I think I figured out the Scorpio scorn

Some of you posted in my other thread "Scorpio gone silent" that the I should not have emailed him telling him about the guy who was stalking me on the dating site. I just put 2 and 2 together now, and I think he is jealous that I was talking with another guy there, which is obviously how the stalker came to know me. Scorp and I decided to be only friends after he admitted his divorce isnt final yet, however, he did ask me would I be open to exploring where our relationship could go through friendship. I took it to mean we will be internet/phone friends only and that is not a commitment.

So, I relly F*d up by telling him I had spoken to another man on the site. I really am not used to this overwhelming connection to a scorpio, how jealous and possesive he must be. He has shown only a small amount of it, so I believe him to be an evolved scorp. The day I emailed him about the guy scaring me, was when his shut down began. So I am being punished. Honestly, though I dont think I can not date other men, when I have no commitment with him.

What to do??

Yes that is a problem, I mean, to put my heart into something like a non divorce man and have potential forheart break. Yuck. I do wish he would not have frozen me out, but I can think of no other reason that jealously. He made comment in an email about the guy "Not a good idea to chat with a guy whose name you cannot pronounce". The guy is Israeli and wierd name. I thought he was joking....I think his silent scorn, and push-me/pill me chat invites are revenge.

I do agree with you that although a person is still married, they may be "over" their ex and ready to move on. I met and fell in love with a man while seperated several years ago, getting divorced a year after. As I write this, I am seeing that I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

I am not sure where he and I stand, however, as this issue with him pulling away, inviting me to chat online, then being a no show. I think he is jealous about my speaking to the other guy on the dating site. Poop...why does this have to be so challenging?

I am so unfamiliar with the thinking of a scoprio mind, that I had no idea how it would affect him my telling about the stalker guy. I sent him a loving, friendly but short email last night. Kept it light and sunny. Hope it will help in the mending. I just gotta learn how sensitive he is, despite showing that tough exterior.

You can block me at any time, LadyLeo, but I think you wanted to make him jealous. There was no reason in the world to tell him about a 'stalker'. None. I think you assumed it would make him more interested in you. Instead, it backfired so now you're trying to be sweet again to reel him back in.

Really consider your motivations. You may totally disagree with me, but give it some thought.

Whether anyone here believes me or not, I truly had no ill intention to manipulate him or make him jealous in the slightest. I am 46 years old, have worked a 12 step recovery program for 22 years, I have worked very diligently to lose my character defects that harm myself and others; such as being deceitful, manipulattive, arouse jealously to pump my own ego. I was scared shyteless with this stalker, he found my personal online blog and was sending me frightening messages. I shared it with the scorpio man because I was afraid. I was reaching out to him. I had no idea it would hurt him, or make him so damn jealous. I am not a jealous person myself, and people should not judge my motives and intentions based soley on my astrological sign of being a drama inducing leo.

I have known this scorp man for a month, and in that time I have shared a great deal of personal information and he with me. I have earned his respect as a woman of integrity and played no games.

Ok. What did you expect the Scorpio to do about it then? Thats not a rhetorical question and I'm in no way trying to be a bitch. If that was your genuine intent, what did you think he was going to do? How could he have helped you? Don't you think it would have made more sense to talk to someone close to you about this if you were truly scared? What did you expect from a man you've only known for a month who is going through major issues of his own?

Its ok to have character 'defects', LadyLeo. Its a part of being human. Being aware of them (so you can manage them) will do you more good than trying to make them disappear. Thats just unrealistic.

Posted by Shadows
Its ok to have character 'defects', LadyLeo. Its a part of being human. Being aware of them (so you can manage them) will do you more good than trying to make them disappear. Thats just unrealistic.

Improving my character means identifying those that are defecting it and working towards replace defects with assests.

If your refrigerator has a defective coil, causing it to make it run warm, not cold, are you going to just leave it there and just be *aware* of it. You will have warm beverages and rotten food.

Replacing the coil with one that WORKS, improves the problem. Can you relate to this analogy?

Posted by Shadows
Ok. What did you expect the Scorpio to do about it then? Thats not a rhetorical question and I'm in no way trying to be a bitch. If that was your genuine intent, what did you think he was going to do? How could he have helped you? Don't you think it would have made more sense to talk to someone close to you about this if you were truly scared? What did you expect from a man you've only known for a month who is going through major issues of his own?

Offer empathy, of which is is great at. Someone to talk to about it. For Gods sake, you all make it sound as if I should spend 24 hours a day thinking only of this guys needs and walking on egg shells to avoid hurting his scorpion feelings? He is a grown man, his insecure jealousy is HIS problem. I wont walk on egg shells for anyone. Thats horse shit.

Posted by Shadows
You can block me at any time, LadyLeo, but I think you wanted to make him jealous. There was no reason in the world to tell him about a 'stalker'. None. I think you assumed it would make him more interested in you. Instead, it backfired so now you're trying to be sweet again to reel him back in.

Really consider your motivations. You may totally disagree with me, but give it some thought.

Why would I block you? You and your opinion have no significance in my life. Opine all you like, hun!

Walking away does seem like the logical thing to do at this point, doesn't it? Unfortunately, I think she'd rather find a way to control him.

Posted by ellessque
...and that will never happen.

Miss Ladyleo, you only have one month invested in this soul. absorb what you've learned and let go.

I have made the decision to let go. Thanks!

