How to get my sag guy friend back?

I was very close to a Sag guy I met 3 years ago and we used to hang out several days a week. He was always the one inviting me and planning things for us to do. A couple of our mutual friends told me he liked me. I really liked him too so I confronted him and told him how I felt about him. He said he was not ready for a gf so we just continued to hang out as platonic friends, but then I ended up dating a mutual friend shortly afterwards. After I told Sag I got a bf, he began to avoid me. He told me he actively avoided going to certain places because he knew my bf and I would likely be there and he just didn’t want to see us together. He also didn’t want to hear me talking about my bf. Then, I moved to another state a year and a half ago and broke up with my bf at the time. I really miss this Sag guy. I take initiatives to message him every 2-3 months to say Hi, catch up, or wish him happy holidays. However, he has not initiated any contact since the time when I got a bf. He always replies to my messages but I can tell by his response that he’s just being polite and has not let me back in yet. He used to share with me fun things that he did and sent me pictures of places he went or something to put a smile on my face. It all stopped after I got a bf, even though I have been single for a while now. I don’t think he’d ever consider dating me due to me moving on with someone else so quickly back then. I know I messed up but I really miss him and the friendship. What can I do for us to become good friends again? I don’t mind putting in more efforts but I need to know how to do it right. He used to be the conversation starter so I never had to worry about what to talk about. But now I really struggle since I have to come up with something to talk about now. Please help. Thank you!

Honestly, I would find a new friend who does want to engage with you . You don’t want to have to beg any men or woman to be your friend. That’s kinda creepy

Could you be bored? Looking for something familiar?

Lez be honest, you don’t want to be this guys friend, you want him as your mate.

I don’t even see where you messed up. He turned you down! That woulda been the end of my pursuit for him.

He also probably doesn’t want to get involved with his friends ex or could be in a building me phase of life.

Alas, if you must touch the stove to see that it’s hot.

Ask him out to do a fun activity maybe with competition involved. Something fun.

Posted by tiziani

Doesn't sound like you messed up, to me. It's his problem.

I agree. Some men take rejection very hard others don't. I wouldn't blame yourself @whatisthisallabout. He rejected you first anyway. But it's always sad to not at least stay friends or " cool ". You may just have to forget it idk...

This is pretty much what happened with my ex pisces. I moved on and he saw that got pissed and blocked me.

( Even though he dumped me ). We talked about getting back together maybe that was why? Who knows. At the time I really didn't feel like that was gonna happen. I've tried to talk to him since and after but no response. Some days I feel bad others I don't. It sucks when someone is mad or hurt by you..... but it's their feelings at the end of the day nothing you can do really.

Posted by DMV

Honestly, I would find a new friend who does want to engage with you . You don’t want to have to beg any men or woman to be your friend. That’s kinda creepy

Could you be bored? Looking for something familiar?

Lez be honest, you don’t want to be this guys friend, you want him as your mate.

I don’t even see where you messed up. He turned you down! That woulda been the end of my pursuit for him.

He also probably doesn’t want to get involved with his friends ex or could be in a building me phase of life.

Alas, if you must touch the stove to see that it’s hot.

Ask him out to do a fun activity maybe with competition involved. Something fun.

Haha thanks. We are in different states now, but I guess I will visit him after the COVID thing is resolved, do some fun activities and see how it goes.

It’s possible that he just didn’t want to date anyone (he said he has never had a serious gf in his life) before he’s ready to commit, or it’s possible that he just hasn’t met someone he wants enough. He has a lot of female friends for emotional support and some FWBs for physical needs so he doesn’t really need a gf.

On my end, it’s possible that because we weren’t together and haven’t seen each other for a long time, I still project an idea person on him. Maybe I never stood a chance even back then and he was just being polite to say he’s not ready. Who knows? 😅

Posted by ClassyAquarius

He lost interest I think. You confessed and then shortly ended up with other guy, and on top of that it's mutual friend. I'm not saing it's your fault but imagine that, would you concider his feelings genuine if he would do something like this? I would probably lost a bit of trust.

Is there a way to rebuild trust? He prob did think I was flakey and didn’t really like him as much as I claimed to be otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to date someone else so quickly... yea, if he had done the same to me, I would have been mad, and thought he misled me or was really immature trying to get me jealous... But either way, not attractive. That’s why I feel I messed up. I do hope there’s a way to rebuild the trust. I also understand it may never happen, but I want to give it a try so I won’t have regrets.

Posted by GemiAwesomeAss

He is sour loser. Soy Boy. Snowflake. Who needs THAT? Really...just live your life. He is being a douche.

