Elyssia
@Elyssia
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 22 · Topics: 1
Please help me understand this Scorpio man!
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^^^
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!
Problem solved. The man need space you are just imagining things because you have feelings for him. I suggest you stay logical when ever you fall inlove.
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!
Problem solved. The man need space you are just imagining things because you have feelings for him. I suggest you stay logical when ever you fall inlove.
Lol...umm..I don't think he's playing games..! It's a scorpio thing to be precise.Listen to what he has got to say n better trust him...
I often ice people out n turn cold n distant too...that wouldn't mean I lost my feelings for them..I just need space sometimes. It's undeniably unfair..but i really can't help it.The last thing I'd want then is being questioned about it...Though I sometimes do explain..
I often ice people out n turn cold n distant too...that wouldn't mean I lost my feelings for them..I just need space sometimes. It's undeniably unfair..but i really can't help it.The last thing I'd want then is being questioned about it...Though I sometimes do explain..
Ive dated quite a few other men being over 30 and none have made me feel confused this way before.
He behaves strangely.
Red got, then silent.
It makes you clingy when someone acts like that
He behaves strangely.
Red got, then silent.
It makes you clingy when someone acts like that
Thanks Teena.
It's confusing for me a uually when a man ices me out it means he's lot interest, so my presumption is that.
Then he acts all suprised that I feel there is a problem.
I just want to decide whether to give him the benefit of the doubt or whether to walk away.
He chased me...I signed up for a guy who'd won me over with consistency. Right now he drives me crazy!
It's confusing for me a uually when a man ices me out it means he's lot interest, so my presumption is that.
Then he acts all suprised that I feel there is a problem.
I just want to decide whether to give him the benefit of the doubt or whether to walk away.
He chased me...I signed up for a guy who'd won me over with consistency. Right now he drives me crazy!
I totally get it..But I didn't understand how mean it was for me to do that to someone until I was put through a similar situation.. .Not that it changed things.. But it atleast made me more compassionate n I started explaining people rather than putting them in the dark n leaving them confused..
Posted by ElyssiaJust hold on Elyssia.. That's not to say to lose your self respect...I'm sure he didn't chase you for nothing... Just tell him to tell you whenever he needs space n promise him that you'll give it...Tell him how crazy this game makes you without sounding clingy..n most importantly keep yourself busy n show him you have life beyond him too..
Thanks Teena.
It's confusing for me a uually when a man ices me out it means he's lot interest, so my presumption is that.
Then he acts all suprised that I feel there is a problem.
I just want to decide whether to give him the benefit of the doubt or whether to walk away.
He chased me...I signed up for a guy who'd won me over with consistency. Right now he drives me crazy!
Thanks Teena. I lost my temper at him for the first time a few days ago. I cant remember the last time a guy drove me to lose my composure but he was just totaly icy and when I called him on it he said "I am sorry, I had no idea it was affecting you this way".
Hopefully he will start to listen, but to be totally honest, if I feel the reasurance he is not playing me or playing some game with me I am totally happy to give him space ....I just need to understand what he is doing and why.
Hopefully he will start to listen, but to be totally honest, if I feel the reasurance he is not playing me or playing some game with me I am totally happy to give him space ....I just need to understand what he is doing and why.
You may never get answers with a Scorpio TBH..The more you try the farther you fall..If he *thinks* you're whining, he'll just leave..
He did tell you that he felt a "connection" n that you read him wrong..That must mean something
He did tell you that he felt a "connection" n that you read him wrong..That must mean something
Posted by ElyssiaSo instead of straight out asking him if it was a one night stand, you decided to assume it was and dumped him. Nice. He won't forget that, and he will be on guard, but please know that dumping card to make yourself feel good or for reassurance only works once.
Like his texts dwindle, he pulls back a little and he makes me feel totally off balance.
So the first time he did it I figured that I was just a one night stand to him, and thanked him for a great night and deleted his number. After a few days he came back to me and told me that I'd really hurt him by saying I didn;t want to see him again
I don't get why women do this AT ALL!
Posted by ElyssiaMaybe he'll listen IF YOU SPEAK UP. Works both ways. Men are not mind readers. I don't know, you sound like you have some insecurities going on.
Hopefully he will start to listen, but to be totally honest, if I feel the reasurance he is not playing me or playing some game with me I am totally happy to give him space ....I just need to understand what he is doing and why.
What's your sign?
Posted by ReincarnationTrue that! But goes for scorpio females too..
Elyssia - what is your Sun sign?
BTW - you can tell a Scorp man most anything as long as you're genuine about it. Tell him you feel left out. My gf does this and I never ran away.
Can we hold on for a second in terms of me "dumping him".......I'm not playing games here...I am talking about a man who texts me for months and months, want to skype, wants to meet for drinks, is absolutely DEDICATED to the idea of he and I being a couple - and we sleep together and BOOM - zero communication. One word answers, taking 24 hours to reply to a text.
This is not my problem here. When men act like this, and woman with a litte dignity is not going to wait around until he deigns to be bothered with you again and act like a grateful puppy. My assumption based on his behavior was "this guy just wanted sex off me" and I was hurt, and kept my dignity, thanked him for a great night and intended to never contact him again.
I am also a Scorpio...but I don't go ice cold on people unless I am not interested in them, so even as a fellow Scorp I find his behavior confusing.
I will try and talk to him about this...I guess how I feel inside is hurt and confused because from my perspective he has waitied so long for this and as soon as he gets it; he's unsure. There's a lot of men around who fall into that catagory and usually they are playing you.
This is not my problem here. When men act like this, and woman with a litte dignity is not going to wait around until he deigns to be bothered with you again and act like a grateful puppy. My assumption based on his behavior was "this guy just wanted sex off me" and I was hurt, and kept my dignity, thanked him for a great night and intended to never contact him again.
