need advise

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by JJ141214 on Saturday, January 31, 2015 and has 17 replies.

How Do Players Typically React When Confronted

Players may react defensively or ignore confrontation, especially if they are avoiding accountability. Their response often depends on their personality and the situation. Recognizing these reactions can help you decide whether to address the issue directly or set boundaries to protect your emotions.

Profile picture of JJ141214
@JJ141214
11 Years

HOW DOES A PLAYER (SOMEONE THAT MUST USED U) REACTS WHEN COMFRONTED? IS IT TYPICAL FOR A PLAYER TO IGNORE YOU WHEN YOUNCONFRONT THEM—? AND HOW TO HANDLE THE FACT THAT SOMEONE USED YOU KNLWING YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH THEM?

Profile picture of JJ141214
@JJ141214
11 Years

NOT TRYING TO WIN...MUST DISTRTAUT AND TRYING TO COPE....AND FIND ANSWERD FOR ME...IN ORDER TO MIVE FORWARD _

Profile picture of P-Angel
@P-Angel
21 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

wtf?

Yeah, be that stupid bitch and confront that man because he isn't carrying around your insecurities, and see how fast you run to the other corner crying.

A man has no obligation to you. It doesn't matter what you feel. So, in stead of acting like a mature adult and stepping away so that you can garner some control over yourself ... you want to put his back against the wall to attempt to make him guilty for not validating how you feel?

What the fuck is the matter with people? why are they so stupid?

Profile picture of JJ141214
@JJ141214
11 Years

THE ONLY STUPID PEOPLE HERE I SEE HERE IS YOU .... READ THE QUESTION—?? YOU DID NOT ANSWER MY QUESTION. THATS #1 ....and #2 he has been separated 3 years and I'm in the early stages of my legal separation.... and life is not black and white as some people would like it to be..... your stupid may be my smart and vice versa..... we are all learning in this world... sometimes we allow ourselves in situations that may not be the wises but at the time you go in with sheer emotions not thinking straight... as in my case married to an alcoholic for 7.5 years....shit happens... that's life ...

Profile picture of Octoberbaby91
@Octoberbaby91
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Did he even show you legal documents of separation? Common sense to me would be he was always married or else he would've had his own house.

There are too many single men in the world for you to chase a married man. But that says more about your insecurities than the douchebag you were dealing with.

You are what you attract. Hi figure out why you pick unhealthy relationships go FIND yourself and then you will be with much better men. The continuation of that toxic cycle will make you bitter of all men of you don't stop the pattern.

You are your own worst enemy.

Profile picture of StarChild63
@StarChild63
11 Years1,000+ Posts

It depends. Did he really use you or that's your thinking? If he didn't hell probably get pissed and lash out at you or ignore you. If he did hell deny it or lash out at you or ignore you or fess up to it and apologize. Hard to tell with them. To cope you need to know the real truth about the situation and if it turns out he did you need to find ways to cope-hobbies, working out, and heal

Profile picture of P-Angel
@P-Angel
21 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Posted by JJ141214

IS IT TYPICAL FOR A PLAYER TO IGNORE YOU WHEN YOUNCONFRONT THEM—?

Which means, you've already confronted him.

So, that means, since he is ignoring you, that the sole purpose of this thread (and why it is in caps) ... is so you can have the attention of people while you throw a temper tantrum, and wa wa wa.

Profile picture of FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
11 Years10,000+ Posts

I have been with a player and a cheater my ex bff. The major red signs are staying out all night-late, not answering your phone calls, white crusted dried up shit on his cock, and smells like a women. Run run run, it's not worth it.

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by JJ141214
HOW DOES A PLAYER (SOMEONE THAT MUST USED U) REACTS WHEN COMFRONTED? IS IT TYPICAL FOR A PLAYER TO IGNORE YOU WHEN YOUNCONFRONT THEM—? AND HOW TO HANDLE THE FACT THAT SOMEONE USED YOU KNLWING YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH THEM?

Why all the shouting—

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by JJ141214
HOW DOES A PLAYER (SOMEONE THAT MUST USED U) REACTS WHEN COMFRONTED? IS IT TYPICAL FOR A PLAYER TO IGNORE YOU WHEN YOUNCONFRONT THEM—? AND HOW TO HANDLE THE FACT THAT SOMEONE USED YOU KNLWING YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH THEM?

If they are a player, they won't care. They won't care if you confront them. They won't care if they hurt you. They don't care.

I don't see the point in confrontation here unless you need it to feel better about yourself.

Revenge, now....that's a different story. 😉

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Twodrinkminimum
You chose to date a married man still living with his wife. There was no guess work involved here. That should have been the information you needed to stay away from him...no matter how much he sweet talked you.

The answer is: don't date married men living with their wife. 99.9% don't have the best intentions.

Wait. She dated a married man...and NOW she feels used? Didn't she know he was using her from the start. Surely she's not THAT naive....

*smh*

Profile picture of JJ141214
@JJ141214
11 Years

First off I wasn't yelling ......writing from a tablet and for some reason my keys got stuck on caps... my bad ...geeeeeez.....second .....separated is more like it..... but anyhow yes of course I want to feel better...we are friend for almost two years (we have gigs together).... so to me feels that wtf our relationship as friends what was that— does mean anything to you—.... was it part of the game until I soften up to him... until I got so close... its messing with my head...I don't want revenge.... because I value what I had with him _

Profile picture of truecap
@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Sex always messes up a friendship; can screw up a lot of good things because when it's over, something like this always happens. Confronting him and being angry is only going to make it worse. Since you were friends before, I suggest you forgive and let it go. Won't affect him either way, but you'll be healthier for it.

*shrugs*

Sorry for your pain, though.

Profile picture of krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts

There are a million reasons why people lie. But sometimes knowing the 'why' doesn't change the big picture, which is that they still lied & don't necessarily deserve you anymore.

There are a million reasons why people cheat. But sometimes knowing the hidden psychology and 'why' behind it doesn't change the outcome which is that you've got a broken heart. And what good is your knowledge & understanding of a person if the person themselves refuses to acknowledge & fix the problem?

We can't play therapist to everybody babygirl. Sometimes you can't make sense out of nonsense. Sometimes people's definitions of love might include hurting others, although you may define love by finding the person even your stubbornness or anger refuses to ever hurt no matter what.

Sometimes people just won't change no matter how much you cry, kick or scream. Sometimes people do really shitty things to good people or to the people they were supposed to love the most. Sometimes people just don't realize what they have until it's gone. And even worse, sometimes people weren't really honest about how they felt about you to begin with, hence the reason it may be so easy for someone to hurt you & then shut down when you have the AUDACITY to stand up against it.

The question isn't 'Why did he lie? Why did he cheat?" The question is, "Why did you stay? Why aren't you honest about the REAL reason you want to 'know' when the truth is that you're really looking for an excuse to talk yourself into staying? Being understanding, compassionate & forgiving is 1 thing, but being a doormat is something different entirely.

At some point, you've got to stop playing psychologist & leave it to the professionals.