sassafras
@sassafras
11 Years
Comments: 6 · Posts: 296 · Topics: 4
Aqua at a loss with Scorp man
Oh wow...just reading this story made me upset. I would have disappeared and completely walled him off. Who does that? Obviously you two weren't official, but you guys seemed so emotionally invested in one another. This is like a bad romance story :/
Should I really just walk away completely? It all feels like such awful timing and so fast. I wonder if I didn't have to work out of state for summer he would still be here. Why tell me he will visit if he is seeing someone? Even now?? He was so sweet, rubbing my feet in the restaurants and before I told him the news I lit these sky lanterns over the lake with him and he was just smiling wide the whole time... was it all just fake?
Posted by sassafras
I've been with my scorp for only a year. He told me a bit into it that he had internal issues with an ex-gf and he didn't want to have a relationship - even tho always wanted to see me. I asked I should leave him alone but he said no, he wanted to keep seeing me, he liked me and he appreciated that I understood it didn't have to do with me. He needed to take care of things, that he couldn't give anyone what they wanted. I already had become deeply entranced with him so I kept seeing him.
Recently, he came back from vacation home and was so cuddly and seemed so happy to spend time with me. He finally opened up about all the horrible things that dealt with his ex-gf and why it affected him so much. That it no longer weighed on him. I was so happy to hear he was emotionally stable again as I never had known him like that. Maybe now he is going to give me a real chance!
But, I had to leave for a work placement that is out-of-state for a couple months. He asked if I was coming back, he seemed relieved and happy that yes, I would be back. We scrambled to match schedules before I left but it didnt happen. (he works 6 days a week). He wished me luck and continued to text me the first week. The second week, he said he would try to come up and visit me! Then, last week he asked if I had met anyone special up here yet - I told him no way! Then he said, "Hmmm. Interesting. I started seeing someone."
All the blood in my face drained away and my heart fell into my stomach. "Its not official.. Just an FYI" and that I will always be in his life, that I'm not going anywhere. I told him I guess he won't be coming to visit me after all, she must be very special and lucky -- he reminded me its not official. Even still, I told him no more intimacy if he is pursuing someone else. He told me he would try to visit me next month but if he can't, when I get back.
I'm madly in love and idk what to do with myself! Half my instincts tell me to just vanish and never return home, the other half tells me to keep things normal and be supportive since he seems happy.
How am I to keep a friendship going with a scorpio man? Even IF it doesn't work out, will I ever get a shot at making this man happy? I don't know what happened! I'm awful at pretending, I don't want him to think I don't care or that his happiness hurts me.. I'm lost 😢
I'd say, pick up the pieces and move on. IF he's playing games, it isn't worth it.
what a douche move.... FREEZE HIS ASS
I think I'm still shocked to even feel rage at him. I never saw this coming, its not like him. "Its not official", "nothing set in stone" just feels like he expects me to wait..? Why tell me at all? At first I assumed he was telling me sex was still on the table.
I'm assuming from the reactions, this isn't normal Scorpio behavior?
I'm assuming from the reactions, this isn't normal Scorpio behavior?
sassfras,
That's normal Scorpio men behavior when they are just playing around.
The Scorpio man in love is beyond compare. These men will give you flowers, chocolates, etc...
but they don't just fall in love so easily... it takes time. It needs intimate talks and a bit
mystery. You are aqua..his emotional needs is very deep. and it would be too hard for you because
aquas are not passionate lovers. I'd been in aqau for 5 yrs.. it was doomed. I left. It doesn't
move my heart..
That's normal Scorpio men behavior when they are just playing around.
The Scorpio man in love is beyond compare. These men will give you flowers, chocolates, etc...
but they don't just fall in love so easily... it takes time. It needs intimate talks and a bit
mystery. You are aqua..his emotional needs is very deep. and it would be too hard for you because
aquas are not passionate lovers. I'd been in aqau for 5 yrs.. it was doomed. I left. It doesn't
move my heart..