I am also a Scorpio...but I don't go ice cold on people unless I am not interested in them, so even as a fellow Scorp I find his behavior confusing.
I will try and talk to him about this...I guess how I feel inside is hurt and confused because from my perspective he has waitied so long for this and as soon as he gets it; he's unsure. There's a lot of men around who fall into that catagory and usually they are playing you.
And honestly....when I "dumped" him, I expected to never hear from him again. From my 20 years experience of relationships and dating...when a man disappears after the first sex it only means one thing and that is "I don't like you that much". I figured I was giving him an easy out.
The conversation after that went like this:
HIM: you have really hurt me
ME: Why?
HIM: Because you've painted me as a one track minded sex fanatic. Id accepted a while back that you might never go out with me. Then you agreed to, said you had a great time and wanted to see me again, then later that day say it was a big mistake
ME: I'm sorry.
HIM: I can't believe how good it was. You have to have a connection for it to be that good.
ME: I know...I feel a connection, I just felt like you didn't
HIM: Why? I didn't want to leave! I would have stayed all day with you if I could have. It's not like that with everyone.
ME: I'm sorry, I guess I was just hurt.
HIM: you have no reason to be hurt.
ME: I'm sorry. Friends?
HIM: Well friends of course...but wuld you not want to have another date?
ME: Yes, I would if you want to
HIM: Of course I want to!!! Why wouldn't I?
ME: I'm really sorry I hurt you, hte thinking of you as upset. Were you really upset?
HIM: Yes, but I feel better now knowing I'll see you again.
And it's like this...but then he has the second date and does it again. All of a sudden he goes from texting me all day of how he is thinking of me, to just a few texts a day that are really detatched. He cancels a plan and says he is upset he can't make it, but does not suggest an alternative date to see me. He's evasive in a way and it makes me feel like..."is he just talking BS to me?"
I'm a Scorpio too...but I guess I tend to explain things to people if I like them.
One thing I guess is that mayeb he does not know how much I like him. I've never told him.
The conversation after that went like this:
HIM: you have really hurt me
ME: Why?
HIM: Because you've painted me as a one track minded sex fanatic. Id accepted a while back that you might never go out with me. Then you agreed to, said you had a great time and wanted to see me again, then later that day say it was a big mistake
ME: I'm sorry.
HIM: I can't believe how good it was. You have to have a connection for it to be that good.
ME: I know...I feel a connection, I just felt like you didn't
HIM: Why? I didn't want to leave! I would have stayed all day with you if I could have. It's not like that with everyone.
ME: I'm sorry, I guess I was just hurt.
HIM: you have no reason to be hurt.
ME: I'm sorry. Friends?
HIM: Well friends of course...but wuld you not want to have another date?
ME: Yes, I would if you want to
HIM: Of course I want to!!! Why wouldn't I?
ME: I'm really sorry I hurt you, hte thinking of you as upset. Were you really upset?
HIM: Yes, but I feel better now knowing I'll see you again.
And it's like this...but then he has the second date and does it again. All of a sudden he goes from texting me all day of how he is thinking of me, to just a few texts a day that are really detatched. He cancels a plan and says he is upset he can't make it, but does not suggest an alternative date to see me. He's evasive in a way and it makes me feel like..."is he just talking BS to me?"
I'm a Scorpio too...but I guess I tend to explain things to people if I like them.
One thing I guess is that mayeb he does not know how much I like him. I've never told him.
Looks like your 20 years experience isn't working well for you...
I think you did get a bit clingy and insecure after. What women hasn't!
I'd stop worrying too much and relax and go with the flow. Easily said than done but if you don't you could end up driving him away and ending up with exactly what you didn't want in the first place!
It's natural for a guy (or girl) to want to pull away and have space and regroup after some intimacy. He doesn't sound like a bad dude so try to give him the benefit of the doubt first before accusing him of thinking bad things of him.
I think you did get a bit clingy and insecure after. What women hasn't!
I'd stop worrying too much and relax and go with the flow. Easily said than done but if you don't you could end up driving him away and ending up with exactly what you didn't want in the first place!
It's natural for a guy (or girl) to want to pull away and have space and regroup after some intimacy. He doesn't sound like a bad dude so try to give him the benefit of the doubt first before accusing him of thinking bad things of him.
Honestly, I have never had anyone pull back after intimacy. It's always been the opposite, so its good to know that it's something that happens. I have genuinely never had that experience unless the guy was dumping me.
As a Scorpio girl...men tend to get a little obsessive in this early stages and I'm not used to this.
As a Scorpio girl...men tend to get a little obsessive in this early stages and I'm not used to this.
Posted by ElyssiaSo you made him beg you for 6 months for a date and you "laughed it off" & "decided to give it a shot"...you screw him on the first date, dump him based on assumptions, then asks you on a second date, you screw him again and still feel confused. First of all when you bring up the word dignity, I get it because I'm loaded with it...I don't fuck men on the first or second date, I kind of get to know them in a relationship stage FIRST. This way, when I do decide to lay down with a man, I am pretty much confident in where I stand, have gotten to know who they really are and base my decision off of that. However, there's another reason why you are confused, and that is simply that he is mirroring YOU. How do think he is feeling if you've NEVER told him how you feel? I mean you started this whole thing off with this attitude:
And honestly....when I "dumped" him, I expected to never hear from him again. From my 20 years experience of relationships and dating...when a man disappears after the first sex
It's not like that with everyone.
ME: I'm sorry, I guess I was just hurt.
HIM: you have no reason to be hurt.
ME: I'm sorry. Friends?
HIM: Well friends of course...but wuld you not want to have another date?
And it's like this...but then he has the second date and does it again. All of a sudden he goes from texting me all day of how he is thinking of me, to just a few texts a day that are really detatched.
