My brain is saying it is over, but my heart is str

This is how the story goes: I'm European expat to another European country and member of an expat association that organises get-together events for foreigners. Early March this year I went to one of these get-togethers and BAM-a gorgeous Scorpio American is entering the reception hall... accompanied by another lady. They come straight to my table. The electricity is palpable, I'm doing my best to be respectful and chat to the lady only, at a certain point I felt so attracted to this complete stranger, that I fled to another table and chatted to other guys, just couldn't take the intensity anymore. Beforehand somebody at our table made a comment that the Scorp and his lady looked like a married couple, and he remained silent, she laughed it off and said they were just good friends. He followed me to this other table, offered me a drink, his lady friend disappeared somewhere. When I headed to the exit, he came right after me and asked for my number, and I gave it to him. But of course the lady friend was on my mind...I do not want to mess up with another woman's man, were they just friends indeed? He kept in regular, rather infrequent contact (every other day, only initiated by him, I??ve never contacted him first), we went on two good dates, and I could sense that though he seem to be attracted to me too, he was trying to keep some distance, like he would hold my hand for a while and then just drop it and put some physical distance. We had great conversations, I did appreciate his intelligence. He also expressed displeasure of me going to talk to other guys, the first time we met at the event.

The third date ended with a steamy make out, no intercourse...it was an experience of another dimension. I did want to go all way through, but he wanted to wait...hmmm.
The week after he went on a business trip to my country and suggested to bring me a gift, something that I miss from my country. 3-4 days didn't hear a peep, I did not contact him either. Just when I decided to delete his contact info and write him off as "experience", I got a one liner-"I got you the gift", but there's no invite to meet up. I said "thanks" and left it at this. Another week (continued)

Another week goes by and he dropped a message as to when we can meet to give me the present. At this point I'm frustrated from the lack of contact and firmly, but politely tell him to give my gift to his lady-friend or use it himself, and that I think we'd better quit all contact, as my intuition was telling me he was with somebody else. He got pissed off, reassured me he had no woman, and willing to meet me regularly. But his tone was rude, and I cannot accept this. I wasn't having it, told him to leave me alone, all way through the talk I remained calm and civil.

17 days go with no contact, and I subscribed to another get-together. Noticed that his lady friend visited my profile and signed up for the same event just after I did. So, the day of the event I went accompanied by a group of guy friends from my sport club, quite a noisy company, one of them is interested in me and it's obvious. At the event-surprise, surprise, Scorpio guy, more gorgeous than ever, in black suite and alone, no lady friend with him. He was so handsome; his pretty face was beaming like a star in the crowd...and made my heart bleed.
I totally ignored him the whole evening, keeping up appearances of having great fun with my guys. He chatted his way through the crowd (women were all over him, no surprise), came very close to me...and I turned my back to him. He left soon after this, and I stayed with my guys.
The day after I succumbed to the temptation and sent him a one-line email, saying that something was telling me he would be there, and that he was the most handsome man that evening, so good-looking in his black suite. Two days later I have no reply.
I think I have to let it go and move on. I think he's not interested and just wanted to punish me by how gorgeous he is and what I'm missing, because his ego is hurt when I told him to stop contacting me and called him on his rude language . Or if he's a bit interested, then he has something going with his lady friend, and I was a side dish. The gift was an excuse to contact me on his terms.

Hello ! 🙂
I'm not sure if I'm right, but I am a scorpio woman so I will TRY giving you some advices ! 😄
First, what's your sign ?
Scorpios love to be reassured, to be contact first : it's not because of pride (except sometimes haha), it's because they fear bothering people, and after a while, we are like "if they don't contact me first, it's because they don't love me"
Making a scorpio jealous is not the best thing to do : we are very impulsive and when something get wrong we get fatalistic and do things without reflection, and we are very very hurt, and very sad; even if we seems to look detached and to don't give a shit, but we give a shit !!!
And because he is jealous, he takes his revenge in a way..
I don't really think he plays with you, scorpios don't play with feelings, I think he is very attracted to you, and the fact that he wants to offer you a gift is a sign that he really appreciate you !

