How to tell Scorpio man you're not in the mood

How in the world do you tell your Scorpio man you are just not in the mood to have sex without hurting his feelings or simply having him get pissed off? He wants it morning, noon, and night, and of course I wish I did too, but I just don't. Sometimes I give it up just to make him happy, but if he figures this out, he gets upset. We have argued over the fact that he always wants it and I am sorry, I don't think it is as important to have sex at every opportune moment. I love him very much, and do NOT want to argue over this or anything else. We very rarely argue, but seems more so lately, usually over sex. I can't fake passion all the time. I can't even kiss him or be very affectionate without it turning into him wanting to have sex. And if I don't want to right then, he gets upset. I am single mom with 2 kids, so we only see each other every other weekend (alone) and then spend night together in house with kids once or twice else during the month. The norm has been that we have sex at least twice a day, preferably more for him, and I am getting worn out. We have dated almost 2 years. He spent night at my house last night, we had sex after kids asleep, then this morning we tried, but I just wasn't into it. We got into argument and he left. UGH!!@!!!~

Actually, it's more like 5 or 6 extra nights per month plus a few lunch "dates", and our weekends are Fri-Mon. So we are together about 10-12 nights per month plus the extra quickies. If we meet during the day, sex is usually had or else he doesn't "count" it as time spent with me.

I don't know anything about mars. I'm a Cancer, and read that Cancer woman/Scorpio man is a great match, and it has proven to be true except lately the sex issue.

My Mars in Sagitarius, his in Virgo. Birth times are unknown.

My question was "How do you tell him you're not in the mood without upsetting him?" He said to just tell him I loved him, but just wasn't in the mood, but I've tried that and he got upset anyway. Not like MAD, just irritated and short with me. Like loudly going in the other room and not talking and acting like a baby in my opinion. Saying "I don't want you to have sex with me just because I want to, just to make me happy. I want YOU to want to have sex with me." But when I don't WANT to, it makes him upset. It's making me mad too, thinking this will go on and on and only get worse with time.

Thanks. We are early 40s. I just reached my sexual peak after meeting him, so maybe my peak is over after a year and a half. — And he is in for disappointment.

We have already discussed this, and I don't try to "deny" it, and never would I withhold it for selfish reasons, just aren't always in mood. I guess I just have to get some of those supplemental pills you see at all the convenience store counters!!! Thanks for all the comments.

sex addict.

once a week is plenty.

Posted by AA
once a week is plenty.

If I could slap you for that I would...

My mars is in Virgo too and it doesn't keep me from wanting it every day... and more. :p

Doubtful, I think Scorpios are just very sexual and passionate. I'm sure not all sex addicts are Scorpios, although that would be an interesting study!

Sorry, the previous message was intended for "Sex addict" from the first page. I didn't realize it had already gone to two pages!!!!!!

To Kali:

WOW! That is great advice, thank you so much, I am sure that's just what he needs!

It's so "on the tee" when you say have I flirted with anyone else. When we met, I met also his 4,000,000 other friends, and in the first few weeks we all got drunk and I put ice down one of his friends' shirts, just playing around, not trying to be flirty. But I was made well aware that that kind of behavior was NOT acceptable. He told me, his friends mentioned it, and after that, I was fine with it. He said any kind of playful behavior with the opposite sex was disrespecful to our relationship, and after a bit of "WHAT—?", I totally agreed that it was really kindof true. I do not hug his friends, be playful with them, or anything that would make him feel like I was disrespecting him.

Anyway, I would like to say to anyone who is ready to date a Scorpio, do NOT flirt, even without intentions, with any of his friends!!!!!!!!!

You're right. I don't know your slang "butter", I am in my 40s, but I feel what you're saying. I am so glad I found this site this morning! It has been very helpful to understand more what HE is feeling.

Wait, but you are a scorpio woman, correct? That's different. A Scorpio man is different than a Scorpio woman. In either case, I can't personnally imagine wanting to have sex ALL THE TIME. What time is left to get to know each other besides under the sheets. We often have gaps in our conversation. OFTEN. And I can only feel like it's because we're not having sex at the moment, and our relationship revolves around sex. Unless, of course, we are drinking, which makes everyone more talkative and easy-going. Wow, wish I was always horny too. It would make things just PERFECT, huh?