He's evasive in a way and it makes me feel like..."is he just talking BS to me?"
One thing I guess is that mayeb he does not know how much I like him. I've never told him.
Posted by Elyssia
He spent 6 months gently pursuing me, always there, always lightly suggesting I date him and give it a shot. I always laughed it off.
I had no attraction to him at all, but over a long period of being friends he kind of won me over to feel an emotional attachment to him and I finally agreed to the date.
I had no belief I would feel any attraction at all to him and felt like I held all the cards -
he totally texts me all the time, he goes out of his way to see me, he is clearly unbelievably attracted to me,
he has me feeling off balance. He doesn;t act like other guys...sometimes he is cold, sometimes he is distant,
sometimes he doesn;t seem to want to make plans in advance or commit to too much or tell me what he is thinking and I feel really uncomfortable.click to expand
Looks like he's doing all the work here, and you are giving him a big fat cheerio. Yet believe you have the right to bitch about it. Attitude needs adjustment big time. He's not a mind reader. People who choose not to share their feelings have insecurity issues and have a need to suck as much as they can out of the other person first (which he is CLEARLY doing) to feel secure about the other person's feelings. Aw shucks, he only texts you three times a day.. seriously? Maybe that's why you've been only dating for 20 years, the problem isn't men, it's you!
The more you refrain from opening up about how you feel, the more distant and chilly things are going to get. Please, don't blame him. Look into the mirror he's holding up and lose the my shit don't stink attitude. You might do ok.
The more you refrain from opening up about how you feel, the more distant and chilly things are going to get. Please, don't blame him. Look into the mirror he's holding up and lose the my shit don't stink attitude. You might do ok.
Posted by Elyssia
...I am talking about a man who texts me for months and months, want to skype, wants to meet for drinks, is absolutely DEDICATED to the idea of he and I being a couple - and we sleep together and BOOM - zero communication. One word answers, taking 24 hours to reply to a text.
This is not my problem here.
Posted by ElyssiaHmph. While his behaviour reeks of something unfavorable, if you try to take your emotions out of it for a second there may be some things at play here. First, I think sometimes people confuse things when they come on strong (daily text, etc) and that changes. You have to consider he was trying to get your attention with the intention of dating you. If he does not know you very well, the only way to get at you is a consistent "attack" of text and conversation. Remember, once a Scorp sets their mind to achieve something, there is no stoping them. He has achieved his goal, so there isn't any need to go full force anymore. That is not the same as lack of interest. You wouldn't keep running full force after you've cross the finish line would you? You ease up, because all of that energy isn't needed anymore. Clearly it is for you. So express that to him.
...And it's like this...but then he has the second date and does it again. All of a sudden he goes from texting me all day of how he is thinking of me, to just a few texts a day that are really detatched. He cancels a plan and says he is upset he can't make it, but does not suggest an alternative date to see me. He's evasive in a way and it makes me feel like...know how much I like him. I've never told him.
click to expand
The other thing to consider is the possibility that self esteem may be at play here. He admits to accepting that nothing would happen between the two of you and it has. He may be pulling back to process all of that. Water signs can be self centered when they're in their feels. Other than children, most could give a rat's a** what another person needs from them when they need time away to recharge, regroup and manage their feelings. He may simply be unaware of how this comes across. So speak to him about it.
I think once you've spoken to him you will be able to determine what's going on. If you see genuine effort on his part to improve communication and be more consistent in his approach with you, you'll know if this was just a plan to sleep with you and keep it moving. Just because he's came around for a second date doesn't mean it wasn't, so don't let that confuse you. Multiple sex sessions with no real intention behind them are just as meaningless as a traditional one night stand.
Cont...
^^^^
Finally, I'd sort out that "we're friends" thing. You clearly want more so stop p*ssyfooting around with that. You have no claim to demand his time if your "just friends". Get it sorted.
Finally, I'd sort out that "we're friends" thing. You clearly want more so stop p*ssyfooting around with that. You have no claim to demand his time if your "just friends". Get it sorted.
Posted by ElyssiaThat's the nice things about Scorp or Scorp relationships. They'll bring you back to reality.
Honestly, I have never had anyone pull back after intimacy. It's always been the opposite, so its good to know that it's something that happens. I have genuinely never had that experience unless the guy was dumping me.
As a Scorpio girl...men tend to get a little obsessive in this early stages and I'm not used to this.
This may be a good thing for you if you're willing to check the ego.
Some of these comments have gotten pretty unhelpful.
LetitB, I lost my Fiance in an accident so please don't presume to tell me that I am single because there is something wrong with me, you know nothing about me bar a few sentences. The point I was making is that I hve had a lifelong experience of all types of relationships and his cold behavior after time together is new to me. I didn't dump him based on assumptions. I dumped him based on a dramatic and unexplained change in his behavior which hurt me very much.
I come from a simple place where if I like someone I make time for them, and expect the same back. People show me they are thinking about me and have respect and caring for me but replying to my text messages. When they don't...it makes me feel bad. If you want to go on judging me, go right ahead, but I am 99.9% sure you'd be a bit "huh...have I done something wrong?" if the same happenned to you. And if you feel like someone is icing you out, it's not that easy to just ask them,
I did not make him beg me for six months! I didn't 'want to go out with him! I didn't find him attractive! That does not make me a bad person. He chose to chase me. Not me. I never asked for anything from him, I was minding my own business.
Yes, I slept with him on a first date but I hadn't just met him. I had known him a long time, and I DID already know him very well.
The very reason I "gave in" and decided to give him a try was actually because he chased for so long and was so persistent, determined and reliable. I figured if anyone liked me that much is was worth a shot and that he would treat me like gold. Turned out, he actually doesn't. So yeah...when he barely acknowledges me after sex it makes me feel bad. I don't think he should do it.
