When the honeymoon phase is over...

When the honeymoon phase is over, you wake up and realize that his dirty socks will always be there and your morning breath is not that romantic and that his guys trip to Vegas will not be cancelled and that you still like to go out to the bars without him and that his ex is still lingering around and that you are still talking to some of your old flings just to be entertained and that his —I'm saving money?? was a cover up for —I'm cheap?? and that your —I like to have sex all the time?? was a cover up for —I'm so insecure that I need to feel you inside of me all the time?? and that his farts do not smell that great and are not as funny anymore and that your way of cleaning kitchen is a complete opposite of his and that he hates your dysfunctional family and you hate him for having a perfect one.
When all of that doses off on you, that's when the real deal starts (that is if both of you are still in for a ride).

Feel free to elaborate on your expriences with honeymoon phase and the tragic end of it...

Hi Bells!!! 😄 Good to see you (typing)! 🙂

Nothing really happened just was thinking how in the beginning relationship seems so great to me at least and the other person seems amazing, but then when the pink glasses are off, I'm like "Wait! This is not what I signed up for!"
Like ian said and I believe it to be true for me, is that people do it to themselves because they are so caught up in acting perfect in the beginning that they don't even notice other person's flaws....

The Honeymoon phase.... actually happens in every sort of relationship. The length varies.

I remember a distinct honeymoon type phase when I got a job driving for a concrete ready mix company. Unlike most ready mix businesses, this one was rather slow and the eight or so drivers usually only ran four loads each every day... so there was a lot of time to sit in the drivers room reading the newspaper... and chit-chat with the other drivers... The honeymoon phase in that case was just getting to know all the other drivers, them getting to know me... them telling their stories... me telling mine... till eventually after a few months, there were no more stories to tell, lol... then we would only comment on current events. Good bunch of dudes overall really... funny that we often chatted like a bunch of old ladies.

In a relationship with a mate tho... that's a weird one and must have an evolutionary root. In my case for instance, with that Cancer gal I was with for so many years... when we finally moved in together, the honeymoon lasted for several years. She'd often sit in my lap... which would hurt after awhile (she was a big gal) but was still sexy. We made love a lot... but eventually the desire to lessened... at least for me. I still loved her and she me... we still got along great... but the desire got less and less. I don't know why and wish I did. I wish there was a way to keep it the way it was, as I have mentioned in other posts here... but eventually is just dropped off. Even tho I still desired sex two to three times a week, I got bored to the point that I would only approach her once a week... then eventually once a month... I can only compare it to eating the same food every time... no matter how much you like that food, eventually it gets so boring that you avoid it more and more..

Continues:

Frequency... when me and Cancer gal started out, we did it three times a day on average... but after a year or so together... once each lovemaking session was all I could muster... tho she still had 5-7 orgasms per.

When I fooled around on her in 1997, I was able to do it three times a day again with that gal... tho we only met once or twice a month. That ended in 1998.

Now I'm with this new Taurus gal, I'm amazed that again... I not only want to, but my body responds... that I can easily do it once a day, and would like to do it twice or more, but have to go easy on her since it's been a LONG time ... (two years) for her... but wow... where does all this stamina come from—

Ok... about now, the original poster is saying... "all you can talk about is sex— I meant the relationship as a whole!!!". Ok, here's why I'm focusing so much on sex... it's because once I feel comfortable with a woman, it's all good... I know pretty much from the start what her faults are... what mine are... if she snores, farts, is a poor house keeper etc.... but tho I may seem to be very sex driven... if I have accepted her from the start... those annoying things are not what ends the honeymoon for me. If I like her, I'll continue to like her... maybe forever. I still like my Cancer ex... she's a nice lady -shrug-. What ends the honeymoon for me, is when I start to lose sexual interest... and I wish I didn't.. couldn't... never .... I wish there was some way to keep it always fresh. But I think it has something to do with evolution. Our bodies rule us... we try to force our minds to rule, and are sometimes successful... but other times, our bodies win. Our base nature, our bodies do what they have to do to spread our genes around and propagate the species. Our minds battling our bodies is the source of most of our inter-relationship problems as humans...

Posted by FeistyAquarian
Maybe the best thing I have done with my relationship was be honest from the get-go. I put him through some tough times in the beginning and vice-versa! Who says the honeymoon phase needs to end anyway?? 😛 Sometimes, it just needs a vacation too!

A vacation... indeed. Well put. Absence makes the heart grow fonder they say? Maybe when I started getting REALLY bored... I should have gone back to being an OTR driver... so I'd only see her once every seven days or so... maybe that would have saved our relationship??

Bella, will you be my traveling partner? 😉

it's only natural... but we can do something about it too. i think there's some primal connection as to why we go through it. that 3 month period is plenty of time to get on with the sexy times and procreate! so everyone prances around like a peacock, showing off their brightest of colors, to hook them and reel them in. it stops because, as modern day humans, we typically want more than that. we could stop this nonsense if we just lay it all out from the beginning. one has to know themselves first...

When the honeymoon phase is over with me and my hubby, I would drench him in pure honey and lick him up to spice it up again!

The important thing is to realize we are not perfect and neither are they, and we can choose to work it out or not.

Posted by Ferghus Clydelover
Frequency... when me and Cancer gal started out, we did it three times a day on average... but after a year or so together... once each lovemaking session was all I could muster... tho she still had 5-7 orgasms per.

When I fooled around on her in 1997, I was able to do it three times a day again with that gal... tho we only met once or twice a month. That ended in 1998.

Now I'm with this new Taurus gal, I'm amazed that again... I not only want to, but my body responds... that I can easily do it once a day, and would like to do it twice or more, but have to go easy on her since it's been a LONG time ... (two years) for her... but wow... where does all this stamina come from—

Ok... about now, the original poster is saying... "all you can talk about is sex— I meant the relationship as a whole!!!". Ok, here's why I'm focusing so much on sex... it's because once I feel comfortable with a woman, it's all good... I know pretty much from the start what her faults are... what mine are... if she snores, farts, is a poor house keeper etc.... but tho I may seem to be very sex driven... if I have accepted her from the start... those annoying things are not what ends the honeymoon for me. If I like her, I'll continue to like her... maybe forever. I still like my Cancer ex... she's a nice lady -shrug-. What ends the honeymoon for me, is when I start to lose sexual interest... and I wish I didn't.. couldn't... never .... I wish there was some way to keep it always fresh. But I think it has something to do with evolution. Our bodies rule us... we try to force our minds to rule, and are sometimes successful... but other times, our bodies win. Our base nature, our bodies do what they have to do to spread our genes around and propagate the species. Our minds battling our bodies is the source of most of our inter-relationship problems as humans...

sounds like too much sex....

Posted by buttercupSG
i'm gonna talk about love - L.O.V.E. k? lol



there is always this pain mixing with happiness when i think of him. it can be a real pain sometimes it's like something i cannot touch or scratch away it's always there every waking sec. it's driving me nuts at times especially when i need to concentrate to get things done. it does not make sense. it does not matther whether i just saw him him or how often i see him even when my independent nature tell me clearly that i need alone time when we spend too much time together as soon as he walks out of the door i feel the damn pain again.


i'd be concerned if this pain lasts. the weird thing is i miss him more and more each day. a P.A.I.N.

I don't think it's healthy to feel the way you described. And if it is, I'd rather be a selfish bitch than put myself thru that kind of torture. IMO there shouldn't be any pain when the person is right for you.