Does anybody deal with this problem?

I was just curious to see if anyone has the problem detaching from relationships,from romantic to friendship.It seems like the more dreadful the relationship or the worse i am treated,the harder time i have letting go.I wonder why this is?,I kinda catch myself obsessing over it,if even at the time i was a friend or partner i was absolutely miserable in the relationship at hand.

Really kinda curious from an astrology perspective,and also if anybody has encountered this problem and how they overcame it or how they currently dealing with it.The more the obsession,the more i seem to outcast that person,from blocking them off social networking sites,blocking phone calls,or completely ignoring them if in person.i was hoping people go through this on occasion and that i am not too much of a weirdo,but if so,i will work on it either way.Here is the chart for you super savvy astrology cats, best wishes to you DXP.....


Sun Scorpio
Moon Virgo
Mercury Libra
Venus Sagittarius
Mars Virgo
Jupiter Libra
Saturn Libra
Uranus Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra
Lilith Sagittarius
Asc node
Cancer

brandon -- much appreciate your honesty here

I would argue most women wouldn't be able to figure why more emotions would cause distance. I relate emotions to closeness and I believe many women would do too. I've been through same by being an outcast. I loved the guy intensely, but he blocked me off everything. Now since I don't care for him anymore after 3 years, he seems to want to establish connection. Meantime my emotions are fried off...

where is the good here?

Yeah, I hate to admit it but I can relate. I refuse to give up on the bad relationships. It's like a project and I must succeed at it. So, yeah, I hear ya.

Confuse sorry are saying that u are obsess over bad relationships or friendships. I not sure. Anyway if so then I kind of relate. Forexample I had old friendships where I was treated badly. It been 5 years and still think of these people . I dnt no why, and deep down I would never allow these people back in my life , but I go over details of when I new them , good and bad details. My issue is I can't let go pain. Cancer cancer cancer smh. I think I obsess on how it want wronge. Can't let go of the pass. Water sign behavior. I might be off from your topic I dnt not but we both talking about obsession right

Sorry about the miss spelling

i am going through something similar although i'm a bit further along the process of understanding why this happens. the fact is, rejection makes you like someone more because your ego is involved. i have been completely wrapped up in this cycle for about 6 months but i think i have found resolution.

the thing is that you can get so overwhelmed by feelings of rejection that it's hard not to get sucked into feeling sorry for yourself or feeling that you have to somehow justify and prove you're a great person despite that one person not wanting you. but they become the symbol of our loneliness and feelings of isolation and then we start to associate the thought of that person with all those horrible feelings....so we shut them out completely so we don't have to acknowledge the way they've made us feel.

but we miss the very significant point that there were two sides of the coin in the bad experience...our side included. we're so busy feeling hurt and rejected that we fail to see that we may have had a part in making things turn out the way they did.

so it's important to consider your part in what happened, own it, take responsibility for it and never let it happen again cos otherwise, the cycle keeps repeating...trust me, i know.

I was talking about both Ecent.friendship and romance.You hit it on the head from your description,addicted to the pain,wondering what went wrong after so many years even if i shouuldnt care,your right on subject.thank you for your response.just wondering if i was alone,and seeing the astrology point of view.its a water sign thing huh.gotcha.after the sun sign and moon i get lost.pretty novice😢.I personally have to work on it,learn to let the past go.unfortunately it is not going to happen overnight,but it has to happen for my own souls progress,and to not jeaprodize future realationships.so much easier said then done.thank you for your response and the other members as well.i am appreciative.just wondering if i was solo on this....thank you.

i find with friendships that have been lost, the pain is almost more unbearable than for a romantic partner. especially when it was a great friendship that was spoilt by something bad. i guess it's harder cos when romantic relatonships are done, they're pretty much done but friendships...deep ones...how can they ever be over? i have one friend in particular who i've not spoken to for a few weeks. it was my fault it ended after screwing things up twice over. i thought i was hurt by a romantic mishap last year but it pales into insignificance to how i feel about losing this friend. i can't communicate any of this however. i try and write him but choosing the words that truly represent how i feel seems impossible and yet it's the only chance i have to salvage what we had.

