How many of you....

Get turned on when you fight with your SO?

My x once told me that she loved me but she wanted to choke me.
I asked what she meant by that here, then finally got her to answer my q.
She said she thought it would be more intense. Sags have these weird ideas.
I should tell her about the nightmares I have when I see her in them.
How's that for intensity?

He doesn't fight with me. He refuses any sort of confrontation except the playful type, typical Cancer.

My ex taurus....NO. NO NO NO NO NO! In fact, he kind of terrifies me. There's something evil and malicious about him and how his eyes and face get when he's gone on angry raging rampages with me that chills me to the bone. I've tried to describe it and it never does it justice. My best friend finally saw it last year right after I left him and he tried storming my house. It terrified her, and she's been faced with nuts wielding guns, deals with criminal defense and has been in prison to talk to men accused of rape and murder, and none of that has phased her the way The Look on my ex's face did.

ariette and Moon, The whole idea of being turned on when fighting with someone who you know you aren't safe with is much different. That is a "flight" feeling.

Mr.F your ex sounds like she might have known you a little bit. You Scorpio Men are insufferable! 😏

I think when each person knows what the other is thinking and quite probably know that the argument has already been argued there is such tension .... this is what I mean.
I am not looking for a sweet, soft make out session. I am looking for some bruises to admire the next day. That is a paradox because I do not want an aggressive Man.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
bruises from play wrestling (or fun stuff in bed)....okay.

bruises because someone lost their temper.....not okay.

Yes, Agreed. The line is pretty clear.

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
bruises from play wrestling (or fun stuff in bed)....okay.

bruises because someone lost their temper.....not okay.

Yes, Agreed. The line is pretty clear.

click to expand

... but it isn't, is it? If I am mad and he is mad and we tear up the house cause we are mad...?

Nope, it's a turn-off.

I can't resaddle from negativity to lust on cue, to me those are two opposite things.

But it's different if it's someone I'm not in an "emotionally intimate" relationship with though.

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by insertyourquarters
He doesn't fight with me. He refuses any sort of confrontation except the playful type, typical Cancer.

You've never met a Cancer with Mars in Aries then. Lol.

click to expand

hehehe, yes, exactly.

+1000

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
play fight. yes.

real fight. nope.

+1

Roleplay or teasing = fuuuuuun.

Real fighting, or even yelling? Boom boom knock you out.

Real fight? - I'm like....."I'm outta here.....see ya, maybe"

I'm like, *listening to boom boom knock you out the song as I drive away in my car*

😆 we know mars in Gemini isn't fighting anyone...

click to expand

That is an awesome song! Lol
I am a bit of a redhead and have found that I tend to stand my ground at my better judgement.

Posted by FixedWater
Get turned on when you fight with your SO?

—?

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by insertyourquarters
He doesn't fight with me. He refuses any sort of confrontation except the playful type, typical Cancer.

You've never met a Cancer with Mars in Aries then. Lol.

click to expand

Obviously not! His Mars is in Capricorn grrr! >_

I will say that when there's love and trust going on, that seeing the passion and intensity in the other as the fight happens IS a turn on. It's a funny mix of wanting to kick them in the shins and wanting to fuck them silly.

...and it's no surprise why men just want to fuck and RUN these days.

Posted by Curiousram

Posted by enfant_terrible
Nope, it's a turn-off.

I can't resaddle from negativity to lust on cue, to me those are two opposite things.

But it's different if it's someone I'm not in an "emotionally intimate" relationship with though.

Maybe I'm just immature then? My mars is in LEO

click to expand

My Mars is in Leo aswell... though it's in somewhat conflicting position with my Cancer Moon/Venus.

Anywho, you were talking about (playful) teasing, as are many others in this thread I've noticed. I was under the impression we were discussing sex after a thunderstorm, with harsh words, "reality checks", etc. Those are not a foundation for mindblowing sex in my book.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I like being frustrated 😄

I don't like being angry 😢

I think the frustration fights are the key to the wanting to clobber and fuck the SO. Fights that are disrespectful and abusive are not a turn on.

Posted by Curiousram

My mars is conflicted also by my venus in pisces and moon in cancer. But if we are talking about angry sex count me in. I wouldn't mind being angry with a partner and vigorously fucking agasint a wall.. idk the idea of it turns me on.

I don't need the external stimulation to get into that mode though, being sexually turned on I'll get angry and I don't even know why. But it's a healthy form of aggression, without any emotional roots. Just a symtom of horniness I guess, probably brought upon the notion that you have someone at your mercy.

Posted by FixedWater
ariette and Moon, The whole idea of being turned on when fighting with someone who you know you aren't safe with is much different. That is a "flight" feeling.

