Men + Rebounds

Gentlemen, please gather around!

This has always been a rather difficult subject to breach with my male friends, difficult to explain etc. So being such communicative writers here, indulge me a little 🙂

- In your mind what differentiates a Rebound as compared to a Relationship?

- How do you treat the respective girls differently?

- Would a girl be able to tell if she is a Rebound or a Girlfriend? If not, how would you advise her about the red flags?

Posted by everevolvingepithet
- In your mind what differentiates a Rebound as compared to a Relationship?
Heart, good conversation and all that compared to just trying to get drunks and get laid loads

- How do you treat the respective girls differently?
If you treat them as individuals/as they are, that would happen quite naturally anyways.

- Would a girl be able to tell if she is a Rebound or a Girlfriend? If not, how would you advise her about the red flags?
Trying to hit it and quit it (although if you haven't had any in a while then you can't fault the persons logic).

Hello there Bling 🙂

I can't possibly understand what you're writing, are you on Libran mode or the Stinger one?

Posted by DazedScorp
I don't rebound.

I take the time to heal after a breakup, understand why it didn't work, fix what might be wrong with myself, and then try again when ready.

It's taken me two years so far.

Kudos to you Dazed, I guess there is hope still.

So no rebounds, but what of flings/affairs/or whatever you may call them? Do you go on complete abstinence on all fronts?

Posted by everevolvingepithet
?
I thought that post was concise. What part confuses you?

It was concise, possibly too concise, so much so that I couldn't understand it, or perhaps I am just not processing information correctly lately in my head.

The 2nd and 3rd question confused me.

Posted by DazedScorp
I don't rebound.

I take the time to heal after a breakup, understand why it didn't work, fix what might be wrong with myself, and then try again when ready.

It's taken me two years so far.

+1. Almost a year for me

It comes a point in time when a man(or woman) realizes that rebounds or a new relationship right after a break up is not healing. It actually prolongs the pain.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
It comes a point in time when a man(or woman) realizes that rebounds or a new relationship right after a break up is not healing. It actually prolongs the pain.

If only more men would see the reality and realize this sooner...

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by everevolvingepithet
- In your mind what differentiates a Rebound as compared to a Relationship?
Heart, good conversation and all that compared to just trying to get drunks and get laid loads

- How do you treat the respective girls differently?
If you treat them as individuals/as they are, that would happen quite naturally anyways.

- Would a girl be able to tell if she is a Rebound or a Girlfriend? If not, how would you advise her about the red flags?
Trying to hit it and quit it (although if you haven't had any in a while then you can't fault the persons logic).

Hello there Bling 🙂

I can't possibly understand what you're writing, are you on Libran mode or the Stinger one?

click to expand

Translation: Bling, you didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, so therefore, I insist on not understanding a word you say. Now, tell me what I want to hear, and I will then be able to understand what you write.

Posted by Sneaky
I never rebound and was never the rebound. Plenty of guys don't rebound either, they just don't go around announcing it.

As far as can a woman or anyone for that matter can tell if they are just a rebound, I would say it's fairly easy to tell. People who need a rebound don't tend to treat their rebounds as normally and equally as they treat everyone else. Its not rocket science.

True WB, not rocket science and one of those things my mind may be picking a part unnecesssarily or I just may be asking completely incorrect questions as compared to what I have in my head...a verbal/mental mishap

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by everevolvingepithet
- In your mind what differentiates a Rebound as compared to a Relationship?
Heart, good conversation and all that compared to just trying to get drunks and get laid loads

- How do you treat the respective girls differently?
If you treat them as individuals/as they are, that would happen quite naturally anyways.

- Would a girl be able to tell if she is a Rebound or a Girlfriend? If not, how would you advise her about the red flags?
Trying to hit it and quit it (although if you haven't had any in a while then you can't fault the persons logic).

Hello there Bling 🙂

I can't possibly understand what you're writing, are you on Libran mode or the Stinger one?

Translation: Bling, you didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, so therefore, I insist on not understanding a word you say. Now, tell me what I want to hear, and I will then be able to understand what you write.

click to expand

Greetings to Madame Fishtail/Mrs.Know-it-all,

...Or an alternative suggestion to your translation, it may just be a verbal/mental mishap.

After all translations if done unprofessionally, could lead to variations, open to interpretation, after all it could be a matter of perspectives too 🙂

Posted by DazedScorp
I don't rebound.

I take the time to heal after a breakup, understand why it didn't work, fix what might be wrong with myself, and then try again when ready.

This.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
It comes a point in time when a man(or woman) realizes that rebounds or a new relationship right after a break up is not healing. It actually prolongs the pain.

And this.

Posted by LIBRA1234
From what he told me, he was seeing her once a week for sex only. They would talk only when they were ready to meet and if she was smart she would see he was not into anything serious. I mean 4 months, meeting only for sex once a week and never said anything lovey dovey, that doesnt sound like relationship potential to me...

Lol, you don't sound convinced at all.

But what if the next relationship is rebound and you don't even realize it? I suppose these girls would be treated well, but what if after-the-fact you realized it was a rebound. Would there be any signs and symptoms? Such as in hindsight looking back how you may have treated her differently?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Gentlemen, please gather around!

This has always been a rather difficult subject to breach with my male friends, difficult to explain etc. So being such communicative writers here, indulge me a little 🙂

- In your mind what differentiates a Rebound as compared to a Relationship?

- How do you treat the respective girls differently?

- Would a girl be able to tell if she is a Rebound or a Girlfriend? If not, how would you advise her about the red flags?

No one relaizes it going in. The best I can think to describe it is that a rebound reltionship is one where you let something big slide because doing so provided instant attention.

Here is the libra in me stripping all emotion out of it but this is what it is.
You break up with someone
You feel a little lonely and maybe your ego takes a hit.
You go out and run into someone who makes you feel better right away.

Before taking the time to get to know someone you find your self in a relationship that has no real potential for anything. It's a rebound because it provides the good feelings associated with a good relationship without requiring the work to get there. When you're first out of a relationship you gotta get your head back together. Jumping stright into someone else's drama before you get yours handled is where the rebound bouncing stuff comes from. if you don't have your foundation set it's a waste of time to start building.

Part of me feels like the vast majority of the dating pool is simply looking for their next rebound relationship...

- In your mind what differentiates a Rebound as compared to a Relationship?
A rebound for me is a mutual understanding that we are just killing time while a relationship to me needs building and every date, every sexual encounter is building layers of mutual affection.

- How do you treat the respective girls differently?
That all depends. I respect both to the fullest, i know that the
rebound is just that and i wont go into all the details about myself and my life because that sends mixed signals.

- Would a girl be able to tell if she is a Rebound or a Girlfriend? If not, how would you advise her about the red flags?
Yes. A girlfriend gets to come to family gatherings and stuff like that. While a rebound gets limited access to the family.

For me its all about being open and honest about my intentions. That line between gf and rebound is a razor's edge that if not made clear, can cause pain for you or them.

If you cant tell where you stand, then you are probably in rebound territory.