Best way to give ultimatum to Scorpio?

I have a Libra moon, but my Sun, Venus and Mars are all in Capricorn. Been seeing a Scorpio 6 months. He said he is not sure about a relationship and needed space. I gave him space after he kept rebuffing me. Then he came back briefly, all was bliss and he's moving back again. I'm tired of the nonsense. What is the best way to deliver a put up or shut up to Scorpio? We Caps are very efficient, but I have tried the direct approach and gotten ignored. I have been considering sending him a letter by registered mail so I know at least he has received it and seen it since he will not respond to my calls, emails or text messages. Thanks for any advice.

Because we are technically still in a relationship in my mind. There has been no breakup talk, no closure. As long as there is not that, the relationship exists, to me. I am trying to clarify what we are doing. If he is not under the impression we are in a relationship, it ceases to exist to me at that point. But as long as I don't know, then I don't know. It's a Cap thing.

Elena, please explain. Is it very typical of a Scorpio to ignore attempts at communication from their supposed girlfriend? This makes very little sense to me.

Starfish, I have laid all this out for him. I did not have sex with him when he came back for weeks because I wanted to make it clear that we were moving forward with a R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P not F-W-B. He was a gentleman. But now he's pulling the same crap as when he first needed "space." Again, if it was a fling, it's different, but we call each other bf/gf, and have been introduced to family and friends as such, so I can't just walk away, it is not in my nature.

Branh, each person has their own way of doing that. Are you a Scorpio? That is not my way. Of course, if I never hear from him again, that speaks for itself, but it has been three days since I've been trying to contact him so I need to give it a few more attempts before whatever it is in MY brain that clicks and says it's over. Again, it is Cap thing, or maybe it's just a thing for myself, who happens to be Capricorn.

Elena yes, I do care for him. But I don't like my attempts at communication being ignored. It's rude.

Branh, off base about sex. When we first met, we waited nearly three months for it. He's not a dog last I checked, he can get sex if that is what he wants. I have had one or two inadvertant FWB situations, this isn't one.

Elena, I am a Capricorn. push-pull for us is foreign, at least for females. It's in or out. You're in or you're just not into us. I used to believe that was the case regardless of sign. I know it's not a fling. I know he's not using me just for sex. But the mystery and his refusal to clarify our current status baffles me. When he came back, I expressed the need to talk about our status. His response was I told you that I needed space. I'm here now. What is there to clarify? That response made no sense to me, which is why I had him wait weeks to date and court me before we got into bed. He continued the dating and courting after that and now I've not heard from him in days. It smacks of game playing to me is what I am saying.

Elena, I am a Capricorn. push-pull for us is foreign, at least for females. It's in or out. You're in or you're just not into us.

This is very true. There's no gray area when it comes to matters of the heart -- any gray area would be a contradiction.

Maybe he was kidnapped? Was he involved with organized crime, to your knowledge?

Yes, exactly cappysweetie, there's no in between in love with Caps. I have seen this Capricorn board about disappearing Caps and when a Cap is in love, he does not just vanish.

Starfish, that's all I want, is a conversation. What you and Elena are saying is that I must wait for him to seek me out first?

9/13.

Brahn is a Libra. Ok. Time to ignore. Can't stand Libra men. I really even hate my moon is in Libra.

Brahn, if you don't like the topic, bring your shining light to another one.

Starfish, I'm sorry that my topic is spinning you around. I appreciate your advice, but I really never understand why people feel the need to comment on how stupid, shitty or whatever a topic is that they are voluntarily posting on.

Elena, when does patience morph in doormat-ness? Patience, I have. But I don't want to be a revolving door for him or someone he sees as a sure thing for sex.

Am2, well, if I don't hear from him in a reasonable time, it's over. At that point I will simply not respond if he chooses to contact me, so at that point I will have broken off things completely with him.

I don't really do relationship threads, but what's with the people telling her to be a doormat?

Really, Lapsed, are you physically incapable of dumping a dude?

FuckinA, I see your point.

The problem with me personally is that if I walk away, I am done. As cappysweetie has pointed out, Caps don't do shades of gray in relationships. So if I make the decision to walk away from him, the door is closed. I have expressed that to him. If he comes on bended knee the next day, it's done. We are a cautious sign - we do like effieciency, but we also are pretty hard and fast in sticking by our decision. We aren't revolving doors. My heart will not detach from this situation because it does not have that feeling of "doneness" yet. I am sorry if this dismays people, but everyone is different. Everyone has a different timetable. Yum, I can and have dumped men when my heart was "done" without any issues or remorse. My heart's not there yet for whatever reason. It happens.

"What is the best way to deliver a put up or shut up to Scorpio?"

you can't, because you can't make him do anything. give him his space and keep yourself busy.

FuckinA, I think many caps have a default time for bullshit. I personally, no matter how much I like someone or feel a certain way have a limit as to what I will and won't take. If he passes that, it's done, no conversation needed. So I'm not going to hang on like a limpet indefinitely. At this point and time I have not reached that saturation point but if things continue in this vein, it will be reached.

Elena, one thing I cannot understand is how he can meet my demands and then just disappear. When he returned I said, look, I need this sort of thing, this level of communication, these sort of dates, want to meet your friends (the family thing was his idea), or it's not going anywhere. He did these things and now it's like I'm a tissue he used that he is discarding. If he was the least bit flaky in his return, I would have bounced him on his ass. If he returned and wanted sex right away, I would have bounced him on his ass. But he took the time to listen to my concerns, meet them, continue meeting them after we resumed sex, continue treating me nicely, and now nothing and I'm getting ignored.