Mr.F your ex sounds like she might have known you a little bit. You Scorpio Men are insufferable! 😏

I think when each person knows what the other is thinking and quite probably know that the argument has already been argued there is such tension .... this is what I mean.
I am not looking for a sweet, soft make out session. I am looking for some bruises to admire the next day. That is a paradox because I do not want an aggressive Man.

insufferable—?

Ok.... she's a lousy driver with a few accidents -

some time in 2010, in passing, in some discussion on FB, here is what I said to her:

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by FixedWater
ariette and Moon, The whole idea of being turned on when fighting with someone who you know you aren't safe with is much different. That is a "flight" feeling.

Mr.F your ex sounds like she might have known you a little bit. You Scorpio Men are insufferable! 😏

I think when each person knows what the other is thinking and quite probably know that the argument has already been argued there is such tension .... this is what I mean.
I am not looking for a sweet, soft make out session. I am looking for some bruises to admire the next day. That is a paradox because I do not want an aggressive Man.

insufferable—?

Ok.... she's a lousy driver with a few accidents -

some time in 2010, in passing, in some discussion on FB, here is what I said to her:

Need I say more? I think you made my point for me Mr.F 😄
Lmao Omg I laughed so hard at this.

Posted by arietteheart2
Ok, I can get on board wirh the frustration thing.

Like "if this mfer don't learn to put the toothpaste cap back on the toothpaste grrrr..." *goes and tackles him and squeezes his face while you reprimand him through closed teeth*

Cut a hole in the other end everytime he forgets? I bet that would cause some frustration. Lol

I think that probably one of the sexiest things is to have this brute of a man walking the line between pure raw sexual aggression and the need to make sure he does not hurt the woman that he loves. Maybe that is what it is...

Anything that crosses the line into abusive behavior isn't sexy or desired. I do not want to wake up the next day wondering if I should have gone to the hospital for the bruises I have.

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by FixedWater
ariette and Moon, The whole idea of being turned on when fighting with someone who you know you aren't safe with is much different. That is a "flight" feeling.

Mr.F your ex sounds like she might have known you a little bit. You Scorpio Men are insufferable! 😏

I think when each person knows what the other is thinking and quite probably know that the argument has already been argued there is such tension .... this is what I mean.
I am not looking for a sweet, soft make out session. I am looking for some bruises to admire the next day. That is a paradox because I do not want an aggressive Man.

insufferable—?

Ok.... she's a lousy driver with a few accidents -

some time in 2010, in passing, in some discussion on FB, here is what I said to her:

Need I say more? I think you made my point for me Mr.F 😄
Lmao Omg I laughed so hard at this.

click to expand

Glad you find it amusing.
Care to fill me in on your point? Because I am totally missing it.

Another times she has told me she wanted to drink Whiskey and Honey with me and
that I was the only one that poked her for so long.

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by FixedWater
ariette and Moon, The whole idea of being turned on when fighting with someone who you know you aren't safe with is much different. That is a "flight" feeling.

Mr.F your ex sounds like she might have known you a little bit. You Scorpio Men are insufferable! 😏

I think when each person knows what the other is thinking and quite probably know that the argument has already been argued there is such tension .... this is what I mean.
I am not looking for a sweet, soft make out session. I am looking for some bruises to admire the next day. That is a paradox because I do not want an aggressive Man.

insufferable—?

Ok.... she's a lousy driver with a few accidents -

some time in 2010, in passing, in some discussion on FB, here is what I said to her:

Need I say more? I think you made my point for me Mr.F 😄
Lmao Omg I laughed so hard at this.

Glad you find it amusing.
Care to fill me in on your point? Because I am totally missing it.

Another times she has told me she wanted to drink Whiskey and Honey with me and
that I was the only one that poked her for so long.

click to expand

I was being facetious Mr.F, just in good fun and meant no confusion.
I can understand her response to your video you sent to her in passing.

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by FixedWater
ariette and Moon, The whole idea of being turned on when fighting with someone who you know you aren't safe with is much different. That is a "flight" feeling.

Mr.F your ex sounds like she might have known you a little bit. You Scorpio Men are insufferable! 😏

I think when each person knows what the other is thinking and quite probably know that the argument has already been argued there is such tension .... this is what I mean.
I am not looking for a sweet, soft make out session. I am looking for some bruises to admire the next day. That is a paradox because I do not want an aggressive Man.

insufferable—?

Ok.... she's a lousy driver with a few accidents -

some time in 2010, in passing, in some discussion on FB, here is what I said to her:

Need I say more? I think you made my point for me Mr.F 😄
Lmao Omg I laughed so hard at this.

Glad you find it amusing.
Care to fill me in on your point? Because I am totally missing it.

Another times she has told me she wanted to drink Whiskey and Honey with me and
that I was the only one that poked her for so long.

