callmemsram
@callmemsram
20 YearsAries
Comments: 0 · Posts: 178 · Topics: 11
recovery from a bad sting?
As long as mind and heart are busy with "why" and try to victimise and make a martyr of her/himself?..they suffer..!
Some MUST realise that matters of emotions and hearts are generally illogical and can not be explained.. A person that is disgusting today; tomorrow will be sweet as honey, and vice-versa?.! It's all planetary effects "wise couples use these effects in their benefits", but are we all wise enough to understand this "ebb and flow"..??
Knowing and realising that nothing "last forever", help the victim of circumstances ease up!, drink a lot of "laxatives" also helps to forget the heart pain?!
🙂
Some MUST realise that matters of emotions and hearts are generally illogical and can not be explained.. A person that is disgusting today; tomorrow will be sweet as honey, and vice-versa?.! It's all planetary effects "wise couples use these effects in their benefits", but are we all wise enough to understand this "ebb and flow"..??
Knowing and realising that nothing "last forever", help the victim of circumstances ease up!, drink a lot of "laxatives" also helps to forget the heart pain?!
🙂
It's been about three weeks since I've seen my Cancer guy, if I can call him that now.
You're right about having many irons in the fire. Get busy; get very busy. The best advice I was given was to get out in the public.
Scorpios are emotional; sometimes they play on the feelings of others. Cancers are no different. Right now my mind changes every five minutes; and until that part changes, I don't want to see much of anyone.
Qbone, you're right; nothing lasts forever; I sure thought this would, but the sun does come up again, every morning.
You're right about having many irons in the fire. Get busy; get very busy. The best advice I was given was to get out in the public.
Scorpios are emotional; sometimes they play on the feelings of others. Cancers are no different. Right now my mind changes every five minutes; and until that part changes, I don't want to see much of anyone.
Qbone, you're right; nothing lasts forever; I sure thought this would, but the sun does come up again, every morning.
Then wise-up ladydane?.! Our pride always makes things difficult especially when other part behaviours is not favourable, see the reason that why you two got together in the first place, not the reasons that you two should be apart?!
Remember that things happen, and if you allow their poison affecting your spirit and love, then you'll wandering around without knowing who you are or what you want, and it takes long time to recover, when you get in love with another person, you will do the same mistake again, and same happen again and again, and again, as long as you run from it, it will continue.
Concentrate on the fact that you loved and still love your ex, you are just too pride and stubborn "your ex too".
Remember that things happen, and if you allow their poison affecting your spirit and love, then you'll wandering around without knowing who you are or what you want, and it takes long time to recover, when you get in love with another person, you will do the same mistake again, and same happen again and again, and again, as long as you run from it, it will continue.
Concentrate on the fact that you loved and still love your ex, you are just too pride and stubborn "your ex too".
pride=proud... sorry
Where did you learn all of this, Qbone?
It's called "Age and Experience" haffo?. Sometimes.!
You should write a book about that. Really.
🙂
First have a really good cry so there isn't pent up energy.Agree w/ ladydane,I found keeping myself busy works to keep your mind off it.Pick up some hobbies and artistic pastimes when your not working or with family.Hanging out alot with family and friends tend to get you feeling better too.
You said that you have doubts about him.
Oh well, what about to take a gun, chain this man and torture him until he give answears to all your questions. LOL!
Ok, now seriously. The biggest killer that person can have is a doubt! If person leaves you always in doubt and guessing, what kind of benefit this person could provide you? You cannot estabilish a basic communication which is called "trust".
Oh well, what about to take a gun, chain this man and torture him until he give answears to all your questions. LOL!
Ok, now seriously. The biggest killer that person can have is a doubt! If person leaves you always in doubt and guessing, what kind of benefit this person could provide you? You cannot estabilish a basic communication which is called "trust".
Qbone.........I respect your wisdom and very pleased that there are some men who are not just out there for the experience, but for one who has experience.....Thank you
Pride goeth before a fall...I know this.
Right now I need an attitude for a while. What I think actually happened is he tried to make me jealous by saying things like he was going to find someone else. Before that I said that he was a lot more demanding than I am. He thinks I'm using him. I let my guard down by telling him that I wanted more from the relationship than I was getting, because he wanted to know what I expected from him. He said he doesn't believe I love him. I told him he would never see this as anything but a control issue.
He expected me to get down on my hands and knees...but it backfired on him.
