Can I start all over again?

I'm an Aries and my Scorpio girlfriend just broke up. Not an easy relationship as you can tell. She felt we couldn't understand each other, couldn't communicate well. But I think deep down she thinks we didn't connect emotionally (which leads to difficulty to understand).

We have had fights before but we both wanted to keep trying. This time she felt we couldn't communicate after almost a year and she's sick of the fights. I love her a lot and I'd really like to try again. Ever since breaking up, I have read a lot about Scorpio and it was like discovering a new world that I could never imagine. I believe I can understand her better now.

The last words from her were, "I don't know how I feel. I guess it's better to be just friends now. Maybe something will change in the future if it's meant to be." So my question is: will she ever give it a try again, given Scorpio doesn't forget?

I am going to leave it for a few weeks so she can go through revitalization and renewal. Then I will contact her again, hang out like friends and start from the dating stage again. Hope we can truly connect this time. Will this work?

Thanks!

Thanks passinatescorp. So what is emotional connection to a Scorpio woman? How does it feel? How do I know the connection is there?

Posted by viber
Thanks passinatescorp. So what is emotional connection to a Scorpio woman? How does it feel? How do I know the connection is there?

If it's there, you'll know it's there.

I dated an Aries for 5 years. We broke up a hundred times, mostly because of his temper and my resulting fury. I had never in my lifetime screamed at someone before he came along, and I haven't since. Honestly, if either of you are true to sign, I can't imagine how it could possibly work out for the long haul, but I could be biased.

If you stay long enough, the break up to make up cycle will likely continue, and she'll probably never grow to fully trust in you. I went through the same thing, except that my Aries and I both knew that we had a deep emotional connection. It wasn't enough to make his frequent outbursts tolerable to me though, and even early on, I was convinced that we were just too different in the way we dealt with situations to make it together. Always, time after time, I would break up with him, citing those differences, and he would be so persistent and silver-tongued that within a day, we'd be back at it. When Aries really feels something for someone, they fight like hell to keep them, and he did.

Again, if you don't know whether the connection is there or not, most likely, it's not. Not to speak for all Scorpio women, but emotional connection, for me, requires a lot of intimacy, sharing, and meeting on an intellectual level that most people can never reach. I'm not talking about brains, but instead, that indescribable knowledge that someone "gets" you. Throughout my life, I've questioned whether I really connected emotionally with people, but with Aries, I knew it deep in my soul.

You guys are awesome!

Thank you spaggiescorp. Appreciate the sharing of your experience. Doesn't sound promising but I guess I will have to go with my feelings not my fear.

It's that emotional connection that sounds amazing and rewarding!

Thanks ellessque. Here are the charts. So what does this mean?

Hers: Mine:
Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Time unknown Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Time unknown
Sun Scorpio 15.38 Sun Aries 12.51
Moon Libra 23.34 Moon Scorpio 22.51
Mercury Scorpio 10.44 Mercury Aries 9.13 R
Venus Libra 26.54 Venus Taurus 28.32
Mars Aquarius 2.28 Mars Gemini 4.07
Jupiter Libra 22.42 Jupiter Capricorn 7.32
Saturn Taurus 4.39 R Saturn Gemini 2.55
Uranus Libra 6.53 Uranus Libra 16.26 R
Neptune Scorpio 27.58 Neptune Sagittarius 5.04 R
Pluto Virgo 26.40 Pluto Libra 0.23 R
Lilith Cancer 26.39 Lilith Scorpio 4.17
Asc node Pisces 19.28 Asc node Aquarius 2.44

Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Conjunction Mercury 4.54 367 Sun Conjunction Mercury 3.38 596
Moon Conjunction Venus 3.20 641 Sun Square Jupiter 5.19 -11
Moon Conjunction Jupiter 0.52 511 Sun Opposition Uranus 3.35 -203
Mercury Opposition Saturn 6.05 -78 Sun Trine Neptune 7.47 4
Venus Square Mars 5.34 -14 Moon Opposition Venus 5.40 -89
Venus Conjunction Jupiter 4.12 418 Mercury Square Jupiter 1.40 -47
Venus Opposition Saturn 7.45 -46 Mercury Opposition Uranus 7.13 -44
Mars Square Saturn 2.11 -64 Mercury Trine Neptune 4.08 48
Mars Trine Uranus 4.25 40 Mercury Opposition Pluto 8.49 -4
Mars Trine Pluto 5.48 19 Venus Conjunction Mars 5.35 344

Wow. I do feel a strong connection and she made me want kids which now I know it's my destiny!