I was being facetious Mr.F, just in good fun and meant no confusion.
I can understand her response to your video you sent to her in passing.

click to expand

That's what I would like to know.... what does that mean? ... sigh.. I lack understanding.

Posted by Reincarnation
Not if you disrespect me.

+1

insufferable—?

Ok.... she's a lousy driver with a few accidents -

some time in 2010, in passing, in some discussion on FB, here is what I said to her:

That's what I would like to know.... what does that mean? ... sigh.. I lack understanding.




Don't sigh, I think it means she has passionate feelings for you.
Do I understand that she said "I love you but want to choke you" after you sent the video to her in 2010? Is this your ex from 23 years ago?

Teasing all the way! Fighting...buh bye.

Posted by FixedWater

insufferable—?

Ok.... she's a lousy driver with a few accidents -

some time in 2010, in passing, in some discussion on FB, here is what I said to her:

That's what I would like to know.... what does that mean? ... sigh.. I lack understanding.

Don't sigh, I think it means she has passionate feelings for you.
Do I understand that she said "I love you but want to choke you" after you sent the video to her in 2010? Is this your ex from 23 years ago?



I don't know about the passionate feelings but yes this is the ol' gal.
From out of nowhere she had blurted out things like - I don't want an intimate relationship with you and
If you think we will ever get back together it's never gonna happen. when I might talking about something
else altogether different. - She kinda tweaked herself via alcohol and drugs.

I think deep down she passionately wants to kill me.

haha.
My Scorp says he doesn't like to fight but he loves it when I get mad. A few weeks ago, we got lost on the way somewhere and he was making fun of me for not navigating right and I lost my mind. I was screaming and calling him an asshole and then I refused to talk to him.

Yeah, he couldn't stop grinning.
Of course this makes me madder, not sure if this is a teacher thing or what, but it makes me want to just slap the smile off his face.

He said I don't understand what this does to him and he wished I got mad more often. lol.

Yeah, my ex? Scorp has told me he enjoys making me mad. Not hurting my feelings; just making me mad.

The feelings part is debatable.

Posted by capgirl69
haha.
My Scorp says he doesn't like to fight but he loves it when I get mad. A few weeks ago, we got lost on the way somewhere and he was making fun of me for not navigating right and I lost my mind. I was screaming and calling him an asshole and then I refused to talk to him.

Yeah, he couldn't stop grinning.
Of course this makes me madder, not sure if this is a teacher thing or what, but it makes me want to just slap the smile off his face.

He said I don't understand what this does to him and he wished I got mad more often. lol.

She called me an asshole, too.
Sure wish I could laugh at her like your scorp laughs at you. But I don't. I try to be nice calm and cool about it.
Pretty much the same way I am here online. - if it gets too hot, I go for a drive.

Mr.F... I have done that very thing to someone that caused me a great deal of grief. I had very intense feelings for him as he did for me but he was the most confused Man I had ever met. Come here, no Go away, no wait...come here. Oh hang on.. go away.
The Hot and Cold scenario caused so much confusion for me that I really did feel like passionately strangling him. Lol.

I can tell in one second when I see my ex from 20 years ago, exactly what he has on his mind.

It's unfortunate she went down that road.

I need to lay down a bit. my hearts bothering me a bit.

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by capgirl69
haha.
My Scorp says he doesn't like to fight but he loves it when I get mad. A few weeks ago, we got lost on the way somewhere and he was making fun of me for not navigating right and I lost my mind. I was screaming and calling him an asshole and then I refused to talk to him.

Yeah, he couldn't stop grinning.
Of course this makes me madder, not sure if this is a teacher thing or what, but it makes me want to just slap the smile off his face.

He said I don't understand what this does to him and he wished I got mad more often. lol.

She called me an asshole, too.
Sure wish I could laugh at her like your scorp laughs at you. But I don't. I try to be nice calm and cool about it.
Pretty much the same way I am here online. - if it gets too hot, I go for a drive.

click to expand

If HE is the one who is mad, it is definitely not a laughing matter or something that would turn him on. He probably would behave the same as you. He got really upset with me once and he left the house. He couldn't even be around.

I usually am the same way. If I get upset, I will just clam up or go out. It's rare that I will actually blow up like that- but this time, we were in a car, there was no where for me to go, and there was nothing at stake so he was free to laugh at me causing a scene. Now I'm sure if I was acting like that in public (will NEVER happen, I'm a Capricorn, lol), it would probably be a different story.

I usually will start yelling here when I get really overwhelmed. He likes it because he can swoop in and save the day, because that is what he really wants, to make me happy.

Posted by MrFirebird
I think deep down she passionately wants to kill me.