This is a child; I will have to treat him like one. He has said a lot of things in the past two years just trying to make me mad and I have let them slide because I knew if I confronted him with it, he would run, which is exactly what he did. It's okay for him to start an argument; it's not okay for me to.
His terms are set in stone; they are non-negotiable. In the past, he got burned bad enough to get cynical, closed off, and all women are the same. He has not gone full circle with it.
He says trust and communication are the key. This man has created his own cell, put himself inside it, and locked himself in from the inside. The only way you can get in is with a password; and he makes you guess at it.
It is necessary that I stay mad for awhile. He is used to being told whatever he wants to hear. He complained to me all the time about his sister and the way she is, but as soon as his pride is hurt, she is the first one he goes to.
Right now I'm out of it.
If I have done anything wrong, it's that I jumped the gun too soon and expected more from him than he could give. But I figured two years of feeding his ego at the expense of my own is enough.
Right now I need an attitude for a while. What I think actually happened is he tried to make me jealous by saying things like he was going to find someone else. Before that I said that he was a lot more demanding than I am. He thinks I'm using him. I let my guard down by telling him that I wanted more from the relationship than I was getting, because he wanted to know what I expected from him. He said he doesn't believe I love him. I told him he would never see this as anything but a control issue.
He expected me to get down on my hands and knees...but it backfired on him.
This is a child; I will have to treat him like one. He has said a lot of things in the past two years just trying to make me mad and I have let them slide because I knew if I confronted him with it, he would run, which is exactly what he did. It's okay for him to start an argument; it's not okay for me to.
His terms are set in stone; they are non-negotiable. In the past, he got burned bad enough to get cynical, closed off, and all women are the same. He has not gone full circle with it.
He says trust and communication are the key. This man has created his own cell, put himself inside it, and locked himself in from the inside. The only way you can get in is with a password; and he makes you guess at it.
It is necessary that I stay mad for awhile. He is used to being told whatever he wants to hear. He complained to me all the time about his sister and the way she is, but as soon as his pride is hurt, she is the first one he goes to.
Right now I'm out of it.
If I have done anything wrong, it's that I jumped the gun too soon and expected more from him than he could give. But I figured two years of feeding his ego at the expense of my own is enough.
Do I still love him? Of course I do, but telling him that is a mute point as he has never believed that I did.
Not long before the breakup, I told him that I would put up with just about anything but infidelity. He tested me on everything, and I mean everything. When he said he could find someone else, I called his bluff; I confronted him with it; he ran, and this is where we sit. He wanted to know my breaking point; he found it. He is pouting big time.
Not long before the breakup, I told him that I would put up with just about anything but infidelity. He tested me on everything, and I mean everything. When he said he could find someone else, I called his bluff; I confronted him with it; he ran, and this is where we sit. He wanted to know my breaking point; he found it. He is pouting big time.
I think he might come around ladydane,of course that is my overly optimistic thinking setting in now,but somewhere along the line whether he admits to it or not.He's gotta know he blew it by acting like a baby.If he can't handle admitting it and being honest w/ himself thats his problem.That was what your thing was,you were up front about it and so you proved it to be correct so your not in any kind of fault.Pouting big time,don't give in to that he's going to have to grow up if you want a remotely sane relationship.
Ladydane..
I am not saying that this difficulties in your life is your own fault, but hell lady.. you are stubborn as hell? you've said 2 years..?? This stuff takes time to get developed and "MUST" get out gradually in time and in orderly system.
See.. Take a most interesting book in the world.. If you read first couple of pages, some in the middle and last couple of pages, then you know the whole damn thing, Is that still interesting to have and keep that book..?? Same goes in relationship, if you insist to know it all so fast what would be interesting to keep this relationship then, be patience with each other.
Nothing is perfect and this is the most interesting side of the life, what do you going to do with perfect relationship..?? In my opinion a perfect relationship is boring and prone to be corrupted one way or another, because it is not challenging.
Now.. After only two years of living together you face the challenge, and what you both did is to back off and backfire to a life you both suppose to take care of it, instead of finding a solution to continue it and take it to the next level of understanding.
To my experience this will happen when couples get bored and start to scan each other's "hidden personality" deeply, that "hidden personality" are things that should remain "hidden" till that person dies
Live the man alone in his shell, what do you want and expecting to find inside there..? It's nothing but pile of crap and ghosts, believe me we all carry those sh!t more or less, and we all are sensitive and scared to death to expose those that we name it sentimentally "private secrets", hell yeah? the weigh and smell of those secrets going to kill us not our age!
