WHY would a person be like this??

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HazelFairy
@HazelFairy
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 30 · Topics: 5
I met this guy a little over a month ago at a wedding. Actually I should say I RE-met him because I met him like 6ish years ago thru mutual friends but he had a girlfriend then and we never talked. We hit it off that night. He talked ALL night to me. When we switched it up and went with our separate groups to a bar he grabbed my hand when I was coming down some stairs and pulled me over to him. We talked some more. He was very sweet when he texted me the next day, but I was sort of apprehensive about anything so we didn't talk for about a week. When we did talk I had accidentally texted him something (it was meant for someone else) and he told me that if I wanted to talk I just had to text him. From that point on we texted almost everyday learning EVERYTHING about each other. We had so much in common it was nuts! At one point he sent me a pic of himself on his motorcycle stating how he loves speed and I sent him the pic of ME on MY motorcycle saying ME TOO and he was just like "where have you been all my life"?? It was amusing. We hung out again on Thanksgiving Eve. We went out with a group of people to the same bar we ended up at after the wedding. Talked again all night. We kissed at the end of the night. More texting for the following days and learning more. He would text me in the morning "good morning beautiful" and before he'd go to bed. He called me beautiful, sexy and even PERFECT—!! The following Tuesday was another day of just all day texting back and forth because the conversation just flowed. By the end of the night we were quoting movies back and forth to the point that it was like a conversation (and hilarious) and at the end he was like "AND I like you..." And then before going to bed said "good night perfect girl". Then the next day he was kind of quiet. Thursday he was silent. Friday was only a few texts in which I said "we need to hang out again soon" and he said "we definitely do!".... and then NOTHING.... absolute nothing since then. I text him Saturday morning "good morning handsom" and then a question about working out later in the afternoon. And then on monday I texted "hey u" and nothing........ WHAT... THE .... HECK!!—? I have no idea what causes a person to disappear like that! Any advice or anything would be super helpful. I'm at the point of pretty much being done but I have this gut instinct telling me that he will probably pop back up at some point... and I don't even know what to think at this point! GAH!
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happykitsune
@happykitsune
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 4385 · Topics: 226
Posted by HazelFairy
I met this guy a little over a month ago at a wedding. Actually I should say I RE-met him because I met him like 6ish years ago thru mutual friends but he had a girlfriend then and we never talked. We hit it off that night. He talked ALL night to me. When we switched it up and went with our separate groups to a bar he grabbed my hand when I was coming down some stairs and pulled me over to him. We talked some more. He was very sweet when he texted me the next day, but I was sort of apprehensive about anything so we didn't talk for about a week. When we did talk I had accidentally texted him something (it was meant for someone else) and he told me that if I wanted to talk I just had to text him. From that point on we texted almost everyday learning EVERYTHING about each other. We had so much in common it was nuts! At one point he sent me a pic of himself on his motorcycle stating how he loves speed and I sent him the pic of ME on MY motorcycle saying ME TOO and he was just like "where have you been all my life"?? It was amusing. We hung out again on Thanksgiving Eve. We went out with a group of people to the same bar we ended up at after the wedding. Talked again all night. We kissed at the end of the night. More texting for the following days and learning more. He would text me in the morning "good morning beautiful" and before he'd go to bed. He called me beautiful, sexy and even PERFECT—!! The following Tuesday was another day of just all day texting back and forth because the conversation just flowed. By the end of the night we were quoting movies back and forth to the point that it was like a conversation (and hilarious) and at the end he was like "AND I like you..." And then before going to bed said "good night perfect girl". Then the next day he was kind of quiet. Thursday he was silent. Friday was only a few texts in which I said "we need to hang out again soon" and he said "we definitely do!".... and then NOTHING.... absolute nothing since then. I text him Saturday morning "good morning handsom" and then a question about working out later in the afternoon. And then on monday I texted "hey u" and nothing........ WHAT... THE .... HECK!!—? I have no idea what causes a person to disappear like that! Any advice or anything would be super helpful. I'm at the point of pretty much being done but I have this gut instinct telling me that he will probably pop back u
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happykitsune
@happykitsune
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 4385 · Topics: 226

Usually when this happens it means that someone important has come back into their lives. And I say important because they are putting their efforts into that person and not you. This is purely from my past experiences and observations tho. Before you go assuming just asking him whats up. However, if he's not putting the same effort he put in from the beginning then you're not an important part of his life. A guy who really likes you will text you every day with the same enthusiasm and will continue to pursue you. I say this from my successful experiences that led to the guy asking me to be his gf.