Posted by sassafras
I think I'm still shocked to even feel rage at him. I never saw this coming, its not like him. "Its not official", "nothing set in stone" just feels like he expects me to wait..? Why tell me at all? At first I assumed he was telling me sex was still on the table.
I'm assuming from the reactions, this isn't normal Scorpio behavior?
You have now been placed in the backup chick zone.
A lot of people do this, keep a guy/girl who is romantically interested in them on reserve just in case they need to break the glass and grab some quick meaningless sex.
I would move on, sounds like it's not love on his end.
Posted by sassafras
I'm madly in love and idk what to do with myself! [...] How am I to keep a friendship going with a scorpio man?
You are not to keep anything going on with him.
It doesn't matter if this chick he's seeing exists or not, if it's serious or not, if it's an attempt from his part to arise jealousy in you or not..what matters is that someone who'd care for you wouldn't tell you "Hmmm. Interesting. I started seeing someone". Life happens, yes..but if he truly cared he wouldn't have said that.
My guess is he lost respect in the beginning and didn't see you being by his side because you cared, he thought you were being by his side as a doormat.
Either way, there is no friendship here. And making him happy? SMH. Walk away and give yourself peace of mind and make yourself happy.
Posted by starlover
Mr F...why did you change your post?
At first, I saw one thing, then I re-read, and it came to me, so I changed my mind.
no biggie, to me.
I used to tell him off all the time, he always said I had attitude - he nicknamed me sassafras - and complained I was "always dramatic". He since corrected behaviors I had issues with and we haven't argued for 6 months. I can't put a number on all the times I'd tell him to shove various things up his ass. Are you guys saying scorps WANT this? I assumed he hated it! I have a lot of pride, I'm quick to offend but as for my reaction to this.. I had no words. I just wanted to vomit.
We had a few issues but none i viewed as my behavior except when I gave him way too much trash talk over a sports game (he is the biggest sore loser) and he ignored me for a week and cancled my bday plans last minute, which was watching a championship game together. Which, I ripped him for. He occasionally asks if I've been seeing anyone - its always no.
Hmm.. he left me the key to his apt one day, when I tried to give it back he said for me to hang onto it. Idk why, I never come over without annoucing myself. I had to give it back a month later anyways because he had to return it as he got a new apt.
He was a jerk at lunch once, some dude kept looking at me and then tried to talked to me. The guy reconized me from a store I once worked at. My scorp accused me of having sex with the guy, which I told him that was batshit, I don't even know the guy and to stop it. I went to the restroom, the guy was gone when I came back. He joked the guy gave me his number, I said "bullshit". He said he was sorry and he just felt really awkward.
In may, it was smooth. We went out and he was doing a lot of PDA. He went on vacation for a week, came back, was even more cuddly. Our last date, he took me out for dinner and we went to the park. I lit up a bunch of lanterns over the lake, he said he had an amazing time. The next day at lunch, he told me all about his ex-gf issues and why it bothered him so much for so long and that he was ok now. That's also when I told him I was going to be gone for a while. I knew it bothered him, I'm not blind, but he was cool about it and asked me what for, where at, if I'd come back, when I would back, when do I leave, will I have a car, blah blah.
The first week I was gone, he kept updating me on a show we were watching. I had already seen it before so he was being a detective trying to figure out what all would happen and asking me if he was close or not.
Oh, I also gave him a gift before I left. A blanket. His mother gave him the same one but he doesn't have it anymore, so I gave him mine. His face lit up and he screamed like a teenage girl and cuddled his face in it. It was the most adorable thing I ever saw.
Normally, he is a super sweetheart. He tells me to get and ask for anything, money is no question. He always asks if I'm happy and having a good time. Retardedly attentive. If I did something, I havent got wind of it.
Hmm.. he left me the key to his apt one day, when I tried to give it back he said for me to hang onto it. Idk why, I never come over without annoucing myself. I had to give it back a month later anyways because he had to return it as he got a new apt.
He was a jerk at lunch once, some dude kept looking at me and then tried to talked to me. The guy reconized me from a store I once worked at. My scorp accused me of having sex with the guy, which I told him that was batshit, I don't even know the guy and to stop it. I went to the restroom, the guy was gone when I came back. He joked the guy gave me his number, I said "bullshit". He said he was sorry and he just felt really awkward.