I guess i find it harder with romance,maybe it is my own selfish ego realizing how i failed miserably at something.In friendships i tend to be more optimistic just because it feels more likely to reconcile which is not always the case.You are absolutely right it ALWAYS takes two to tango,and not acknowledging your own fault in matters is only prolonging the solution we so desperately desire,kinda defeats the whole purpose of looking for the answer,and then the cycle continues,makes sense to me.As fun as it is to throw a pity party for ourselves,this only causes further distance from the truth,which in return only adds on to the guilt and hurt which is everything your sincerely trying to overcome..Thank You Rigomortis🙂

you are most welcome

once you do actually accept full responsibility for your part in the the things that happen in these bad relationships, it makes it so much easier to move on because you become absolved of all the bad feelings about yourself and all those feelings of being unworthy or feeling rejected. when you understand how your behaviour triggered their behaviour and vice versa, it becomes much less personal and hurtful 🙂

So true , to both of u. This is hard for me too. Because I haven't made close friendship because of it , I lose my touch lol, that mean I allow these people take something from me. When they left and move on they took something I had.I think one of the things I need to do is handle why I allow someone to do me wronge and the first place. We can't control people and there doing but we can control our selves. Some where along I lose myself

You sound like my ex

Well Brandon, thanks for sharing this. Speaking as someone who is onthe other side of being "blocked" by a scorpio man, I appreciate hearing what may be his feelings. It hurts to be shut out, I'll tell you that much. He hasnt returned a message, text or email in 4 months. As far as I can tell he hasnt blocked me from FB, though we arent friends there.

But who knows...THAT could be next! 😢

I had a relationship where I had the same problem...

Yes Lord! I definitely brood and obsess about it. and it's not about the person I think it's an issue of pride and feeling rejected

Thats exactly how i feel.thank you

Thank you sweets that was a kind thing to say.i appreciate sincerely.That is an intresting point of view,it is also absolutely correct.im glad i made this thread,it helped me proceed to get to the bottom of things and there is truly some kind and insightful people here 🙂

Posted by RedScorpion
Yeah, I hate to admit it but I can relate. I refuse to give up on the bad relationships. It's like a project and I must succeed at it. So, yeah, I hear ya.

......Omg! Scorpion thing?! A challenge or a sickness...weakness maybe

About the end dun dun dun, although it takes a minute to get there I contribute the letting go to loving ourself more, knowing your worth & ultimately letting it go because you value yourself more. Its not an easy task, this I know to be true & truly can be quite the obsession

I wish i cared about myself that much that i didnt care about their well being and i valued my own self worth and feelings...but at this i dont....im wrong not you. You have the right idea. Need to get on your level...i wont lie to myself though..its better i find the answer or i will never progress to the proper mindstate i need to be.😢

brandon. weren't you here a few years back? if you were, you'll remember me...roxi.

anyhow, to some extent i think the difficulty in attachment comes from projecting all your bad feelings on to the person you've lost or separated from until it comes down to almost a feeling of....if such and such was still here, i wouldn't feel like this.

and that's the problem you would feel the same way but you don't want to experience those feelings and so you offset them elsewhere. you beat yourself up...it was your fault cos somehow, they've become almost perfect in retrospect and so it must be cos of you it went wrong. you even say you are sympathethic to the others feelings to a greater extent than your own and therein lies your problem i think.

it's a much harder but much more fruitful process to actually try and get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do before you find yourself just 'feeling' it for so long that it never leaves you and you've long since forgotten the logic behind the way you feel.

it's nothing to do with anyone else. it's all up to you 🙂

omg...did that make any sense at all? i know what i'm trying to say....

Hope! Everyone in or who has crossed our path, divinely appointed...No one present by "accident" how we "see, treat & tolerate" each person determined by our level of love or fear we feel at the moment. Our perceptions reveal both our strengths & our weaknesses ......our weaknesses when recognized were meant to be corrected...

Based on your post, your on the right track!

For me it is almost impossible to stay friends with someone I have been in a relationship