I'm not really annoyed by it, I knew what I was getting into when I found out he was a Scorpio. I knew he was one of supposedly my 3 most compatible signs, but had just never known a Scorpio; only the other two signs. I was very intrigued. We have great times. I needed adult companionship (single mom thing), and he makes me feel very protected, wanted, desired, and has lots of fun things to do, like a boat, harley, ATV, all things I never would have imagined I could enjoy. Dont' get me wrong, I'm not using him for his toys, but once drawn to him, they increased the fun! It all started like fun: bonfires, friends (his), atv, boat, motorcycle, sex. I didn't have sex with him the first or second date. He could not believe it, but said he so respected me for that. I felt like I was living the saying "life starts at 40". We fell in love, love, love, love. Then it gets seriouser and seriouser (I know, nice grammar) and I have 2 kids involved and am scared for months to mesh things. But they are now meshed. The kids love him, and he says he loves them. But he is a Scorpio bachelor and is not used to kids, and is used to having control of his home, I am scared to lose my control of my own home/kids to him. I am very cautious and do not want to do this.... I just want it to stay the same, me in my house, him in his. But he is so good to me. I am so confused. I have never had a connection like this in my life, but he is also a complainer about EVERYTHING in his job, health, living situation, neighbors. It brings me down, I don't need this negativity. I just wish he was more happy and cheerful, but I guess that's his choice to be in the negative moods he is always complaining about. Sorry, I'm upset and rambling and crying, I have kids to think of and they are more important than him. I sound cold, but i am very emotional and often sound cold when I am trying to protect my feelings. I am a Cancer and do hide in my crab shell by being cold. He hates that. That's my self-protection. It is my coping mechanism. I don't know what to do. Whaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. boo hoo boo hoo blah blah WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope I can erase this tomorrow!!!!!!!!!

Ok remember, we cant generalize all scorps. They are not the same due to different planets such as moon and mars in astro charts.

Have you always had a kind of low sex drive, Seabolt? If that happens to be the case, you should have never gotten involved with the scorp SO.

No matter how much you may love someone, sexual compatibility is an extremely important in a relationship. You've put yourself and hubby through unnecessary pain by being together if the lower sex drive was always there.

Yes, it is the hubby's responsibility to do foreplay. And maybe help out more with household activities so you're not too tired for sex.

I honestly think leaving the relationship should be a strong consideration. If a girl Im dating is just cute, low sex drive is not a problem for me. I dont mind having sex once a week or every two in THAT type of situation.

NOW, if I have a strong physical attraction to a girl, their sex drive better be high or close to mine. I cant handle dating hot girls with low libidos. That's the first thing I screen for once we've been intimate - (kissed)

It does help if I know a girls astro chart. I may hook up for a fling, but generally avoid hot women who have a ton of air in chart aka (Sun In Leo with Moon, mars in Gemini. Cause a lot of air in chart lowers someones sex drive.

High sex drive is a requirement for a long term relationship if a gal is extremely sexy. I dont want to waste a girl's or my time if the compatibility isnt there.

Dont put yourself or SO through any more pain. Cut it off so you and him can find partners who are compatible. True love cant survive without sexual compatibility for a Scorpio with a high libido.

Sorry, looking back at my post I meant to say Significant Other, not Hubby. My mistake.

Damn, that felt good! Thanks for listening to me vent!!!!!

Messages are coming in so fast, I can't keep up. We do not live together, so no household chores. He lives 30 miles away, for Pete's sake. He comes to my house and is bored with nothing to do (except sex). I go to his house and am very relaxed because there is nothing I HAVE TO DO excpet make food, which I love, and have fun, and sex, and no kids to worry about. Why do you think he doesn't come to my house more———

I am a Cancer

I am very wishy washy

I am afraid to commit!!! I think he knows this for sure. And I think it's driving him crazy.

We are going to talk tomorrow night. I don't know if he is going to leave me or not, but I'm pretty sure he isn't. But sadly, I don't think I would be devastated if he did.

I have always been the person who broke up with someone. So if he breaks up, I will be totally shocked, but not hurt too bad. Life goes on.

I think it was my dad's fault, he always made me get rid of my cats when I was young, like if they pooped in his shoe, so I have never made attachments to people (or pets) since then.

God, did I just say that? I am crying my eyes out. I don't need this crap, but yet, I just said that? Obviously hiding in my shell.

Whoever you are, you are brilliant. This day has made me more aware of my feelings than in the last I don't know how long.

LOL!!!!!!!!! Good NIHGT.

TELLING A SCORPIO MAN THAT YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD IS LIKE DIVIDING BY 0
lol jokes just tell him and he'll understand? i would accept it..

Posted by seabolt1
How in the world do you tell your Scorpio man you are just not in the mood to have sex without hurting his feelings ...

You teach him how to give you squirting orgasms.
( message me for details - 3 sure-fire ways )

This will make you more interested in sex. 🙂

When he does it ... he wins ... and so do you.
When he does not ... you get to refuse his next advance
until he "makes good" at the next "meeting".

Make it a game he'll like to play ... and so will you.

But apart from that... be happy there is someone
who wants to have sex with a single mother your age
with 2 kids and spread your legs and shut up...

...because ....


If what Scorpio giveth is not wanted
Scorpio may taketh away ...

...or giveteh the half you don't want
to someone else. *wink*

"But apart from that... be happy there is someone
who wants to have sex with a single mother your age
with 2 kids and spread your legs and shut up..."

That doesn't sound like a chick... Except maybe something that could come out of my mouth lol Wise words anyway.

