Scorp and Gem scenario

Have been married a few years. Were together several years prior.

Scorp complains that Gem is insecure and paranoid about him communicating with female friends/teammates/coworkers. Says that Gem snoops, accuses him of cheating, tells him to delete/not talk to people, etc. Has mentioned in the past that the marriage may not last another year. Makes mention of them possibly going to counseling, if I remember correctly.

Gem admits to insecurity and says she's been working on it. Says Scorp refused counseling, and would act really suspicious when it came to his phone- leaving the room to text/deleting all texts aside from hers and work related texts. Now Scorp is ready to end it, says he hates her, and is threatening to throw all her stuff out if she's not moved out by the end of the month.

...I've remained neutral and have stayed out of most of it, just let the two vent. Haven't heard from the Scorp since he told me he was planning on ending it. She got in touch a few days later, needing someone to vent to since she has nobody.

What has me stumped is the Scorp's reaction as well as the funky behavior with the phone.

Being with an insecure/accusatory person would make anyone paranoid or extra cautious with their phone because the dumbest shit will make the other person fly off the handle. However, I still find it strange he'd leave the room to text and delete every single text like that. Even ones from me, and our convos were nothing but bsing about things that involved us/our circle of friends (she even told me she doesn't care if he's in touch with me since I'm friends with both).

The other is the drastic change toward her. I know he's fed up, and Scorps will turn into some fucked up assholes when they're fed up, but throwing her out? When he told me that he was calling it off, he made it sound like he'd already told her and they'd agreed she'd move by the end of the month. Not THROWING her out on the street regardless if she had a new place or not. The extreme has me baffled. Is this par for Scorps?

She's also had a few inconsistencies in her side of things- says she doesn't get all crazy psycho, just wtf about his behavior with his phone, but then has admitted to getting crazy and accusing him of cheating. She has been a little vague on some things as well. Also doesn't surprise me too much because, Gem.

Just throwing this out there to get some better understanding of these two signs in a scenario like this. :/

I'm also a bit torn because of all the inconsistencies from both that I want to throw my hands up and be like, "this is on you two."

And it is. But at the same time, the friend part of me wants to be there for them in a time of need.

Being friends with both is what has me torn on what to do. I don't want to flat out ignore them and refuse to talk about a problem, but at the same time it's what I may have to do. :/

Are you concerned you may be pulled into mediating in a situation where you don't have the full story?
I think that's understandable but you shouldn't feel like you are caught in the middle, just keep doing what you're doing.
Be the vent friend and listen to their issues but don't pressure yourself too much...

Sounds like he has the attitude of 'I'm being accused of it, so I'm going to torture her for believing this about me. I'll show her'.

She has reason to feel the way she does. He's not trying to reassure her, just resisting and making a point.

She sounds controlling and wants to tell him what to do, who he can't and can talk to, deciding who his friends are, wants to be in charge of him (sounds so familiar to me).

He has reason to be fed up.

I think you should be there for them to vent, listen, validate their feelings, but not to offer any advice or suggestions. And definitely do not to say something about the other. They're both right and they're both wrong. Nothing else you can do but listen. You're doing the right thing.

Posted by Arielle83
Was she insecure before or is all this new?

He does sound suss with hiding shit. I guess he doesn't get how to comfort a wife who is made to feel insecure by his suspicious behaviour. She's just reacting and then he's reacting against her. Communication issues but he sounds like a bitch. He should go to counselling cuz he sounds like he sucks.

However, if she was insecure and controlling before then why get married? It sounds like she's losing it. Scorpio can't be with anyone who doesn't trust them, even if they are acting weirdly.

I agree.

Posted by Arielle83
Was she insecure before or is all this new?

He does sound suss with hiding shit. I guess he doesn't get how to comfort a wife who is made to feel insecure by his suspicious behaviour. She's just reacting and then he's reacting against her. Communication issues but he sounds like a bitch. He should go to counselling cuz he sounds like he sucks.

However, if she was insecure and controlling before then why get married? It sounds like she's losing it. Scorpio can't be with anyone who doesn't trust them, even if they are acting weirdly.

I asked him the same thing- if he knew about this or if she was like this prior to marriage. He said yes, and gave an example of something that was happening AFTER they got married, which is why I've been a little wtf.

And I agree, it does sound like their communication isn't the best.

