Breaking Up w/Scorpio Man

Hey guys, I need some advice. I've been on and off with a Scorpio man for a year and a half. We were basically just f**k buddies for most of the relationship. We would be solid for awhile and then he'd drift off, sometimes to see other women. I got tired of it, because I'm actually looking for a relationship, and eventually just made excuses when he asked to see me and the relationship tapered off, though he reached out every so often. Out of weakness or horniness, I contacted him on his bday, we hooked up and he demanded to know why I had left him and he wanted me back in his life. Things were good for a few days and then his girlfriend contacted me. She told me they broke up, I hooked up with him again, and then they were back together. I vowed not to see him again. Fast forward several months. I found out through a mutual friend that he and the girl had broken up because she was totally nuts. He reached out to me and I made an excuse as to why I couldn't see him. Fast forward a few weeks, he reached out again and invited me to a birthday party. I decided to go, we all know why. Things were so different. He treated me differently, told me I was all his, took me out, we scheduled a vacation together, etc. This went on for a month. Then his dad got very sick. He told me he needed me with him and I went and supported him until he had to leave to see his dad, who ended up dying. He was gone for 10 days and we spoke a little while he was gone. He said we could get together as soon as he was back. He got back and made an excuse not to see me and then time dragged on. Finally, I went to see him at his work. We were having a deep conversation about his life for about an hour and then his phone rang and it was some girl calling him. I asked if it was his boss and he said he didn't know who it was. I instantly knew something was up. Granted, we've never had an official "exclusive" talk, but I'm not going to be one of many women. After that he has barely talked to me. He reminded me of our trip, but that's about it and I haven't seen him. I went on his Facebook yesterday and he was with another girl at the beach this weekend. I'm actually relieved, because I need to get this poisonous, game player out of my life for good. I've already blocked him on pretty much everything, but I want to tell him to never contact me again, ever. I don't need the drama. I was considering writing him an actual letter and mailing it to him. Is this a good way to get rid of a Scorpio man? I know if I don't do anything, he'll pop back up like he has SO many times in the past and I don't want him in my life.

I only thought of writing a letter because we have plane and hotel reservations to go to another state at the end of the month and I haven't told him I'm not going. If I don't tell him, he's certainly going to contact me and be super pissed that I'm blowing him off. Plus, he doesn't know where I live and I wasn't going to put a return address.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm seriously done with him this time and like I said, I'm relieved and not angry in the least. I believe everyone comes in your life for a reason, and he has taught me some good lessons in what I want and don't want out of a relationship. But being a Libra, I'm always fair and don't want to be a jerk about canceling the trip. If not for the trip, I wouldn't even be on here asking for advice. I'd just remove myself cold turkey and be done.

Hahahaha, impulsv, I really would love to Sat that but I'm trying not to get into any kind of back and forth with him where he says she's just a friend or some BS.

Posted by FrostedElly
Before you break up with a Scorpio, you have to really decide to not invest in them anymore. That's why you haven't been able to shake him. Especially if he's more of the loner player type. He probably is good at keeping enough of a connection going to stop in when he's feeling alone and unwanted.

Don't wait for him to make a decision. Take back the power and you decide, leave him be, block him if you have to till you get enough distance and internalize how much you don't want a half assed relationship or defunct love in your life.

I just called
To say
I love you

And also
+1

Awesome, faceroll! I hope this Scorpio is done. I don't want him back. Sex was great but he didn't have much else to offer as far as anything real.

That's where I'm hung up. I can be emotionally cold and a massive bitch, but I also have a lot of water in my chart and hate hurting people. I wanted to acknowledge that I enjoyed parts of our relationship, tell him I am sorry about his dad but that I am making changes in my life and I need to remove those things that are keeping me down and he's one of them. Then say I'm not going to Boston with him and to please never contact me again. Is that too nice?

Arielle83...the insults are totally unnecessary and beneath you. I was and always have been fully aware of what our relationship was. The "girlfriend" was someone he'd been seeing for a month at the time so not exactly long term. She's been divorced 3 times, stole his identity, put all of his dick pics out on Facebook and tried to ruin his life. That's a nut job. I always knew who he was and kept him in my life for a time and then let him go. Then I fell back into it with him again and immediately stopped seeing him when I realized he had a girlfriend when they got back together.