To tooseriouslol, You gave me a lot of insight into my feeling with that said! I think I know what to say now. We didn't really get time to talk last night, with kids here, so we're still really awkward and tension in the air. At least we don't live together. We talked on the phone this morning and talked about the fact that we didn't have our "talk" last night, so I'm glad we didn't, was maybe waiting to hear and realize what you said is probably the root of all the problems. He complains about everything that he has, and does not stop to realize all that he has! It is VERY ANNOYING that he seems thankful for nothing.

Wow. We just had our talk on the phone. It went terribly. He got very sarcastic about my feelings, saying he didn't know he was such a terrible person. I just said he was very negative about things in general (went into detail) and that it was mentally wearing me out, not sexy. We talked for an hour. He basically said that everything came down to being his fault (sarcastically), that nothing was my fault, that he has a stressful life, and that all he asks from me is some love-making, that is his release from all his stress. I said well, when all I hear is negativity from you, it is not a good form of foreplay. He basically snickered at that, saying that I can say all these bad things about him, but he doesn't think that it is the problem of our sex. I said this conversation was not going anywhere and was trying to get off the phone. He said he didn't want to hang up mad, but I said how else could this conv end, we need to sleep on what has been said and think about it and talk maybe tomorrow. "MAYBE" TOMORROW (I may need a break) he said. He felt like I was bringing up alot of things that I hadn't mentioned before. I said maybe you need to hear it, and tomorrow you can make your list about me. He said his list about me would probably make me break up with him. Well, there you go. I said if there are so many things, I can't change any of them if I am never told about them. At least you know about EVERYTHING about you that has been bothering me now. I didn't hold back for the most part. I said maybe we need to fight every now and then to get these things out instead of holding them in.

We'll see what happens. I was very disappointed with his brushing off my feelings that I opened up to him, and told him so. As i said, we'll see. Whatever. I am mentally drained again... not something I want for my life or my kids. UGH!

As far as the comments from the idiot about spreading my legs, I honestly did not take that as anything but an idiot being a stupid punk. It didn't bother me, so don't anyone have to take up for me for that. Thanks anyway. I am as hot as Courtney Cox on Cougar Town.

Posted by seabolt1
As far as the comments from the idiot about spreading my legs, I honestly did not take that as anything but an idiot being a stupid punk. It didn't bother me, so don't anyone have to take up for me for that. Thanks anyway. I am as hot as Courtney Cox on Cougar Town.

I shot the truth to you straight.
You're here complaining that someone wants to
have sex with you "too much". There are millions
of women who wish they had it so good.

If he SUCKS in bed ... I can see why you may not
be desirous of it. But ...

However, I did miss the part about his constant
bitching and complaints about "everything".

I think you should tell him that you 'd be
more interested in sex if he was not such a
downer - a negative person - all the time/

Unfortunately, it won't likely CHANGE
so you're maybe better off without him.


PS. Please note that Courtney Cox is
no longer considered a sex symbol and
has been pretty much forgotten by the
media.

Well, I think she's hot. She's my age anyway.

He did text me this morning that he tried to put himself in my shoes and he was sorry and could understand, and can see how he looks selfish. He said he loves me and misses me. He said making love is the only/best way he really knows to show love or feel loved.

I figured if he got off the phone and had time to be quiet and let what I said really sink in, he would get it better. I have still been hurting all day by him attacking me back when I attacked him, but that only makes since that he would. I would have too. Now I'm getting over it and am ready to talk to him again. He really is a great guy, just needs to cheer up BEFORE sex to get me in the mood. Grumpy and sulky and whiny just doesn't do it for ANY woman, I wouldn't think.

Thanks to all! I'm glad I found this website the other day.

Posted by AA
once a week is plenty.

You are my new favorite person for that comment ^_^. Actually, once a week is plenty lol!!! I mean damn it I'm busy!!!! lol

On a serious note seabolt1, if you are sore or whatever, tell him that he needs to calm down

Simple, some people don't like to screw around all the time like that. I don't think anything is wrong with you but there's is a such thing as too much :/ hahaha, I know this is the scorpio board and all but whatever, too much is too much.

I've been 2 guys like that, wanted to screw around all the time like I was some god damn horse to be rode ... all the time.

No way, some people like fucking like that, some don't. He does need to know that though. I got upset with a guy and left him after he wanted to screw again in the morning after we just finished hours ago :/ :/ :/ I was sore but he didn't care, so I left ... yeah he was upset but I felt better 😉

Posted by cappysweetie

Posted by AA
once a week is plenty.

You are my new favorite person for that comment ^_^. Actually, once a week is plenty lol!!! I mean damn it I'm busy!!!! lol

click to expand

Offer retracted for cause. lol

Posted by DyTryin

How to tell Scorpio man you're not in the mood

CLOSE.

YOUR.

THIGHS.

That works if she doesn't care if she keeps him or not. lol