Help. do I let my sag sun Venus in Scorpio man being in my sons life or not?

some of u may already have heard my stories so many times. But I'm really at a cross road here.. I don't know if I should get him involved. my baby is 1 month old. The dad says his deep intention r he wanna give this baby his world but his action I don't see it happening. He failed to visit my son twice this week . He hasn't been there since day one. When we r on good terms we are like great friends to the point he might take our relation * to granted .. He says I have been an amazing mother efc. I want what is best for my child. I don't want him to appear in his life one day and dissapear for 1-2 months or more.'it will be too hurtful for the child. he works full time crazy hours and also weekends too. He spends majority of his time on his own stuff, work, gym, drinks, gigs, and possibly women.. also, there's another baby coming on the way. That woman is 5 months pregnant with him so he will have a crap load of stress along the way.. How will he cope ?? I'm considering pulling away and maybe make him understands that being involved now will not be wise and myaybe when my son is 18 or something.. Also, I still have deep feeling for him and maybe seeing him will make it harder for me to move forward.. He is not capable of love.. Manipulative, trust issues and many others so yes, it has an effect on me which will also affect my child in the future... I try to seperate the two but it brings me tears when he wanna visit n change his plan last second like we don't matter.. any how.. No judgement please I need some real good advice here what is best for everyone !! I'm receiving child support every week n maybe that's enough.. I feel it's too much drama havin him involved than not.. My son is receiving more love than ever from me and maybe he doesn't need his dad.. Later in the future I can potentially date again and have someone who's willing to love my child and be there for them 24/7. If I continue to have his dad in my sons life I'm afraid it will b too much drama and I may find it harder to move forward too.. thoughts?

His moon is in Capricorn. *

Posted by aquanib
Man-being. That was epic LOL.

Elaborate please ?

No wrong on so many levels dear.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
No wrong on so many levels dear.

? eleborate too please lol

Sounds personal. Regardless of what happened, that's still his son. It's time to put the big girl panties on and deal with it.

Dont worry about him, worry about your son. If he slacks on his parenting, that's a cross he'll have to bear.

He'll only be drama if you allow it or entertain it. Set boundaries, take care of you and that baby.

I didn't mean to come off so insensitive.

But sweetie, something I've learned, there's always a risk of us women being the primary care provider when having a child, for WHATEVER reason.

Sadly, this reality comes in the worst of ways. I was just recently hit with this dose of reality. Regardless, you're a resilient young lady. You have to overcome this relationship with the dad so you can be the best mom you can be to that baby boy. If you give him all your love, attention and affection, he's good. Carry on with your own, don't even make dad a factor. If he does contribute great, if not oh well. Maybe he'll man up in the future when he sees someone come into your life and be a positive father figure to your son.

Best of luck baby and congrats on your baby boy!!

Posted by Koniuchaa
Well you can't make him see your child, but you certainly make him help out financially.

Did you talk to him about this? Is he in a relationship with the other mother to be. I don't know, situations sounds crazy.

No he isn't in a relationship with her either. I know I can't make him see his child but I can stop the situation from getting worst right? What's if in the future he promises my child for a visit and bail out last min! How hurtful would that be for him.. I can't stand inconsistency like that and broken words..

Posted by mzmee
I didn't mean to come off so insensitive.

But sweetie, something I've learned, there's always a risk of us women being the primary care provider when having a child, for WHATEVER reason.

Sadly, this reality comes in the worst of ways. I was just recently hit with this dose of reality. Regardless, you're a resilient young lady. You have to overcome this relationship with the dad so you can be the best mom you can be to that baby boy. If you give him all your love, attention and affection, he's good. Carry on with your own, don't even make dad a factor. If he does contribute great, if not oh well. Maybe he'll man up in the future when he sees someone come into your life and be a positive father figure to your son.

Best of luck baby and congrats on your baby boy!!

Thank you 🙂 my son is getting spoiled with my love n affection already (Taurus ) lol . I guess u r right.! I feel if he slacks on his parenting skill, it will hit him one day.. so I guess I can't just take him out of the picture all together ?

If he's out of the picture, let it be his own doing. If you make that decision, you run the risk of your son building resentment. Let your son see he aint shit, sad but you have to do it like that. When disappointments come, be there for your son.

But if dad wants to be absent, let him slit his own wrist. It's hard but this way, you come out on top.

He has another baby coming—

Omg.

At this point, don't depend on him for anything, ever.

Posted by Wynter
He has another baby coming—

Omg.

At this point, don't depend on him for anything, ever.

I know I havnt really been. What's more annoying is the fact that he says he wanna be there bla bla bla bla but fail at it. That's what annoy me . I rather him say he's not ready n doesn't wanna be involve ! lol it will make it easier for me to accept .

Posted by mzmee
If he's out of the picture, let it be his own doing. If you make that decision, you run the risk of your son building resentment. Let your son see he aint shit, sad but you have to do it like that. When disappointments come, be there for your son.

But if dad wants to be absent, let him slit his own wrist. It's hard but this way, you come out on top.