Posted by wagtail
Are you concerned you may be pulled into mediating in a situation where you don't have the full story?
I think that's understandable but you shouldn't feel like you are caught in the middle, just keep doing what you're doing.
Be the vent friend and listen to their issues but don't pressure yourself too much...

I haven't been. It was a little overwhelming trying to juggle being honest with her without breaching his trust in me, but with so much conflicting information, I'm stepping back and only saying anything if either come to me first at this point.

Posted by Gobshite
He's probably flicked the 'love' switch off and doesn't care anymore.

After so much insecurity and paranoia from the Gemini, he probably gave up on the relationship without telling anyone. What you are experiencing is that Scorpio emotional shut-down, when they know a relationship is over.

The big question is, was he being completely faithful BEFORE he decided that the relationship was over for him?

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I was thinking the same thing. It just floored me that he'd being so cruel toward her in return. Your question is also one that has come to mind- why is he so hell bent on getting rid of her and ending it just before Valentine's? :/ But prior, he doesn't seem like the type to cheat.

Posted by Impulsv
Let's be real his behavior would make any women suspect n he's not taking responsibility for his behavior. He's got a side piece n like a coward is blaming gem so he can move on.
Is it a scorp thing nah. Don't be surprised when he all of a sudden presents a new gf.

Not gonna lie, this has come to mind. Only because of his sudden drastic change of hating her and wanting her out.

Combine that with his strange behavior in regard to the texts and there you go. :/

Who knows.

Posted by Impulsv
...
He's got a side piece n like a coward is blaming gem so he can move on.

+1

Thank you.


It reeks of sabotage.

Posted by truecap


I think you should be there for them to vent, listen, validate their feelings, but not to offer any advice or suggestions. And definitely do not to say something about the other. They're both right and they're both wrong. Nothing else you can do but listen. You're doing the right thing.

That's pretty much where I stand at the moment. But like I said, with all the conflicting info, I've gotten to the point where it's like I'm just throwing my hands up, "not it."

I have no doubts her behavior brought this on. I gotta give her props for admitting her flaws and wanting to work it out. I'm just not sure how many times she's been in this to "want to work it out" and he's just tired of giving chances.

However, at the same time, yes, his behavior isn't excusable and I feel bad for her since he's refused to do anything to help remedy things and conveniently left out his shady behavior. But I can't fault him for his frustrations either.


It's kinda funny (not "haha" funny) that when I met them and they decided that they were getting married that knowing they were a Gem/Scorp combo, I couldn't help but think "wow, how is THAT going to work out?" :/

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by LittleStar
You just hate Geminis.

Yes we can sometimes sabotage things, but everyone does in relationships at times. It's unfair to blame one side or the other.

There's something in life called a 'correlation'.

If you don't know the meaning, you can easily find it in a dictionary.

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I get what you're saying. I wasn't surprised when he would vent to me out of frustration because he was tired of being accused. I've known a lot of unstable Gem women who are notorious for making snap judgements/decisions based on little evidence. Combine that with air sign insecurity and voil??.

But when she gave me her side of things, it opened up a whole other can of worms in regard to perspective.

Something else I also forgot to mention is that he's gone as far as even blocking her on social media. I'm cool with the guy, but like you said, his behavior does leave a lot to be considered. You know something's up if his own mother is trying to get him to stop this extreme behavior. :/

Sometimes 2 people are thinking or handling a situation the wrong way. There doesn't always have to be only 1 culprit.

They're both handling their issues with insecurities & distrust the wrong way...and I say 'wrong way' b/c their own reactions & actions towards the other can be just as toxic and destructive to themselves as they are the other person.

He's hiding something. And a woman simply being insecure doesn't disguise or change the fact that he probably STILL IS hiding something lol Being insecure doesn't mean that you aren't street smart nor does it mean that your insticts stopped working. Everybody comes with an intuition...yes, even insecure girls do...and we mustn't forget that some women are so insecure b/c they're tired of their intuitions being correct! Some people wish they wouldn't have known, found out or been right b/c they convince themselves into believing that had they just been blind or 'trusting' that the relationship wouldn't have crumbled..

Problem is...once that seed is planted, there's no turning it off. Instincts don't turn off & on. Instincts are the 1 thing that disobey your heart/brain even when you're trying desperately to turn them off.

