Letter to scorpios sister

After talking to scorpio I realized I offended his sister and she seemed really cool so I'd rather not be on bad terms with her cus some of her friends are my mutual friends so I'll probably see her again. This is the letter I wrote to her... if anyone has any tweaking they'd like to do just mention it please. I'm going to be sending this via fb msg


"I just wanted to appologize for my first impression. It probably didn't sit well with you that I was late and I'm very sorry I wasn't
able to be there on time like I'd wanted due to family stuff and being farther out then usual.

I hope the fact that I wasn't as talkative didn't ruin your impression of me. I'm a bit shy and it takes me a little
while to warm up to people. You seem like a really fun person and if I ever met you again I'd like to start off on the right foot."

my 2 cents suggest you not assume how she felt, so scratch the *it probably didnt sit well..." part. Just use *I* messgages..say how YOU feel/felt and take responsibility for being late (if thats the offense).

Apologies should be made about the other person, how they were harmed and your regret for it. Not you concern for her liking you...that makes it about you and your need to be approved of. You always want that person to be left with the feeling that you apologized because you really feel badly for hurting them. Good luck.

"I just wanted to apologize for my first impression and being late. I wasn't able to be there on time like
I'd wanted due to family stuff and being farther out then usual.

I hope the fact that I wasn't as talkative didn't ruin your impression of me. I'm a bit shy and it takes me a little
while to warm up to people. You seem like a really fun person and if I ever met you again I'd like to start off on the right foot."


Is this better?

Looks good to me....sincerity is important. I hope she accepts it well.

Posted by Nemesis
were you dating the scorp or his sister? i just don't understand the effort....

if you were still together i could stand the need for apologizing....well i suppose we all deal with loss in our own ways...

It's just common curtoesy. I may meet her again and I'd like to be on good terms with her. Maybe it's the sag in me, but I don't like it when things aren't right.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Looks good to me....sincerity is important. I hope she accepts it well.

Thank you..

shes a gem...idk if this changes anything. She's pretty easy going from what I've seen, but my main concern is that the letter
will be too much

Posted by DazedScorp
Personally, I think the family owes Kit an apology.

And that's for judging her before they even met her.

I would be a lot less inclined to meet them, show up on time, or even talk to them knowing that they did that to me.

You know what Kit?

Change that whole letter to just two words...

Fuck You

I agree his parents should have never judged me on a "fb" basis. But his sister was willing to accept me so I want to apologize
to her at least.

I sent the letter. I wanted to make sure it was sent before I left for the night cus I don't plan on being back till tom morning.

I said a little prayer before hand and added "sincerely" followed by my name so hopefully at the very least this makes her realize I'm not just some rude person and I'm only shy :/ Damn my shyness

Posted by DazedScorp
A shy Saggy?

I'm convinced that you and I belong together Kit

It's all that scorpio in me

We could be meant to be. Maybe I should head out there after all

The letter as edited sounds good to me. The rest of his family can eat a dick for judging you before they met you, but if the sister is cool and didn't do that, and chances are you will run into her in the future, it seems like a classy move.

As long as you aren't doing it with the ulterior motive of convincing her bro to change his mind ... if so you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by Nemesis
what for? getting on good terms with the sister will get you back together with mr. scorp?

Possibly...

I still hate and would likely kill my brother in law because of the first impression he gave me (breaking into my best friends car)

I don't care how much he has changed and how much he has his life on track...

He has yet to apologize to me.

And it's been so long, and I've been wating for so long...I will never accept it now.

click to expand

The fuck?
And your sister married this asshat?
*slow claps*

Posted by DazedScorp
And had a child with him...

And now that my parents have their grandbaby, guess who is starting to feel cast out of the family?

Moi

Okay so at family functions, please do this? .... for me? ...
Bounce your little niece/ nephew on your knee and sing to it in a really happy sing-songy voice, "I hope you don't turn out to be a thug like your dad-deeeee .... I hope you don't grow up and break into cars Iike your dad-deeeee ..... I hope you never turn into a common criminal like your dad-deeeee ..."

Posted by DazedScorp
You have never really struck me as a Saggy...

You're rather watery for a fire chick.

I would of guessed Pisces

You know sometimes I do feel like a pisces, but I'm not lovely dovey enough anymore to really count as a pisces.

