ReallyNiceAriesPerson
@ReallyNiceAriesPerson
15 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Why can't you meet a nice person in a bar?
Why Visiting a Bar Doesn't Define Your Character
Going to a bar for social reasons like grabbing a drink or meeting friends does not mean you are seeking casual sex. People visit bars for various legitimate reasons and can be looking for genuine connections. Your intentions and behavior matter more than the setting when it comes to meeting meaningful people.
Sorry Sizzurp, I spelt your name incorrectly.
*******No I have not been drinking.
*******No I have not been drinking.
I know plenty of people who are at the bar on Saturday and church on Sunday. Not mutually exclusive!
I go to bars to (1) meet friends for conversation and (2) to see live music. I'm no longer single, but if I was, a bar would be a great place to meet guys who are into the same music (that's important to me).
I go to bars to (1) meet friends for conversation and (2) to see live music. I'm no longer single, but if I was, a bar would be a great place to meet guys who are into the same music (that's important to me).
MEH! Pub atmosphere is way different overseas. More of a social thing than an utter piss up. Meat market prowling is usually done in dance clubs, bigger places here. Bar is more of a mellow, sit on your butt and have a cold one type atmosphere. Shoot le old shit-ola. So what if you sit down and have a meal/drink.
LOL Thanks TOC. Grew 'em myself.
Really are digging dat monkey, aren't you Dazed. 🙂
Really are digging dat monkey, aren't you Dazed. 🙂
I meet the nicest/best people on street, randomly.
Posted by Whimsy
I know plenty of people who are at the bar on Saturday and church on Sunday. Not mutually exclusive!
I go to bars to (1) meet friends for conversation and (2) to see live music. I'm no longer single, but if I was, a bar would be a great place to meet guys who are into the same music (that's important to me).
*smack head* I totally forgot about music! My fave little pub had some great bands but I decided that I was never going to meet the future Mr Rnap there so I haven't been for nearly 2 years now.
Posted by Sizzurp
Woah!
Maybe I gave the wrong impression but I don't know you or anything about you. I was not implying the you're a bar-fly or anything else. I was simply saying that its easy to get into a routine that doesn't allow for meeting people or meeting desirable people. Not saying this is you, but you hear about a lot of people that can't find a mate and when asked where are they going to find them, what are they doing about it...they answer with silence. That's why I said it was worth mentioning.
Sorry for the confusion and good luck! 🙂
Absolutely no need to apologise - I didn't mean to give the impression I thought you were a bible basher either!!
I wasn't offended - you would only have to meet me IRL for about a nanosecond before you worked out I wasn't a barfly!
We have had other threads where people have run out the usual chestnuts of meeing marriageable folk in coffee shops, book shops, church etc but when I have run live tests I come up empty handed (literally.)
Personally church wouldn't work for me (the guy wouldn't be there for a start) but I understand in some cultures it would make a happy hunting ground. Whatever works for you is a good thing🙂
Posted by TasteOfChaosss
Nice knockers VB
Just a little Eric Clapton
"knock, knock, knockin' on heavens door...."
Why thank you dof, you have a keen eye for quality and detail.
Posted by dofaccPosted by TasteOfChaosss
Nice knockers VB
Just a little Eric Clapton
"knock, knock, knockin' on heavens door...."click to expand
slowhand?
What a cool bar it would be if VB, TOC, dofacc and I were having a sesh there....great place to meet awesome people🙂
I think we'd have a very nice time. 🙂
It's not the bar itself that's a bad thing
It's the person you become when you get there & after you leave.
Yes when you walk in you're still just as a great a person, BUT there's just something about alcohol/promiscuity-filled environments that doesn't necessarily make the best men/women think of finding 'the one' when they're there!
Men focus on what they see. So if at a bar, they're constantly seeing boobs, sexual flirting, butt cracks, etc. they're hardly looking around for a 'soul mate'
Environment def. does affect a person's focus. Which is why an otherwise good man might overlook the 1 girl in the bar who actually isn't dressed like a slut!
Had that same guy saw that same girl in the corner in a different environment, he'd more than likely be more open to seeing more in her than just what she's wearing or if she'd be likely to sleep with him that night!
It's the person you become when you get there & after you leave.