Perhaps deep inside you guys never loved each other at first place, perhaps you needed him and he needed you to resolve some very personal and private matters at earlier stage, now matters are gone and you both are awake and say.. who the hell are you..??.
No one knows but you two, I am not in the position to say what is good and what is bad or what should be done, you two know much better than anyone else to what to do, if you both allow yourselves to be fair and responsible to each other and see things in a new and different light and mature way of thinking.
When a dog barfing at you, you barfing back..?? or when life kicking at you, you kick back..??
Instead of taking control of your surrounding, try to understand it, you can only control yourself?. So get on with it....right now? today..!
I am not saying that this difficulties in your life is your own fault, but hell lady.. you are stubborn as hell? you've said 2 years..?? This stuff takes time to get developed and "MUST" get out gradually in time and in orderly system.
See.. Take a most interesting book in the world.. If you read first couple of pages, some in the middle and last couple of pages, then you know the whole damn thing, Is that still interesting to have and keep that book..?? Same goes in relationship, if you insist to know it all so fast what would be interesting to keep this relationship then, be patience with each other.
Nothing is perfect and this is the most interesting side of the life, what do you going to do with perfect relationship..?? In my opinion a perfect relationship is boring and prone to be corrupted one way or another, because it is not challenging.
Now.. After only two years of living together you face the challenge, and what you both did is to back off and backfire to a life you both suppose to take care of it, instead of finding a solution to continue it and take it to the next level of understanding.
To my experience this will happen when couples get bored and start to scan each other's "hidden personality" deeply, that "hidden personality" are things that should remain "hidden" till that person dies
Live the man alone in his shell, what do you want and expecting to find inside there..? It's nothing but pile of crap and ghosts, believe me we all carry those sh!t more or less, and we all are sensitive and scared to death to expose those that we name it sentimentally "private secrets", hell yeah? the weigh and smell of those secrets going to kill us not our age!
Perhaps deep inside you guys never loved each other at first place, perhaps you needed him and he needed you to resolve some very personal and private matters at earlier stage, now matters are gone and you both are awake and say.. who the hell are you..??.
No one knows but you two, I am not in the position to say what is good and what is bad or what should be done, you two know much better than anyone else to what to do, if you both allow yourselves to be fair and responsible to each other and see things in a new and different light and mature way of thinking.
When a dog barfing at you, you barfing back..?? or when life kicking at you, you kick back..??
Instead of taking control of your surrounding, try to understand it, you can only control yourself?. So get on with it....right now? today..!
Your welcome callmemsram, I appreciate your complement.
You want to recover from scorpio bad sting? No way. We aim to demolish. No question of recovering. We only give bad sting when pushed too far. Our friendly loving stings are black magic. You wouldn't want to recover from them. Not in this lifetime.
Qbone~ you have great advice, thank you! I enjoy reading your comments.
Once again Aprilbaby, I love your spirit!!!! You make me chuckle lol.....You are right. Need to take time to with the grammer and spelling....I am guilty of it......
Ladydane, I was on this same discussion with Libralady in another thread on the scorpio site. Qbone, Is right. Also Qbone has knowledge and knows what its all about. You really have to read into what he is expressing. Sit at the edge of your chair, and look at it from another point of view because relationships are must deeper than an average person wants to admit. This is why in these times they don't last. Even though it all seems so negative, really the positive will prevail if you learn more about you and your feeling and not base them on someone else's reactions. EXAMPLE: My ex-hubby is an Aquar. When we met, it was an instant attraction. Married 8 months after we met. We both are have a lot of the same qualities. Neither of us like routine, nor do we like being up in each other face 24/7. (SPACE was not a problem for neither of us) He allowed me to take charge of whatever is was for us to move forward with our goals. I handled just about everything in the relationship. If he ran across a problem that he had created, I was there for his rescue. He depended on me for everything, yet he was a skilled hard working man. I put things in order for him. When there was an argument or disagreement, he would always let me win so that we could get pass it. If it was he would was wrong and it had an effect on him, I assure you, he wouldn't do it again. We have two beautiful daughters, I beautiful home, he has his own plumbing business thanks to me and we are divorced. Why because he becamed settled. I then became frustrated and the fun stopped. He is where he wants to be. We divorced because I realized that if this is whats going to make this man happy. I realize we missed the point before the I do's. We just got through to the hard part. We both was willing to let the marriage go, then fight for the marriage. Divorced for a year, would have been married this month for nine years. We are the best of friends, no hard feelings because we didn't break up because of hard or hurt feelings. He has the house, and I have the kids. He is in the country and I am in the city. My apartment is more than the mortgage, yet he pays both. This marriage would have lasted, if we knew how to love each other when the time came to get down and dirty. Neither one of us wanted to face that. I hope you can now understand what Qbone is trying to say. It just doesnt matter if you can't love someone from either side. We all tend to expect, the latter shouldn't come first. That's someone showing you their real A#ss..