He is hurt because you make him jealous, and you reject him : rejection is the worst things to do with a scorpio, you can hurt them for life !!
I think, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea, ask him to meet and reveals the way you feel about him, explain why you did this; I hope he will understand !
(sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native english 😄)
I wish you good luck !

East...

You're a fucking idiot!

There's no other way of saying that.

@Scorpiaaasss, thanks for your explanations, it does make sense.
My Sun is in Pisces, Moon in Taurus, Venus in Capricorn. Unlike a typical fish, I'm more concerned to do the right thing by my values and keep my reputation and pride intact (Venus in Capricorn?), although I am sensitive and intuitive like the fish. I would say I'm a grounded fish.

I'm afraid things are too much down the road of hurt feelings, and I'm afraid that even if I muster the courage to approach him with an honest explanation, he won't resist the temptation to take his sweet revenge by rejecting me. And I have a huge problem to go back on my word of telling him to leave me alone.

I'd rather hope to meet him another time at one of these events and establish an eye contact. I'll let him come to me, if ever.

As for reassuring scorpio and having a contact, I think what you explained is applicable to women scorpios. I think that scoprio men are confident enough to initiate contact, and in my book it is the man's job to lead the courtship, this is why I let them all come to me, I do not pursue a man (scorpio or other).

You're welcome !

Ha, yes actually, if he rejects you, in a revenge way, you will have the proof that he is hurt and he wants to hurt you back, I know this is pretty complicated, but if you are really honest and really "deep" in your explainations, he will take into consideration what you say !

Yes they are confident, but it's more pleasant if the first contact is make by both of you, and not only him; it's not as a scorpio thing I think, it's annoying when the same person initiate contact, it give the impression that the other person don't really want you.

Ha, I understand what you say here, but let me tell you : if you really appreciate him, do efforts. Even if it's against your book, you need to show him that you care about him, that you are really into him.
Everything between you two should be in both way : not only him !
😄

@Scorpiaasss, thanks again for your input. I did express on a few occasions how much I'm impressed by him, and appreciate him as a man and as a person... which so untypical for me, as I'm more reserved with people I do not know well. But with him...I do not know, I got scared by the influx of emotions this man provoked in me. I was reading "Mars and Venus on a date" by John Gray the other day, it is a great user manual on dating a man, I strongly recommend it. There John Gray recommends in the beginning of dating, for a woman to let the man do the effort, and for her to gracefully accept his effort with a sweet smile. I did much more than this, including the make out on just a third date, and in my opinion Scorp got overly confident that he had me on the hook, hence the decrease of effort to contact me and arrange to see me. And when I bluntly told him get lost with his gift, it was like pulling the rug from under him, so he must be really pissed off.

Over 3 dates, I do not think that a man can develop attachment to a woman, men are slower than women in attaching themselves. So, this is why to me he showed up his pretty face on the drink on Tuesday to show me what I'm missing and that he's popular with women. I think that was his way to stab me back. And he succeeded...big time, lol! But I still like him a lot. And didn't want to hurt him.

Thanks, Reincarnation, appreciated.

Well i think he sees you as wishy washy. Maybe your venus in cap was already on high alert and you took yourself out the game.

Oh come on people, read the story.

She totally fucked that one up. Hot and cold or wishy washy as DMV described. Deliberately not messaging him so he had to constantly initiate then when he didn't for a while she got the hump and threw her toys out. He said he'd get her a gift and he did and she basically told him to shove it up his arse. She went to the next night out deliberately with a crowd of guys and even when he approached she snubbed him. Then later sent him a message saying he was nice.

Jesus Christ, the dude even wanted to wait before putting his dick in her and she STILL whinged...

Where's P-Angel when you need her!!!

Posted by AgentP911
East...

You're a fucking idiot!

There's no other way of saying that.

was she an idiot when she didn't accept some half interest from a man?! or when she didn't accept his rude language?! or when she called on him for his immature "dating strategies"?!

come on...if 55% of the women won't put up with such behaviour, there would be so fewer players in this world who think they are alpha males.....

