Trying to Figure it out...

Im at a point where I am not completely sold on the point of even trying to have a long term relationship. I know this sounds like a dumb question but Im not seeing any benefits or things a relationship can add that I cant provide myself in this day and age.

I have plenty of friends (intimacy)
I can support myself
Anyone can get sex..well women and some men
And I have no kids.. nor am I interested in creating any so a family unit really doesnt interest me right now

So are the only reasons people get into relationships is because.. everyone else does it, and its just what you do.... religious reasons... for the kids or to have kids.... ..Ionno whats goin on I use to be such a romantic.. now im like yeah all thats cool.. but in a world filled with such impermanence.. whats the point..

Enjoy your single youth while you still have it! Please, please don't even try to have a long term relationship while you are so young. Nihilist is right...love can really hurt! And you are way too young to be able to deal with it well. Not that being older is much easier, but going through experiences that shape us in our twenties will help you later on in life. There is NO rush, but I know the feeling of being rushed because that's what we are suppose to do...whatever! Who says??!!
When you are still single and living it up, your married/committed friends will ultimately be jealous in ways they won't even understand. Take your time...cherish this important span of your life. I wish I could have mine back. I'd do it completely different.

i completely agree with ramfishtwins. right now, you might not feel the need to be in a committed relationship and there's nothing wrong with that. live your life for you and find your own happiness.

Life is what is happening while you're making other plans.




Don't be so busy worrying about what might be, or what you might want or not want, or exerting your energy trying to figure out what other people are doing and why ..... for every second you have your mind bound to caging your heart because of ... what if ...

... is the real life passing you by, because you're too busy worried about that to live.

Amen P-Angel! Amen!

Being single.. is fun and I feel free and happy.. lol as corny as that sounds. If I meet someone who gives me that allows me to be all those things..then ok but until then...Im gonna fly solo.

Being single.. is fun and I feel free and happy.. lol as corny as that sounds. If I meet someone who gives me that allows me to be all those things..then ok but until then...Im gonna fly solo.


Nothing wrong with that, I'm there after a twenty year marriage and also have thought your thoughts on do I really want to have another long term relationship. I ponder these thoughts when I feel the need to be cuddled but remember how hard it can be in a relationship and that's enough for me to see how happy I am now!

I look at it like this, it's not that I'm lonely but sometimes I find myself alone and I do like to have people around alot🙂

Well I can completely understand & agree with a woman who doesn't feel she needs a man to be fulfilled. I think alot of how society views the important of relationships rubs off on the average woman who's just trying to live. I do think it's possible & rational to not see the big glitz & glamor of being in a relationship, AS LONG as bitterness, fear & harping over the past are NOT your reasons for making that choice.

Alot of these young girls now a days have been pressured by society to get into relationships and/or atleast be able to say that you've got somebody. And the problem is that the pressure to atleast have someone to call your "own" was never introduced along with having standards & being intelligent in who you pick as your partner. Alot of girls only saw the big picture of atleast having someone, thus ending up in these horrible relationships & as a species, naturally seeking something she's not even sure or not if she can't live w/o. And men they follow the standards women have set & b/c they too aren't always capable and/or mature enough for the real things, it's understandable that for some people relationships seem so over-rated b/c of how much quality, love & sincereness is NOT being put into the average relationship.

It's more rare now-days to see horrible relationships & bad break ups more than it is to see a good, long-standing relationship that we all feel will last. And I think just like the pressure to have a man has rubbed off on women, I think the reality that relationships end off in heartbreak is also something that has rubbed off too

To me, being lonely is a STATE of mind. And you wanna know how I know this? B/c you can have a man & a house full of kids & friends and yet STILL feel all alone & like your void hasn't yet been filled.
I don't think techincally having a penis in your life is the answer to true happiness.

You can get your intimacy from friends, yourself & from casual sex partners (even though too many can easily have you feeling just as lonely).

You can get your sense of support & being admired from alot of different people & things as well

Other than a penis, relationships & men provide so many things that others (that don't necessarily have to be titled as your companion) can give.

Now on the other hand, do I think relationships are pointless? Yes, if they are established with the right person. But by any means necessary, if you find the right person & are mature & as self-aware as need be, then they can be the most rewarding, just like kids can. Kids can be so much of a blessing, BUT only when you see it that way. And I feel the same about relationships.

It's no different than people who don't believe in God or in religion. Just b/c they don't have a religion doesn't mean that they are cold, killers or are incapable of loving. If anything, atheist are some of the most sweet, caring & conscious-having people in the world, without the religion.

And it's no different than poor people. Being poor has nothing to do with your happiness, unless you set the key to your own happiness to money & financial status. Some of the most kind-hearted, willing-to-do-anything-for-you, & wouldn't-hurt-a-soul individuals are those who are homeless or are disadvantaged or poor. So it shows that just b/c you chose not to have something, it doesn't always/necessarily mean that b/c you don't have it, you are not normal. It's possible. And the same goes for relationships. If you chose not to have a companion b/c you are fully okay & satisfied with everyone in your life as a whole giving you all your needs, then that's fine. And the same goes for those who seek companionship b/c they want someone who compliments their happiness. I think the problem is that people got the idea that having a relationship means that person replacing who you are versus just complimenting who you already are.

When I look at the people who don't take relationships & commitment seriously, yes sometimes I find myself feeling like the whole "love" thing is over-rated. But then again, there's always those couples who actually DO take commitment to one person (and getting most of their needs from just 1 person) who just as quickly flip flop that thought

ok. while i agree that u are young and u don't need to be in long-term relationships, avoiding the pain that can come with being in love does not necessarily do anyone any good. it's good to add to the experience. sure, u have the maturity factor but we all learned how to deal with love and relationships by throwing ourselves into them and learning by experience. i neither condone nor condemn u from them. just go with the flow. if ur not into it, then ur not into it right now. try not to go into any relationship with pre-conceived notions. besides, we don't get the option of when, or with whom, we fall in love. no matter what path ur on now, it tends to happen when u least expect it.