They're probably both right about each other. Of course he's defensive. He's hiding something. Crooks are some of the most defensive & hostile people on earth, although you'd think that defensiveness should belong more to the person being played. Sometimes the crook immediately parts ways b/c the gig is up...They only desire you for as long as you're blind. It's much easier to just start over with another victim.

Of course she doesn't trust him. The other problem is that she doesn't trust herself, which just leads to mental/emotional destruction of herself & a destruction of a relationship with a man that may not have even been on any sneaky shit at all!

It's best that they split ways.

Posted by Gobshite
He's probably flicked the 'love' switch off and doesn't care anymore....What you are experiencing is that Scorpio emotional shut-down, when they know a relationship is over.

Pretty much. What you're seeing now he felt and made up his mind about a while ago. Everyone else is just catching up, so it seems intense and more aggressive. He's been simmering.

How he's handle this...well reads as quite weak. I'd stay clear. It will escalate.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Something else I also forgot to mention is that he's gone as far as even blocking her on social media. I'm cool with the guy, but like you said, his behavior does leave a lot to be considered. You know something's up if his own mother is trying to get him to stop this extreme behavior. :/

I'm certainly not defending his awful behaviour but, unfortunately, Scorpios have a tendency of being extremely irrational (even destructive) when they feel they've been slighted.

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Oh, I know. It's one thing I absolutely hate about these individuals. They turn into childish, catty whiners who think they're in the right when they're far from it. The shitty part is that you get this type of reaction no matter how major/minor the infraction is. They're just too fucking full of themselves. I've had to deal with it with another Scorp friend and it's been enough for me to distance myself from him. I don't have time for such individuals in my life- hypocritical and childish when it comes to being wrong.

I heard from the Gem's Scorp today, actually. It's "getting on his nerves" that she's having a hard time finding a place to be out by the end of the month. It's just a major inconvenience to him.

While I'm sure things are tense around the house, the way he talks about it is starting to annoy me. She's clearly upset and floored that this is happening and finding a new place on such short notice has been stressful.

But for him it's "annoying" she hasn't found a place yet. She only started looking a week ago, for fuck's sake.

...who thinks like this? :/

He also shared a few other things with me that she's been doing. Honestly, they're both being effing retarded in how all of this is being handled. Typical Scorp and Gem bad behaviors.

I'm not even going to acknowledge their texts in regard to any of this any more.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Gobshite
He's probably flicked the 'love' switch off and doesn't care anymore....What you are experiencing is that Scorpio emotional shut-down, when they know a relationship is over.

Pretty much. What you're seeing now he felt and made up his mind about a while ago. Everyone else is just catching up, so it seems intense and more aggressive. He's been simmering.

How he's handle this...well reads as quite weak. I'd stay clear. It will escalate.

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I know he has. He's the one that made the declaration that the marriage wouldn't last another year...like 8 months ago.

But as others have pointed out, part of me can't help but wonder if he started checking out long before that and has something to hide because of it. The fact he acts so weird and shady about his phone says a lot. "She's gotten worse lately." Erm, if you were already declaring that this relationship would be done within a year, combined with her behavior getting worse, one can't help but wonder how much worse YOU were with your phone, dude. :/

They're both cool people, it's just shitty to see this happening to both of them. That's what bugs me the most about all of this.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

But for him it's "annoying" she hasn't found a place yet. She only started looking a week ago, for fuck's sake....

He's lucky she's looking at all.

If they're married, I don't think he can do that...

I mean, she can contest it.


Hope she gets a good lawyer. :/

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by rockyroadicecream

But for him it's "annoying" she hasn't found a place yet. She only started looking a week ago, for fuck's sake....

He's lucky she's looking at all.

If they're married, I don't think he can do that...

I mean, she can contest it.


Hope she gets a good lawyer. :/

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They're renting a place atm. It may depend on whose name is on the lease...

That's what I'm wondering. Why the hell so rushed to move her out? :/

Posted by Arielle83
You'll see what's up once she's out of there. She should probably get away from him. He sounds toxic and completely unsupportive and disrespectful.

"Today he told me that he hates me and that he's ready to start dating, so I need to leave."

He also started the shady phone behavior within the last month, apparently. I just hope she can find somewhere because she seriously fears she'll be living out of her car at this rate, which is kinda fucked. If I had the space, I'd totally let her stay here until she found a roommate situation. :/