All,
I do value the advice from all of you, because the debate looks at both signs of the coin-the ones that said I came across as wishy-washy, and the others who said he wasn't into me. Surprisingly I find that both are correct at the same time: I behaved wishy-washy, because he behaved not so interested in me. One thing I know-when I man is interested, he calls and makes an effort to see you. If he contacts you intermittently, most probably, there's another woman in the picture, OR he's not that into you. I know what it feels like when a man is interested in a woman, I have dated nice European guys (this Scorp was my first American, hence I came to this forum, and not to an European one). They call/ text and want to see me. I very rarely initiated and never in the beginning, only later on when we had a dating routine. To me a woman has to leave the empty space between herself and a man, to give him the possibility to conquer her and do the extra mile to reach her and please her. This way he feels like a man. And all that a woman has to do, is to appreciate his effort.

I'm all about assertiveness/ even aggressiveness of aspiring females at the work place, but in relationships, a woman has to remain feminine and passive (yes, that's right PASSIVE), so that the man is ACTIVE. If you do the job for him, by calling and organising dates, then you leave him no space to conquer you. If he doesn't conquer you, he doesn't appreciate you.

Posted by AgentP911


Jesus Christ, the dude even wanted to wait before putting his dick in her and she STILL whinged...

This in fact is an excellent question; I was racking my brain on the same subject. True, it is unfair to men, because when they want to have sex, women complain that men are dogs, and when they do not want to have sex, we complain again and feel confused.
Honestly, I was so overwhelmed by hormones (well, I'm human and have a body), that all my rules flew out the window at that moment, to put it shortly, I served myself on a silver platter to this Scorp and he didn't take me. I'm 100% positive that it wasn't because he didn't like me physically; he came twice by just me touching him and kissing him.

But I'm not at all sure that he withheld himself out of respect for me. To me the real reason is like for most men, an intercourse marks the boundary of cheating, everything less than an intercourse, goes under the paragraph of "just playing". So, most probably he does have something going with his female friend, or somebody else (at least some sort of FWB), and he didn't want to cross the line out of guilt.
With this being said, the most important question still remains: IS THERE ANYTHING SALVEGEABLE IN THIS WHOLE MESS.

Once again, I do appreciate everybody??s input.

Posted by Infinite8
East: I think you are doing a great job actually! Good looking Scorp men & women get a bit spoiled when they get their way too quickly... And the fact that you are making him work harder, is only making him respect you more.

Yes, he will complain and hurt you (test you) in the process, to see where you bend... But, don't do it. Continue on your way. I think you have a perfect balance if making him work hard and being kind and thoughtful where you should be.

Don't reach out to him anymore... But continue to see him at the meet ups. Scorp/Pisces combo is irresistible. He won't forget you... And he won't forget to come up with another plan to get you either. Just be patient with your feelings... You haven't lost him.

Good luck! He sounds YUMMY!!

Your encouragement is very much appreciated, indeed!

Posted by Reincarnation
"With this being said, the most important question still remains: IS THERE ANYTHING SALVEGEABLE IN THIS WHOLE MESS."

Well - you sent him an email flattering his ego. That was a mistake.

I don't need my ego flattered. I know who I am, and - more importantly - I know who I am not.

Don't compliment his looks or his dress. That would work wonderfully for a Taurus or Leo. A Scorpio man doesn't care about that at all - and will be turned off by it.

Send him one email.

"I really miss you. : ("

That's it.

Yes, I also feel that flattering his ego was a bad idea. I'll think about sending the "I really miss you", looks like a good idea.

For now I'm gonna go play badminton with the guys.

Thank you everyone.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by East
Thanks, Reincarnation, appreciated.

It's all good.

She's a bitch.

click to expand

You're a cunt.

Posted by Reincarnation
"a woman has to remain feminine and passive (yes, that's right PASSIVE), so that the man is ACTIVE. If you do the job for him, by calling and organising dates, then you leave him no space to conquer you. If he doesn't conquer you, he doesn't appreciate you."

A woman who gets it.

Naturally, she's foreign and a Pisces.

Excellent, I'm 'foreign' too, if by foreign you mean not an American.

I get the above too. I just think you're quick to jump on the band wagon when it isn't necessary.