Just wanted to give an update to any future woman who has experienced a situation similar to mine:

Last night the scorp emailed me the letter below:


"May you find... the love of your life and the joy you seek and deserve. I was going to honor your email request that said don't contact you, but given your last email here I had to respond.
I wont get into the specifics of what has been going on in my life.. frankly it's irrelevent and just not your problem. But I do want you to know that I think you are a marvelous woman, sexy as can be and I sincerely hope and pray you find that man of your dreams. Though your compliments are both appreciated and totally embarrasing, I guarantee I won't be directing anyone to the vids of me. It was a goofy thing to do and it's a little too narcassistic for me to feel good about it.
Anyways, I hope you have a great holiday and hope all is well with you and your son. Good luck in your search and all the best in love, family, work and life!
My best, XXXX"

So, I am left confused. We agreed to be friends, then he played the "lets chat then no show" game. Clearly he is troubled by life, and it is obviously time to move on. Just hurts.

A note: The vid's refer to some video's of himself that he sent me previously.

He asks to continue our friendship to see where it may go, take it slow, "keep the connection" his words. Asking to meet him for chats, 3 times, then no-shows each time, yet sending chatty emails talking about everything EXCEPT the no shows. When I email saying goodbye, no reply for 2 days, then this last email.

Nah...no reason to be confused.

Posted by ellessque
all of that happened prior to your good bye email, right?

so, you said goodbye, he said goodbye.

i still don't see the confusion.

Yes it did. The reason I said goodbye was due to his actions not matching his words "Meet me to chat" then blow me off, then chatty emails about nothing. Thats not sending me mixed messages? When I saw that his behavior was rude, to say the least, disturbing to say the most, I said goodbye.

He didnt seem the least bit interested in explaining why the "meet me-no show" game. I guess most scoprio men dont feel theneed to explain anything. That goes beyond a persona astrological sign. Its just plain rude behavior. He did the typical male scorpio drama inducing game...lustful, overwhelming pursuit of a woman, then bail. Obviously the disturbance is within him, however, the consequential pain is left on others.

Ellessque,

As I just your other thread about your cap man wanting to be *just friends*, you seem to be in a great deal of pain with that. Why? Like my scorp, he said what he meant, so why not accept it? Is it possible his actions dont match HIS words, leaving YOU in confusion?

Maybe your cappy man actions say he is really into you, maybe even loves you, but his words say "just friends"? Wouldnt that leave you so confused?

This scorp mans WORDS to me where "Would you still continue our friendship to see where this will lead, slowly". I said yes. He knew I wanted a romantic relationship prior, as I told him. When he said he needed to sort out his divorce and get his head together, I totally accepted it, choose friendship and put my feelings on the back burner.
It was then he retreated to silence, coming out to email/request chat dates, then no-showed. I cannot read his mind, maybe he saw I was *too* detached, no longer coming on to him, and being a platonic friend only. If thats what we agreed to, why play the cat and mouse chat-no show game? Why the dramatic "May you find all you are looking for" email below?

Asking why about a scorpio male is the equivilent of having an itch for which there is no scratch.

Posted by ellessque
what is there to be confused about?

he explained his behavior, he complimented you and told you to have a nice life.

i'm so confused. he's leaving in a very undramatic fashion. what did you want? no response so you could be pissed and confused.

there is really nothing this man can do to ever satisfy you.

and people say scorp's thrive on drama? *shrugs*

undramatic is right....

Posted by LadyLeo

Posted by ellessque
all of that happened prior to your good bye email, right?

so, you said goodbye, he said goodbye.

i still don't see the confusion.

Yes it did. The reason I said goodbye was due to his actions not matching his words "Meet me to chat" then blow me off, then chatty emails about nothing. Thats not sending me mixed messages? When I saw that his behavior was rude, to say the least, disturbing to say the most, I said goodbye.

He didnt seem the least bit interested in explaining why the "meet me-no show" game. I guess most scoprio men dont feel theneed to explain anything. That goes beyond a persona astrological sign. Its just plain rude behavior. He did the typical male scorpio drama inducing game...lustful, overwhelming pursuit of a woman, then bail. Obviously the disturbance is within him, however, the consequential pain is left on others.

click to expand

hmm, i gotta say that if the "meet me to chat" problem has you disturbed and you find THAT behavior to be rude than, i dont think this is the man for you. i mean this is childs play. why dont your bring it up if it bothers you this much? actually the disturbance isnt within him. hes perfectly normal. i think the problem is that your thoughts on how a relationship should progress differs from his. you sound very ruffled about his lack of attentiveness with the phone thing. he obviously hit a nerve early on. scorpios are sooo clever. if he knows that this is a sore spot for you, hes going to keep hitting that button to get a reaction out of you. could be for his own enjoyment or he wants to see the real you.

i agree with poster who says to "move on" and be done. if this little situation has you heated and ready to bail, you are not the type of woman that he desires.

Posted by ellessque
what is there to be confused about?

he explained his behavior, he complimented you and told you to have a nice life.

i'm so confused. he's leaving in a very undramatic fashion. what did you want? no response so you could be pissed and confused.

there is really nothing this man can do to ever satisfy you.

and people say scorp's thrive on drama? *shrugs*

there is really nothing this man can do to ever satisfy you.

@ellessque, this seems to be the case doesnt it.

Posted by Kali
I can't figure out what there is to be confused about either. You told him good-bye, he didn't try to argue with you about it, was very non-dramatic and accepting of your good-bye, and wished you well in life. I wish all of my relationships that end could end in that fashion. lol It would make it so much easier to deal with.

haha @ladyleo...you should see the way my scorp breaks up with me. it aint as pretty as your well wishes.