I feel very logical at times...like a virgo...but I also feel split in two cus I have that emotional side. Damn gem asc making me two people I guess

Posted by AutumnalChick
The letter as edited sounds good to me. The rest of his family can eat a dick for judging you before they met you, but if the sister is cool and didn't do that, and chances are you will run into her in the future, it seems like a classy move.

As long as you aren't doing it with the ulterior motive of convincing her bro to change his mind ... if so you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Thanks I felt it was classy too. I'd like to kinda turn over a new leaf this year and become a little more considerate instead of not caring all the time. Especially because I'll be graduating soon and looking into grad schools and internships.

I don't like the idea of doing stuff like that for ulterior motives. I'm never sneaky or manipulative. I'd feel too bad afterwards. Lol my poker face is terrible. If I do something it's because I generally care about someone and I want to make sure things are cool.
That being said if him and I do remain friends I want him to realize that the things he judged me on are not who I am completely. This has happened before and people seem to judge me too soon...I make a lot of mistakes, but it would be nice if people gave me a break. Scorpios can be so harsh and set on what they think about you. I know cus I've had to live with one for 22 years.

Posted by GemFiregrl1978

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by DazedScorp
You have never really struck me as a Saggy...

You're rather watery for a fire chick.

I would of guessed Pisces

You know sometimes I do feel like a pisces, but I'm not lovely dovey enough anymore to really count as a pisces.

I feel very logical at times...like a virgo...but I also feel split in two cus I have that emotional side. Damn gem asc making me two people I guess

Lol at damn Gem asc😄
I have Gem sun AND ascendant!!!!Try 4 people at once,hahahahhaha.

Anyways,have you heard back from sis?

click to expand

I can only imagine having that much gem. I don't mind them at all. I've actually dated a few so they're not bad.

Nah. Of course it's New Years and everyone was out. I just got back a while ago myself and personally for me I generally don't look at my PM until I can sit down and answer them or at least read them with thought behind it, so I'm not worried if it takes her a while. That being said I'm sure if she doesn't respond back I'll hear about it from the scorpio because they are very close.

I talked to him some last night, but I'm not sure if I'm going to keep up the friendship or just cut him out completely. I've totally cut out my other exes and now I may just cut him out cus I don't want to talk about exes anymore with my future SO's. That was one of the things that really got to scorpio and it's something that can really ruin a relationship. Damn my openness and honesty.

Anyway it's not fair to the next person I date so who know...if I do I'll probably just not tell him and fade away...I don't follow up with good byes if I tell someone I'm doing it.

Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Wow,you are pretty self-disciplined!!
I,myself,cannot wait to read and respond,lol.Gets me in trouble every time too.I just do whatever,very quickly.

Anyways,good idea NOT to discuss ex's in front of new guys.I am hoping that my now ex Scorp leaves me alone.I have left him alone.Not a word on New Years,not a word today.Surprisingly though,I feel great🙂

Why do you wanna cut yours out?I have stayed friends with pretty much all my ex's.Though it can get awkward,if they still want you,as witnessed by my recent contact with my Aries ex.

Well if I see it's something important or a long message I usually wait. But if it's something lighter I don't mind responding right away. I find I get in trouble if I don't wait a bit with the heavy stuff.

Yeah, it was my plan not to discuss exes from the start, but I get too damn comfortable and then things started to associate with them and I'd mention an ex without thinking.

That's good you feel great about it. Maybe it's for the best you cut him out completely. He seemed like a real d-bag.

Yeah I managed to stay friends with most of my exes cus there was never a bad break up, but recently I've just seen no reason to contact any of them...basically I just don't care for any of them to be in my life cus most weren't the best influences. The scorpio was really bothered by the fact that I talked about my exes, and with good reason too. That stuff should remain in the past. I'm such an idiot sometimes. I want to keep him as a friend, but I'm scared I'm doing this just to keep him around...when I finally truly wake up I may realize I can't be friends with him cus it hurts too much.

So I went to my privacy settings and apparently only friends can msg me on fb. Doh! >.< So who knows if she's tried to or not. Not sure where msgs go if they can't be sent. Makes me wonder...

Okay I'm looking at this "other" folder, but what am I looking for?