Upon reading OP's story, which now has a bit more information, it was like a slap to the forehead and a smh moment. That's why I said she was a fucking idiot. It read like a bit of a mess which would have been avoidable if OP would have just relaxed more and gone with the flow instead of throwing her toys out.

There's no need to start throwing insults over nothing. Even OP is stating that she was wishy washy and overly hormonal. OP is finding the different views helpful so I really don't see what the issue is or what your issue is.

i think he has already reached his goal...you're ready to chase him...

Posted by Gemi9

Posted by AgentP911
Oh come on people, read the story.

She totally fucked that one up. Hot and cold or wishy washy as DMV described. Deliberately not messaging him so he had to constantly initiate then when he didn't for a while she got the hump and threw her toys out. He said he'd get her a gift and he did and she basically told him to shove it up his arse. She went to the next night out deliberately with a crowd of guys and even when he approached she snubbed him. Then later sent him a message saying he was nice.

Jesus Christ, the dude even wanted to wait before putting his dick in her and she STILL whinged...

Where's P-Angel when you need her!!!

So, you are assuming everyone should know that Scorpios aren't your typical date
and must know how to 'get around' this sign?
She is a lady who respects herself and do not want to be a doormat.
When someone comes here and tells everyone she does anything for her man - she
is a doormat. When she does respect herself - she is an idiot.

I think whoever judging like that IS a real idiot. Think. Yes you are. GEt life!

click to expand

I think you're making up you're own story here and not staying on point.

What you've written here has nothing to do with OP's story. You're saying I'm calling into question her self respect and integrity which isn't the case. Where exactly has that been said? I called her a fucking idiot as when I read her story I just thought 'oh fucking hell, if only she would have chilled the fuck out a bit then she wouldn't have got herself into this state!' Not that she's a fucking idiot for any other reason but you go right ahead and 'judge' what you want.

Aren't you the married Gem who is fucking a married Scorp man?

Posted by East

Posted by AgentP911


Jesus Christ, the dude even wanted to wait before putting his dick in her and she STILL whinged...

This in fact is an excellent question; I was racking my brain on the same subject. True, it is unfair to men, because when they want to have sex, women complain that men are dogs, and when they do not want to have sex, we complain again and feel confused.
Honestly, I was so overwhelmed by hormones (well, I'm human and have a body), that all my rules flew out the window at that moment, to put it shortly, I served myself on a silver platter to this Scorp and he didn't take me. I'm 100% positive that it wasn't because he didn't like me physically; he came twice by just me touching him and kissing him.

But I'm not at all sure that he withheld himself out of respect for me. To me the real reason is like for most men, an intercourse marks the boundary of cheating, everything less than an intercourse, goes under the paragraph of "just playing". So, most probably he does have something going with his female friend, or somebody else (at least some sort of FWB), and he didn't want to cross the line out of guilt.
With this being said, the most important question still remains: IS THERE ANYTHING SALVEGEABLE IN THIS WHOLE MESS.

Once again, I do appreciate everybody??s input.

click to expand

The great thing about the forum is that it opens the floor for various views and opinions. Some may be more salient than others but if some views prompt you to think about things differently then it can only be a good thing. Unfortunately, you will also have people jumping all over something just to create something out of nothing but each to their own. Just take whatever you want from it all and if there's something you don't like or agree with then so be it.

I don't think all is totally lost here. It is true that both male and female Scorps don't always take too well to flattery. That is not reserved just for the male of the species. Same goes for level of sensitivity. We are suspicious in nature. We are generally not superficial too. A well placed, genuine compliment is usually well received though but we do like to assess intention and motive.

It's quite clear he does like you. As to whether there's anyone else involved is only something he knows. Y

It's quite clear he does like you. As to whether there's anyone else involved is only something he knows. You're welcome to analyse his behaviour to death but you may not come up with the right answer. Just be clear on what it is you're looking for before jumping in too deeply. Your approach and frame of mind for the 'courting' or 'dating' process seems sound to me and being a Pisces you can probably do 'passive' rather well so hopefully the Scorp man will receive and appreciate that. I would say to relax and let things flow more rather than analysing every little detail. You can still continue to retain your respect and dignity while not chasing him or giving too much away. I wouldn't say to stop going out with your friends, male and female, but be careful and think about your intention and motive when 'flirting' with other guys in Scorps presence. Done tastefully might be fine but one wouldn't want to cross the line and be intentionally vulgar as Scorps usually see through those tactics. It sounds like you might have something nice to build on with this guy so I hope all goes well!