And I don't think it's that easy for me to tell him how I feel, because his beahvior makes me feel very uncertain that he wants me beyond sex. I have been through player after player and been mucked around, hurt, used and all sorts of things. I did not expect it from him of all people...but at times he sure does a good impression of a douche.
LetitB, I lost my Fiance in an accident so please don't presume to tell me that I am single because there is something wrong with me, you know nothing about me bar a few sentences. The point I was making is that I hve had a lifelong experience of all types of relationships and his cold behavior after time together is new to me. I didn't dump him based on assumptions. I dumped him based on a dramatic and unexplained change in his behavior which hurt me very much.
I come from a simple place where if I like someone I make time for them, and expect the same back. People show me they are thinking about me and have respect and caring for me but replying to my text messages. When they don't...it makes me feel bad. If you want to go on judging me, go right ahead, but I am 99.9% sure you'd be a bit "huh...have I done something wrong?" if the same happenned to you. And if you feel like someone is icing you out, it's not that easy to just ask them,
I did not make him beg me for six months! I didn't 'want to go out with him! I didn't find him attractive! That does not make me a bad person. He chose to chase me. Not me. I never asked for anything from him, I was minding my own business.
Yes, I slept with him on a first date but I hadn't just met him. I had known him a long time, and I DID already know him very well.
The very reason I "gave in" and decided to give him a try was actually because he chased for so long and was so persistent, determined and reliable. I figured if anyone liked me that much is was worth a shot and that he would treat me like gold. Turned out, he actually doesn't. So yeah...when he barely acknowledges me after sex it makes me feel bad. I don't think he should do it.
And I don't think it's that easy for me to tell him how I feel, because his beahvior makes me feel very uncertain that he wants me beyond sex. I have been through player after player and been mucked around, hurt, used and all sorts of things. I did not expect it from him of all people...but at times he sure does a good impression of a douche.
Thanks Pheonix, that was really helpful.
Never dated a Scorpio before.
Ican usually read situations, but this one has be baffled at times.
I do feel, deep down, that I am just a sexual conquest to him. I don't feel he puts in the kind of attention and build up of intimacy I would expect. I feel at arms length.
It's not a nice way to feel, and I don't think I am crazy.....he seems to want to keep a distance
Never dated a Scorpio before.
Ican usually read situations, but this one has be baffled at times.
I do feel, deep down, that I am just a sexual conquest to him. I don't feel he puts in the kind of attention and build up of intimacy I would expect. I feel at arms length.
It's not a nice way to feel, and I don't think I am crazy.....he seems to want to keep a distance
@Elyssia Ermagerd!! I had the same experience and went through the same exact situation with my current Scorpio boyfriend, during the beginning of our relationship :O May I ask what your sun sign is? I don't think he is playing games with you, as Scorpio males tend to take relationships seriously when they are genuinely interested. In order for me to better answer your question and help you, how long have you two been seeing each other now?
Elyssia, do you have fire placements in your chart?
I thought Let it be's post was rather spot on to be fair.
To answer those questions...
Spark - I am Scorpio too. We've been romantically involved for 3 weeks only. Have known each other a long time. I definitely don;t get the vibe he is sriously interested if I am honest. I think it's more like (as Phenoix said) a one night stand that just goes on for a while.
Damnata - I'm sorry I really don't know! I am quite typical Scorp in some ways, and quite UN typical in a lot of other ways. I'm not vengeful and don;t really ice people out. Actually more of a sucker really! Trust way too quick.
Spark - I am Scorpio too. We've been romantically involved for 3 weeks only. Have known each other a long time. I definitely don;t get the vibe he is sriously interested if I am honest. I think it's more like (as Phenoix said) a one night stand that just goes on for a while.
Damnata - I'm sorry I really don't know! I am quite typical Scorp in some ways, and quite UN typical in a lot of other ways. I'm not vengeful and don;t really ice people out. Actually more of a sucker really! Trust way too quick.
Posted by ElyssiaI see that. We have your kind show up here all the time. EXPECTING to hear justification and what you want to hear. If you don't hear it, well, your true personality just ~pops.~
Some of these comments have gotten pretty unhelpful.
Got it. One other thing before I stop burdening you with what you don't want to hear...
Expectations and entitlement won't get you jack shit. That attitude of yours needs to be tweaked.
You go ahead and continue to force him to play mind reader due to your ego and insecurity. See where that gets you. If you reread all the drama you've typed, you'll see so far it's gotten you nowhere.
...exits the poor me drama thread.... 😐
Posted by Elyssiago here, put your details in:
Damnata - I'm sorry I really don't know! I am quite typical Scorp in some ways, and quite UN typical in a lot of other ways. I'm not vengeful and don;t really ice people out. Actually more of a sucker really! Trust way too quick.
http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal
scroll down a bit and you will see these tables.
sun in x
moon in y
mercury in z
venus in t
mars in w
if you know your hour of birth, tell us the ascendant also. it's the first line in the second collumn.
I talked to him and he said he doesn't want a relationship, that he's not in a place to offer that and that he wants to continue as we are, seeing each other for sex, cuddles etc. but that he doesn't want commitment and can't offer any future. Was as my gut instincts were telling me.
Thanks everyone for the help. Maybe sun sings don't matter as much as behavior and his was sending a clear message that he didn't want intimacy.
LetItB, it's not about what I do or don't want to hear....it's easy to reel of insults at some stranger on the internet and when they respond by telling you that they think you're wrong, to get on your high horse and tell them that they just don't want to hear it. Kind of a cheap discussion tactic where you don't really seem to have any objective other than to bully. you're right, 100% right and not interested in considering the possibility that you might not actually know what you're talking about. Which says quite a lot about you.
