beautifulsoul74
@beautifulsoul74
13 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 122 · Posts: 5590 · Topics: 41
Spiritual Panhandling and Loving
Please provide a concrete example. It will help us offer more relevant and perhaps helpful responses.
Sounds like you're asking us how we'd go about resolving the issue of "giving too much"? Well, if this is the question, I'd say first we have to identify the signs that we're giving more than we have. Those signs might be different for every person, but in any case, they'll disrupt our normal everyday functioning. It might be when we or others can see physical evidence that we are not caring for ourselves as we normally would. Maybe we look more tired than usual, maybe we suddenly stop doing the things we enjoy doing most, etc. Those make it clear that it's time to take a break. A time out, so to speak. Retreat from any overwhelming stress or pressure in order to reflect, regroup, and plan for the future. Plan to communicate. The health and maintenance of all relationships rest on the strength of the partner's efforts and willingness to communicate- communicate needs and empathy.
Ahhh, I'm going on a rant. Let me pause for a moment.
Sounds like you're asking us how we'd go about resolving the issue of "giving too much"? Well, if this is the question, I'd say first we have to identify the signs that we're giving more than we have. Those signs might be different for every person, but in any case, they'll disrupt our normal everyday functioning. It might be when we or others can see physical evidence that we are not caring for ourselves as we normally would. Maybe we look more tired than usual, maybe we suddenly stop doing the things we enjoy doing most, etc. Those make it clear that it's time to take a break. A time out, so to speak. Retreat from any overwhelming stress or pressure in order to reflect, regroup, and plan for the future. Plan to communicate. The health and maintenance of all relationships rest on the strength of the partner's efforts and willingness to communicate- communicate needs and empathy.
Ahhh, I'm going on a rant. Let me pause for a moment.
Posted by Ellybean
Beautifully written.
Honestly, I have had a lot of time as a Spiritual Panhandler myself. It sucks. Lol. I attach a lot of shame to myself because of it, and punish myself or perceive others to be punishing me when in actuality they aren't. It's a long road, and I feel that I am having to grow twice as slow now for the responsibility I refused in the past. You fall far, far backwards and its frustrating to know so much but ultimately so very little at the exact same time.
I'm sure it makes no sense. But, I have all these answers in my mind from many diverse and in-depth teachings(taught on a personal level), but they are only as real to me as someone who can repeat the time tables but once they get up past the twelves they can't multiple a thing because they don't know the hows and whys.
Its ok Elly. I understsnd what you went through. 🙂
To clarify things. I'm looking at it from the view of people who form a bond mainly to extract from others. Selfish intentions. Of course we lean on people in times of hardship. But I'm wondering about sole purposes. Narcissism and things of that nature.
Posted by ScorpSuperior
Please provide a concrete example. It will help us offer more relevant and perhaps helpful responses.
Sounds like you're asking us how we'd go about resolving the issue of "giving too much"? Well, if this is the question, I'd say first we have to identify the signs that we're giving more than we have. Those signs might be different for every person, but in any case, they'll disrupt our normal everyday functioning. It might be when we or others can see physical evidence that we are not caring for ourselves as we normally would. Maybe we look more tired than usual, maybe we suddenly stop doing the things we enjoy doing most, etc. Those make it clear that it's time to take a break. A time out, so to speak. Retreat from any overwhelming stress or pressure in order to reflect, regroup, and plan for the future. Plan to communicate. The health and maintenance of all relationships rest on the strength of the partner's efforts and willingness to communicate- communicate needs and empathy.
Ahhh, I'm going on a rant. Let me pause for a moment.
Gotcha. But what about in situations where its all give and all take? How long do you stay? At what point do you cut the other person off and leave? If you leave, does it mean that you're not loving unconditionally? These are the questions I'm mainly driving at.
At EllyBean:
Thank you for your comment about my writing. Sometimes I'm like "screw it" and roll with the typos because of autocorrect.
Thank you for your comment about my writing. Sometimes I'm like "screw it" and roll with the typos because of autocorrect.
Posted by Theultra79
I think most people who are honest with themselves have spiritually panhandled. ?? I have for sure. ??My spirit has also been leeched from. ??
The guilt I felt from doing that led me to take some time to myself. ??For a year I made an oath to myself not to date anyone, not to talk to any guys on the phone, nothing. ??I was also very limited in my interactions with friends. ??
I was determined to not always feel like I "needed" somebody else. ??It was hard at first to go to the movies alone, eat out alone, to just BE alone with myself and my thoughts and feelings. ??But it was so worth it. ??