What sign is this guy? just curious
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HazelFairy
@HazelFairy
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 30 · Topics: 5
He's a leo. 😛

the only person that would be THAT important in his life that would pop back up is his ex that he dated for 6 years, but that's not possible because she's in a serious relationship with someone else. He hasn't dated anyone else besides her. So I'm totally dumbfounded. The only other thing I can think of is if he had an interest in another girl and he decided to pursue that instead? But seriously... if that's the case... then that would make me mad for him saying all those sweet things to me cuz then he was obviously doing it with her also....

but I'm not sure. So I can't be mad.

I feel like if I tried texting him AGAIN after the last three he didn't respond then I'd see too needy and pushy. I'd rather just wait for him to come around... but I dont know if he ever would.

I suppose all I'm really looking for here is different reasons why a person would just POOF disappear 😛
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HazelFairy
@HazelFairy
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 30 · Topics: 5
Posted by Metoo
I agree with not texting him again. He could be testing you to see how your gonna respond.
Also with the holidays, even after you broke up with someone alot of emotions come back up, memories of past holidays and times spent. Some sadness or confusing feelings can come up.
He could have felt like things were moving really fast and got scared and didnt trust it would last if he had been hurt that way before.
The point to remember is, there was a sincere friendly connection, and some flirting, but no serious bond or attachment beyond some things in common and I think it is great, though unfortunate, that is happened this early with you guys and he pulled away.
You didnt invest too much time, you didnt get even more attached and you did nothing wrong.
So something is going on with him that has nothing to do with you.
You put your best self forward, acted genuinely and for whatever reason he came back with a BIG red flag and I am glad he did as he helped you not to waste any time! Sorry girl...if he comes back, be careful.



thanks for your response. That definitely makes sense. And yes I am glad it happened early on. I am going to be VERY cautious if he reappears. Although I do have one really good line I would love to use on him although I dont want to offend him (I've been laughing about it ever since I thought about it) I'd like to say to him "OH HEY! I haven't seen you in forever, figured you got a new job or something!" And if he asks why I thought that or what I mean I would say "I thought you became a magician, cuz lezbehonest... BEST disappearing act EVER!"..... LOLLLL I duno, it just sounds hilarious in my mind 😛 I probably won't use it though.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
When you and him do finally get to talk again ... your original/sincere thought is to come up with A Line, which has a guilt-tripping connotation to it, rather than your mind wanting to know how to connect? .. or more accurately, why you two have stopped connecting.


This seems very odd to me. Why did the first reaction of your mind be based around wanting to make him feel guilty?



Leos are a double-edged sword in regards to personal presence .. as egotistical as they are with themselves, a partner is a different story ... if he senses any kind of manipulation, he will bounce on you, regardless of how his natural perpensity is to be controlling (even if he doesn't activate this trait).

A male Leo will proudly stand beside the average looking woman if she is true .. her realness is more important to the Lion, regardless of how vain he might be of himself. And it strikes a chord in me when I read that your reaction that you want to do, what you really want to say to him when you see him again .. is to want to stick it to him.


And as sure as the sun rises in the east ..... that Cat will kick you out of his den in a flash if you're not honorable. No second chances ... out in the cold
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Whimsy
@Whimsy
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2245 · Topics: 36
You're going to be the one who fucks this up, by deciding what he's expected to do and getting mad if he doesn't do it. It sounds like he's been nice to you so far, and now that he needs some space for himself, you're going to be upset and devise a "line" to retaliate when he comes around again. What obligation does he have to you? You can count the number of times you've hung out on one hand. Texting is not dating, and you aren't his girl yet. What you should do is be happy with your promising interactions thus far, let him breathe and have his own life, and welcome him when he returns. That will result in his wanting to spend more time with you, but an attitude and a tongue-lashing will not. Save the upset for when you are actually a couple and he has actually disrespected you.