Taking the power/control back

How can someone get the control back in a relationship? i mean emotional control...

how do you turn around the hold other person has on your feelings....? i mean to an extent that both are happy.

i think you can't control other's feelings/emotions because love is a free will. the only thing you have control over is your own feelings and thoughts.

I think emotional control is not possible and even if it is, not fair. But you can make the other side to "realise about your presense". I find it in being judgemental and to the point speech. Just like Saggitarius.

and if someone is not willing to invest their emotions with you by sharing the love you have for them, i think you're in trouble.

Yeah vgurl is right. If they refuse to accept your presense and listen your terms, well, your time has come...

but when you love someone you let them control your feeling as it feels like it...i am talking about how do you get that control over your own emotions back....not someone else.

its about taking care of yourself.....making sure you can survive when they leave.

By understanding that what you feel is yours.

When you love someone, the feeling of love comes from within, not from them. When you nourish your love, this is what makes you happy. Never it comes from outside. You are never in love with that real person. You are always in love with your perception about him which is always within your head. Not his.

If your so called "object of love" which is actually only your perception brakes your trust, you leave this person not the perception of him. You can still be happy with your perception of him and feel love, but that person is not that real person anymore. It's imaginary.

I think this is getting a bit deep....

all i am trying to say is....if you know thing might not work out how do you prepare yourself? how do you get to the point where if the person leave it will not hurt so much that u cant cop....

for example.....no contact? being unavailable....and making them value you-how?

There is no defence for that. It's a life reality. Deal with it.

Actually where you stay is funny. You have got involved in to the level that the other side seems not appretiate and respect. People usually call such behaviour as "clingy". If you unsure about what person think about you or this situation, then you are unsure. Not "I'm in love" or "I hate him" or some other shit, it's simple as that; you are unsure and it will be like that until you get 100% response about this from him. If you have filled with belief that wasnt confirmed from his side, then it's your fault. You simply can't blame others for your own faults.

i don't think there's something wrong with being clingy to the person you love. it becomes wrong when the person is taken for granted by the other person and not appreciated at all.

.. for reasons, i don't know the answers ..they most likely have alot of shortcomings in their relationship ..unless it's been talked about or compromised, this void/gap will only keep two people apart

I am so glad that i became a member....i use to read here a lot but never signed up....but you guys n gals are amazing thank you so much.

I can totally related to the parrot n genie story....i feel just like that.

I dont deny that i am clingy....but then whats a partner for....i am will to give the same back.

Its hard to keep myself away....i need to be strong enough to ignore when he contacts me. Move away slowly....easier said than done....hummmm...

control...stand up for urself - live for urself - u control your own life and ur happiness - when u realise that then u will regain control of ur emotions and u won't feel so vulnerable