Leader of the relationship... hard to say. I have all sort of ideas but she's the one to say yes or no. There has been disagreements (i.e. where to live) and I usually ended up going her way because I like her better than the things I gave up. Is she considered the leader in this case?

I believe she sees the love and the chemistry. However she thinks we didn't understand each other. For example, I always say the wrong things that upset her, or she didn't know what I meant. I asked her too many questions when she needed the alone time, etc. After this, I am much more aware of her personality.

Ok girls ... ( especially those who've been exposed to Aries males )
in order to help our Aries friend here ( friend - because he obviously
has genuine feelings for our sister )... AGREE or DISAGREE with this:

Mr. Aries - my advice for you is as follows:
She is leaving you to see if you will run after her and SHOW HER
that you are a LONG-TERM dude. EVIDENCE of this is that she does not
know how she feels ( = I can't tell you that I need more hugs and less
fucking OPPOSITION AND CONFLICT - just put your arms around me and
SHUT THE FUCK UP and ... ( see below **** ))



#1 - Go to her.
#2 - Put your arms around her.
#3 - Tell her: "I realize that I am not always right when we argue
but something DIES inside me when I am WRONG - it is humiliating to me
and stems from my Aries insecurity - which I recently learned about,
and that it is common with Aries - so - I will try to work on it.
#4 - Shut up.

Let's Review:
Go to her.
Hold her while you make that BREAKTHROUGH statement.
Continue to hold her while your mouth is closed for a while.

If you are unable to do that ... let her go.
Why?
That insecurity that causes you to ARGUE that you are right all the time
...and more fiercely when you are wrong
drives her INSANE because she's not a dimwit who can deal with allowing
either of you to make decisions with FALSE believes - she needs the real
truthful facts ...

... and she cannot be confident in you because SHE BELIEVES that you
are fighting because you REALLY think your opinion is RIGHT, even when
YOU KNOW you are wrong, and she is not aware that you are fighting to
protect your dignity.

She is never happier than when YOU PROVE that your opinion is more factual
than hers ... but ... if you are clearly wrong, ANY the argument that you
put up just bangs on her head like a hammer.

To keep this girl from DESTROYING you ( because you are wearing her out )
you need to learn that you being wrong is not a bad thing to her nor you
... arguing or acting on false premise however is foolish and detrimental.

Aries = Arrogance ( see the origin of the word? lol )
Arrogance = an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner
especially in presumptuous claims or assumptions

We'll HELP YOU brag when you ARE right.
But we cannot allow you to win a fight about FACTUALITY if you are WRONG
because we don't want to SUFFER due your foolishness if we ALLOW YOU to "win".
Aint' about winning - it's about t

Aint' about winning - it's about two people looking out for each other.







god damned fucking form with no edit post buttons and no character limit exceeded warning

Thanks for the insight, Scorpiopics. Much appreciate that you see my feelings as genuine. I agree with you completely about two people looking out for each other. Isn't it the most beautiful thing in a relationship?

About making the breakthrough statement then be quiet, I know I can do it - in a heartbeat if I have the opportunity! I am so over my need to win (you are so right about Aries, or at least me). The way I feel is if I lose all the arguments but win her over, I will be even happier.

I feel better seeing your thoughts that she's trying to see if I am in for the long-term. This may or may not be the case but it gives me hope. THANK YOU!

That insecurity that causes you to ARGUE that you are right all the time
...and more fiercely when you are wrong
drives her INSANE because she's not a dimwit who can deal with allowing
either of you to make decisions with FALSE believes - she needs the real
truthful facts ...

YES!

... and she cannot be confident in you because SHE BELIEVES that you
are fighting because you REALLY think your opinion is RIGHT, even when
YOU KNOW you are wrong, and she is not aware that you are fighting to
protect your dignity.