It's the incongruity of his actions that bother me. It seems like an exhausting game to be playing just for a day or two of (admittedly mindblowing) sex.

FuckinA, I had to end things with a very nice man last year because "it" wasn't there. It really wasn't him and it really was me, so the idea of this man not being into me is an ego blow but it is one I could readily accept and understand. Perhaps the Scorpio male way of showing this is different from pretty much every other male's way? Or maybe not. I admit I do not see this with clear eyes as I have feelings for him. I do appreciate your response and your take is just as valid as anyone else's.

So if I make the decision to walk away from him, the door is closed. I have expressed that to him.

It hard to walk away from someone that you believe has so much freaking potential lol!!! It's like gee weezzz, if only this man would act right, things would be beautiful.

I know the feeling 🙂

Cappysweetie, exactly! And when he acts right, he is splendid.

Cappysweetie, exactly! And when he acts right, he is splendid.

But he can't act right when he feels like it, he has to act right because its just who he is. In the past, I had a difficult time understanding this. People have their bad days, but when they continue ummmm ....

FuckinA, I have this man on ignore. I would appreciate you not quoting him on my thread. I'd be glad to discuss anything you think he says that is pertinent here through a private message. Thanks.

Best way to give ultimatum to Scorpio?

staple it to their forehead

Very well put DB, you said what everyone else has been saying with just a few words 🙂

c-man ...

I've never seen you before, you just came out of the blue! lol

c-man ...

I've never seen you before, you just came out of the blue! lol


Nice to meet you too!

no

Nice to meet c-man 🙂 🙂 🙂

I'm cappysweetie, I reside in cap land most of the time, but the scorpios can be fun too 😄

You should talk to me more often so I know who are you 😄

lol c-man, I just noticed something.

I said you came out of the blue yet my pic is blue because blue is my favorite color

lol, nice

lol, i believe that is the way the saying goes though. I don't think it would be the same if it was, you came out of the brown

LOL @ cappy

Oh cappy...c-man's a bull

*grins* Nice 😄

Hi Elena!

lol, i believe that is the way the saying goes though. I don't think it would be the same if it was, you came out of the brown

OH NO! Thinking of brown stuff is yucky so blue works 😉

*grins* Nice 😄


awe, you are too kind

i love cake

all chocolate for me

Are you guys still talking cake...or is it some secret code language?

i am pretty sure it is just cake talk, lol

I hate chocolate.


what a shame

it got me wanting dessert too, something like tiramisu

A perfect relationship is what you make of it. I do draw my line at communication. When a woman didn't take me seriously, I ended. So is my advise only worth a dime?

Yep, its up to the indivduals involved what kind of relationship they will have. Communication is key because you need to know where you stand with each other, no one is a mind reader 🙂

Hey DB, if you get 10 dimes for all the advice you give, you will have a whole dollar, you could buy a hard taco from Taco Bell with that 😛

If you don't want your dime, I'll take it 😄

Who needs love when there's chocolate and goodies?? I mean really come on now...

especially with ice cream like chocolate moose tracks, yum

"yea, screw all this relationship chatter, let's get to the good stuff..
white cake with chocolate icing.
german chocolate cake.
black forest cake.
coconut cake.
cherry cream meringue pie.
hot chewy chocolate chip cookies (right out of the oven).
chocolate cheesecake with fresh raspberries.
chocolate ice cream topped with fresh strawberrie.
rocky road fudge.
soft serve chocolate ice cream."


now we are talking

This is what I mean by Capricorn effiency. Turn a post about drama and relationship woes and use it for the greater good without having to start other posts. 🙂

My work here is done.

"listen, any man who shows up on my doorstep with a coconut cake w/real coconut butter flake icing can do, say, have, whatever they want from me. period. piss on the flowers, jewelry, and other sundries, just give me the g.d. cake! now that's true lurve right there! how 'dat!"

well where is your doorstep, lol

LapsedLibra,

I think you should listen to Elena and just leave him alone and get on with your life. I think He will come back and maybe you will be lucky enough to not want him back by then. I'm dating my first Scorpio and I'm even a Scorpio and I can't figure them out. I just know that you need to keep him totally confused and amused to keep him chasing you. One minute he will be confident that he has you and start to relax and take advantage and if you take that time to do your own thing, the next minute he will lose confidence and be afraid he will lose you and be pouring on the love if you keep him guessing the way he is keeping you guessing. For the last couple of days my scorp has been panting and pampering because I pulled away for a few days and then I jokingly told him that he brings out the domestic part of me and that all of his pampering is making me want to do things like cook for him and give him BJ's all day long and I haven't heard from since. I think now that he knows that he has me he is just relaxing again and gaining back some independence. One thing for sure though. It's all very exhausting trying to figure them out.

Lapsed Libra just from reading your first couple of post it seems he doesn't want to hurt you but doesn't want to be in a relationship any longer.

Best way to give an ultimatum to a scorp is to say what you mean and act on it. If he doesn't show his interest in eithe way let it go.

...Rockchick—


Rockchick!!!

Hey rockchick!

Longtime no chat 😄

How are you?

**must restore equilibrium**...**grabs a piece of key lime pie and bottle of gin**


"Suddenly a corner was turned, a blaze of light burst upon our sight, and we stood before one of the huge suburban temples of Intemperance?one of the palaces of the fiend, Gin."