Steve Harvey - Act like a lady think like a man

Just finished reading this and found some very interesting information. 2 things I took particular interest in...

Getting the respect you deserve - The ninety Day rule

In which he states that you shouldn't dish out "the cookie" until after the 90 day period. Certainly makes sense! Find out everything you want to know about your man before going down that track and also what his intentions are for you etc etc...

**discuss**


A man shows LOVE in 3 ways Profess, Provide & Protect.

1.He Professess his love by giving you a title if he is interested in you ie: gf, my lady
2.Provides for you (self explanatry)
3.Protects you


Strong Independent & Lonely women - Taking away from him the need to provide.

Whilst a lot of guys say they want a strong independent woman he states that if there is no need to provide then he's going to feel that he can't fulfil his part as a man.

Providing is not just in the financial sense but also in allowing him to do the manly thing like moving heavy furniture, taking care of the outside, lawns gardens etc or even paying for dinner regardless of whether you earn more than him or not.

He wants to treat you like a lady and be the man...

*QUOTE* We are trained providers & you are trained to look for that in us. If a woman has a bad habit of throwing a mans deficiencies in his face he's going to struggle with not being the provider and shes going to feel like his ego is getting in the way of her happiness. So how do we get through this? Don't give up your money, job or education...just be a lady!
Oh I can hear the collective teeth sucking-it's that loud, as a police siren and helicopter whir in Crompton-I can see the universal arm folding and eyebrow raising as well. But you're getting hot and bothered by what I'm saying isnt going to change the fact that men no matter what their financial situation, background, social status, want their women to let them take care of them. And I say you defiant ones, go ahead & act like this isn't important if you want to but the women who accept that it's ok to let the guy take the lead sometimes are going to win. So do you want a man or not?

We get that you've got plenty of money to pay for dinner but sit there and let him pick up the tab, that's what he is suppose to do when he takes a woman on a date. Yes you are independent and can take the trash out or hang the pictures but if you put your finger in your mouth and act

like you havent a clue or the strength to do it, you man will step right in and handle it for you-with a smile if you add a hearty, "Baby thank you for doing this for me-I dont know what I'd do without you"


Anyway, i found alot of what he had to say rather enlightening. Particularly since I dont need a man to "Provide" for me in anyway but I'm sure to "Act" a little less independent when I next meet someone I want around for a bit. I do believe the last two guys that I had around felt un-needed. And the 90 day rule is something alot of ladies on this forum should take into consideration!

Oh I hope I'm not sounding too Gemgalish—!?!?!😛

lol, no you're not sounding that way ..... and to touch on that for a sec ... there's nothign wrong with GemGal going through those motions, eventhough it got tiresome to us having to keep reiterating to her ...... because at least she was willing to "look" at the possibility that something is amiss in her world, even if this something kept evading her awareness. Considering most people have absolutely no clue a cliff is ahead .. and keep falling off the same one over and over and cannot figure out why they get hurt.



To topic .... I need men to provide to me. Well, maybe not men, but, ***somebody*** and since I prefer men over women, this somebody would be male.

No matter how strong and indepedent I think I am .... I am still in need to be emotionally nurtured by my partner ... and if a part of my partners actions to show me that he is with me emotionally is by providing for my well being and comfort and happiness ..... then I need him to do these things for me.

There appears to be a misunderstanding in what this means .. and I don't mean you, specifically sweets, rather, just in general for women. And I think Harvey was alluding to it.


People think too materialistically, literally .... to provide isn't a physical/material thing, such as taking out the trash, paying for dinner, etc. Those things are only ((((actions)))) that are a representation the man is giving to her to show her his feelings are in place. Men are physical creatures ... this is nature, we cannot change this. That doesn't mean that they cannot be emotional, it means that they will think in terms of actions rather than feelings when it comes to providing his woman with what she needs to feel secure.

And same in reverse, you know (those this concept escapes most women) .... when a guy needs us to be physical for him, to show him how we feel (because they are physical creatures and need the 'show me in actions') .... we attempt to make them females by refusing to nurture them the way they need and get all emotionally sappy.


Women are the double-standard people, and not the men .... did you know that?

Yes I'm still learning...but more open to personal change and one thing that has always bothered me is someone paying for me. Even so far as my gf pointing out she has noticed I wont allow them too either. Hmmm something I can try and work on and NOT feel I have to give something back in return.

Also learnt from my ex to do things for myself whether it be the heavy lifting or moving around of furniture etc because if I had to wait on him to do it for me then I'd be old & grey before it happened or I'd be nagging all the time. So I became Ms Independent that doesnt need anyone to do for me.

Oh wouldn't it be nice to have someone around to do some of that stuff!!!

All in all this is a GREAT book to read, very easy reading too.

Hey Star, the ninety day rule chapter should be posted here for a few of these girls to read...Particularly a few of the ones that hang out in the Libran forum! I dont frequent all the signs but I guess there'd be a few in all of them!

I loved the book. It is so right. There is a difference between independent women, and women who think they're "super women". don't need, want, or won't do shit for anybody. So annoying and they wonder y they're alone.

Screw "the rules". I will not act like anything other then myself. I will be accepted the way I am and vise versa. Why in the hell would you want to be with someone if all you want them to do is "act" like anything other then themselves? Kinda defeats the purpose doesn't it?

Wants and needs are totally different things. I can do well on my own but I chose to love someone and invite him into my life. I'll not depend on anyone else for my happiness and I won't follow anyone's "rules". Ugh.

Aries has said before that if I weren't as independant as I am it's doubtful he'd have taken me seriously. When he and I first started talking (he was in NC at his base and I was here in the Midwest) he was dogging around. I was just his " style ". *shrug* Every one has different taste. I believe there is someone who will accept you for YOU not how you "should" act and come across for his or her sake.