Faceroll, I guess I'll just have to be a bitch then. I'm one of those people who can cut deeply. I could say things to him that would make him cry. Or do I just say it's over, don't contact me.

That really hit home. Why am I worried about being nice when he doesn't care about me. Thanks! You answered my question!

Undefined...he's a player through and through. I really think he doesn't feel worthy of anything real. He gets so much attention because of how good he is in bed. Women are drawn to him and he can't help himself. He told me he was a liar and a terrible person when I found out about the girlfriend. I was hopeful he would grow up and learn, but he's still the same guy.

Posted by confusedlibra78
Hey guys, I need some advice. I've been on and off with a Scorpio man for a year and a half. We were basically just f**k buddies for most of the relationship. We would be solid for awhile and then he'd drift off, sometimes to see other women. I got tired of it, because I'm actually looking for a relationship, and eventually just made excuses when he asked to see me and the relationship tapered off, though he reached out every so often. Out of weakness or horniness, I contacted him on his bday, we hooked up and he demanded to know why I had left him and he wanted me back in his life. Things were good for a few days and then his girlfriend contacted me. She told me they broke up, I hooked up with him again, and then they were back together. I vowed not to see him again. Fast forward several months. I found out through a mutual friend that he and the girl had broken up because she was totally nuts. He reached out to me and I made an excuse as to why I couldn't see him. Fast forward a few weeks, he reached out again and invited me to a birthday party. I decided to go, we all know why. Things were so different. He treated me differently, told me I was all his, took me out, we scheduled a vacation together, etc. This went on for a month. Then his dad got very sick. He told me he needed me with him and I went and supported him until he had to leave to see his dad, who ended up dying. He was gone for 10 days and we spoke a little while he was gone. He said we could get together as soon as he was back. He got back and made an excuse not to see me and then time dragged on. Finally, I went to see him at his work. We were having a deep conversation about his life for about an hour and then his phone rang and it was some girl calling him. I asked if it was his boss and he said he didn't know who it was. I instantly knew something was up. Granted, we've never had an official "exclusive" talk, but I'm not going to be one of many women. After that he has barely talked to me. He reminded me of our trip, but that's about it and I haven't seen him. I went on his Facebook yesterday and he was with another girl at the beach this weekend. I'm actually relieved, because I need to get this poisonous, game player out of my life for good. I've already blocked him on pretty much everything, but I want to tell him to never contact me again, ever. I don't need the drama. I was considering writing him an actual letter and mailing it to him. Is this a good way to get rid of a Scorpio man? I know if I don't do anything, he'll pop back up like he has SO many times in the past and I don't want him in my life.

1) Utilize paragraph breaks. Easier on the eyes.
2) The best way to get rid of a Scorp is to hold true to your word when you say you're done. For several reason, I don't believe you are.

Arielle83, I agree, I'm sure she's just a bit unstable normally and his actions threw her over the edge. She harassed me for a good bit even after I told her I hadn't known about her and that I didn't want any part of their relationship. She ended up apologizing to me for her behavior.

The problem with this guy and why women, including myself, get hung up on him is he makes you feel SO desired and awesome when you're with him. He's foreign and the things he says and the way he touched me was intoxicating. Coming from a long marriage to a unemotional, non-sensual guy, this was like a fairy tale. But I finally woke up and realized that we have practically nothing in common and he can't fulfill anything for me other than good sex. And even with that, he can't get me off, lol. Seeing the pics of him at the beach with another girl was just icing on the cake.

I am stupid for staying with him, but I'm glad I got to experience that level of passion and the experience has shown me what I need to have in a relationship to keep me interested. I need intellectual stimulation and I want to be with someone who wants me 100% . He doesn't fulfil anything I need.

PhoenixRising...sorry about that. Got into stream of consciousness mode.

Why don't you think I'm done? Just curious.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by confusedlibra78
Undefined...he's a player through and through. I really think he doesn't feel worthy of anything real. He gets so much attention because of how good he is in bed. Women are drawn to him and he can't help himself. He told me he was a liar and a terrible person when I found out about the girlfriend. I was hopeful he would grow up and learn, but he's still the same guy.

So what's the problem?

Just move on.

