Holding grudges and letting things go

I'm trying to help a friend out. I'm an Aqua female with a Scorp female friend that has relationship issues. The issues are pretty minor to me but to scorp it's always the end of the world. I've researched, discussed, and racked my brain for an answer and still I'm not satisfied with my advice to her.

My question is about letting things go and holding grudges. Can you teach this? Does it just come natural to 'let go' of things?

I have another friend Libra/Scorp cusp that naturally holds grudges and she doesn't care. She prefers it that way.

My scorp friend wants to change this about herself.

In my opinion you cannot teach this. A person has to go through whatever the situation is and realize for himself or herself that it's time to let go. Only time can allow a person to truly let go. However, you can be a friend and point out the advantages of letting it go--it's very freeing to let go. Sometimes just putting the idea of letting it go and feeling better can help a person finally get there. Tell your friend not to think about the situation day in and day out. Find something to take the mind off of whatever it is. To think about something constantly is to keep in alive. As I mentioned before only time can take care of this.

Also wanted to say some people WANT to hold grudges. If this is the case there's nothing that can be done. However, you said she wants to change this about herself. Tell her to start by being positive, think about other things, and above all be patient. And quit sweating the small stuff; not everything is a crisis. I'm sure she has wonderful things in her life that she can be thankful for...tell her to think about those things...


:-)

Thank you very much for your input, I appreciate the responses. 🙂

if they have feelings towards something that isnt going their way... it is the end of the world. the ending of the world is a terrible thing. can't expect them to be neutral about it.

jeezus gawd... my ex

introduce small changes to her. i would first offer her solutions to her relationship issues. let her mull it over on her own. then get her mind off of dwelling on negativity or just dwelling negatively in general. make her laugh. get her out.

with scorpios you really have to plant seeds of ideas with them and leave them alone to let the ideas grow. they come off irrational when it comes to staying in one emotion, but sensible advice usually does stick with them.

Posted by CreepyPants
if they have feelings towards something that isnt going their way... it is the end of the world. the ending of the world is a terrible thing. can't expect them to be neutral about it.

jeezus gawd... my ex

introduce small changes to her. i would first offer her solutions to her relationship issues. let her mull it over on her own. then get her mind off of dwelling on negativity or just dwelling negatively in general. make her laugh. get her out.

with scorpios you really have to plant seeds of ideas with them and leave them alone to let the ideas grow. they come off irrational when it comes to staying in one emotion, but sensible advice usually does stick with them.

This is kind of what I was looking to hear. Thank you. No matter how much I down play her (or others drama) because it's 'no big deal to me' doesn't mean that it's not a huge deal to them. Thanks again 🙂

Posted by IntriguedScorp
The only way that a scorp is going to learn to not hold a grudge is to be humbled into it. That might mean losing a lover or losing a job or whatever and feeling the ramifications of holding a grudge up close and personal. Otherwise, unfortunately for too many Scorps, grudges are a part of the picture.

1+.

When a scorpio expresses desire to change himself/herself, it means they have accepted that everything about their behavior/the way they think is nor quite right.This is the first step toward evolution.

Evolving requires being malleable,listening to others when they are right, not being hard-headed stubborn and being open to learning things beneficial to ones emotional growth.

A Scoprio lets go when he/she understands that harboring resentment/hatred is detrimental to his/her inner peace,is keeping him/her from focusing on work and other important things in life and holding on is not going to serve any purpose other than adding misery.

Takes openness to change,patience,time and work.

Is doable though.

Posted by AmuseOneself


My question is about letting things go and holding grudges. Can you teach this? Does it just come natural to 'let go' of things?

I'm not sure if one can be taught to "let go". It's an internal struggle that the person has to work through on their own. Some people struggle with it more than others.

When a person feels they have some personal investment in a situation and the outcome, there is no convincing them to let something go. Especially a Scorp.

Posted by AmuseOneself


My scorp friend wants to change this about herself.

click to expand

If you're friend truly wants to change this about herself then she will. All this "I want to" is just lip service and a passive way of holding onto your old self. It is a choice she is making. Every time.

Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Stop a scorp from holding a grudge?

Pfft.

They'll hold on to that grudge as it takes them to resolve whatever issue caused that grudge. That might be never.

And if every bridge is burned and every field is salted along that path towards ending that grudge and we are in enemy territory with no way home and no food to eat, well, that's the way we like it.

Sad, but true.

Grudges or Memories?


- Grudges are memories linked with many negative emotions, which may or may not still be a part of the present, possibly a burden as well.

- Memories are simply blueprints of what one has experienced in the past, one could be objective, slightly detached from it all where reflection could be achieved.


For any Scorpio, as we grow and evolve, the first stage of development is self-awareness, this is the key which unlocks the knowledge we are required to have, we need to know our lesser and greater flaws first and foremost before any critical processing could be done.

The second stage, is reflection upon memories, here we take a step back to view the bigger picture, replaying past experiences as a film, feeling them as a former character and not who we are in the present. We go through critical thinking, picking a part everything that had happened, analyzing it, dissect it, investigation this and that, this process may come quickly at times it may even take years but out of this we usually derive a very important but necessary lesson which we had learned which would help us to know what those flaws are but how they function, tick, set off and so forth.

Now, comes the third stage, we will mull over ourselves, a constant inner battle, trying to find peace with all that we have gathered above, it is usually a revelation of sorts, sometimes very demanding on our soul as it breaks known grounds and pushes us to re-create our comfort zones. Many, lesser evolved Scorpios will stop here, frozen with fear, afraid to step beyond the unknown, the fixed natures of ours coming into a negative light. The braver ones, those who truly want change, fighting for a journey closer to enlightenment will choose, yes choose and it is a personal choice, nobody absolutely nobody will be able to convince nor force us to change except ourselves.

Finally, our rebirth, taking the active initiatives to make use of every single piece of knowledge and understanding of who we are and how we function, in turn taming our beasts, reigning them in, for some which we may have to kill. We shed a layer of our past self to leave behind us, we step out of the cocoon, a fresh, a new. The Phoenix rises out from within the ashes, that is who we are.

Complete cycle of death only to be reborn. This will happen many a times within our lives, propelling us ever so much closer to reaching our highest self, very few get there but it is about the journey and not th

...and not the destination

anytime Amuse 🙂

another thing to suggest to her... grabbing life by the balls and making changes so that she is happier will feel very empowering to her and she may wonder why she hadn't done it sooner.

that should encourage her.

Posted by Scorpiorabbit


And if every bridge is burned and every field is salted along that path towards ending that grudge and we are in enemy territory with no way home and no food to eat, well, that's the way we like it.

LOL sad but true

I was going to say that a person is not doomed to changing just because of their zodiac sign. However, if Scorpios are prone to holding grudges it might be hard to change that. I say that because that's like a Gemini deciding to cut down on the excessive communication! We HAVE to do that! Or another point, it's like a Cancer deciding to cut out their whining! They HAVE to do THAT! LOL! I could think of one for each sign... Good luck to your Scorpio friend!

I'm glad I don't hold grudges; I can have a knockdown drag out with someone then the next minute have a discussion as if the altercation never existed. I like to move on and have lovely peace and harmony... :-)