Posted by GemFiregrl1978

Posted by happykitsune
Okay I'm looking at this "other" folder, but what am I looking for?

let me log in to facebook and let you know.hang on,ok?

click to expand

'

Ok...I mean I see a lot of group msgs, so are you showing me msgs that were sent to a sort of "spam" inbox?

I think Gem was referring to if yours to his sis didn't go through, it would go to that folder. As for his sis, she won't even have an option I don't believe to respond. I'm assuming you didn't tell Scorp what you did? If so, just text him and tell him what you just realized in the event his sister did try emailing you back, and that you've since fixed it.

I can tell you, personal experience here with this last Scorp/Aqua moon. I want you to think about something. Your guy had a prob with you talking about your exes, YET he says he wants to remain friends with you. He's now your ex. Mine,
"we're talking too much, makes it hard on new rels" ... the cut and dry version. I said okay, and within a week of not hearing from he he begins initiating contact with me on a daily basis. Daily. Some days, all day texting.

Just some food for thought. Dont' always take what they say at face value dear.

Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Ok,so when you first log in...on the left column,you see newsfeed,messages(click on messages and under it you will see "other",that's like a spam folder,where "unwanted" mail goes).You have to be on home screen though,not your own profile!

Gotcha. That's what I kinda figured it was, but wasn't sure.

Thanks. No msgs from her. Not holding my breath, but just thought I'd post it here. I'll post later if something happens

LOL, didn't realize you two were figuring it out! Sorry 🙂

Posted by OceanDeep
I think Gem was referring to if yours to his sis didn't go through, it would go to that folder. As for his sis, she won't even have an option I don't believe to respond. I'm assuming you didn't tell Scorp what you did? If so, just text him and tell him what you just realized in the event his sister did try emailing you back, and that you've since fixed it.

I can tell you, personal experience here with this last Scorp/Aqua moon. I want you to think about something. Your guy had a prob with you talking about your exes, YET he says he wants to remain friends with you. He's now your ex. Mine,
"we're talking too much, makes it hard on new rels" ... the cut and dry version. I said okay, and within a week of not hearing from he he begins initiating contact with me on a daily basis. Daily. Some days, all day texting.

Just some food for thought. Dont' always take what they say at face value dear.

Why wouldn't my msg go through? you mean like if she had hers set to where I couldn't send to her?

It shows that it sent when I click my msgs and I don't see any msgs from me to her or visa versa in the "other" folder.

No, I didn't tell scorpio. It's not my thing to gloat about doing something good. I'll wait a week and if I don't hear anything from her or the scorpio I may text and ask him if she got it. I just hate seeming like I'm doing this just to please him. I wanna do this for me and if he finds out then he does.

Technically speaking we discussed it and he's not my ex because we never made it official. However, I do see where you're coming from because I did emotionally invest my time in him. And I did mention to him that if he were to date someone else they probably wouldn't like the fact that we were sexual and hes still talking to me. But he didn't see a problem with it...

Okay, whose conversation is this—? Yours or the Scorps—? You are giving him a lot of credit here. Because you still care about him and you think he's a nice guy.

I'm glad you're okay with everything, but he seems to be running the show...the relationship, the breakup, and now it seems he's running how things should be looked at both during and after the breakup— Is this how YOU feel, or is this how HE feels happy—?

@Gem:

Well yes. I didn't make it very clear on the boards, but we did get sexual a little after the 1 month mark which we both agreed was moving too fast.

Why does this make thing complicated?

Posted by GemFiregrl1978
Happy,go under your "sent messages" and look there if message was sent to her.If her icon is not grayed out,if you can see her pic and all,no she did not block you.

She's not grayed out and I can see her pic. In fact when I went on her page to send the message I could see everything. So she didn't block me and it says it sent

Posted by OceanDeep
Okay, whose conversation is this—? Yours or the Scorps—? You are giving him a lot of credit here. Because you still care about him and you think he's a nice guy.

I'm glad you're okay with everything, but he seems to be running the show...the relationship, the breakup, and now it seems he's running how things should be looked at both during and after the breakup— Is this how YOU feel, or is this how HE feels happy—?

I'm trying to figure out where you're getting at with this o.o

If he was running the show I wouldn't be considering fading away. I'll decide if I want to be his friend or not.