As as self aware and intelligent adult I have the ability to listen to what you say and decide whether I feel it is on base or not. Sure...I have insecurities. I have plenty of flaws. I could list them off nd some of them are whoppers. The trouble is the situation you're describing is not really accurate and the drama you have created in this thread has been created by you and not me.
Stuff like "you made him beg you for six months" is just crazy nonsense. I didn't want him to do that, ask him to do that or encourage him in any way. You're creating a drama and a story in your mind based off 3 paragraphs and projecting it onto me. The point I was making was that I found it weird to be so into someone and then seem not so once you finally get them.
The conversation with him yesterday proves really, that sadly some people are willing to be crazy about you just long enough to get what they want and that they are willing to build up a faux friendship to get there.
I am sure in your little television conversation head where I am a picture on a page you will imagine some way for this to be all my fault....go right ahead...I honestly don't need your approval but feel like maybe if you want to post on threads criticising people you might want to think of your intention.
If it's just to be nasty and insulting then you are doing just fine.
If it's to genuinely make people see where their behavior might be wrong and help them see this and remedy it, you might want to adjust the tone and the words you use because to be honest when you started reeling off accusations at me that were totally unfounded I lost interest in anything that you might have potentially have to offer me because you came off as an internet bully as opposed to someone with a little wisdom to share in the same way the other posters have.
Like I said, you know zero about me.
Thanks everyone for the help. Maybe sun sings don't matter as much as behavior and his was sending a clear message that he didn't want intimacy.
LetItB, it's not about what I do or don't want to hear....it's easy to reel of insults at some stranger on the internet and when they respond by telling you that they think you're wrong, to get on your high horse and tell them that they just don't want to hear it. Kind of a cheap discussion tactic where you don't really seem to have any objective other than to bully. you're right, 100% right and not interested in considering the possibility that you might not actually know what you're talking about. Which says quite a lot about you.
As as self aware and intelligent adult I have the ability to listen to what you say and decide whether I feel it is on base or not. Sure...I have insecurities. I have plenty of flaws. I could list them off nd some of them are whoppers. The trouble is the situation you're describing is not really accurate and the drama you have created in this thread has been created by you and not me.
Stuff like "you made him beg you for six months" is just crazy nonsense. I didn't want him to do that, ask him to do that or encourage him in any way. You're creating a drama and a story in your mind based off 3 paragraphs and projecting it onto me. The point I was making was that I found it weird to be so into someone and then seem not so once you finally get them.
The conversation with him yesterday proves really, that sadly some people are willing to be crazy about you just long enough to get what they want and that they are willing to build up a faux friendship to get there.
I am sure in your little television conversation head where I am a picture on a page you will imagine some way for this to be all my fault....go right ahead...I honestly don't need your approval but feel like maybe if you want to post on threads criticising people you might want to think of your intention.
If it's just to be nasty and insulting then you are doing just fine.
If it's to genuinely make people see where their behavior might be wrong and help them see this and remedy it, you might want to adjust the tone and the words you use because to be honest when you started reeling off accusations at me that were totally unfounded I lost interest in anything that you might have potentially have to offer me because you came off as an internet bully as opposed to someone with a little wisdom to share in the same way the other posters have.
Like I said, you know zero about me.
Frankly, you might have fucked it up by shagging him too soon. Now that's not always the case at all. Just because you sleep together on the first date it doesn't mean it can't work out. What doesn't make sense to me is him chasing you for six months, then getting you, then dumping you immediately. If he genuinely liked you and wanted you then he wouldn't do. It may be you had a lucky escape as he's not as nice as he makes out. It could be you're a crap shag or he felt no spark. It doesn't really match up but you have your answer and he doesn't want anything more than a FWB. That's your choice to accept or reject. I wouldn't entertain him further but that's me.
I wasn't trying to date him. So I had no agenda to time "sleeping with him" to lure him into a relationship.
I waited a long time to sleep with him. Maybe not a lot of dates, but we knew each other a year and for six months we talked a lot. I feel he knows me well enough to make a decision if he wanted to be with me or not; and he definitely gave me false impressions.
I am fine, such people exist in the world and no -I won't be seeing him again.
I waited a long time to sleep with him. Maybe not a lot of dates, but we knew each other a year and for six months we talked a lot. I feel he knows me well enough to make a decision if he wanted to be with me or not; and he definitely gave me false impressions.
I am fine, such people exist in the world and no -I won't be seeing him again.
Sorry AgentP911 -he wasn't dumping me, he seemed pretty upset that I did not want to continue with the arrangement....what he was saying was "I want you, want to continue sleeping with you for as long as possible, going on dates etc. but I am not going to call you unless I want a hook up and I am not going to offer you intimacy or a future". It's a FWB he wants with a few extras.
I'm really not sitting there devastated or anything, I am just glad I hve the answers to the odd behavior because it just didn't feel like courtship to me as I have previously known it and it was making me feel crazy.
I'm really not sitting there devastated or anything, I am just glad I hve the answers to the odd behavior because it just didn't feel like courtship to me as I have previously known it and it was making me feel crazy.
Posted by AgentP911He clearly a fcuking cunt
Frankly, you might have fucked it up by shagging him too soon. Now that's not always the case at all. Just because you sleep together on the first date it doesn't mean it can't work out. What doesn't make sense to me is him chasing you for six months, then getting you, then dumping you immediately. If he genuinely liked you and wanted you then he wouldn't do. It may be you had a lucky escape as he's not as nice as he makes out. It could be you're a crap shag or he felt no spark. It doesn't really match up but you have your answer and he doesn't want anything more than a FWB. That's your choice to accept or reject. I wouldn't entertain him further but that's me.