Yes when you walk in you're still just as a great a person, BUT there's just something about alcohol/promiscuity-filled environments that doesn't necessarily make the best men/women think of finding 'the one' when they're there!
Men focus on what they see. So if at a bar, they're constantly seeing boobs, sexual flirting, butt cracks, etc. they're hardly looking around for a 'soul mate'
Environment def. does affect a person's focus. Which is why an otherwise good man might overlook the 1 girl in the bar who actually isn't dressed like a slut!
Had that same guy saw that same girl in the corner in a different environment, he'd more than likely be more open to seeing more in her than just what she's wearing or if she'd be likely to sleep with him that night!
Same goes for church.
Just b/c you meet someone at church doesn't mean that they're a good person or even spiritual for that matter!
BUT church is an environment that stresses love, unity, family, committment, & a mood that makes people want to see the good in others
Therefore society claims that 2 people meeting at church have a better chance of connecting & lasting longer than they would persay those same 2 people had met at a bar.
Certain environments bring out certain sides of a person. So depending on the environment you're in when you're
'looking for love' can sometimes determine how likely or not that outcome is likely to happen
Just b/c you meet someone at church doesn't mean that they're a good person or even spiritual for that matter!
BUT church is an environment that stresses love, unity, family, committment, & a mood that makes people want to see the good in others
Therefore society claims that 2 people meeting at church have a better chance of connecting & lasting longer than they would persay those same 2 people had met at a bar.
Certain environments bring out certain sides of a person. So depending on the environment you're in when you're
'looking for love' can sometimes determine how likely or not that outcome is likely to happen
Posted by venusianbull
MEH! Pub atmosphere is way different overseas. More of a social thing than an utter piss up. Meat market prowling is usually done in dance clubs, bigger places here. Bar is more of a mellow, sit on your butt and have a cold one type atmosphere. Shoot le old shit-ola. So what if you sit down and have a meal/drink.
Good point bull.
Come to think of it, a few years back I was at a celebratory dinner (VA somewhere I think) and we rocked on from the restaurant and ended up entering what looked to me like a pool hall.
"Ew," said the Aries, "I am not going in there." Turned up its nose. (Snobby Aries.)
Was frogmarched into said pool hall by cohorts, marched past pool tables to bar out back where the barman proceeded to get me hooked on his awesome margueritas🙂
So once I got over myself and my silly prejudice I had a great time. No buttcracks or sleazebags involved.
No doubt there are sleazy pool halls, sleazy bars and plenty of sleazy people in the world if you want to go looking for them, but we mustn't make assumptions without a few facts up our sleeve....
Bars and pool halls are only as sleazy as you want them to be.
Ive always wanted to pick up in the supermarket
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Sizzup
"......Maybe the problem is in your habits? For example, if you frequent bars looking for a guy, you are going to find a certain kind of guy. Likewise with church, etc.
It seems obvious but worth mentioning........"
and my reply was:
"People are always knocking bars here. What is the problem?
Sometimes I go to bars. I have a drink sometimes. It's a good meeting point if you are catching up with a friend from across town. I can watch the TV there. I can use the ladies room there. I can grab a quick meal on the go. Whatever.......doesn't automatically mean I am cruising for one night stands.
Actually I am NEVER crusing for one night stands, so pretty much wherever I go is a good place to meet a great chick who works hard, can cook and is looking for a genuine relationship.
Just because you happen to be in a bar does not make you some kind of low life. Just as attending church doesn't make you an angel. I lived in the bible belt and have seen church-going folk doin' all kinda stuff which I am pretty sure wouldn't get the stamp of approval from Upstairs."
If I walk into a bar what "kind" of person do I suddenly become?
I am thinking I might be:
*a thirsty person? going in for a cold beer on a hot day
*a hungry person? they do great food here and by the time I get home I will be too tired to cook
*a friendly person? meeting a buddy for a catch up
*a person busting to go to the loo? there are never any public toilets around here
*a person interested in sport? for a long time I had no TV and liked to watch a big game on the wide screen
Do people automatically assume I am a predator looking for casual sex because I tool into a bar for a soothing ale and trip to the john instead of waiting til I get home (and drinking alone - OMG - yet another sin!)
a penny for your thoughts.......