Really Disturbed

Ok, I don't know if I'm seeking advice or just need to release this, because I'm feeling disturbed to my core and I don't like it...

Background history, short and hitting highlights...I dated a Scorpio LDR for about 8 months, first few months we saw each other every weekend, then he took a job overseas (temporarily). He had some great qualities. He proposed, I accepted, but THEN his jealousy and insecurities were getting more and more over the top. I found out he was online, so I broke things off with him. Needless to say, he apologized and wanted to work things out and I agreed. In Sept he's back home and comes to see me, something feels "off" to me, he's trying to be his sweet self and randomly stopping me saying "you know I love you." He goes back home, never to hear from him again

3 weeks ago, one of his good friend's wife contacted me through FB, asking if I had heard from him. "No, and I'm through with him and I don't keep up with him, etc." WELL, she then proceeds to tell me that he had pictures posted on his FB page of his new "young thing" fiance' and their talks of their upcoming wedding etc, but know the pictures are all gone and there's no trace of any posts from the new fiance', SO I guess that didn't work out.

I'm thinking to myself...why are YOU telling me this. Although we became FBF shortly after the ex introduced me to her and her husband, we never talked, except after the ex and I broke up and she wanted to know what happened. I had prayed on our relationship and the break-up was needed, red flags that I kept forgiving wasn't a good thing. So, I was at peace with things and knew I still had some internal work to do on me. But I didn't like how she sought me out to tell me this. I felt this person just wanted to get things stirred up, so I had to un-friend her.

Yesterday afternoon, I'm looking through some pictures online and come across a few with him in it and decided to delete them. There were no ill feelings felt when I looked at the pictures, I then knew I had worked through that chapter in my life and had moved on.

That evening, I could not fall asleep. I tossed and turned, but could not get comfortable. So, I decided to play around on the computer, then my phone rings at 12:30 in the morning. The caller id has some strange number sequence, but I'm brave and I answer it. It's the scorpio ex, calling 7 months later. How's work, how's your friend, how's the kids, how are you? Great, great, great and

"Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to call and see how you are doing?" I respond, "ok, you have a great night" and I hung up.

As soon as my brain registered his voice in my head, my whole body tensed up. After the call ended I kept asking myself, "am I sleep and I'm dreaming all this." I woke this morning still asking was that really a dream, because whatever it was that washed over me when he called, I just can't describe and put to words it just felt unreal and weird.

I strongly believe that whatever situation we are placed in, it's for a reason. Before the phone call I was trying to figure out why I couldn't sleep. Then this thought occurred to me...it's been a few months since I've felt the warmth of a man's arms hold me. And I'm just having that natural desire to be held, loved, protected and all that other good stuff. I'm laying on the couch processing how I'm feeling, that's when I get the phone call.

Although I was having feelings of loneliness, I was strong and did not allow a man who is totally wrong for me, make his way back into my life while I was probably at my weakest. The day before I had been reading a book "It's Not Him, It's YOU," and had been mediating on the section about being discriminating and sticking with your standards while dating. Which made me reflect on situations where I found I had second guessed my standards or just ignored them, when I started to discover things about the ex, that I forgave vs. standing my ground and letting the relationship go long before the proposal.

I don't want to ever settle again and as I type out my thoughts, I believe that God put me through this situation last night to see if I had really learned the lesson here. I can say no and do what's best for ME.

What a phenomenal story!! That was very strong of you. Thanks for sharing!!

I like the stance you took on this. I've been through some similar stuff and really had to think about it and realize that even if I was lonely they aren't the best for me, cus if I got back into it the old wounds would open up and I'd have made the same stupid mistake again.

Kudos to you!

Thanks guys for the words of encouragement. This afternoon I decided to email the ex, I don't know if I still have a valid address but I felt I needed to tell him how I felt. The main thing I stated in the email was that HE chose to leave MY life and I asked him to respect my wishes and keep it that way...don't contact me any more. I've dealt with the pain and now have moved on and will continue to move forward in a positive direction.

You go girl! You are in control!

Yaas, girl. You're an inspiration!

Darn! It hurts my body. I've almost died reading it.

However...does he have a heart?

How could he hurt you like that?

Have you done your part and can't see it and admit it?

Just wondering...

This story inspired me. Damn, I'll say usually I don't read through but this definatley hooked me in. Did he ever try calling you again? Thats crazy. He sounds very insecure.

Posted by AprilFoolsUHoe
This story inspired me. Damn, I'll say usually I don't read through but this definatley hooked me in. Did he ever try calling you again? Thats crazy. He sounds very insecure.

It inspired me too.