What cunt chases for 6 months
A sad one that's what
Pffffffff that's bad
Posted by TaniwhaWhy should she have sex with him ?
Just keep having amazing sex with him. We love sex.
Free prostitution ?
Posted by Taniwha😆 Sexy
Just keep having amazing sex with him. We love sex.
Posted by TaniwhaI don't see no magic penis
Because she made a thread about his magic penis.
All I see is CUNT
Lol
I didn't want sex. I presumed (maybe stupidly) that someone who spends months and months asking you out - getting to know you - being there for you - becoming a friend and investing like that would want a meaningful relatonship. It's up to him if he thinks that's a worthwhile investment of his time. It's definitely not a worthwhile investment of mine. For me, sex without the rest is dull, boring and feels yuk.
I won't sleep with him again.
I am kind of relieved to be honest....this non relationship was confusing and now at least it's clear.
I won't sleep with him again.
I am kind of relieved to be honest....this non relationship was confusing and now at least it's clear.
Posted by ElyssiaThat's awful I don't give a shit what the others say on here , you don't deserve that so fucking what you didn't sexually like him first off you were being friendly with him and your feelings grew ...
I didn't want sex. I presumed (maybe stupidly) that someone who spends months and months asking you out - getting to know you - being there for you - becoming a friend and investing like that would want a meaningful relatonship. It's up to him if he thinks that's a worthwhile investment of his time. It's definitely not a worthwhile investment of mine. For me, sex without the rest is dull, boring and feels yuk.
I won't sleep with him again.
I am kind of relieved to be honest....this non relationship was confusing and now at least it's clear.
For fcuks sake this happens time and time again women meet ugly fcuking men all the time and fall for them over time for who they are. Men are diff they don't do that normally. Does that make you bad NO it doesn't.
The fcuking hypocrites on this site are vomit inducing douche baggery much ?!?!?
Don't let them make you feel bad , you have a fcuking right to not want someone first off and then fall for them because they faked a friendship with you made you feel they were honest .
Fcuk him to hell he's s a cunt
Never go near his ugly dick again.
Posted by TaniwhaIt could be he's acting that way because he feels hurt
Reading through this thread seems like a bunch of jealous bitches are trying to tell you he is no good for you. but you clearly have something big going on with him. Stick at it, its not easy but it might be worth it.
He is a scorp after all. Maybe he wants her to persue him.
I just can't accept a person would be that way
Fake a friendship! Surely guys don't chase that long for a hit and quit .
Posted by TaniwhaI thought this tooPosted by TinxyHe wants her so fucking bad his head is spinning, its fucking obvious.Posted by TaniwhaIt could be he's acting that way because he feels hurt
Reading through this thread seems like a bunch of jealous bitches are trying to tell you he is no good for you. but you clearly have something big going on with him. Stick at it, its not easy but it might be worth it.
He is a scorp after all. Maybe he wants her to persue him.
I just can't accept a person would be that way
Fake a friendship! Surely guys don't chase that long for a hit and quit .
click to expand
But as usual the fcuk bags on this site influence my thought process Loool
Thinking about it this is something is do act like I didn't want someone from fear of getting hurt .
He's a scorp we do mad shit like that .
The cunts on this forum blow my brains out.
Don't they realise they influence peoples judgements
I get it it's just opinions but fcuk this woman could have her future hubby in front of her but listen to these cunts on here
Posted by LetltBPosted by ElyssiaSo you made him beg you for 6 months for a date and you "laughed it off" & "decided to give it a shot"...you screw him on the first date, dump him based on assumptions, then asks you on a second date, you screw him again and still feel confused. First of all when you bring up the word dignity, I get it because I'm loaded with it...I don't fuck men on the first or second date, I kind of get to know them in a relationship stage FIRST. This way, when I do decide to lay down with a man, I am pretty much confident in where I stand, have gotten to know who they really are and base my decision off of that. However, there's another reason why you are confused, and that is simply that he is mirroring YOU. How do think he is feeling if you've NEVER told him how you feel? I mean you started this whole thing off with this attitude:
And honestly....when I "dumped" him, I expected to never hear from him again. From my 20 years experience of relationships and dating...when a man disappears after the first sex
It's not like that with everyone.
ME: I'm sorry, I guess I was just hurt.
HIM: you have no reason to be hurt.
ME: I'm sorry. Friends?
HIM: Well friends of course...but wuld you not want to have another date?
And it's like this...but then he has the second date and does it again. All of a sudden he goes from texting me all day of how he is thinking of me, to just a few texts a day that are really detatched.
He's evasive in a way and it makes me feel like..."is he just talking BS to me?"
One thing I guess is that mayeb he does not know how much I like him. I've never told him.
Posted by Elyssia
He spent 6 months gently pursuing me, always there, always lightly suggesting I date him and give it a shot. I always laughed it off.
I had no attraction to him at all, but over a long period of being friends he kind of won me over to feel an emotional attachment to him and I finally agreed to the date.
I had no belief I would feel any attraction at all to him and felt like I held all the cards -
he totally texts me all the time, he goes out of his way to see me, he is clearly unbelievably attracted to me,
he has me feeling off balance. He doesn;t act like other guys...sometimes he is cold, sometimes he is distant,
sometimes he doesn;t seem to want to make plans in advance or commit to too much or tell me what he is thinking and I feel really uncomfortable.click to expand
Couldn't have said it any better.
Posted by LetltB
Looks like he's doing all the work here, and you are giving him a big fat cheerio. Yet believe you have the right to bitch about it. Attitude needs adjustment big time. He's not a mind reader. People who choose not to share their feelings have insecurity issues and have a need to suck as much as they can out of the other person first (which he is CLEARLY doing) to feel secure about the other person's feelings. Aw shucks, he only texts you three times a day.. seriously? Maybe that's why you've been only dating for 20 years, the problem isn't men, it's you!