Right now I haven't been able to process it all so I feel a lot of different things. It hasn't officially hit me yet so I'm more so playing a passive role until I can wake up. I've been tweaking things that I let slid while I was seeing slide and I shouldn't have. Personal no-nos of mine that I grew too comfortable with.

Correct me if I'm wrong...is this what you were referring to?

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by OceanDeep
Okay, whose conversation is this—? Yours or the Scorps—? You are giving him a lot of credit here. Because you still care about him and you think he's a nice guy.

I'm glad you're okay with everything, but he seems to be running the show...the relationship, the breakup, and now it seems he's running how things should be looked at both during and after the breakup— Is this how YOU feel, or is this how HE feels happy—?

I'm trying to figure out where you're getting at with this o.o

If he was running the show I wouldn't be considering fading away. I'll decide if I want to be his friend or not.

Right now I haven't been able to process it all so I feel a lot of different things. It hasn't officially hit me yet so I'm more so playing a passive role until I can wake up. I've been tweaking things that I let slid while I was seeing slide and I shouldn't have. Personal no-nos of mine that I grew too comfortable with.

Correct me if I'm wrong...is this what you were referring to?

click to expand

No no. You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You can decide if you want to be his friend or not. I dunno, I guess Ive had enough experience with them to realize things faster. But like I said to someone else before, I get and see them better from the outside. On the inside, I'm too much of a waterbaby and our emos cloud it. You'll get and see what I'm saying. He's running the show without you realizing it honey 🙂

Posted by GemFiregrl1978


I just think that having that physical makes it a bit harder to shake it off,for both us women and men.Especially Scorpio men.From what I understand,no sex is EVER casual for them.I think he is going to miss you.That is why he possibly wants friendship.Just make sure you don't become FWB!

Trust me. I have been through a few fwb and know its not something I want to cater to. In fact I had the option of getting back to doing stuff with a fwb from way back, last night, but I just don't want that anymore. I want something meaningful.

He did say he would miss me, but that he doesn't want it to hurt worse than it should for either of us, and that that's why he doesn't tell me things like he still misses me or he still cares about me. When we did text last night and the day before we were texting as friends would so its not awkward to text...its just shifted from a dating standpoint to a friend one.

I know I like being friends with people I've liked afterwards cus I usually find a lot of them are still cool as friends. This situation reminds me a lot of me and my ex gem who had a leo rising just like this scorpio does. Him and I are still good friends and we talk the same as we always have. The situation was similar except I ended it because of real deal breakers like religion and politics. Right now I'm trying to compare his and my situation to this situation with the scorpio to figure my way through some things

Posted by OceanDeep


No no. You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You can decide if you want to be his friend or not. I dunno, I guess Ive had enough experience with them to realize things faster. But like I said to someone else before, I get and see them better from the outside. On the inside, I'm too much of a waterbaby and our emos cloud it. You'll get and see what I'm saying. He's running the show without you realizing it honey 🙂

I'd really like to know what you mean now :/ Would save me a lot of thinking and time. What specifically did I say that made you think he is the one running the show?

What do you think his reaction would've been if you wouldve said no to being friends?

I'm not saying he isn't a nice guy. These are things that he knew for quite some time before he said anything to you. His reasonings are harsh. But he wants you to still feel good about yourself, that you are good enough to still be his friend. Which is cool, great, fantastic. People can be friends, but here's the thing. These topics, whose were they? Who said first we never made it official so technically we can't call each other exes. Who said they wanted to be friends. Who broke up with who? Who kept the relationship at a certain pace? Who mentions these things first? You or him? Did you mention things becuase you saw, felt, saw a turn in him? Or just on your own. If it wasnt you, then it was him?

Posted by GemFiregrl1978

Posted by happykitsune
@Gem:

Well yes. I didn't make it very clear on the boards, but we did get sexual a little after the 1 month mark which we both agreed was moving too fast.

Why does this make thing complicated?

I just think that having that physical makes it a bit harder to shake it off,for both us women and men.Especially Scorpio men.From what I understand,no sex is EVER casual for them.I think he is going to miss you.That is why he possibly wants friendship.Just make sure you don't become FWB!

click to expand

Gem gets it.

Sex for Scorps generally means something, unless they spell it out right away that it means nothing. I'm not sure if you two actually slept together or not, or it just came close to things you weren't ready for so stopped.