It feels soooo much better to just be at home with myself. ??I think we should all learn how to be at peace with ourselves. ?? ??Now it sometimes feels like a hassle to bring others into my plans. ??There's a freedom in knowing you can enjoy yourself by yourself and it's kind of addicting.
A loner libra. ??Lol. ??Imagine that 🙂
🙂
Posted by Bohemianrhapsody74
Pluck the Suckers - Gardening Advice
A friend while showing me the thick stalks of a tomato plant began plucking the tiny leaves which shot out from the joints.
"Those are suckers," he explained. "They look healthy, but they draw sun and nourishment away from the fruit. Suckers stunt the growth of the whole plant. Get rid of them right away so that the nutrients can reach the tomatoes."
A parallel in life - - - How many attractive seemingly good things use up my energy and time until I am depleted and unable to produce beautiful fruit. I pray for the wisdom to recognize the "suckers" in my life so that I may pluck them away to flourish and grow from my heart. Sometimes the good can keep us away from the best.
This is exactly what I'm driving at BR74. What are your thoughts on solving this problem?
Posted by Bohemianrhapsody74Posted by SweetLibraPosted by Bohemianrhapsody74
Beautifully written. I think this says it all so well. Thank you for posting this 🙂.
Thank you Sweet Libra..I thought this was a very nice thread..Thank you Beautiful Soul 🙂click to expand
You're welcome Ms Rhapsody 🙂
Posted by Bohemianrhapsody74
Pluck the Suckers - Gardening Advice
A friend while showing me the thick stalks of a tomato plant began plucking the tiny leaves which shot out from the joints.
"Those are suckers," he explained. "They look healthy, but they draw sun and nourishment away from the fruit. Suckers stunt the growth of the whole plant. Get rid of them right away so that the nutrients can reach the tomatoes."
A parallel in life - - - How many attractive seemingly good things use up my energy and time until I am depleted and unable to produce beautiful fruit. I pray for the wisdom to recognize the "suckers" in my life so that I may pluck them away to flourish and grow from my heart. Sometimes the good can keep us away from the best.
LOVE IT, so freaking true 🙂
Posted by Bohemianrhapsody74Posted by beautifulsoul74Posted by Bohemianrhapsody74
Pluck the Suckers - Gardening Advice
This is exactly what I'm driving at BR74. What are your thoughts on solving this problem?click to expand
Emotional Vampires are everywhere they only feed off you if you allow them too!
I was soon to learn that there is fine line between compromise & loss of identity. We often have an urge to merge with one we love so completely , we lose touch with our true self. Indeed most of what society tells us is that to be a good person we should put ourselves second, or third, or wherever the number falls, to those we love. Yet countless times that backfires. The person we gave the most of ourselves away to, rejects us & we are left singular. There are countless reasons why people gow apart. But underneath them all , is the fact we ourselves have stopped growing into whom we are meant to be completely. Some call this sacrifice & are quite willing to do it to be loved. So that when one relationship ends, we quickly put ourselves out there to find the ONE. All the while leaving pieces of ourselves strewn along the path. For many that is the way of it. They accept it as a great journey with many stops along the way. And there is something to be said about what each person teaches us, reveals to us about ourselves. Yet there is even more to learn about why we attach so much importance on Others, when it is ourselves we always wind up with.Whether we choose to stay within the bounds of our relationship & try to make it last or recreate the joy from when it began , or simply acccept the stages it evolves into , or whether we break free from it, we still our left with ourselves.
There are those that will say perhaps I like myself a bit too much. That I therefore will not find love. But in truth I now KNOW who I am. I know that I will continue to grow. But I like the person I have become, enough to not settle for anything or anyone that cannot accept all of me, in all ways. I do not go out looking for a person to complete me. I live my life my way. Whether there is a person out there that wishes to walk the Path with me or not, I keep going forward. I know that what I want differs from what many others do. Instead of a relationship I want
Got cut off lol.
BR74...no truer words have been spoken. 🙂 That is recognition of worth in a nutshell.
BR74...no truer words have been spoken. 🙂 That is recognition of worth in a nutshell.
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Balance between them: While one should never stop loving and giving, there is a point to where one has given too much. They must "love at a distance."
I have my thoughts, but I'm interested in hearing the thoughts of others. How do we solve this problem. My solution is to disrupt the balance and move towards the positive. It will take each of us in an individual effort to change things.