Yes but it would kill me to see my child being disappointed 😢 but I see your point ..

Posted by saweetz1988

Posted by mzmee
If he's out of the picture, let it be his own doing. If you make that decision, you run the risk of your son building resentment. Let your son see he aint shit, sad but you have to do it like that. When disappointments come, be there for your son.

But if dad wants to be absent, let him slit his own wrist. It's hard but this way, you come out on top.

Yes but it would kill me to see my child being disappointed 😢 but I see your point ..

click to expand

As long as yiu love up on him constantly and be his backbone, daddy disappointment will be an afterthought.

Posted by scorpx3
I'm sorry about your situation...

The fact still stands that he is the father of your child. Perhaps he has love issues with his partners, but when it comes to children, mothers and fathers are different...unless of course there are degrees of narcissistic behavior which I don't believe you've mentioned if I read that correctly.
I think it's only fair, as hard as it is to do, that you do allow him to see his child when he can.
If he is to learn how to manage his time with his children, along with the many other things you've listed, that's on him. But to cut out the chance that he may see his child may be something you regret in the long run. As a user before mentioned, let his absence in his child's life be his own doing.

As for your child, give him your greatest efforts, devotion, commitment and love. If you are devoted to your child and in-tune with your son's feelings and thoughts, no absence of another parent will make him feel left out. He's got all he needs, when he has a friend who loves him deeply and cares about him in a mother like yourself.

Best of luck... More than luck, it's willpower. Be strong. You're a woman, and more so a mother. You have that strength and courage in you to keep it moving and remain relentlessly strong for your son.

🙂

Naw thank you! You are too sweet! I will follow your words.. and do my best and be there for my son when disappointment comes one day .. If it happens I mean. Thank you

Posted by scorpx3
I'm sorry about your situation...

The fact still stands that he is the father of your child. Perhaps he has love issues with his partners, but when it comes to children, mothers and fathers are different...unless of course there are degrees of narcissistic behavior which I don't believe you've mentioned if I read that correctly.
I think it's only fair, as hard as it is to do, that you do allow him to see his child when he can.
If he is to learn how to manage his time with his children, along with the many other things you've listed, that's on him. But to cut out the chance that he may see his child may be something you regret in the long run. As a user before mentioned, let his absence in his child's life be his own doing.

As for your child, give him your greatest efforts, devotion, commitment and love. If you are devoted to your child and in-tune with your son's feelings and thoughts, no absence of another parent will make him feel left out. He's got all he needs, when he has a friend who loves him deeply and cares about him in a mother like yourself.

Best of luck... More than luck, it's willpower. Be strong. You're a woman, and more so a mother. You have that strength and courage in you to keep it moving and remain relentlessly strong for your son.

🙂

"The fact still stands that he is the father of your child. Perhaps he has love issues with his partners, but when it comes to children, mothers and fathers are different"
On that point, alone.
I agree.

First off, it's his kid, too. If he wants to see the child, then, he should be allowed to see the child.
Don't make the mistake of trying to paint him negatively as that can drive a wedge between the child and the father.
Only on legal grounds can he be barred from visitation rights.

Posted by saweetz1988

Posted by scorpx3
I'm sorry about your situation...

The fact still stands that he is the father of your child. Perhaps he has love issues with his partners, but when it comes to children, mothers and fathers are different...unless of course there are degrees of narcissistic behavior which I don't believe you've mentioned if I read that correctly.
I think it's only fair, as hard as it is to do, that you do allow him to see his child when he can.
If he is to learn how to manage his time with his children, along with the many other things you've listed, that's on him. But to cut out the chance that he may see his child may be something you regret in the long run. As a user before mentioned, let his absence in his child's life be his own doing.

As for your child, give him your greatest efforts, devotion, commitment and love. If you are devoted to your child and in-tune with your son's feelings and thoughts, no absence of another parent will make him feel left out. He's got all he needs, when he has a friend who loves him deeply and cares about him in a mother like yourself.

Best of luck... More than luck, it's willpower. Be strong. You're a woman, and more so a mother. You have that strength and courage in you to keep it moving and remain relentlessly strong for your son.

🙂

Naw thank you! You are too sweet! I will follow your words.. and do my best and be there for my son when disappointment comes one day .. If it happens I mean. Thank you

click to expand

What do you mean by... "When disappointment comes, one day"?

Don't think that I don't already know.
Sounds to me like you're already trying to alienate your son from his father.
I hope not, but... you had better be careful.
Google "Parental Alienation Syndrome"

@mrfirebird ! No . I wish nothing but for them to be loving each other. But I know the dad well. He has been known for braking promises but who knows that might be different when the baby is older. I hope so anyway.

Thank you for the video anyway . Made me tear up.

the video is good.

http://gilmoregirls.wikia.com/wiki/Christopher_Hayden

I tried to find out how the relationship between Rory and Christopher was. Why was Lorelei still open to him but they were living separate lives? Was he childish? Irresponsible?

My problem that I don't pay real attention.