Heartbroken virgo guy.

Hoping you guys could give me a bit of perspective. I am virgo sun/cancer moon/aquarius rising and she is taurus/gemini cusp sun, and I don't know the rest right now. We spent three years together and broke up. Toughest break up either of us ever experienced.

She recently entered my life again out of the blue and we spent a month spending all day together (and some nights). It felt like a beautiful beginning to a new relationship. Apparently she isn't ready to commit because this whole time she was dating other men and we had never really talked about boundaries.

I am devastated but I cannot let go of this woman. She is very stubborn and withdrawals at the nearest sign of confrontation. I am extremely communicative about my feelings and where I stand while she likes to keep things light and positive (no heavy conversations or she retreats).

So we went from what seemed like falling back in love to not talking in a matter of a day. I'd go into more details and explain more but needless to say, i'm really messed up over this. I spent 6 months improving myself after the first break up and went through a deep depression as well. It feels like we broke up all over again.

Her and I seem to have this connection no one else has, and I never have found it within anyone else. However she is scared of commitment and I feel like one of her disposable dating partners. I'm a wreck guys. Any advice would be helpful

Virgo you need to learn how to let an ex go she is an ex for a reason don't let her think she can come in and out like that and date other men she showing you she has no respect for you and your feelings. Some virgos like to stay friends with an ex instead of just cutting them completely out. She was only a lesson and preparing you for a better relationship with the woman you are meant for. I know it hurts especially if you went into depression behind it which should motivate you to move on don't let her play with your heart. Good luck 🙂

kquote>Posted by emerald green

she isn't ready to commit
we had never really talked about boundaries.
She is very stubborn and withdrawals at the nearest sign of confrontation
I am extremely communicative about my feelings
However she is scared of commitment

In order for her to withdraw from communicating with you is an indication that you are repeatedly confronting her about something she doesn't want to talk about. Why are you doing that?

Just because she isn't interested in a deep relationship with you doesn't mean she fears commitment.

I get the feeling here that you continue to pressure her into feeling the same as you ... when she just doesn't to do that.

Posted by emerald green

Toughest break up either of us ever experienced.

It felt like a beautiful beginning to a new relationship.

Her and I seem to have this connection no one else has

click to expand

The above words from you indicate to me that most of the problem here is your delusion. You have yourself believing that she feels the same as you. You don't know what is the toughest break up she has ever experienced.

Obviously she doesn't have this profound connection for you, that you have for her.

But, that reality seems to fly over your head. You think that just because feel a certain way, that is means she feels that way, also. And according to what you've written in here ... she doesn't feel that same way about you at all.

You can't make a person want you. You even went on to say that you believe you have improved yourself for her. And that is lunacy. Just because you've done some self improvements, doesn't mean she is going to change how she feels about you.

I think that once you open your eyes, and shed away the fantasy bubble you have wrapped around your brain ... then you will see that this is a one-sided love affair you are having with an image of what you want, and you will see that her actions aren't supporting your fantasy.

From what you have written here ... it looks to me like she enjoys your company, but, would rather not deal with you trying to make this into something more than it is.

I find it really bizarre that a dude is this delusional, tbh

My Gawd she is gem/Taurus cusp!?? Geminis are known for their fear for commitment. They will play with your emotions and when they get bored of you..they will just disappear!! They will come back just to play around. Being a virgo I can feel your emotions. Please run away from her... Get a better girlfriend better than her in every way and you deserve it!!

Posted by busyeyes88

I am fixed .... I will cut ALL ties!
.... taurus I know the majority like to remain on friendly terms even with exes

Those ^^ two contradict each other. Also you claim here (and throughout your post) that the reason why you cut all ties is BECAUSE you are fixed ... then turn around and state the majority of Taurus (who are equally fixed) do not have that quality.

Basically, you're talking out of both sides of your mouth at the same time.

Posted by busyeyes88

so if you do not make any boundaries .......
If you choose to accept me back into your life after our split

You attempt to force the idea on us that you make all relationship terms ... yet, the above suggests to us that you await approval of what terms he is going to establish. Again, hypocrisy.

Posted by busyeyes88

1. You are my ex. You will ALWAYS BE MY EX. I am FIXED so your 'status' in my present life will NEVER change. In fact, you are a part of my past.
2. If you choose to accept me back into your life after our split, I will add you to my harem list and we will do whatever is required on my terms.
3. Any talk of 'feelings' or 'emotions' or talk about your 'status' i will disappear and return when I feel like it because YOU have allowed me to

click to expand

#1 and #2 above state the opposite
#3 states that consideration, of any kind, of the other person, or their feelings will be dismissed as unimportant



After further consideration on my part, regarding this situation, and in listening to the "statements" rendered as fact, due to being a Taurus female .... it now seems as though the OP has dodged a bullet.

Though he may think he's lost something, in losing her ... actually, it's a gain for him to be rid of such a person. He just hasn't realized it yet.