Is this strange?

I met a guy online. Started with the texting and we've met twice and are seeing each other again this Sunday. For whatever reason he seems repelled by the phone! We've literally texted 2400 texts since Feb 14! I tried asking him about it tonight and his exact answer was, "I think it's still a feeling out process I think". We had a great time in person and we have a lot of fun texting, but this hesitation to talk on the phone feels VERY weird to me.

I expect that would make me twitch just a bit myself. You may want to keep your eyes open for any other "quirks."

Ha! Insight into how my brain works....


IS THIS STRANGE? I met a guy online

answer: "yes"

But seriously...
I HATE talking on the phone. It's a major for me to ring someone (unless it's a quickie to confirm some vital detail.)
I have rung 3 people this week which is a world record for me - all people I knew were having a rough time. Two appreciated it and the other one wouldn't know me well enough to know what a big deal it was😢

Text can give you a bit of breathing space and you don't have to worry about those "OMG - why did I say that?" moments later after you've hung up.


Are you a chatterbox? I know a lot of girls are - no offence meant, but girls can "chat" a lot about absolutely nothing which a guy (particularly if he doesn't know you that well) would struggle to keep up with. I don't bother trying.

I vote for giving him another chance in person.

I absolutely abhor talking on the phone - If I can't talk face to face I would rather leave it until we can meet, a couple of check in texts are fine or a quick phone call to firm up or check something.

oh and this goes for everyone in my life not just new people.

Posted by celticlioness
I absolutely abhor talking on the phone - If I can't talk face to face I would rather leave it until we can meet, a couple of check in texts are fine or a quick phone call to firm up or check something.

I think we should discuss this over a beer at the Tullow pub. In person of course.

x so lent, what time 🙂

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson


Are you a chatterbox? I know a lot of girls are - no offence meant, but girls can "chat" a lot about absolutely nothing which a guy (particularly if he doesn't know you that well) would struggle to keep up with. I don't bother trying.

I vote for giving him another chance in person.

No offense taken! I know you're right and I completely agree. Nope..not a chatterbox. I'm certain. 🙂

Ok..thanks you, guys. I understand and I will definintely not make it out to be something it's not.

Hehe, I'M THE AQUA! Shouldn't it be ME who is detached?!? 😄 He's a Gemini!

Yeah, I am hearing that a lot from the guys (and some girls) I talked with about this. I'll take it as that because honestly he's not the same on the phone...seems standoffish so maybe he just doesn't like it.

Posted by dofacc
I expect that would make me twitch just a bit myself. You may want to keep your eyes open for any other "quirks."

I agree with you dofacc...I would never be able to get a feel of a guy just on text...and then go out with him without talking on the phone? I can't do that... Hope all works out for ya😉

Either he's got a girlfriend/wife at home or he's just not a 'phone' type of guy.

But still, communication is way too important & texting is so..so impersonal after awhile, so if you both want the friendship/relationship to stand a chance he's gonna have to suck it up, especially since communication is twice as important when it's long distance

Yes you could be looking more into this than necessary but at the same time, it's not good to start out a new situation already getting used to supressing how you feel.

If it bothers you, you should address it. After all, is he technically gonna 'die' if he has to dial your number for a change?

Hell if anything, it takes 100Xs more energy/time to text than it does to just suck it up, pick up the phone & get the conversation over with =P

Posted by krysrenee7
Either he's got a girlfriend/wife at home or he's just not a 'phone' type of guy.

But still, communication is way too important & texting is so..so impersonal after awhile, so if you both want the friendship/relationship to stand a chance he's gonna have to suck it up, especially since communication is twice as important when it's long distance

Yes you could be looking more into this than necessary but at the same time, it's not good to start out a new situation already getting used to supressing how you feel.

If it bothers you, you should address it. After all, is he technically gonna 'die' if he has to dial your number for a change?

Hell if anything, it takes 100Xs more energy/time to text than it does to just suck it up, pick up the phone & get the conversation over with =P

I could not agree more..perfectly said😉

Posted by krysrenee7

But still, communication is way too important & texting is so..so impersonal after awhile, so if you both want the friendship/relationship to stand a chance he's gonna have to suck it up, especially since communication is twice as important when it's long distance

Yes you could be looking more into this than necessary but at the same time, it's not good to start out a new situation already getting used to supressing how you feel.