East you sound like a grounded person by no means paranoid, if your gut was telling you that something was wrong is because there WAS something wrong.

I wouldn't be surprised if this guy turns out to be married or deeply in love with his lady friend.

If any I regret the email you send, he made you chase him which even you know it always ends wrong.

If I were you I would stay away from this guy and maybe next time give another guy the benefit of the doubt BEFORE saying you don't want to keep talking.

Posted by mz

Posted by AgentP911
East...

You're a fucking idiot!

There's no other way of saying that.

was she an idiot when she didn't accept some half interest from a man?! or when she didn't accept his rude language?! or when she called on him for his immature "dating strategies"?!

come on...if 55% of the women won't put up with such behaviour, there would be so fewer players in this world who think they are alpha males.....

click to expand

Truth.

The point here is, if he really really liked you and needed you, he would have apologized for coming accross as rude. The next day, the next week, or even after you texted him after the party, he would have used that opportunity to communicate.

He wasn't that serious if he was able to let go like this.

Guys that are too goodlooking are usually either narcissists or dchbags anyway..

Too much game playing and not enough open, honest communication. I dont think that you were being wishy washy (a common and poor insult used against Piscean character). i do however think you were being passive and relying too heavily on your feelings. Both of you were.

I think it would have been better to be abit more upfont about how you feel and ask him those tough questions that ultimately wouldve gotten you the answers you wanted to those buring questions and seconding guessing.



I personally would let this one go. Otherwise youd be chasing (which is different from being assertive) and that would probably be used against you.If you both feel the need to be so passive this early on in the friendship then idk about the future of it.

Thats just me. Good on you for not giving into your carnal desires tho 😄

Oh no girl at this point leave it alone unless he tries to contact you i guess. us scorps can sense when someone is intentionally trying to make us jealous and it's one of the biggest turn offs

He probably thinks she's crazy anyways. No man should put up with this, and it's just a sign of the future. Three dates and she couldn't be bothered to pick up a phone because she should be chased,hello he called you every other day and arranged three dates plus he got you a gift that you couldn't be bothered to show any appreciation for. Passive aggressive behavior based on intuition, lol who wants to deal with that, we all know where that goes. Then ignore him when he makes an attempt to talk in person and send an email later, so many mixed signals.

Posted by wareagle
He probably thinks she's crazy anyways. No man should put up with this, and it's just a sign of the future. Three dates and she couldn't be bothered to pick up a phone because she should be chased,hello he called you every other day and arranged three dates plus he got you a gift that you couldn't be bothered to show any appreciation for. Passive aggressive behavior based on intuition, lol who wants to deal with that, we all know where that goes. Then ignore him when he makes an attempt to talk in person and send an email later, so many mixed signals.

Exactly. Three dates. That's like maybe 8 hours of personal time. She'd already wanked him off by date three but because he wanted to hold off on sex he's obviously married because that's her perception. I think everyone else is reading a different version of this story. There was good contact but for 3/4 days nothing but that's his fault, a week with no contact after a second or third date and she's off assuming. I don't think this dude is entirely at fault.

Posting issues a few times, apologies.


As I read your story, OP, I was thinking there would be some dramatic downturn from the great start due to him doing something that was bad in an obvious way.

That's not what I was left with; I agree with what AgentP911 is saying about this.

If he is doing something bad, I understand why you're upset but clearly you don't 100% believe that or you wouldn't try to start something up with him again.

So there are unknowns but your expectations for him so early into a relationship seem extreme.

Also, I've seen many relationships get damaged by some of the views you have about what women should do with men.

And I've seen good relationships result from a woman pursuing a man.