Love and hate are two sides of a passionate coin. 😛

Posted by MrFirebird
I need to lay down a bit. my hearts bothering me a bit.

😢

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
bruises from play wrestling (or fun stuff in bed)....okay.

bruises because someone lost their temper.....not okay.

Yes, Agreed. The line is pretty clear.

... but it isn't, is it? If I am mad and he is mad and we tear up the house cause we are mad...?

It's a fine line.

And topic-dependent-- but I *think* I get what you mean.

Also-- if you're fighting over something, and some (happy) much-needed truth comes out, it can be pivotal.

And binding.

The way you fight can make or break you, as a couple.

Not everyone 'communicates' in the same way.

🙂

Posted by Reincarnation
Not if you disrespect me.

click to expand

The fine line ^^

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by Andalusia
Yeah, my ex? Scorp has told me he enjoys making me mad. Not hurting my feelings; just making me mad.

The feelings part is debatable.

I'm sorry but fuck that. These two are the same in my book.

Shit I'm getting mad just imagining this. The only thing that this turns on is my Pluto-Moon desire to mark and burn someone who would do such a thing.

click to expand

They're the same thing to me too. That's why I was confused when he said it. :/

Lol, believe me, i would if I knew where he was. He's been MIA for going on a month. Maybe it's "to make me mad". Who knows.

Posted by Andalusia
Yeah, my ex? Scorp has told me he enjoys making me mad. Not hurting my feelings; just making me mad.

The feelings part is debatable.

That's because Virgo anger is hilarious.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Andalusia
Yeah, my ex? Scorp has told me he enjoys making me mad. Not hurting my feelings; just making me mad.

The feelings part is debatable.

That's because Virgo anger is hilarious.

click to expand

I shouldn't laugh, but it really is. 😆

No when you say or do mean things because of it 😢


Side note. Not really relevant. But the table behind me at dinner is obviously a new boyfriend meeting the GF's parents for the first time. And the new boyfriend sounds EXACTLY like Mr. Rogers.

And then the dad started talking - and he did too!

Also, the children (early twenties) had NO idea who Jack White was!! Wtf?!

Oh nevermind. It's not a parent meeting.. They are all from different countries. I have no idea what the relation is.

Did over hear a funny anecdote though. The lady was recounting the first time she stayed in Europe - possibly France? And she went to the front desk to ask if any if their rooms had air conditioning..

And the lady at the front desk just kind of scoffed at her and said "Of course we have 'air conditioning! All our rooms have 'air conditioning! It is in the toilet, right next to the 'air shampoo!!"

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Andalusia
Yeah, my ex? Scorp has told me he enjoys making me mad. Not hurting my feelings; just making me mad.

The feelings part is debatable.

That's because Virgo anger is hilarious.

I shouldn't laugh, but it really is. 😆

click to expand

It's seriously like someone following you around in a high pitched voice and listing all the faults you had, have or will have. It's hilarious.

At the height of our anger, the sarcasm is hilarious.

Posted by Andalusia
Did over hear a funny anecdote though. The lady was recounting the first time she stayed in Europe - possibly France? And she went to the front desk to ask if any if their rooms had air conditioning..

And the lady at the front desk just kind of scoffed at her and said "Of course we have 'air conditioning! All our rooms have 'air conditioning! It is in the toilet, right next to the 'air shampoo!!"

lol

But yeah Mel, when we lose it, we seriously lose it.

It's the most unmanageable emotion for Virgos. The rest are easy peasy.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Andalusia
Yeah, my ex? Scorp has told me he enjoys making me mad. Not hurting my feelings; just making me mad.

The feelings part is debatable.

That's because Virgo anger is hilarious.

I shouldn't laugh, but it really is. 😆

It's seriously like someone following you around in a high pitched voice and listing all the faults you had, have or will have. It's hilarious.

At the height of our anger, the sarcasm is hilarious.

click to expand

Yes!! This EXACTLY! My ex best friend (virgo) who took the ex's side and...well, you get the picture...went on one of those rants with me late last year when I tracked her down to see if there was any validity to her "I miss you and care about you" comments in text while the other side of her would then verbally turn on me and lie about me behind my back. Her reaction to actually seeing me in person was the moment I knew without a doubt that she didn't care: pure venom, until she caught herself. Then the high pitched ranting at me and "how could you do this, you've destroyed your life! He's not so bad..." on and on and on. I was actually rather amused on a deeper and less detached level, as she told me not to yell at her in front of her kids and I hadn't raised my voice once, despite her yelling at me. I only wish I could have taped her....ridiculously funny!

The hurt to find the truth of her "friendship" Cancer part of me was less amused. I simply, calmly and COLDLY told her I wished I had never met her and that she was no longer a friend, but was now forever dead to me. I then turned and walked away and ignored the rest of her rant.