Is it better to move on quickly or take time

and heal?

I have 3 daughters...yes, it's hard enough being a girl and dealing with heartache and growing up. And I haven't mastered it nor think I ever will! But there are times when I have to try and be there for these girls and help them through the tough times with all the right things to say and magically make it all go away...

We all have been through heartbreak in the last few years, the Leo was probably deceived/betrayed most and she let it all out on FB and expressed how she was hurting for everyone to see. She moved on fast started dating and within 3 months has a new bf and is happy again.

Me (Libra) The Taurus and Cancer all quietly dealt with our own pain and didn't voice much but haven't given ourselves another try in the love stakes...I know this is the way it always is with me. I take time to heal and reflect and relax before I trust again and open up.

Which way do you think is better?

Where in your chart makes a difference in the way choose to heal?

Do you know of people that move on fast and are happy, and are they truly happy?

"Where in your chart makes a difference in the way choose to heal? Do you know of people that move on fast and are happy, and are they truly happy?"

As faster we move, as sooner we'll be happy again! Being happy does not necessarily imply finding love again......However, looking for the next guy as soon as you are out of a relationship could help.

When I was younger, every heartbreak triggered the faith that something even better will happen to me in the future. I was looking forward to the many possibilities (e.g. personalities) to explore! Now I kind of understand what I want/need. After my latest heartbreak, I did not feel that hope any longer, simply because i knew the guy was a rare match for me. I liked him a lot and it is be unlikely that I will be with someone like him again. Never in my life had I cried every day, for about 3 months!

However, I also registered on a dating site less than 12 hours after being dumped (yeah, this time was desperation, not explorer's enthusiasm 🙂) and found the next guy within minutes! Six months down the line, I'm pleased with him and myself.

What in my chart makes a difference.....let's not point fingers to my Aqua Venus. After all, she's a damn fixed Venus.

I hear you, never really thought of it like that before but I guess it's because after a split I've always held hope that things will change... He'll come to the realisation that we can work things through and I spend a great deal of time processing before completely letting go.

I like the idea of every heartbreak will trigger something better for the future. In fact I can see it was true for my latest, I can see it but can't feel it while going through it.

Venus in libra

That last statement rings scarily true Tiz!

In my younger days I wouldn't believe it but now I can see it's true!

There's the adage - to get over someone is to get under someone


But, I've never tried it ... so I can't verify it.

Posted by sweethearts
He'll come to the realisation that we can work things through and I spend a great deal of time processing before completely letting go.

If he said "I'm out", it's because he came to realize that this was what he wanted. They don't say it just to test the waters, unless he's some Cancer freak (I've seen one on the Cancer forum going completely bonkers because the girl he just dumped didn't run after him, lol!).

I let him go as soon as I made sure he's serious. It only takes a few minutes to figure that out. What do you have to process? Let's say you thought you two were made for each other. Well, you're wrong. Unless some weird "Romeo and Juliet-like" circumstances were tearing you apart, he thought otherwise!

It's most likely one or the other: you lacked something he wanted or you had something he didn't want. He wasn't invested enough to want to compromise. It's not much point to try to figure out what it was. We all have individual needs. Next guy will be different.

I know, there is that nagging thought that you could have changed for him, if only you knew what he wanted! Some deal breakers are trivial things.....He just didn't say what it was and now you try to figure it out....

Well, DON'T! Let him find someone else, someone who gives him naturally what he was missing from you. And you should do the same.


* Lol, that is largely what I'm thinking when I'm dumped 😛*

"When he finally loses me, he'll realize what he lost, regret ever losing me & will change." Sounds good, but this doesn't always happen. By the time a man finally changes, you'll either be long gone and no longer caring of his "mindset" OR another woman will be reaping the benefits of his change.

Sometimes a man gets over you before he actually leaves you. Sometimes he uses his relations with someone new to get over you. And other times, a man never really ever gets over you no matter how many women he tries to replace you with. Just depends. It's really hard to tell which 1 of the 3 is happening after a breakup b/c a woman's mind/imagination will lead her to ----> It's his loss, and he'll realize it, regret it & won't ever find another woman like me...Even if this is furthest from the truth, a woman will tell herself this stuff anyways lol

Sometimes rebound relationships actually work out. Sometimes people's attempts to use rebounds as a way to get over an ex fail miserably. My opinion is that suppressed issues/baggage/demons don't go away. And I get annoyed when I see people with 75 pounds of baggage expecting others to "cure" or rid them of that baggage. 9 times out of 10, unhealed emotions, unfinished business and unfixed baggage will just manifest itself somewhere in someway down the road anyway.

I think the best way to get over someone is to just suck it up, endure the emotions & slowly but surely ween yourself off of that person. If you go cold turkey, you're less likely to feel confident in being alone & taking out the time to heal, thus making you more likely to go find a rebound that doesn't deserve to be mixed up in your unhealed/unfinished emotions.

I don't personally buy that simply getting another partner & claiming to be happy (conveniently saying this during the honeymoon phase only) means that you're truly happy. Eventually, those unhealed emotions will manifest in future situations. We see it happen all the time, sometimes 2 marriages or 5 relationships later.

Just my opinion though.

I love that women are taught to consider themselves Queens who ARE good enough for any man that walks past them. Great.

Here's the problem. All men WON'T think that way about her. If a man never truly valued or loved you in the 1st place, he's not going to be at home crying over or regretting his decision to move away from a woman who technically never meant much to him to begin with.

This is why the "actions speak louder than words" creed is so important to follow. Don't listen to what a man tells you. Watch how he treats you. If he's always taken you for granted, chances are he was selling you empty dreams the whole time & never appreciated you to begin with. People don't miss what they were never truly invested in to begin with.

I know women don't want to hear that, but it's true. When you hold on to a man who clearly isn't right for you, you're subconsciously agreeing to continue emotionally investing in someone who does NOT exist. You're holding onto a figment of your imagination. You're holding on to what could be instead of what IS. You're using wishful thinking instead of pure logic. It's not that you love who he really is. No, it's that you love who he USED to be or who you WISHED he was.

If a man was pretending the whole time or wasn't ever fully invested, you'd be silly to think that he'd somehow have an attack of conscious later on. The kinds of men who regret losing good women, typically truly loved, appreciated & respected her at some point.

Some men aren't sad that you're gone b/c they regret hurting you. Some men are angry that you're not any longer giving them the chance/opportunity to use you, abuse you or be their part-time toy when they feel like being manipulative or sexual. Truth.

Wish I could feel like that when a relationship ends but it's just not in me. I have to go through all the motions but in saying that I believe the way I deal even though painful at the time makes me a stronger woman/lover the next time around. I take on the chin my part in the split and I make sure it changes with the next, rarely making the same mistakes. But the process is long and that can be frustrating.

Seeing one of my girls bounce back quickly makes it look so easy.