Should I call? Or really, no contact...

Would love some advice...

My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago because we found that we "weren't on the same page" on some fundamental things. She wanted to remain friends and I said yes but I would need some time. I tried to move on and I was doing pretty well, kept myself busy, socially active, etc. I thought I had my head clear.

But every now and then I just found myself missing her. Should I call her and hope for a chance? I really don't know how she feels but she was quite determined a month ago.

To be honest to myself, I have not moved on. If I get back in touch with her I know I am hoping for something which means I can be disappointed and hurt. 😢

i say call. what do u have to lose?

Unless something has changed since you split, I wouldn't call. If are prepared to compromise on the 'fundamental things'sure call her. If not, what's changed? It's natural to miss someone who was a part of your life. It's only been a month which is not long. As time goes on you will think of her less and less. If you get back in touch without one or other of you being prepared to compromise on 'fundamental things'then you are only prolonging the agony for both of you.

You haven't really told us very much, so it's hard to say.

Some days I feel I am willing to compromise because she means so much to me. But other days I know if I wasn't happy before, I wouldn't be happy to compromise.

However, even if I am willing to compromise, I don't know if she still feels any chemistry. If I contact her only to find out she has completely given up, I know I will be disappointed again. Yes, as you said, it will only prolong the agony. I just feel torn.

As all these Dxp threads turn out you have decisions and not a life changing one. Kill you're fear and dial the numbers.

Just want to say thank you to all of you for your opinion. I sent her a text to wish her a good long weekend and said we could catch up next week. I feel good and at a point that I can let it go if it's not meant to be. 🙂

Have a good weekend all of you.

Congrats keep your head up.

Posted by viber

I really don't know how she feels but she was quite determined a month ago.

That quote was the closing summation of the Opening Post as it references her feelings towards you, which infers, from my deciphering abilities, that her determination a month ago, which was the time-frame of the break-up that she was adamant about the break-up. There would be no other reason for you to make that statement.

If a person doesn't want you, for whatever reason .... then have some pride and dignity, hold your head high and walk the fuck away.

AT this moment you are wallowing in rejection, which isn't love. You're not missing HER, you are missing being wanted .. don't conflate the two.

Had you been the one to break up with her ... your song would have a completely different tune.


Know yourself, above all else

Thanks for the advice P-Angel and Metoo.

A good point was brought up. I have to agree connecting with someone is the best way to move on. However, I always feel bad to date someone else before completely moved on because I worry there is a bit of rebound factor. Is it wrong to think that?

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by viber

I really don't know how she feels but she was quite determined a month ago.

That quote was the closing summation of the Opening Post as it references her feelings towards you, which infers, from my deciphering abilities, that her determination a month ago, which was the time-frame of the break-up that she was adamant about the break-up. There would be no other reason for you to make that statement.

If a person doesn't want you, for whatever reason .... then have some pride and dignity, hold your head high and walk the fuck away.

AT this moment you are wallowing in rejection, which isn't love. You're not missing HER, you are missing being wanted .. don't conflate the two.

Had you been the one to break up with her ... your song would have a completely different tune.


Know yourself, above all else

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pure gold. with sparkly encrusted diamonds

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you, let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
I mean, hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you, let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody who left.

The Bible said that they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us.
For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you.

And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go!

It doesn't mean that they are a bad person; it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when peoples' part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful,
and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.

Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!