is he hinting at me??

Is he hinting at me??
Me and this guy have been friends for a couple of years, but thats all it's ever been, however he's always talked to me like we are more than friends. Recently he has said indirect things like i want a relationship now, i want to find a girl and settle down etc etc.. but its all indirect nothing where he has said with you etc etc.

Anyway in the last couple of weeks he has tried calling me but i havn't had the time to speak to him or anything, i havn't returned his calls, i'v been quite busy.. so after a few times of ringing me he text messaged me (this is very unusual for him he NEVER messages me), but i assumed its because i hadn't called him back or nothing.

He messaged asking me to listen to a song and tell him what i think, so i was thinking thats unusual again..because he's never bothered enough to message me normall about music lol.. so then i listened to the song and i was like :O.. is he trying to tell me something. to me the words practically described our situation.

the words are : baby i've known you for a long long time, i never thought that we would find, what we are holding in our hands, lately i've been thinking i should make you mine, been thinking that we should define what we are, you know i like to be in control but recently i don't know what to do i'm losing it over you,

we both feel the same, and i can't play this game any longer

girl i think about you all of the time, wondering how im going to make you mine,so many things ive been wanting to say, held in my heart for a day like today, i want to hold you till the light fades away..


thats the basic jist of the song...

so after he messaged me asking me to tell him what i think... i said i would listen to it later.... and then that very same day he did ring me again... before i'd even messaged him anything back about it..because i was confusedd.. as to whether he was trying to tell me something... or whether i was thinking to much in to it

so i rang him back a few days later.... and he didnt mention it again ... so i thought i would... i said yes so about that song... its not your normal type of song that you like (i didn't wanna be too obvious).. i was just trying to find out his reasons for asking me to listen to it.. and he said not really...BUT I REALLY LIKE THE WORDS....i said ok kool.. and that was it end of.... he didnt even ask me my opinion of it or anything more...

so it could either be that he didnt mean anything by it...

or that he didn't want to say anything

Oh there was def. a reason he had you specifically listen to that song!

He sounds like he's passive/aggressive.

You mentioned that he's been indirect/passive-aggressive in matters involving you throughout your whole friendship with him so clearly that's his approach to situations & if that's the case, then you should read b/w the lines instead of suddenly expecting him to be a direct kind of guy.

Sounds like he's liked you for quite some time but never made a move either b/c 1. He wasn't ready for a committment & didn't wanna drag you down, ruining your friendship or 2. He's never directly approached you b/c he's always gotten the vibe from you that you weren't interested

There's this mantra that all men will directly chase after any woman they really want. That's not always the case. Yes, aggressive men will, but we're clearly not talking about an aggressive man here!

Him being all hot/cold & distant when you finally spoke of the song to him is just normal behavior of someone who is shy and/or passive-aggressive

Just come straight out & ask him what's up. Enough of the passive-aggressive stuff. For all you know he might be waiting on you to 'go first' b/c sometimes that's all a person needs in order to spill their guts & heart out!

If anything, start the discussion just for the sake of knowing where you 2 stand. Instead of always wondering or trying to guess/analyze this guy, just be straight up & ask him. Give him the floor. Give him the chance to speak his mind.

IF he doesn't take the bait, oh well. Atleast you gave him the chance to.

This is just like every other thread in here ..... girl does nothing to secure her own wants, and waits until a guy, any guy, decides for her that she would like his attention.

Nowhere in here did you describe your yearning for him, your wanting of him ... nothing of him that rocked you. Then once he decides that he might like you .. now you disregard yourself and become giddy over him giving you different attention.


This gets really old ... when are we going to start breeding women with honor again?

Posted by krysrenee7
Oh there was def. a reason he had you specifically listen to that song!

He sounds like he's passive/aggressive.

You mentioned that he's been indirect/passive-aggressive in matters involving you throughout your whole friendship with him so clearly that's his approach to situations & if that's the case, then you should read b/w the lines instead of suddenly expecting him to be a direct kind of guy.