Okay, the very first thing he told me on the very first night was that he wanted me to wait until he was financially stable. No problem. The next thing I got hit with was "I don't want any pressure to do anything I'm not ready for." That was when the testing started.
I think about it now, red flags went up all over the place.
Did I ever give it all in? Pretty close. He is the perfect gentlemen, and that's about all. All the emotional giving has come from me.
I'm going to sit tight for a while; I have a house and two kids to take care of.
Qbone, we are not living together; we have separate residences, but they are only about 300 feet from each other. Stubborn? I suppose, but no more than he is.
I know what is inside this man. Known it all along, but he has never trusted me enough to let me in. I also know that I am exactly what he wants, but I could not convince him enough. Did he get bored with me? Probably, because I was always there.
I think about it now, red flags went up all over the place.
Did I ever give it all in? Pretty close. He is the perfect gentlemen, and that's about all. All the emotional giving has come from me.
I'm going to sit tight for a while; I have a house and two kids to take care of.
Qbone, we are not living together; we have separate residences, but they are only about 300 feet from each other. Stubborn? I suppose, but no more than he is.
I know what is inside this man. Known it all along, but he has never trusted me enough to let me in. I also know that I am exactly what he wants, but I could not convince him enough. Did he get bored with me? Probably, because I was always there.
So what ya saying,hehe me bad I know.I agree w/ aprilbaby,callmemsram you've been wasting alot of energy on this guy and hasn't seemed to change anything,well you already know I think he's an immature scorpio from another thread.I was only 15 when I figured out the control and black and white to relationships caused more problems then it solved.I just don't like to think that all the guy scorpios are a $ $ holes because I know a couple that aren't=reason I get b-tchy sometimes,with some of these posts they seem as though they are just common mistakes that with other signs its not an issue at all.
callmemsram
Thank you for interpreting my points correctly?... appreciate it..
Thank you for interpreting my points correctly?... appreciate it..
I am sorry about my grammar and spelling? this happen when my head scattered in 1000 other places and at the same time wanted to focus on many different subjects.
Lady Dane
Do you remember in the past in Misc. board you asked me: Do you surrender..??
Now it is my turn to questioning you.. DO YOU..??
Matter is, there is something with this guy that attracted you sometimes ago, and he is still the same guy..! It is just circumstances blind folded you both, and the sense of individuality and pride won't allow you guys to see the real thing in between, it is the life's most disgusting tricks in every personal relationship.
See? he has his life style and you have yours and this life style get deeper and deeper in each days passing by, he is Cancerian; which means he is deeply attached to his life style and no force in this world can detach him from it, he is also in love with a tough Cherokee lady in same situation but this lady has a harder shell and she also comes with attacking skills.
Emotionally secure is all about, whether is Cancer or Virgo or Scorpion or whatever sign is, we all need this security to feel that there is something "out there" worth to fight and waiting for, you could be the toughest Cherokee lady in this world or even Amazon lady! It doesn?t matter when the need of love, being in love and hell? to be loved and to be wanted is around, we need it on everyday basis or life is not worth living, and this man "whoever he is now in your mind and heart" awakening these special feelings in you couple of years earlier, you can not deny it?. !
My question is: why, wise lady like you allowing these extra ordinary feelings dodging to this state of hate and soon to be "indifferent"..??
By stating this: "because I was always there."! You may feel that you've sold yourself cheaply by being available, but actually you didn?t, it proving that you have no fear and you are stable as rock, he needs more time to realise this, that?s all. "unless he is way younger than you are".
All of us are born to be either "giver" or "receiver" and to be appreciated "in whatever form" is our "reward", only ignorant/arrogant developing the sense of being both "giver and receiver" and do nothing without expectations?!
All I wanted to say is, both of you got your own separate life/space and happy with it, only a firm commitments between you two seems to be a problem, leave this issue alone and let time and destiny deciding what will be the outcome of this, live your life and do whatever you wish to, just don?t betray yourself and your feelings "if you wanted to revenge this guy", and do not allow hate and stubbornness growing in between you two by being needy, clingy and pushy etc?!