🤣🤣🤣

Thank you for the support. He used to be nice to me though. But it does suck when a friend stopped being a friend because you got a bf. It happened with one of my female friends a long time ago too when we were both in high school. We were best friends and used to spend all our free time together. Therefore, one day when I got a bf, she was unhappy that I had to divide my time between them. She ended up making a lot more new friends and didn’t need as much attention from me and we were able to become good friends again.

Posted by SagInTheSun898

This is pretty much what happened with my ex pisces. I moved on and he saw that got pissed and blocked me.

( Even though he dumped me ). We talked about getting back together maybe that was why? Who knows. At the time I really didn't feel like that was gonna happen. I've tried to talk to him since and after but no response. Some days I feel bad others I don't. It sucks when someone is mad or hurt by you..... but it's their feelings at the end of the day nothing you can do really.

Thanks! Yea it was confusing to me that he rejected me but then “punished“ me (might not be intentional) for dating other people. Maybe subconsciously he felt betrayed even if he didn’t want to be with me. But yea, if he still doesn’t feel he can trust me or be friends, I would have some regrets but I cannot really change that.

You just said you'd be upset if he did the same as you - aka, move on to someone else so quickly. Maybe you need to take a step back and take a look at why "you" would feel that way n then maybe you can see why he would. It's never fun or that easy to take a look in the mirror, but maybe this is one of those times?

Posted by whatisthisallabout

Posted by DMV

Honestly, I would find a new friend who does want to engage with you . You don’t want to have to beg any men or woman to be your friend. That’s kinda creepy

Could you be bored? Looking for something familiar?

Lez be honest, you don’t want to be this guys friend, you want him as your mate.

I don’t even see where you messed up. He turned you down! That woulda been the end of my pursuit for him.

He also probably doesn’t want to get involved with his friends ex or could be in a building me phase of life.

Alas, if you must touch the stove to see that it’s hot.

Ask him out to do a fun activity maybe with competition involved. Something fun.

Haha thanks. We are in different states now, but I guess I will visit him after the COVID thing is resolved, do some fun activities and see how it goes.

It’s possible that he just didn’t want to date anyone (he said he has never had a serious gf in his life) before he’s ready to commit, or it’s possible that he just hasn’t met someone he wants enough. He has a lot of female friends for emotional support and some FWBs for physical needs so he doesn’t really need a gf.

On my end, it’s possible that because we weren’t together and haven’t seen each other for a long time, I still project an idea person on him. Maybe I never stood a chance even back then and he was just being polite to say he’s not ready. Who knows? 😅

click to expand

Remember that his outlook on life has nothing to do with you. He missed out on you and sulked about it.

"Give me a break. These people don’t know what love is. Love is wanting the best for the other person, not hoping they suffer for weeks after the breakup just to satisfy their own petty egos. If you break up with someone, that person is a free agent, and can sleep with anyone or do anything they please with the opposite sex. If you give such a rat’s ass about them, then don’t break up with them to begin with."

This sums up how I feel about these situations best lol

Posted by whatisthisallabout

I was very close to a Sag guy I met 3 years ago and we used to hang out several days a week. He was always the one inviting me and planning things for us to do. A couple of our mutual friends told me he liked me. I really liked him too so I confronted him and told him how I felt about him. He said he was not ready for a gf so we just continued to hang out as platonic friends, but then I ended up dating a mutual friend shortly afterwards. After I told Sag I got a bf, he began to avoid me. He told me he actively avoided going to certain places because he knew my bf and I would likely be there and he just didn’t want to see us together. He also didn’t want to hear me talking about my bf. Then, I moved to another state a year and a half ago and broke up with my bf at the time. I really miss this Sag guy. I take initiatives to message him every 2-3 months to say Hi, catch up, or wish him happy holidays. However, he has not initiated any contact since the time when I got a bf. He always replies to my messages but I can tell by his response that he’s just being polite and has not let me back in yet. He used to share with me fun things that he did and sent me pictures of places he went or something to put a smile on my face. It all stopped after I got a bf, even though I have been single for a while now. I don’t think he’d ever consider dating me due to me moving on with someone else so quickly back then. I know I messed up but I really miss him and the friendship. What can I do for us to become good friends again? I don’t mind putting in more efforts but I need to know how to do it right. He used to be the conversation starter so I never had to worry about what to talk about. But now I really struggle since I have to come up with something to talk about now. Please help. Thank you!

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You messed up badly. No one wants to live a life knowing that they were anyone's second choice. What's your zodiac sign and why can't you vocalize how you feel if he means do much?? You can get him back in your life if you really want to because you technically didn't do anything wrong, but you're going to have to put yourself out there.