krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
If the parents/family/friends are racist...
Can't see that ever working out,no.
My sister was engaged to an Indian man who grew up in the U.S. but who's parents still live in Delhi. My family was fine with the engagement, but HIS family was racist. They weren't so much concerned about her being white as her being American. My sister was even willing to become a Hindu to satisfy the family, but nothing worked. They were so upset they actually flew over to try to break them up. Sis and her fiance somehow persevered through all of that, but in the end their cultural differences were so vast that they couldn't hold the relationship together anyway.
I worked with a fellow who was part Black/ Part white he told me he hated all whites.
Because his mothers faimly would have nothing to do with him.
I felt sorry for him but still could not understand why he hated all whites.
I ask him once if he hated himself because he was half white?
He said I did not understand because I was a racist.
So I guess it would have been better if the two who had him kept him away from the people who took it out on him.
That part I don't get kids have no choise about where they come from why take it out on them why hurt them?
Because his mothers faimly would have nothing to do with him.
I felt sorry for him but still could not understand why he hated all whites.
I ask him once if he hated himself because he was half white?
He said I did not understand because I was a racist.
So I guess it would have been better if the two who had him kept him away from the people who took it out on him.
That part I don't get kids have no choise about where they come from why take it out on them why hurt them?
I have no answers to this
People will have a heyday with this one.
Out of the majority of my dating experiences, they've mostly been outside of my own ethnicity. My family actually has no problem with this since there is plenty of interracial dating within my own family; however, I have faced some adversity from peers within my own ethnic group. In the area where I was living/going to school it was predominantly black, so at times I got teased because I dated white men. It wasn't like I just hated black guys; I just didn't like the majority of the guys at my school because I knew most of them and I just happened to fall for many white men. But heh I was called some derogatory names sometimes. Honestly, it wasn't so much the people as it was the area that was the problem. There wasn't a lot of diversity minus being a large military area, so once I moved up towards DC for college, I never got looked at twice if I was with a white guy.
I'm also sometimes approached by white guys who have some misconceptions about black women and so they want to "test the waters" so to speak because they have this idea in their head about what I should be like? So, it's those occurrences where I just walk away because I hate being treated like I'm some anomaly or some fantasy.
In terms of what you're asking, while you can't depart from your family like you could a friend(s), you can always distance yourself. If you find that you and your partner have not differences culturally, then the problem is your family and there is honestly no way you can break that. So all you can really do is distance yourself. You love who you love and no one should really take that away from you; if the couple doesn't work out, that should be all on the couple itself, not friends or family.
I'm also sometimes approached by white guys who have some misconceptions about black women and so they want to "test the waters" so to speak because they have this idea in their head about what I should be like? So, it's those occurrences where I just walk away because I hate being treated like I'm some anomaly or some fantasy.
In terms of what you're asking, while you can't depart from your family like you could a friend(s), you can always distance yourself. If you find that you and your partner have not differences culturally, then the problem is your family and there is honestly no way you can break that. So all you can really do is distance yourself. You love who you love and no one should really take that away from you; if the couple doesn't work out, that should be all on the couple itself, not friends or family.
It's okay sometimes to have the "us against the world" mentality in your relationship, especially when outsiders (family or not) can't seem to mind their business. BUT, when your relationship with someone is ruining/sabotaging your entire relationship with your family, it no longer becomes worth it.
Family should always come 1st. Yes, 2 people who love eachother should be able to carry out their relationship on their own & technically the only 2 people who should come b/w their own relationship oughta be either of those 2 people actually IN the relationship.
B
U
T...
That doesn't always happen. If your relationship becomes toxic to your relationships with others, you shouldn't necessarily bail out & quit BUT you need to really really sit down & think about some things. Weigh the scales. Decide if you're losing more by being with a person moreso than gaining.
Plus, it all depends on how much of an influence outsiders have on your partner. If a man has racist parents but yet he never sees/talks to them, that absence or lack of a relationship might actually help vs. dealing with a man whose very close to his racist mom/father.
I'm not saying 1 should give up just b/c the family doesn't accept you BUT when kids start to get involved that's when you really have to sit down & think about things. Is it worth exposing your kids to those ignorant views? Is it worth keeping your children from their grandparents or other family all b/c you couldn't go find someone whose family accepted you with grace?
Family should always come 1st. Yes, 2 people who love eachother should be able to carry out their relationship on their own & technically the only 2 people who should come b/w their own relationship oughta be either of those 2 people actually IN the relationship.
B
U
T...
That doesn't always happen. If your relationship becomes toxic to your relationships with others, you shouldn't necessarily bail out & quit BUT you need to really really sit down & think about some things. Weigh the scales. Decide if you're losing more by being with a person moreso than gaining.
Plus, it all depends on how much of an influence outsiders have on your partner. If a man has racist parents but yet he never sees/talks to them, that absence or lack of a relationship might actually help vs. dealing with a man whose very close to his racist mom/father.
I'm not saying 1 should give up just b/c the family doesn't accept you BUT when kids start to get involved that's when you really have to sit down & think about things. Is it worth exposing your kids to those ignorant views? Is it worth keeping your children from their grandparents or other family all b/c you couldn't go find someone whose family accepted you with grace?