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I'm moving on. The problem is we have tickets already purchased to go to Boston at the end of the month. I thought the right thing to do would be to tell him I'm not going and to stop contacting me. I wanted advice about the best way to go about that, seeing as when I've ghosted him in the past, he would always pop back up. I want him gone for good.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by confusedlibra78

The problem with this guy and why women, including myself, get hung up on him is he makes you feel SO desired and awesome when you're with him. He's foreign and the things he says and the way he touched me was intoxicating... this was like a fairy tale.

click to expand

Hahaha! Exactly, but people feel and believe what they want to until they wake up one day

Posted by confusedlibra78
PhoenixRising...sorry about that. Got into stream of consciousness mode.

Why don't you think I'm done? Just curious.

Well let's be real, if the man didn't get a phone call at that moment from some other girl you would be going on the trip. So you're not "done," you're upset/hurt. Huge difference. Feelings like that shift and fade. If you were "done" when you wanted something real back then you wouldn't have accepted less when he was offering scraps this time around. You would have been clear in your boundaries and noticed from the beginning nothing much had changed.

This time around he wasn't offering you anything different from the first, you even admitted you didn't have the talk of exclusivity, yet there you were. Why didn't you have the talk? Were you waiting for him to initiate it? That's on you if you want something and don't speak up. Yet you fault him for doing exactly what he wanted to do. I'm not trying to get on your case about it, simply pointing out you're constantly giving him "power". He knew what he wanted and didn't want and made that clear. You knew what you wanted and followed his lead. See the difference?

Even all this nonsense about wanting to tell him nicely because Scorps come back. Look, you always have ways of keeping someone---even the all powerful and mighty Scorpio---at bay, legally or otherwise if they won't hear your words, so I don't buy that sh*t when people claim someone keeps coming into their life.

The letter and sparing his feelings etc is not necessary. As Scorpx3 stated, there is no need to be rude and I don't think you need to be passive aggressive about it either. A simple "I am sorry to cancel like this, but I'm not going to be able to go on the trip. I've also decided it's best we no longer talk or hang out. Please do not call me anymore. Take care". Block. Done. You said your piece, made it clear where you stand and move on. Any long winded explanation on your part will be self serving and that fine, but own it as such instead of making it seem like it's about sparing his feelings.

People only toy with you and come back into your life if you let them. Simple. You can't control what he will or will not do. He may try to get in touch, pop up whatever. You have means of preventing or minimizing contact. Use it. If you don't, that's on you.

Use the weekend to have some fun and try to cheer up.

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by confusedlibra78
I wanted to acknowledge that I enjoyed parts of our relationship,

He already knows that you enjoyed his penis. You don't need to write a letter about it.

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Hahaha! That's epic.

Posted by starlover

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by confusedlibra78
I wanted to acknowledge that I enjoyed parts of our relationship,

He already knows that you enjoyed his penis. You don't need to write a letter about it.

...and at the end of the day ... a dick is just a dick

It is the rest of the person that matters....


Wishing you luck!

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Very, very true. I need to love the person attached to the dick, not just the dick, lol!

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by confusedlibra78

The problem with this guy and why women, including myself, get hung up on him is he makes you feel SO desired and awesome when you're with him. He's foreign and the things he says and the way he touched me was intoxicating... this was like a fairy tale.

Hahaha! Exactly, but people feel and believe what they want to until they wake up one day

He dickmatized you.

click to expand

Sometimes your dick just dickmatizes me

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by confusedlibra78
PhoenixRising...sorry about that. Got into stream of consciousness mode.

Why don't you think I'm done? Just curious.

Well let's be real, if the man didn't get a phone call at that moment from some other girl you would be going on the trip. So you're not "done," you're upset/hurt. Huge difference. Feelings like that shift and fade. If you were "done" when you wanted something real back then you wouldn't have accepted less when he was offering scraps this time around. You would have been clear in your boundaries and noticed from the beginning nothing much had changed.

This time around he wasn't offering you anything different from the first, you even admitted you didn't have the talk of exclusivity, yet there you were. Why didn't you have the talk? Were you waiting for him to initiate it? That's on you if you want something and don't speak up. Yet you fault him for doing exactly what he wanted to do. I'm not trying to get on your case about it, simply pointing out you're constantly giving him "power". He knew what he wanted and didn't want and made that clear. You knew what you wanted and followed his lead. See the difference?

Even all this nonsense about wanting to tell him nicely because Scorps come back. Look, you always have ways of keeping someone---even the all powerful and mighty Scorpio---at bay, legally or otherwise if they won't hear your words, so I don't buy that sh*t when people claim someone keeps coming into their life.