The view you seem to have about what women and men should do - that it has to be so different - insults many men and women I know, including my father who believes in equal rights yet grew up in a time when there were a lot of accepted concepts about the superiority of one sex over another in different settings.

Hello all,

Great insight from all of you, and helpful indeed.

@beggarsblanket: Exactly. This is how I feel too. If a woman calls a man on his BS, and he likes her he'll apologise, or correct his behavior and they will move forward with the friendship/relationship, whatever it is. If a man is not that interested, he simply ignores her, which is happening in my case.

So, if he doesn't contact me, he's not this interested and honestly, let's get real here - it's been 3 dates, I have to put a deadline of my hoping for him. As of now he's on my mind big time and I turn down date invites from eligible bachelors that other wise I would have accepted with pleasure. This is what an infatuated, romantic fish is doing. So, at a certain point I have to cut my losses and quit ruining my dating life. The practical Taurus and Capricorn in me are saying to give it 2 more weeks and if there would be no signs of life from him, to let it go and start accepting dates from others;

@Champagne. I'm not trying to make him jealous. I'm living my life and going out with friends, that happened to be male friends that evening. We were drinking, laughing and chatting, I was not sitting on anybody's lap, or kissing anybody, or behaving inappropriately in any other way. I was also just chatting to these guys at the other table when we first met at the event and he didn't like it, but hey, it is a double standrad-if he comes along with a female friend (?), then of course I chat to all males in range that I feel like chatting to.

@Infinite8 and AgentP. You are absolutely right that this e-mail with the compliment was a mistake. I've heard before that Scorps are suspicious of compliments. It wasn't flattery, I had no ulterior motive, it came straight from the heart, because he is amazingly attractive and i cannot resist saying it out loud. It was my innocent admiration of his looks, no hiden agenda, no fishing for feedback.I also was thinking that after icing him out the whole evening and after more than 2 weeks no contact, if i don't say anything he will asume I'm indifferent to him. I waanted to let him know he was still on my lind. But it came down all wrong with the compliment, I shoul have worded it differently. Anyway, what is done, is done. I'm back to no contact.

Ideally, I'd like to reach a state of mind of no desire, just gratitude for whatever has to happen. If he doesn't come back-i'd like to be happy enjoying getting to know other men, and just keep the good memories of the brief encounter with scorp; if he does come back, I'd like to be able to be content, but without the element of craving, that I'm experiencing now and I find unhealthy.

Anyway, lessons have been learned from this short, but intense experience. Even if lost the man, I will retain the lesson. And I'm grateful for your time, everyone, to put things in perspective. The Scorpio forum is a good place to come for advice.

I'll update the thread if some new developments occurred.

Posted by CopperDove


So there are unknowns but your expectations for him so early into a relationship seem extreme.

Right. How could She expect even more in just seeing a man in 3 days.

Oh gosh. OP, keep it cool. Avoid also Drama - drama will kill that Scorpio man..believe me. though, We are the cause of drama sometimes - we don't like to get that from our partner, we hate it. Relax..like AgentP911 said.

AgentP911 - tone down. hahaha . That fire placement in your chart made you even stronger.

Only an emotional unavailable guy would say no to sex with a woman he likes enough to go on 3 dates with. Which btw also explains the MIA for long periods of times.

With our scorpio obsesive traits, when we like someone they are on our mind 24/7, and it doesn't matter how busy we are it takes 5 seconds to write "hey I'm super busy but just wanted to let you know you are on my mind". Being busy is not an excuse.

I'm in absolute shock with the advice given to the op saying is her fault. And even more shocked that gemi9 and reincarnation were a few of the only people making sense. I'm out of here, good luck East.

Posted by East
All,
I do value the advice from all of you, because the debate looks at both signs of the coin-the ones that said I came across as wishy-washy, and the others who said he wasn't into me. Surprisingly I find that both are correct at the same time: I behaved wishy-washy, because he behaved not so interested in me. One thing I know-when I man is interested, he calls and makes an effort to see you. If he contacts you intermittently, most probably, there's another woman in the picture, OR he's not that into you. I know what it feels like when a man is interested in a woman, I have dated nice European guys (this Scorp was my first American, hence I came to this forum, and not to an European one). They call/ text and want to see me. I very rarely initiated and never in the beginning, only later on when we had a dating routine. To me a woman has to leave the empty space between herself and a man, to give him the possibility to conquer her and do the extra mile to reach her and please her. This way he feels like a man. And all that a woman has to do, is to appreciate his effort.