Sounds like he's liked you for quite some time but never made a move either b/c 1. He wasn't ready for a committment & didn't wanna drag you down, ruining your friendship or 2. He's never directly approached you b/c he's always gotten the vibe from you that you weren't interested

There's this mantra that all men will directly chase after any woman they really want. That's not always the case. Yes, aggressive men will, but we're clearly not talking about an aggressive man here!

Him being all hot/cold & distant when you finally spoke of the song to him is just normal behavior of someone who is shy and/or passive-aggressive

Just come straight out & ask him what's up. Enough of the passive-aggressive stuff. For all you know he might be waiting on you to 'go first' b/c sometimes that's all a person needs in order to spill their guts & heart out!

If anything, start the discussion just for the sake of knowing where you 2 stand. Instead of always wondering or trying to guess/analyze this guy, just be straight up & ask him. Give him the floor. Give him the chance to speak his mind.

IF he doesn't take the bait, oh well. Atleast you gave him the chance to.

thanks for the advice and insight.

we have literally been talking as friends and just being friends for a good three years now.. and thats a long time... i always assumed he would have found someone else by now... because he has a whole host of other girls who like him etc etc...

and he's just confusing..when he implies/indirectly says things.. they can be really intense/deep/ like the kind of things you say to someone you really really like or even love ( im not saying this is the case, but its just the intensity of what hes said).. and then at other times..he'll be distant and not call for like a whole month..and speak of other girls/women.. in such a way that from an outsiders point of view it would seem like he only sees me as his close mate who he can tell everything to..not some

one who he supposedly likes...
examples of other women he speaks of :
1. i think my neighbour is really hot...she's blonde, got blue eyes..etc etc..and my friends think im mad for not hooking up with her...and i think if i was in a room with her i wouldnt be able to control myself...so i try to avoid that situation.. so i said is it thats kooll.. but why do you avoid it , he says its because i dont want to get together with just anyone.. i want to have a relationship and not get in to that bad habit...

2. i think im going to propose to my doctor because she seems to be the only one who cares about me...plus she's soo pretty... im going to go see her one day and get down on one knee :/.. again i was lik kool go ahead... if u want lol

i'm actually the worst person to hint at..because im not the type to express myself either...so im not going to come out with bold declarations of love.. lol....nothing even remotely like this..

but when he talks about other women... i find it hard to believe when he impliess that he likes me etc etc...its like he's two different people...

By any chance is this dude a gemini?

LOL not he's a capricorn

no*.. does it make sense in terms of capricorn?

Posted by seraph
Ok, so do you want him or what?

not necessarily want him in that way ... not yet anyway LOL... i just want to know what he is thinking thought ...thats it

Posted by candy10

Posted by seraph
Ok, so do you want him or what?

not necessarily want him in that way ... not yet anyway LOL... i just want to know what he is thinking thought ...thats it

click to expand

Have you tried asking him?

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson

Posted by candy10

Posted by seraph
Ok, so do you want him or what?

not necessarily want him in that way ... not yet anyway LOL... i just want to know what he is thinking thought ...thats it

Have you tried asking him?

click to expand

no not straight out no lol, i don't want to sound stupid... in case i'm completely off mark

Who is going to think you are stupid?
Do you want to know whatzup? Or if anything is actually up?

Invoke your inner Aries and blurt out the question. Don't die wondering.

Posted by P-Angel
This is just like every other thread in here ..... girl does nothing to secure her own wants, and waits until a guy, any guy, decides for her that she would like his attention.

Nowhere in here did you describe your yearning for him, your wanting of him ... nothing of him that rocked you. Then once he decides that he might like you .. now you disregard yourself and become giddy over him giving you different attention.


This gets really old ... when are we going to start breeding women with honor again?

Quoted because I was worried candy didn't see it.

Posted by Amandus

Posted by P-Angel
This is just like every other thread in here ..... girl does nothing to secure her own wants, and waits until a guy, any guy, decides for her that she would like his attention.