The letter and sparing his feelings etc is not necessary. As Scorpx3 stated, there is no need to be rude and I don't think you need to be passive aggressive about it either. A simple "I am sorry to cancel like this, but I'm not going to be able to go on the trip. I've also decided it's best we no longer talk or hang out. Please do not call me anymore. Take care". Block. Done. You said your piece, made it clear where you stand and move on. Any long winded explanation on your part will be self serving and that fine, but own it as such instead of making it seem like it's about sparing his feelings.

People only toy with you and come back into your life if you let them. Simple. You can't control what he will or will not do. He may try to get in touch, pop up whatever. You have means of preventing or minimizing contact. Use it. If you don't, that's on you.

Use the weekend to have some fun and try to cheer up.

click to expand

Actually, prior to the phone call from the girl happening, he had been evasive about seeing me. I chalked it up to his dad dying, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that he was up to his old games.

The difference when we got back together this time around was he

Hmmm, weird, it seems my message got cut off.

I was saying that this time around we were seeing each other a lot more, he was telling me that he was addicted to me, I was the only one he was seeing, he could feel my soul when we had sex, etc. I felt we were moving towards a more serious relationship even though we hadn't had the "official" talk. But I was on my guard b/c I knew who he was in the past and didn't want to get hurt.

You're right that I allowed him to treat me the way he did. That's on me. I can't make him a decent person. I've composed a short, not friendly but not overly bitchy, kiss off message that I hope will work. I know I can't control what he does but I don't need any drama in my life.

Thanks for all the advice!

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by confusedlibra78

The problem with this guy and why women, including myself, get hung up on him is he makes you feel SO desired and awesome when you're with him. He's foreign and the things he says and the way he touched me was intoxicating... this was like a fairy tale.

Hahaha! Exactly, but people feel and believe what they want to until they wake up one day

He dickmatized you.

Sometimes your dick just dickmatizes me

Lol - such a Libra.

click to expand

Hey, now. What's that supposed to mean

Posted by confusedlibra78
...we were seeing each other a lot more, he was telling me that he was addicted to me, I was the only one he was seeing, he could feel my soul when we had sex, etc. I felt we were moving towards a more serious relationship even though we hadn't had the "official" talk. But I was on my guard b/c I knew who he was in the past and didn't want to get hurt.

You're right that I allowed him to treat me the way he did. That's on me.

If this is the case, then this timeline is out of order Lady Leeb. You were guarded enough that you couldn't put your expectations and needs on the table to be discussed and agreed upon, yet you could share your body and time. You don't see an issue with that? I don't think fear of getting hurt was the only thing at play here. Did you believe he would stick around if you told him you wanted more? Rhetorical question.

This is what I meant by boundaries from the beginning. When you are clear, you know when someone is giving you poop on a platter and calling it caviar.

Anyway, best of luck to you. Don't be afraid to tell people what you want.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by confusedlibra78
...we were seeing each other a lot more, he was telling me that he was addicted to me, I was the only one he was seeing, he could feel my soul when we had sex, etc. I felt we were moving towards a more serious relationship even though we hadn't had the "official" talk. But I was on my guard b/c I knew who he was in the past and didn't want to get hurt.

You're right that I allowed him to treat me the way he did. That's on me.

If this is the case, then this timeline is out of order Lady Leeb. You were guarded enough that you couldn't put your expectations and needs on the table to be discussed and agreed upon, yet you could share your body and time. You don't see an issue with that? I don't think fear of getting hurt was the only thing at play here. Did you believe he would stick around if you told him you wanted more? Rhetorical question.

This is what I meant by boundaries from the beginning. When you are clear, you know when someone is giving you poop on a platter and calling it caviar.

Anyway, best of luck to you. Don't be afraid to tell people what you want.

click to expand

Telling people what I need/want has always been a struggle for me. I was in a looong relationship (18 years) with a pretty emotionally controlling Sag who never cared about my feelings and subtly manipulated me to make me think I was crazy. He would threaten to leave if I expressed any major displeasure, so I have been "trained" not to express what I want for fear that the man will leave. It's crazy, because I'm super strong willed and independent otherwise. I only realized what was going on after we split up 2 years ago. However, old habits die hard and with certain men I've dated, I've not been able to express my needs and wants. I have to fix myself, clearly.