So totally and completely agreed, and I couldn't have said it better if I'd tried my hardest. This is EXACTLY it! Trust issues can easily stem from this, and this was my Aries to a tee.

She is never happier than when YOU PROVE that your opinion is more factual
than hers ... but ... if you are clearly wrong, ANY the argument that you
put up just bangs on her head like a hammer.

Yes, yes, yes.

To keep this girl from DESTROYING you ( because you are wearing her out )
you need to learn that you being wrong is not a bad thing to her nor you
... arguing or acting on false premise however is foolish and detrimental.

Exactly. Plus, it seems like every conversation where there's any opposition between Aries and Scorpio is grounds for fight. The thing I said the most, and meant the most, was this: Pick your battles.

Pick. Your. Battles.

Huh?

Posted by wsigaf
I'm so glad scorpiopics didn't advise to write a letter..

A letter is not indicated in this case.

In this case what is indicated is GOING TO HER and showing her that
- he cares enough about her to RISK HUMILIATION by going to her
- he wants to keep her
- he understands the main source of the conflict
and will try to work on it

Posted by viber
Thanks for the insight, Scorpiopics.

no problem - it was hard-learned insight, too.
Much suffering while learning what I have passed on to you.
You get the benefit without the pain. 🙂

Posted by viber

Much appreciate that you see my feelings as genuine.

I certainly do.

Posted by viber

About making the breakthrough statement then be quiet, I know I can do it - in a heartbeat if I have the opportunity!

#1 - You need to make that opportunity - by going to her.
You MUST remember to SHUT UP ( and possibly endure some lashing
and/or FEIGNED indifference or UNCERTAINTY on her part - another test ).
See ... just just ran away KNOWING that your argumentative tendency
was killing her. She can't take it anymore.

Posted by viber

I am so over my need to win (you are so right about Aries, or at least me).

I don't talk out of my a**. When I make a statement, it's usually based on
something more than my personal opinion - no matter how many challenge it.

My brother is an Aries. I have come to understand the trends
and apply them to your situation ... as a Scorpio.

Posted by viber

The way I feel is if I lose all the arguments but win her over, I will be even happier.

She doesn't want you to stop arguing - only when you're wrong. lol
Her original attraction to you was 1 part sensitivity, 1 part backbone.
Unfortunately, she didn't know the backbone was often irrational. lol

TRULY - she left because she realized that to "let you win" would mean
she could either RESENT your idiocy ... or SUBMIT to it and it was
TRULY ( seriously, for real ) driving her to the point of mental instability.

Posted by viber

I feel better seeing your thoughts that she's trying to see if I am in for the long-term. This may or may not be the case but it gives me hope. THANK YOU!

click to expand

I think it is the case and EVEN DOABLE - as long as you can TELL HER
- EX

I think it is the case and EVEN DOABLE - as long as you can TELL HER
- EXPRESS TO HER
the actual, factual REASON for your arguments ( insecurity - part of you DIES
inside with humiliation when you have to admit you are wrong, as if you are
STUPID or something - and it is the worst thing ever for you
and that YOU KNOW she never knew - and you are now baring your DEEPEST SECRET
to her ... because you want to work on it and not drive her away...

If you say that gently to her ( not angry ) she'll be FAR more receptive
to trying again
and understanding of the events which happen. She may even just SMILE
when you start to get in your high horse - instead of trying to SHOW YOU
what is RIGHT ( which to you is an attack that must be defended. )

Basically, "just tell her the truth" and let her know that you recently
became self-aware - and more aware of how HER mind works and how you both
can work it out. You can even tell her that you SO wanted to keep her,
you had to seek help on a Scorpio forum - where you got your ass kicked
- all in the name of love.


GO NOW.



-

Thanks for all the suggestion. Last weekend we texted back and forth a bit to say hi. I said something about helping her and she said "that truly means a lot." I took that as a very positive feedback.

Today she asked if I wanted to go for dinner out of the blue so I went. Didn't talk about anything heavy, just catch up and it was very light and relaxed.

Although she did take the relationship status off facebook and told her friends and family that we broke up.

Good signs? Bad signs? Mixed signal?

Thanks all for your insight and your help. Met with her recently, nice and calm... and it's over... for good.

Perhaps it's a good thing.

What a ride...