Nowhere in here did you describe your yearning for him, your wanting of him ... nothing of him that rocked you. Then once he decides that he might like you .. now you disregard yourself and become giddy over him giving you different attention.


This gets really old ... when are we going to start breeding women with honor again?

Quoted because I was worried candy didn't see it.

click to expand

im not giddy over it... im just trying to figure it out... im actually quite cool and collected with him... like i have always been ( sarcastic frown)... i rhink people who have no idea what they're talking about should not comment

i don't like any odd attention from anyone ...and i do get a lot if it.. but i ignore it most of the time... but this person has been my friend for a long time... so im just trying to figure out where this has all come from.. is that suddenly a crime :/

Same Cap you've been hung up on for years, and made several threads about on DXP? Still looking for some flicker, any crumb at all from him, eh?

Cuz that's SO much easier than actually taking personal responsibility for your own happiness, and moving on to find a man who doesn't spend THREE FUCKING YEARS dropping (or NOT dropping) "hints" about whether or not he even LIKES you like that? Oh hell, THIS guy even told you STRAIGHT UP that he didn't like you like that. My bad.

Seriously.. why are you hung up on a guy who can't even be bothered to not go back and forth with your emotions? Why is your self-esteem so low that you think this is okay, and acceptable behavior? Why haven't you MOVED ON from this guy and found one who actually WANTS you, and doesn't spend three years playing games?! :/

Posted by P-Angel
This is just like every other thread in here ..... girl does nothing to secure her own wants, and waits until a guy, any guy, decides for her that she would like his attention.

Nowhere in here did you describe your yearning for him, your wanting of him ... nothing of him that rocked you. Then once he decides that he might like you .. now you disregard yourself and become giddy over him giving you different attention.


This gets really old ... when are we going to start breeding women with honor again?

Also, P... candy is a Virgo. ^_^

Well that explains alot .. thanks Nefer

Posted by Nefer
Same Cap you've been hung up on for years, and made several threads about on DXP? Still looking for some flicker, any crumb at all from him, eh?

Cuz that's SO much easier than actually taking personal responsibility for your own happiness, and moving on to find a man who doesn't spend THREE FUCKING YEARS dropping (or NOT dropping) "hints" about whether or not he even LIKES you like that? Oh hell, THIS guy even told you STRAIGHT UP that he didn't like you like that. My bad.

Seriously.. why are you hung up on a guy who can't even be bothered to not go back and forth with your emotions? Why is your self-esteem so low that you think this is okay, and acceptable behavior? Why haven't you MOVED ON from this guy and found one who actually WANTS you, and doesn't spend three years playing games?! :/

quite harsh aren't you?

i guess because unlike some people i'm not a skank who moves on from one person to the next in seconds..
and woooaahhh... you're acting like you know the whole story..which might i add YOU DON'T.. it would take me three FUCKING YEARS to tell anyone.. so obviously all you hear.. are the bits which i might get confused about...

i've not been waiting for him..because i don't currently want anything from him... i just want to know what he's trying to say to me....hence im not in reality pining away like you might think :/

seriously you have no right to talk about my self esteem... because like i previously mentioned... i've not jumped from one person to the next like the town bike... as a lot of people these days do... jeeeeeeeze give me some credit likee

at 40 years old you should grow up and learn to talk to people with respect... rather than making accusations and judgements... you have no clue what you're going on about.

Actually, I was MUCH harsher in one of your previous threads, remember? I thought I was rather nice this time.

What's being hung up on a man who gives you so little, SO hung up that you aren't even interested in moving on and finding someone to have a REAL relationship with.. what's that got to do with skanks and town bikes? Who said anything about sex? Not me.

So, in a nutshell: He's fucked up, he's wishy-washy, he plays back and forth games with you for three years.. and you're OKAY with that (haven't seen you posting here about ANYONE else -- just him) kind of treatment?! And then you think your self-esteem problem isn't obvious to everyone, and anyone who points it out is being disrespectful and knows nothing?

Whatever, Virgo girl. You've posted at great length about this Cap guy, and I'm sure you'll post more.

Have a nice one. *waves*