I do see an issue with sharing my body and time. When I met him I was pretty fresh off my marriage and he swept me off my feet sexually. It was the first time I felt like every single part of me down to my feet was sexy. I've been told I'm really good looking by every man I dated (not an ego thing, just trying to say I'm fairly confident about my looks), but this was the first one who made me feel it. It was intoxicating and addictive. It clouded my reason. And yes, I was afraid that if I told him I wanted more he would bolt. I was trying to be aloof and play it cool and hoped it would change. I've learned my lesson.

Thanks again for your words. I need to stand up for myself and realize I have a lot to give and deserve respect!

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by confusedlibra78
...we were seeing each other a lot more, he was telling me that he was addicted to me, I was the only one he was seeing, he could feel my soul when we had sex, etc. I felt we were moving towards a more serious relationship even though we hadn't had the "official" talk. But I was on my guard b/c I knew who he was in the past and didn't want to get hurt.

You're right that I allowed him to treat me the way he did. That's on me.

If this is the case, then this timeline is out of order Lady Leeb. You were guarded enough that you couldn't put your expectations and needs on the table to be discussed and agreed upon, yet you could share your body and time. You don't see an issue with that? I don't think fear of getting hurt was the only thing at play here. Did you believe he would stick around if you told him you wanted more? Rhetorical question.

This is what I meant by boundaries from the beginning. When you are clear, you know when someone is giving you poop on a platter and calling it caviar.

Anyway, best of luck to you. Don't be afraid to tell people what you want.

Telling people what I need/want has always been a struggle for me. I was in a looong relationship (18 years) with a pretty emotionally controlling Sag who never cared about my feelings and subtly manipulated me to make me think I was crazy. He would threaten to leave if I expressed any major displeasure, so I have been "trained" not to express what I want for fear that the man will leave. It's crazy, because I'm super strong willed and independent otherwise. I only realized what was going on after we split up 2 years ago. However, old habits die hard and with certain men I've dated, I've not been able to express my needs and wants. I have to fix myself, clearly.

I do see an issue with sharing my body and time. When I met him I was pretty fresh off my marriage and he swept me off my feet sexually. It was the first time I felt like every single part of me down to my feet was sexy. I've been told I'm really good looking by every man I dated (not an ego thing, just trying to say I'm fairly confident about my looks), but this was the first one who made me feel it. It was intoxicating and addictive. It clouded my reason. And yes, I was afraid that if I told him I wanted more he would bolt. I was trying to be aloof and play it cool and hoped it would change. I've learned my lesson.

Thanks again for your words. I need to stand up for myself and realize I have a lot to give and deserve respect!

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Well now you know what you have to work on. No shame in not

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by confusedlibra78
I've been told I'm really good looking by every man I dated (not an ego thing, just trying to say I'm fairly confident about my looks), but this was the first one who made me feel it.

Your looks are stunning. You look like Lana Del Ray minus the plastic surgery. Bank that confidence you felt with him and move on. Don't be surprised if that kind of show of strength and self worth makes him decide that you're the one now, and he becomes obsessed. Don't cave though, because there goes that perception of strength once you do.

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Wow, thanks so much for the compliment! I really appreciate it 🙂

And thanks for the advice!!

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by confusedlibra78

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by confusedlibra78

The problem with this guy and why women, including myself, get hung up on him is he makes you feel SO desired and awesome when you're with him. He's foreign and the things he says and the way he touched me was intoxicating... this was like a fairy tale.

Hahaha! Exactly, but people feel and believe what they want to until they wake up one day

He dickmatized you.

Sometimes your dick just dickmatizes me

Lol - such a Libra.

Hey, now. What's that supposed to mean

Nothing bad.

I like Libras a lot.

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Ok, good. I was just being sensitive, lol 😉

Posted by confusedlibra78
I only thought of writing a letter because we have plane and hotel reservations to go to another state at the end of the month and I haven't told him I'm not going. If I don't tell him, he's certainly going to contact me and be super pissed that I'm blowing him off. Plus, he doesn't know where I live and I wasn't going to put a return address.

Tell him something like this
"well, i dont want you in my life, i even regret knowing you"

Block him

He will pop out again, maybe in next 2 or 3 years, still the same scorp, he might rem you about what you did, but you know that it has passed and youre ok

Dont mean to teach you but its effective,
Ever done this before LOL