Of course..! If you still love him and want him.. if not, it's another issue..!!
Lady Dane
Do you remember in the past in Misc. board you asked me: Do you surrender..??
Now it is my turn to questioning you.. DO YOU..??
Matter is, there is something with this guy that attracted you sometimes ago, and he is still the same guy..! It is just circumstances blind folded you both, and the sense of individuality and pride won't allow you guys to see the real thing in between, it is the life's most disgusting tricks in every personal relationship.
See? he has his life style and you have yours and this life style get deeper and deeper in each days passing by, he is Cancerian; which means he is deeply attached to his life style and no force in this world can detach him from it, he is also in love with a tough Cherokee lady in same situation but this lady has a harder shell and she also comes with attacking skills.
Emotionally secure is all about, whether is Cancer or Virgo or Scorpion or whatever sign is, we all need this security to feel that there is something "out there" worth to fight and waiting for, you could be the toughest Cherokee lady in this world or even Amazon lady! It doesn?t matter when the need of love, being in love and hell? to be loved and to be wanted is around, we need it on everyday basis or life is not worth living, and this man "whoever he is now in your mind and heart" awakening these special feelings in you couple of years earlier, you can not deny it?. !
My question is: why, wise lady like you allowing these extra ordinary feelings dodging to this state of hate and soon to be "indifferent"..??
By stating this: "because I was always there."! You may feel that you've sold yourself cheaply by being available, but actually you didn?t, it proving that you have no fear and you are stable as rock, he needs more time to realise this, that?s all. "unless he is way younger than you are".
All of us are born to be either "giver" or "receiver" and to be appreciated "in whatever form" is our "reward", only ignorant/arrogant developing the sense of being both "giver and receiver" and do nothing without expectations?!
All I wanted to say is, both of you got your own separate life/space and happy with it, only a firm commitments between you two seems to be a problem, leave this issue alone and let time and destiny deciding what will be the outcome of this, live your life and do whatever you wish to, just don?t betray yourself and your feelings "if you wanted to revenge this guy", and do not allow hate and stubbornness growing in between you two by being needy, clingy and pushy etc?!
Of course..! If you still love him and want him.. if not, it's another issue..!!
I am 47, he is 37.
Qbone, I love you....and I'm crying. And typing this (even as I'm typing it) seems so stupid.
You really hit me here. I have repeatedly told him if we didn't give in to this, we would blow it. I suppose the question is, who bends first.
We've both been trying to get inside each other all along, yet both denying that it's a game. The stakes are so high, or so we believe. Having both been burned several times, you would think we would recognize the need and the emotional stability that is inherent in both of us. But....he has issues with women. His mother stole from him, lied to him, and never gave him anything to lean on. His dad is an alcoholic musician with a prison record. I on the other hand, had a pretty good upbringing, plenty of love and trust and security. I chose to try to repair his past and give him something he's never had. He has fought it all the way. I was recently divorced, yet bound and determined to get over it and get on with my life. Maybe I threw more at him than he could handle. Frankly, I wanted to change his life.
I should have let him do this on his own.
Thanks for being there.
Qbone, I love you....and I'm crying. And typing this (even as I'm typing it) seems so stupid.
You really hit me here. I have repeatedly told him if we didn't give in to this, we would blow it. I suppose the question is, who bends first.
We've both been trying to get inside each other all along, yet both denying that it's a game. The stakes are so high, or so we believe. Having both been burned several times, you would think we would recognize the need and the emotional stability that is inherent in both of us. But....he has issues with women. His mother stole from him, lied to him, and never gave him anything to lean on. His dad is an alcoholic musician with a prison record. I on the other hand, had a pretty good upbringing, plenty of love and trust and security. I chose to try to repair his past and give him something he's never had. He has fought it all the way. I was recently divorced, yet bound and determined to get over it and get on with my life. Maybe I threw more at him than he could handle. Frankly, I wanted to change his life.
I should have let him do this on his own.
Thanks for being there.
Could I surrender? He's probably wondering the same thing.
So I'm afraid of being broken; so is he.
But at my age, I realize that I do not want to be alone the rest of my life, so I'm willing to compromise or give in to an extent. ....The stage is set, but the actors and actresses have to be real people, and quit acting.
Maybe I've got it. Time will tell.
Damn, this is hard.