I'm all about assertiveness/ even aggressiveness of aspiring females at the work place, but in relationships, a woman has to remain feminine and passive (yes, that's right PASSIVE), so that the man is ACTIVE. If you do the job for him, by calling and organising dates, then you leave him no space to conquer you. If he doesn't conquer you, he doesn't appreciate you.

As another venus in capricorn, i couldn't. Agree more

People make time for what they want.

Venus in Capricorn needs to see consistency from anyone looking to ride this train. Any deviations is seen as rejection and disinterest. 3 days of no contact is like a nail in the coffin.

Posted by M143

Posted by CopperDove


So there are unknowns but your expectations for him so early into a relationship seem extreme.

Right. How could She expect even more in just seeing a man in 3 days.

Oh gosh. OP, keep it cool. Avoid also Drama - drama will kill that Scorpio man..believe me. though, We are the cause of drama sometimes - we don't like to get that from our partner, we hate it. Relax..like AgentP911 said.

AgentP911 - tone down. hahaha . That fire placement in your chart made you even stronger.

click to expand

Ha! Cheers M, compliment banked!

Posted by Gemi9

Posted by LittleMissPerfect
Only an emotional unavailable guy would say no to sex with a woman he likes enough to go on 3 dates with. Which btw also explains the MIA for long periods of times.

With our scorpio obsesive traits, when we like someone they are on our mind 24/7, and it doesn't matter how busy we are it takes 5 seconds to write "hey I'm super busy but just wanted to let you know you are on my mind". Being busy is not an excuse.

I'm in absolute shock with the advice given to the op saying is her fault. And even more shocked that gemi9 and reincarnation were a few of the only people making sense. I'm out of here, good luck East.

I am shocked that you shocked. LOL

However want to argue with you. When I am saying exactly what you are saying
it takes 5 seconds to write "hey I'm super busy but just wanted to let you know you are on my mind". and that being busy is not an excuse...he says that I am on his mind enough so writing a short message makes him want to call me and talk and if he did (which he does but not daily anymore) - it fucks up his day and he can't concentrate anymore.
So we are communicating after work is done but for him sometimes it is 24/7 so I do not press.

What I am shocked about is how contradictive Scorpios opinions on OP subject.
It is impossible to make up your mind about is she right? YES!
Is she wrong? Also YES! What is it?

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Gemi9, be shocked all you want but there are no contradictions here. What there is plenty of are views from different angles which present OP with options. This isn't about who is right and who is wrong. How can strangers give a clear cut stance on OP's situation? That is impossible. We only have a snap shot based on what OP chooses to share. For OP, not much has been based on facts and evidence. Mainly assumptions and intuition. This is always dangerous ground.

OP appears to have a check list and if this guy isn't checking off each box in the way OP wants it or when OP wants it then out comes the 'intuition' to explain away his behaviour.

If he's not text her within a few days then he's with another girl.

If he's preferred to wait a while before sticking his dick in her then he's emotionally unavailable or married.

If he gets pissed off because after 5 minutes of knowing ea

If he gets pissed off because after 5 minutes of knowing each other, OP is on his back accusing him of being with others then he gets called out for it.

If he doesn't apologise in the way or time frame OP wants then she brings out another box he's not ticking and declares it means he's uninterested.

There's a number of these examples. It was three dates. Barely enough time for the guy to breath before being kicked about. I'm not saying he's right or perfect. There's the possibility he might be married. Of course there is. But OP was too busy obsessing over what she was NOT getting rather than looking at what she WAS getting and what was happening in front of her. She was too busy trying to get his dick out on date three to give consideration to actually getting to know him which would also include getting to know if he is married.