He wouldn't be friends with you if he didn't want to be. But the thing is, is you are now wondering if you should be which leads me to think that you went along with much of what he was saying because he never did you wrong. This is what I am saying in where he's running the show. But if you said no to his friendship, I would bet the farm his reaction to you would have been different. For them it always means being, staying and remaining in control of everything. Everything. Including their emotions. That's what I mean that he's running the show here. He has to be, because if not he would not have control and such a good outcome. He doesn't want to hurt you, his reasonsing are hurtful. He says what he can to still make himself look okay, and make you want to remain friends with him. He wants you to like him still, to still save face with you.

Dazed said it, good for the sister and fuck you all to the rest of them. Which in my eyes, should be him too. He judged you, or allowed opinions of others to sway him to judge you. And took that, that this must mean who you are. Okay, you see you need to make changes. But you're okay enough to be his friend, just not his girlfriend. But then again, you two hadn't defined yourselves so you're not technically exes. Will his family accept you as his friend in their home, the heathen they think you are from your FB?

This is where you're going to see how much of what he said is true, or not true. How much he meant or didnt' mean all in order to remain in control of th

** This is where you're going to see how much of what he said is true, or not true. How much he meant or didnt' mean all in order to remain in control of the situation. My thought? Sit back and don't say or do a thing for awhile. You'll get your answer.

Thanks Gem....hmmmmm, feel like I'm only wiser when on the outside damn it...wish I could get it right when I am with them on the inside, never fails I always allow my emotions to get the best of me and mess it up. New Years wish 🙂 I don't know about psychic, depends on the definition ?? Or what ppl/you perceive as pyschic?

I know what you mean, but I don't want them with meaningless sex. Meaningful sex is too awesome, and of course some drama spices it up. They do love drama, it makes them feel loved or wanted Shows them you have passion, and their best passion is then returned to you in the bedroom, no? 🙂 lol How about this: you want meaningful sex, just no SO much drama. But in a way, both Gem and Scorps need that spicing up,drama.... otherwise both will get bored. It's finding an eveness, and not too off the top BS, and not overdoing it too often. 🙂

Posted by OceanDeep
What do you think his reaction would've been if you wouldve said no to being friends?

I'm not saying he isn't a nice guy. These are things that he knew for quite some time before he said anything to you. His reasonings are harsh. But he wants you to still feel good about yourself, that you are good enough to still be his friend. Which is cool, great, fantastic. People can be friends, but here's the thing. These topics, whose were they? Who said first we never made it official so technically we can't call each other exes. Who said they wanted to be friends. Who broke up with who? Who kept the relationship at a certain pace? Who mentions these things first? You or him? Did you mention things becuase you saw, felt, saw a turn in him? Or just on your own. If it wasnt you, then it was him?

I think he actually gave me the option of us not being friends, but maybe with the idea in his head that I'd say we should stay friends.

However, I may see what that reaction is really soon cus I think I've made a decision.

Posted by OceanDeep
** This is where you're going to see how much of what he said is true, or not true. How much he meant or didnt' mean all in order to remain in control of the situation. My thought? Sit back and don't say or do a thing for awhile. You'll get your answer.

Yes I think thats a good idea. It'll be interesting to see how this all pans out

Did you ever get a reply from the sister?

No reply from his sister. He did chat msg me on fb a few days ago regarding me being sick, then texted me the same thing and I replied to him a day later that I was fine. He said "that's good to hear" then I haven't heard from him since

Why do you care what she or his family thinks? They are probably nuts

Posted by Sag89
Why do you care what she or his family thinks? They are probably nuts

Because while the parents were judgmental the sister was actually nice and a cool person

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by Sag89
Why do you care what she or his family thinks? They are probably nuts

Because while the parents were judgmental the sister was actually nice and a cool person

click to expand

Hmm

Posted by happykitsune


Is this better?

Here, send this:

"I want to apologize for my first impression and for arriving late. I wasn't able to be there on time like
I'd wanted due to a family issue and being further away than usual.

I hope the fact that I wasn't as talkative didn't ruin any first impressions. I'm a bit shy and it takes me a little
while to warm up to people. You seem like a really fun person and when we meet again, I would like to start off in a more positive direction."

Just don't give a diagnosis too early this time, Doctor!