Yeeeeeeeeeeah, so I think I pretty much figured out the WHY part (which actually was something I considered early on). I thought perhaps he may be seeing other people (which he said he was not...said he wasn't a clown and did not/would not juggle multiple women). And maybe he was afraid of confusing the woman he was talking to with another one. Maybe even call them by the wrong name?

Well, I decided to see if he was still active on the website we met on. He was. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought, "Well, maybe he is just being nice and replying to people that write him." lol BUT I also set up a fake profile, emailed him, and promptly got a response which indicated interest.

Soooooo...yeah, needless to say. Over and out. (That phone thing was a HUGE red flag...I don't care what anyone says.)

This sucks noodles, Shadows. Im sorry he was such a twat. Have youl told him yet?

Heck yeah I told him! Haven't heard from him since! He's probably embarrassed. I know I would be!

Beware!! Narcissist,Sociopaths, Anti-social, Bipolar eg some type of personality defect/disorder, commitmentphobes..Hiding something, avoidant personality, avoiding physical-emotional connection, emotionally stunted, manipulative, married, girlfriend.

Posted by Shadows

Posted by krysrenee7

But still, communication is way too important & texting is so..so impersonal after awhile, so if you both want the friendship/relationship to stand a chance he's gonna have to suck it up, especially since communication is twice as important when it's long distance

Yes you could be looking more into this than necessary but at the same time, it's not good to start out a new situation already getting used to supressing how you feel.

Yeeeeeeeeeeah, so I think I pretty much figured out the WHY part (which actually was something I considered early on). I thought perhaps he may be seeing other people (which he said he was not...said he wasn't a clown and did not/would not juggle multiple women). And maybe he was afraid of confusing the woman he was talking to with another one. Maybe even call them by the wrong name?

Well, I decided to see if he was still active on the website we met on. He was. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought, "Well, maybe he is just being nice and replying to people that write him." lol BUT I also set up a fake profile, emailed him, and promptly got a response which indicated interest.

Soooooo...yeah, needless to say. Over and out. (That phone thing was a HUGE red flag...I don't care what anyone says.)

click to expand

Didn't read all the post on this threat....but ++1

smart...

thread

Maybe I didn't read all above correctly, but so what if he is still online...you should be too until you are in a committed relationship. I always think everyone is free to do as they please until there is SPOKEN/VERBAL conversation between two people that they are exclusive.

I am amazed at how many people assume that one is "cheating" on another when there has never been an exclusive talk between the parties!!! It's not cheating...it's dating until you decide to be exclusive.

By the way....everyone I know that has online dated has hated it, and I know there are exceptions but sorry most men "shop" on all those sites. Too shady...could be "spoken for" men on there shopping around for something different. Be wary!
Even the founder of Match.com did not find his wife on there...and that's why he started it...to find a wife!!

Also...agree with the phone thing...some men are def not chatty types...don't be quick to judge until you know the whole story...

Yup...you didn't read the whole post. He said he was not seeing anyone else or considering other options.

I agree that people are free to do what they want to do...dating multiple people at once is not my thing, nor would I really want to date someone else like that. For me...there IS middle ground between dating several people at once and being in a commited relationship. If I meet someone enough to want to see them again...I want to see where it can go. I can't do that with one foot here and one foot there. Thats me. I didn't accuse him of cheating nor did I think of it that way. He just lied. Plain and simple.

While I agree that not talking on the phone didn't HAVE to mean something bad...my instincts were right on in this case.

Posted by tiki33
Beware!! Narcissist,Sociopaths, Anti-social, Bipolar eg some type of personality defect/disorder, commitmentphobes..Hiding something, avoidant personality, avoiding physical-emotional connection, emotionally stunted, manipulative, married, girlfriend.

This was right on too. He NEVER really asked me anything about myself. It was fluff more than anything. I bought into it hook, line and sinker. Lesson learned. So a month was lost...no biggie.