In may, it was smooth. We went out and he was doing a lot of PDA. He went on vacation for a week, came back, was even more cuddly. Our last date, he took me out for dinner and we went to the park. I lit up a bunch of lanterns over the lake, he said he had an amazing time. The next day at lunch, he told me all about his ex-gf issues and why it bothered him so much for so long and that he was ok now. That's also when I told him I was going to be gone for a while. I knew it bothered him, I'm not blind, but he was cool about it and asked me what for, where at, if I'd come back, when I would back, when do I leave, will I have a car, blah blah.
The first week I was gone, he kept updating me on a show we were watching. I had already seen it before so he was being a detective trying to figure out what all would happen and asking me if he was close or not.
Oh, I also gave him a gift before I left. A blanket. His mother gave him the same one but he doesn't have it anymore, so I gave him mine. His face lit up and he screamed like a teenage girl and cuddled his face in it. It was the most adorable thing I ever saw.
Normally, he is a super sweetheart. He tells me to get and ask for anything, money is no question. He always asks if I'm happy and having a good time. Retardedly attentive. If I did something, I havent got wind of it.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
are you sure you weren't just a friend and assumed it was more than that?
This is exactly what I was wondering from page 1.
Sass, you've basically been on the bubble--first with the ex now this "random" he's not "officially" involved with.
Did the man explicitly express a genuine interest in having a relationship with you or was it simply implied with all the hugs and snuggling?
Has he directly told me he wants a relationship? No. I knew we weren't official. He said since his ex-gf, he wants to stay single forever. He told me "Its not about you, I want to keep seeing you. I'm fucked up and unstable. I have to deal with things first." He would never tell me the whole story about his ex, he would just get into this mood and start being a huge downer.
He has only one other girl that was around, his old roommate, but he has pretty much said to her face "Its not happening" and "Its not on the table" but he never has he said those things to me. She was in such a rage about it, she moved away. That was a long time ago. When I have asked or mentioned anything down the line of things not happening with me he would tell me to "stop it" or "don't say that" and repeated he was just messed up.
Now that he isn't emotionally "unstable" anymore and I happen to be gone until basically September, there is suddenly someone new.
He has only one other girl that was around, his old roommate, but he has pretty much said to her face "Its not happening" and "Its not on the table" but he never has he said those things to me. She was in such a rage about it, she moved away. That was a long time ago. When I have asked or mentioned anything down the line of things not happening with me he would tell me to "stop it" or "don't say that" and repeated he was just messed up.
Now that he isn't emotionally "unstable" anymore and I happen to be gone until basically September, there is suddenly someone new.
typo.
Posted by sassafras
He has only one other girl that was around, his old roommate, but he has pretty much said to her face "Its not happening" and "Its not on the table" but he never has he said those things to me. She was in such a rage about it, she moved away. That was a long time ago. When I have asked or mentioned anything down the line of things not happening with me he would tell me to "stop it" or "don't say that" and repeated he was just messed up.
Actually:
Posted by sassafras
Has he directly told me he wants a relationship? No. I knew we weren't official. He said since his ex-gf, he wants to stay single forever. He told me "Its not about you, I want to keep seeing you. I'm fucked up and unstable. I have to deal with things first." He would never tell me the whole story about his ex, he would just get into this mood and start being a huge downer.
It may not have been the exact same words, but he has told you the same thing. Now, this may be the emotion talking (a little dramatic lol), but all the "how could he do this?" and "what a ____", meh that is as much about you not hearing what he is saying as it is him giving you mixed messages (e.g. saying he wants to be single then getting physical with you).