The more you refrain from opening up about how you feel, the more distant and chilly things are going to get. Please, don't blame him. Look into the mirror he's holding up and lose the my shit don't stink attitude. You might do ok.
+1!!!
Posted by Taniwha
Reading through this thread seems like a bunch of jealous bitches are trying to tell you he is no good for you. but you clearly have something big going on with him. Stick at it, its not easy but it might be worth it.
Jealous bitches, really? Typical immature assumption and statement. The problem with some of us women is that we don't want to hear the truth about men and relationships. You're telling her to stick it out, it may may be worth it after he said he doesn't want a relationship? Again, you're giving her false hope. As the old saying goes, the truth hurts sometimes whether you want to hear it or not.
Posted by TinxyPosted by ElyssiaThat's awful I don't give a shit what the others say on here , you don't deserve that so fucking what you didn't sexually like him first off you were being friendly with him and your feelings grew ...
I didn't want sex. I presumed (maybe stupidly) that someone who spends months and months asking you out - getting to know you - being there for you - becoming a friend and investing like that would want a meaningful relatonship. It's up to him if he thinks that's a worthwhile investment of his time. It's definitely not a worthwhile investment of mine. For me, sex without the rest is dull, boring and feels yuk.
I won't sleep with him again.
I am kind of relieved to be honest....this non relationship was confusing and now at least it's clear.
For fcuks sake this happens time and time again women meet ugly fcuking men all the time and fall for them over time for who they are. Men are diff they don't do that normally. Does that make you bad NO it doesn't.
The fcuking hypocrites on this site are vomit inducing douche baggery much ?!?!?
Don't let them make you feel bad , you have a fcuking right to not want someone first off and then fall for them because they faked a friendship with you made you feel they were honest .
Fcuk him to hell he's s a cunt
Never go near his ugly dick again.
click to expand
Oh geez.....I totally understand why men say what they say about women. I get it. This is the same "whoa is me, I'm the victim here" typical advice. She has responsibility in this also.
Posted by IamawineloverAgreedPosted by TinxyPosted by ElyssiaThat's awful I don't give a shit what the others say on here , you don't deserve that so fucking what you didn't sexually like him first off you were being friendly with him and your feelings grew ...
I didn't want sex. I presumed (maybe stupidly) that someone who spends months and months asking you out - getting to know you - being there for you - becoming a friend and investing like that would want a meaningful relatonship. It's up to him if he thinks that's a worthwhile investment of his time. It's definitely not a worthwhile investment of mine. For me, sex without the rest is dull, boring and feels yuk.
I won't sleep with him again.
I am kind of relieved to be honest....this non relationship was confusing and now at least it's clear.
For fcuks sake this happens time and time again women meet ugly fcuking men all the time and fall for them over time for who they are. Men are diff they don't do that normally. Does that make you bad NO it doesn't.
The fcuking hypocrites on this site are vomit inducing douche baggery much ?!?!?
Don't let them make you feel bad , you have a fcuking right to not want someone first off and then fall for them because they faked a friendship with you made you feel they were honest .
Fcuk him to hell he's s a cunt
Never go near his ugly dick again.
Oh geez.....I totally understand why men say what they say about women. I get it. This is the same "whoa is me, I'm the victim here" typical advice. She has responsibility in this also.click to expand
I'm not saying she's innocent here. There had been a massive communication failure.
Two wrongs never make a right.
They are both scorps protecting their egos
So let's help this woman see her wrongs and help her fix it.
Posted by TinxyPosted by IamawineloverAgreedPosted by TinxyPosted by ElyssiaThat's awful I don't give a shit what the others say on here , you don't deserve that so fucking what you didn't sexually like him first off you were being friendly with him and your feelings grew ...
I didn't want sex. I presumed (maybe stupidly) that someone who spends months and months asking you out - getting to know you - being there for you - becoming a friend and investing like that would want a meaningful relatonship. It's up to him if he thinks that's a worthwhile investment of his time. It's definitely not a worthwhile investment of mine. For me, sex without the rest is dull, boring and feels yuk.
I won't sleep with him again.
I am kind of relieved to be honest....this non relationship was confusing and now at least it's clear.
For fcuks sake this happens time and time again women meet ugly fcuking men all the time and fall for them over time for who they are. Men are diff they don't do that normally. Does that make you bad NO it doesn't.
The fcuking hypocrites on this site are vomit inducing douche baggery much ?!?!?
Don't let them make you feel bad , you have a fcuking right to not want someone first off and then fall for them because they faked a friendship with you made you feel they were honest .
Fcuk him to hell he's s a cunt
Never go near his ugly dick again.
Oh geez.....I totally understand why men say what they say about women. I get it. This is the same "whoa is me, I'm the victim here" typical advice. She has responsibility in this also.
I'm not saying she's innocent here. There had been a massive communication failure.
Two wrongs never make a right.
They are both scorps protecting their egos
So let's help this woman see her wrongs and help her fix it.
click to expand
That's exactly it! There were people trying to help her see her wrongs but she didn't want to accept it; maybe because of how it was said but it was the truth. You're right, two wrongs don't make it right but again at the same time, the truth hurts. She has to take a look in the mirror and come to some conclusions of how she may need to adjust some things about herself going forward. Once that happens, then she will have a better understanding of how to deal with the next guy whether he is a Scorpio or not.
Okay. For the sake of setting all this for you guys...
My Fiance had an accident and I lost him 3 years ago. I grieved for a couple of years, and then started dating. I met Mr Scorpio pretty much a year ago and he asked me out. I said "no" because:
1. I felt no chemistry (he seemed quiet and not that interesting)
2. He is younger than me (I am 35 he is 29) and I was doubtful someone that age would be serious about committing to an older woman,
3. I did not have a physical attraction.
None of that is wrong...I have a right to date who I want to.