Posted by Prince_Pisces
you get the same type of insults, stares, phobia's....the whole nine yards.
LOL sometimes me and my leo hold hands out in public just to see if we can piss anyone off LOL!
D'awww.
O.K. how about interracial Homosexuals?
How about interracial Homosexuals and one is a man and the other a woman? Can other homosexuals be pissed about them going stright and be racist about it.
O.K. how about a three way thing where one is of colour one is white and the third an mixed?
Well enough of this shit
WHO CARES WHO IS FUCKING WHO.
How about interracial Homosexuals and one is a man and the other a woman? Can other homosexuals be pissed about them going stright and be racist about it.
O.K. how about a three way thing where one is of colour one is white and the third an mixed?
Well enough of this shit
WHO CARES WHO IS FUCKING WHO.
I am Indian and my ex was white and amazingly beautiful and believe me people in Europe especially the white looked at us we were from some different planet. Even her close friends and family member looked strangely at me and questioned our relationship. But I also found people there who were happy for us especially her parents.
Here is Dubai people used to look at us as if telling me " wow, well done bro you have done it by hunting white girl".
In both situation I felt embarrassing.
I believe in love and love have no boundaries. I don't care about color or nationality.
When I see a mix couple it make me happy b/c I think they always have a stronger love and a tested one though.
Here is Dubai people used to look at us as if telling me " wow, well done bro you have done it by hunting white girl".
In both situation I felt embarrassing.
I believe in love and love have no boundaries. I don't care about color or nationality.
When I see a mix couple it make me happy b/c I think they always have a stronger love and a tested one though.
Indians don't count there are a lot of indians in america I just noticed that some from india some from New Mexico some from Canada its to hard to keep up with indians
When I was younger I went out with my best friends brother (who was white, I am black). Their dad was really nice to me, I even found out later on that he had a crush on me (yuck!). My friend had warned me he was racist but it turned out his problem was only towards black men! My friend started going out with a black guy and all hell broke loose! Their mum wasnt racist at all and was really embaressed by her husbands behaviour, eventually my friends boyfriend was allowed in the house but the dad would always leave. I stopped being on friendly terms with him after that.
My friend ended up pregnant, the baby was aborted, her dad never knew. I dread to think what would have happened if he had known. His wife left him in the end (not just because of his racism) and is now with a Black guy, poetic justice lol.
But to answer the OP I think it can work but it could result in someone having to cut their family off. But to be honest I would quite happily cut off any racist member of my family. Just because we share DNA does not mean I have to associate with them! Luckily my family have always welcomed any guy I have introduced them too with open arms and I have never dated within my race. I have always been welcomed by the other family too.
My friend ended up pregnant, the baby was aborted, her dad never knew. I dread to think what would have happened if he had known. His wife left him in the end (not just because of his racism) and is now with a Black guy, poetic justice lol.
But to answer the OP I think it can work but it could result in someone having to cut their family off. But to be honest I would quite happily cut off any racist member of my family. Just because we share DNA does not mean I have to associate with them! Luckily my family have always welcomed any guy I have introduced them too with open arms and I have never dated within my race. I have always been welcomed by the other family too.
@Libra sun: You're right. A person would have to cut ties with their family. Problem is, I can't see myself coming into a new relationship/situation with someone & them having to do something like that all b/c of me. If that person hadn't cut their family off yet before I came into the picture, I wouldn't want that on my heart/conscious to know that b/c of me & a relationship that my partner cut off the most important people in his life. Family is still family regardless of short comings.
Now if my partner revealed to me later on down the road that his family/parents were racist, that'd be a different story b/c atleast we would've already established our bound & relationship. But starting out on the 1st date & finding something like that out? No, I'd do him & everyone a favor & leave the situation. I'd have to be confident that I can find love with yet another great person whose family isn't racist.
I don't necessarily agree that a person should cut their entire family off all b/c they're racist. There are many ways family members can be ignorant socially. I'd cut my dad off if he was a terrorist but if he was racist but yet kept his racist mindset/thoughts to himself, I'd be a fool to cut him off for that 1 thing when yet he's so many other good things. Relationships aren't guaranteed. Family members are guaranteed by blood; they'll always be there; you can't break up with or divorce them.
Now if my partner revealed to me later on down the road that his family/parents were racist, that'd be a different story b/c atleast we would've already established our bound & relationship. But starting out on the 1st date & finding something like that out? No, I'd do him & everyone a favor & leave the situation. I'd have to be confident that I can find love with yet another great person whose family isn't racist.
I don't necessarily agree that a person should cut their entire family off all b/c they're racist. There are many ways family members can be ignorant socially. I'd cut my dad off if he was a terrorist but if he was racist but yet kept his racist mindset/thoughts to himself, I'd be a fool to cut him off for that 1 thing when yet he's so many other good things. Relationships aren't guaranteed. Family members are guaranteed by blood; they'll always be there; you can't break up with or divorce them.
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What do you guys think?