Posted by sassafras
When I have asked or mentioned anything down the line of things not happening with me he would tell me to "stop it" or "don't say that" and repeated he was just messed up...Now that he isn't emotionally "unstable" anymore and I happen to be gone until basically September, there is suddenly someone new.click to expand
Hmph. I don't believe it's all of a sudden. Sorry. Just an FYI for the future With some* Scorps you need to "listen" to what isn't being said. Yes he was saying "stop it" and "don't say that", but it still was not a clear "Yes, I do see a future for us at some point". It's a clever way of concealing his intentions without actually lying. He can never be accused of saying he saw a future with you right?--as you pointed out "we weren't official". If he clearly said, "I'm sorry I don't see it happening", he would lose the intimacy you shared (NSA), hence the play on words.
Anyway to address the OP:
"Hmmm. Interesting. I started seeing someone" sounds sketch to me. As it was suggested, almost like he was baiting you. I read that as he made a few assumptions about what you were doing/really about or he does not trust your intentions and acted on it. But I'm just speculating. Either way, as it was suggested by most, do you and live your life. Take some space and if you so choose to respond when you are ready, put all of this (e.g. your feelings, needing direct answers) out there. If he can own* whatever this is, then decide if you want to proceed (as friends). IMO he hasn't demonstrated he deserves more than that if anything at all, but that's me.
I think Scorp men are great when they get their sh*t together. Let him know he needs to get his sh*t together.
*own = acknowledging/fully explain what he is doing. He may not say what you are hoping to hear.
"Hmmm. Interesting. I started seeing someone" sounds sketch to me. As it was suggested, almost like he was baiting you. I read that as he made a few assumptions about what you were doing/really about or he does not trust your intentions and acted on it. But I'm just speculating. Either way, as it was suggested by most, do you and live your life. Take some space and if you so choose to respond when you are ready, put all of this (e.g. your feelings, needing direct answers) out there. If he can own* whatever this is, then decide if you want to proceed (as friends). IMO he hasn't demonstrated he deserves more than that if anything at all, but that's me.
I think Scorp men are great when they get their sh*t together. Let him know he needs to get his sh*t together.
*own = acknowledging/fully explain what he is doing. He may not say what you are hoping to hear.
I see your point. I suppose I didn't focus on that because I've used the same lines before in the past, but I meant them not as a way to hide, but because its so early to open the flood gates. Best to let it fill up over time.
It seems like such a waste to put time and money into someone if you don't have any feelings for them. I always felt like I was given red carpet treatment. None of my long term relationships ever matched how he was everyday. Its hard for me to comprehend. I feel so duped.
It seems like such a waste to put time and money into someone if you don't have any feelings for them. I always felt like I was given red carpet treatment. None of my long term relationships ever matched how he was everyday. Its hard for me to comprehend. I feel so duped.
I asked him what he meant by "Hmmm. Interesting." and he never responded. I hate being in another state right now. Altho, it is GORGEOUS.
I haven't talked to him in a week. I shoved his sms thread into a private box so I wouldn't keep looking at it or wanting to call. I'm taking some comfort in the fact everyone here thinks he just went complete douche.
I haven't talked to him in a week. I shoved his sms thread into a private box so I wouldn't keep looking at it or wanting to call. I'm taking some comfort in the fact everyone here thinks he just went complete douche.
Posted by sassafras
I see your point. I suppose I didn't focus on that because I've used the same lines before in the past, but I meant them not as a way to hide, but because its so early to open the flood gates. Best to let it fill up over time.
It seems like such a waste to put time and money into someone if you don't have any feelings for them. I always felt like I was given red carpet treatment. None of my long term relationships ever matched how he was everyday. Its hard for me to comprehend. I feel so duped.
Well, 1) just because it did not materialize into a relationship does not mean he did not have any feelings for you. His feelings may not be the type of feelings that translate into wanting something more, but a man is capable of giving you attention and treating you with love and understanding without having a romantic interest in you. It got blurry when sex was introduced to a friendship without a clear understanding of where it would go.
2) I don't know if I would say the man set out to trick you---but, I don't actually know him. It could be as simple as he genuinely liked you as a person, enjoyed your time together, the attention and support you gave him, and he found you sexually attractive. He pushed to see if you would be open to him and you let him pass go. Let's be straight shall we, the man didn't force anything on you. He's might have been vague with his intentions (based on what you've shared), but you had the responsibility of asking questions, demanding a clear answer and if things didn't sound on the level, you had the ability to walk away. There needs to be accountability on both sides.
