An Interesting Article...

Are Women Scaring Off Men?

The Washington Post
By: Joy Jones

Have you met this woman? She has a good job, works hard, and earns a good
salary. She went to college, she got her master's degree; she is
intelligent. She is personable, articulate, well read, interested in
everybody and everything Yet, she's single.

Or maybe you know this one. Active in the church.
Faithful, committed, sings in the choir, serves on the usher board, and
attends every committee meeting. Loves the Lord and knows the Word. You'd
think that with her command of the scriptures and the respect of her church
members, she'd have a marriage as solid as a rock. But again, no husband.

Or perhaps you recognize the community activist. She's a black lady, or, as
she prefers, an African American woman, on the move. She sports A short
natural; sometimes cornrow braids, or even dreadlocks.She 's an organizer, a
motivator, a dynamo. Her work for he r people speaks for itself--organizing
women for a self-help, raising funds for A community cause, educating others
around a new issue in South Africa. Black folks look up to her, and white
folks know she's a force to be reckoned with. Yet once again, the men leave
her alone.

What do these women have in common? They have so much; what is it they lack?
Why is it they may be able to hook a man but can't hold him? The women
puzzle over this quandary themselves. They gather at professional clubs, at
sorority meetings or over coffee at the office and wonder what's wrong with
black men? They hold special prayer vigils and fast and pray and beg Jesus
to send the men back to church. They find the brothers attending political
strategizing sessions or participating in protests but when it comes time to
go home, the brothers go home to someone else.

I know these women because I am all of these women.
And after asking over and over again "What's wrong with these men?", it
finally dawned on me to ask the question, "What's wrong with us women?" What
I have found, and what many of these women have yet to discover, is that the
skills that make one successful in the church, community or workplace are
not the skills that make one successful in a relationship.

Linear thinking, self-reliance, structured goals and direct action assist
one in getting assignments done, in organizing church or club activities or
in positioning oneself for a raise, but relationship- building requires
different skills. It requires ma

"What I have found, and what many of these women have yet to discover, is that the
skills that make one successful in the church, community or workplace are
not the skills that make one successful in a relationship."

I am so sick and tired of people claiming that it's the women fault that because we are successful, and can carry our own that we have to be at fault for not having a man. What about the women that choices to not have a man but to only have a man to help her make a baby and he can go...would we look down on that women? or the women that don't want a man right know but just want to enjoy the single life (that would be me). What about the asshole men that lie, cheat, on us do we overlook that and still continue to claim or believe that he still love and want to be with us inspite of what he has done....

I don't think Bill Clinton is going to leave Hillary will she becomes president because of her success...

And what we have yet to discover....

I personally have discovered enough stuff about men over the last 10-20 years to know that regardless of what I do for a living and or the community I am going to still hold my own and he needs to be a man and except that and he should look at me as a person that wants to achieve success just as much as he wants it and that maybe if we put our heads together and work towards it we both can achieve success together and not just achieve because society has put in a man heads that he should be the bread winner and not the women.

I think society should stop making us women look like me are the problem and look at the role that men and the women play in keeping the relationship together and the faults with us both and not just one.

"i don't think it makes a man any less a man for not having the same earning capacity as his woman. if you have a good relationship - things like that don't matter."

You are so right but it does...I remember when I was dating my sons father (pisces) and this was back in the 80's he found out I was making more money then him and he was livid. My sister(taurus)works for "Commodity Furture and Trade" said her husband(aries)Manager in a mailroom at (DAR Constitution Hall) would have a fit if he found out she makes more money then him....

"think some men are intimidated by successful women or even independent women per se but not all men are. times have to move on from where both men and women are forced into stereotypes because they are just not valid any more"

Yes they do...If I made more money then my man I would share it....My favorite saying is

"What's yours is mines, what's mines is yours, what we have together is ours"

"my version of that is: what's yours is mine and what's mine is my own!!"

LOL @ Roxi

Well...

"What's yours is mines, what's mines is yours, what we have together is ours"

Is only to be effective once married.

"I am so sick and tired of people claiming that it's the women fault that because we are successful, and can carry our own that we have to be at fault for not having a man."

Some men seem to be having a problem LETTING GO of the "separate spheres" idea that oppressed women for centuries. Join us in this millenium, please. This also includes the double standards about female sexuality we were discussing in another thread, and insisting that a woman satisfying her needs is a slut but a man is a stud. We are all humans...we all NEED sex. The end.

Really...I'd rather remain single forever and just do what I want rather than put up with all that crap and someone trying to put me in a box of what they think I should be. Forget it! I'll just travel. 🙂

Its not there fault. They're left confused as what their role is in society to date...so they have regressed.


Guide them....your sons, your brothers...GUIDE THEM.

Guide them off a cliff!

I'm sorry, Lady_M, that was very rude of me. 😛