@AgentP- you have a good point about me focusing on he was not doing, rather than what he was doing.
On other things, you are exagerating, and I'd like to ask you to keep your language in check, it comes across as unnecessary vulgar. I never said anything about his being married, this word came from another poster (do not remember who exactly). I know for sure he's not married, he volunteered the info that he was never married, and I checked his public record. Everything he said about his family is confirmed by the record.

But I do think that he has something with his lady friend-just a few minutes ago I noticed she has been yet again on my profile at this expat network web site, it is similar to FB and on the front page there are stats of who has visited my profile. Unless she's gay and fancies me, I see no alternative explanation for why she's so often visiting my profile; I have no other female contact (similar to FB friend) with so many hits on my profile.

So, I think my intuituin was unfortunately right.

East,

My post is addressed to Gemi9 in answer to her points. Not you. It's about you but not to you.

There's no exaggeration here and there's no vulgar language. Just good posts written with excellent command of the English language.

Congratulations on thinking your intuition is correct in this case. Here's a gold star ?_—? and you are awarded first place _??

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by DMV
People make time for what they want.

This should be an automated response from DXP software when any thread containing "my", "man", and "disappeared" is created.

It's 100% true.

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Its the answer to all of lifes problems.

Posted by INTJBull
I'm scratching my head about the lady friend. You seem convinced that they're an item but she clearly stated at your first meeting that they are just good friends and she left him alone to follow you around. Why would she do those things if they are in fact together? Maybe she's like his wing-woman & she's trying to help him figure you out? When I talk to my friends about a man I'm interested in they always want to check the guy out & tell me what they think. Maybe that's why she visits your profile. I really don't understand what sense it would make for her to portray him as single to you when she is with him, only to stalk you down when you take the bait.

I don't mean to sound rude but it seems very paranoid, obsessive & jealous. You have stated numerous times that you have a large group of males friends that you do things with but he's accompanied by a woman on your first meeting and you can't seem to believe that she's just a friend?

Yah, she psyched herself out early and her guard was way up.

Posted by INTJBull
I Maybe she's like his wing-woman & she's trying to help him figure you out? When I talk to my friends about a man I'm interested in they always want to check the guy out & tell me what they think. Maybe that's why she visits your profile. I really don't understand what sense it would make for her to portray him as single to you when she is with him, only to stalk you down when you take the bait.

This is what I'm wondering too. My close friends likely would want to look up someone I was interested in too, just out of curiosity, if the information was public like it is on most social media type sites.

Posted by Gemi9

Posted by Arielle83
If you're both expats, from different countries, what's the point in getting hung up on him. I'm guessing that's his thought process.

Yeah, its too far to walk from country to country (eyeroll)

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Yeah, good point Gemi9... I mean, the wheel hasn't even been invented yet...

INTJbull,

I can see you had much fun with this post while you were having your coffee.

Loved it!

I take my hat off to you, 10/10 for structure and use of the 'bold' option to demonstrate the obvious.

Personally, I still feel my first comment on this thread says it all...

Posted by Arielle83
You got to think like a man being an expat, but you're not. It's vacation time bitches. He's dipping it into every accent he can get.

That's always a definite possibility. He did seem to like her a bit though.

Just a thought, but he may have been testing to see if you would be a drama queen by not initiating contact for that week or so that he disappeared.

Your expectations of such a new connection are pretty high. The first three months of consistent and regular interactions between a Man and a Woman should be utilized as a discovery phase without expectations. They are who they are, you are who you are, and you use this time to figure out if they are a good match based on your own wants and needs. Does he/she have Integrity? Are they consistent? Can they communicate effectively and positively? Are they open about their lives? Do they share important details? Do all of those words and actions mesh well, does one back up the other, are they cohesive and natural.
This is what discovery is.

This would be a different matter if he gave his all into a relationship for a month or two, had sex with you, then went MIA. See the difference?

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by Arielle83
You got to think like a man being an expat, but you're not. It's vacation time bitches. He's dipping it into every accent he can get.

Not really.

Scorp men generally settle with the best, most compatible woman they can find. Why eat bologna sandwiches if you can have filet mignon every day?

Scouring the field is just a way for a Scorp to look for his Persephone.

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And all Persephone gets is an STD. 😛