He wanted to be friends. He was never pushy. He never tried it on with me. He was just nice and became a friend. Over a year of dating, I dated a lot of douches. I was am / quite emotionally tender and vulnerable and of course lonely also and have experienced players, liars and men trying to get me into bed.
Mr Scorpio was saying all the way through "hey, here I am...I m a good guy. Like me. Trust me. Date me". And one lonely day I did decided to give things a go because he made me feel safe and cared for and THEREFORE my attraction GREW towards him.
No, I did not take it too serious, but clearly he didn't either. I did start to feel when I was with him that I had grown feelings for him and my EXPECTATION was....yes...that he had wnated me for a very long time and persuaded me to be with him so I figured he would seem more sure about it.
After I got with him, all that initial behavior of being always there, always persistent, always an open book changed very dramatically.
I was hurt.
I was confused.
I have my answers....I was always the "hot older woman" and it was always little more than a friends with benefits arrangement for him.
If he does have some sort of feelings towards me, he hasn't acted like he does and I am honestly struggling to see how you feel I am to blame. I was oferred a situation, when I took it, the situation I was oferred became very diferrent. It's like buying a firm matress and getting a soft one.
I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting to me phoned back, expecting to be courted and treated with respect by a man who is trying to date you. I think any woman with an ounce of self respect should wait for a guy to come along who delivers on that.
I don't regret dumping him after he first "went icy" on me after that first date. I DO regret listening to his BS and him getting a second, third and fourth date. I should have trusted my instincts and followed the age old wisdom...."believe someone's actions, not their words".
My Fiance had an accident and I lost him 3 years ago. I grieved for a couple of years, and then started dating. I met Mr Scorpio pretty much a year ago and he asked me out. I said "no" because:
1. I felt no chemistry (he seemed quiet and not that interesting)
2. He is younger than me (I am 35 he is 29) and I was doubtful someone that age would be serious about committing to an older woman,
3. I did not have a physical attraction.
None of that is wrong...I have a right to date who I want to.
He wanted to be friends. He was never pushy. He never tried it on with me. He was just nice and became a friend. Over a year of dating, I dated a lot of douches. I was am / quite emotionally tender and vulnerable and of course lonely also and have experienced players, liars and men trying to get me into bed.
Mr Scorpio was saying all the way through "hey, here I am...I m a good guy. Like me. Trust me. Date me". And one lonely day I did decided to give things a go because he made me feel safe and cared for and THEREFORE my attraction GREW towards him.
No, I did not take it too serious, but clearly he didn't either. I did start to feel when I was with him that I had grown feelings for him and my EXPECTATION was....yes...that he had wnated me for a very long time and persuaded me to be with him so I figured he would seem more sure about it.
After I got with him, all that initial behavior of being always there, always persistent, always an open book changed very dramatically.
I was hurt.
I was confused.
I have my answers....I was always the "hot older woman" and it was always little more than a friends with benefits arrangement for him.
If he does have some sort of feelings towards me, he hasn't acted like he does and I am honestly struggling to see how you feel I am to blame. I was oferred a situation, when I took it, the situation I was oferred became very diferrent. It's like buying a firm matress and getting a soft one.
I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting to me phoned back, expecting to be courted and treated with respect by a man who is trying to date you. I think any woman with an ounce of self respect should wait for a guy to come along who delivers on that.
I don't regret dumping him after he first "went icy" on me after that first date. I DO regret listening to his BS and him getting a second, third and fourth date. I should have trusted my instincts and followed the age old wisdom...."believe someone's actions, not their words".
Posted by TinxyPosted by TaniwhaI didn 't think so either!
Surely guys don't chase that long for a hit and quit .
click to expand
What I meant really in my confusion was that if a guy had done this after I'd just met him it would be obvious....but the time he invested and he seemed so sincere, so kind of....honest...so almost infatuated with me that my genuine worry when I started this up was that I would hurt him by not being able to return his devotion.
To say this all shocked me is an understatement.
Everything he says and does is contradictory.
During his "no commitment" conversation he also said he:
a) wants me to spend more time with his friends
b) doesn't want me to date anyone else
c) wants to go on a trip together
It's like a very weird, intense version of FWB that I can't understand.
Lamawinelover...
I'm a totally confused.
You "could not agree more" with LetitBes statement that it's all my fault, the guy is clearly holding back his feelings because I am not giving him enough and then 2 sentences down you are saying not to have false hope and to get out?
Whaaat?
Which is it?
I am a mean nasty person who forced toyed with this man's affections for months, pushed and pulled him, made him feel bad and dumped him because I have issues OR he is a douche who lied to me to get me into bed and then behaved like a totally diferrent person?
Seems like you're jumping on the bandwagon (I only joined yesterday but presume you are friends with LetitB and just want to agree to seem cool?)
Seems like it's ben proven that LetiitB's magnanamous assessment was totally wrong.
He wasn;t being a doucher because I was not giving him enough. He was just a douche.
I'm a totally confused.
You "could not agree more" with LetitBes statement that it's all my fault, the guy is clearly holding back his feelings because I am not giving him enough and then 2 sentences down you are saying not to have false hope and to get out?
Whaaat?
Which is it?
I am a mean nasty person who forced toyed with this man's affections for months, pushed and pulled him, made him feel bad and dumped him because I have issues OR he is a douche who lied to me to get me into bed and then behaved like a totally diferrent person?
Seems like you're jumping on the bandwagon (I only joined yesterday but presume you are friends with LetitB and just want to agree to seem cool?)
Seems like it's ben proven that LetiitB's magnanamous assessment was totally wrong.
He wasn;t being a doucher because I was not giving him enough. He was just a douche.
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