The highlighted bit might speak to why you were willing to accept the vague replies he offered. Not trying to be snarky, but a person can't sell you something unless you??re open to buying it.
Posted by sassafras
I asked him what he meant by "Hmmm. Interesting." and he never responded.
I haven't talked to him in a week. I shoved his sms thread into a private box so I wouldn't keep looking at it or wanting to call. I'm taking some comfort in the fact everyone here thinks he just went complete douche.click to expand
*raise eyebrow* I think you misunderstood my initial post.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I've been in a long distance relationship with a scorp man for nearly a year. We talk/ text all day and we've seen each
WARNING!!!!THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF LONG okay..So this is my first time doing a post??.Aquarius female here!!!! Let
I'm aquarius female 32 has any fellow Aquarians ever dated / are in a relationship with male scorpio? The man I like at
Hello everyone, I have a small dilemma and would love to hear advice, input, or opinion.... Thank you so much. I am :
Do you like them or totally hate them? reasons?
hi all, i have been doing a lot of reading lately on the compatibility of a Scorpio male with an Aquarius female (AF)
He's making me crazy! Are all Aquarius men like this?? It seems like he doesn't care when I text him he takes forever to
A lot of people say aquarius and Scorpio relationship won't last, wats your views?
has any scorpio worked out with aquarius...please share cos most of the scorpio-aqua relationship i have seen got really
So I was originally posted on a different thread called Aquarius men what's up with them? If you read there you wi
@NotYourAverageAquarius
13 Years5,000+ PostsAquarius
Joined: Nov 17, 2012 · Topics: 30 · Posts: 6178
I also posted this in the Aqua forums...I'm not double dipping for sympathy or no bs like that..just need a little outsi
It's all over the tabloids here in the UK HE'S 17 - a member of the hottest group 1 February 1994 Sun: 12?_ Aqu
YES WE DO!! Well, I do anyways ;-) Here is a great post, I would like to share: In astrology this is not a tr
Hello Scorpios I was just wandering what some of you thought about Male and Female Aquarius traits. In my expriences
(he said he loved me from the first time he saw me) I'm an aqua girl, moon in sag, merc and venus in capi. I've been li
Hi im new to this site but was advised to come here for some great advice! So hope it works. I am an aqua female and
I'm getting conflicting reports on this from all sides. Anybody have any experience with this? I'm crushing on a scorpio
Is there a such thing? lol, I have been with Leos, Scorpios, Taurus, Virgo.. even Aries (wowers on that one) but NEVER a
Recently, he came back from vacation home and was so cuddly and seemed so happy to spend time with me. He finally opened up about all the horrible things that dealt with his ex-gf and why it affected him so much. That it no longer weighed on him. I was so happy to hear he was emotionally stable again as I never had known him like that. Maybe now he is going to give me a real chance!
But, I had to leave for a work placement that is out-of-state for a couple months. He asked if I was coming back, he seemed relieved and happy that yes, I would be back. We scrambled to match schedules before I left but it didnt happen. (he works 6 days a week). He wished me luck and continued to text me the first week. The second week, he said he would try to come up and visit me! Then, last week he asked if I had met anyone special up here yet - I told him no way! Then he said, "Hmmm. Interesting. I started seeing someone."
All the blood in my face drained away and my heart fell into my stomach. "Its not official.. Just an FYI" and that I will always be in his life, that I'm not going anywhere. I told him I guess he won't be coming to visit me after all, she must be very special and lucky -- he reminded me its not official. Even still, I told him no more intimacy if he is pursuing someone else. He told me he would try to visit me next month but if he can't, when I get back.
I'm madly in love and idk what to do with myself! Half my instincts tell me to just vanish and never return home, the other half tells me to keep things normal and be supportive since he seems happy.
How am I to keep a friendship going with a scorpio man? Even IF it doesn't work out, will I ever get a shot at making this man happy? I don't know what happened! I'm awful at pretending, I don't want him to think I don't care or that his happiness hurts me.. I'm lost 😢