So I'm afraid of being broken; so is he.
But at my age, I realize that I do not want to be alone the rest of my life, so I'm willing to compromise or give in to an extent. ....The stage is set, but the actors and actresses have to be real people, and quit acting.
Maybe I've got it. Time will tell.
Damn, this is hard.
Cry your heart out ladydane and I share those tears with you too, best medicine for the soar hearts?!
Don?t ever be sorry for what you did in your private relationship, such as life when it shows its ugly faces at this point I have nothing to offer you but a shoulder to cry on?.
Be patience and heal yourself lady and let him be in what ever he is dealing with, he has his own wounds and soar heart too, its just a shame that you two could not share the same level of honesty with each other? however, don?t be hasty in your decisions there are lot of UPS and DOWNS in life that we are not aware of and we might do something that we can get truly regret it later..!
Be patience and heal yourself??. Have a faith that things may change in your favour? you'll never know..!
Wish you better days lady?.!
Don?t ever be sorry for what you did in your private relationship, such as life when it shows its ugly faces at this point I have nothing to offer you but a shoulder to cry on?.
Be patience and heal yourself lady and let him be in what ever he is dealing with, he has his own wounds and soar heart too, its just a shame that you two could not share the same level of honesty with each other? however, don?t be hasty in your decisions there are lot of UPS and DOWNS in life that we are not aware of and we might do something that we can get truly regret it later..!
Be patience and heal yourself??. Have a faith that things may change in your favour? you'll never know..!
Wish you better days lady?.!
Yeah... you've did surrender at some point as you've explained briefly about his past, you did something against odds and you took the chance to build him up?50/50.
I am not criticizing you and never questioning your honesty, you did what you could and that?s it.
Your age..?? what about your age lady..? it is not the age that decide what to do, it is spirit!, and as long as your spirit is high and you keep it young and fresh!
Never worry about the age?! There are honest people out there that never think about age or appearance or what ever?! Keep your minds sharp and your spirit high, it is spirit that makes us attractive not our look or age, spirit's conditions that makes us beautiful or ugly..!
Don?t let circumstances affecting your spirit, it is only circumstances and it is temporary and they'll go as fast as they come in to our lives, what you need is to recognise their present and avoid their poison, the rest is easy to cope with..
And yeah?. Its damn hard, but guess what.. you are not alone with it?!
I am not criticizing you and never questioning your honesty, you did what you could and that?s it.
Your age..?? what about your age lady..? it is not the age that decide what to do, it is spirit!, and as long as your spirit is high and you keep it young and fresh!
Never worry about the age?! There are honest people out there that never think about age or appearance or what ever?! Keep your minds sharp and your spirit high, it is spirit that makes us attractive not our look or age, spirit's conditions that makes us beautiful or ugly..!
Don?t let circumstances affecting your spirit, it is only circumstances and it is temporary and they'll go as fast as they come in to our lives, what you need is to recognise their present and avoid their poison, the rest is easy to cope with..
And yeah?. Its damn hard, but guess what.. you are not alone with it?!
I am considering myself as a thick- skinned Cherokee chief in human to human relationship but I have to admit it that I had a couple of issues that truly knocked me off, not for weeks and months but for couple of years!
This is unfair??
But later on I've learned that, that is the way it is and I can not fight against something that I have no power to control its vibrations and frequencies, so I'd better understand the nature of this "unfortunate happenings" and try to avoid it at all cost "because when it comes, it comes in a big family size", I guess you have the same issue lady, you?ve been unfortunate..! Do not fight and do not question, learn to dodge from their poisonous arrows in the best way you can, keep your integrity and sanity intact and your spirit high.
This is unfair??
But later on I've learned that, that is the way it is and I can not fight against something that I have no power to control its vibrations and frequencies, so I'd better understand the nature of this "unfortunate happenings" and try to avoid it at all cost "because when it comes, it comes in a big family size", I guess you have the same issue lady, you?ve been unfortunate..! Do not fight and do not question, learn to dodge from their poisonous arrows in the best way you can, keep your integrity and sanity intact and your spirit high.
Tiamat, I am sorry that you may believe that I am wasting my energy. If this was the case, I would have burned up a long time ago......
Qbone, you are awsome!!!!!!! Ladydane, I am 41 and my scorpio is 32. My ex hubby is 10 years younger than myself. I feel your pain as well, but you are going to be alright. You are just reaching a point of your life, where we all have to examine past and present relationships, before we can move forward towards future relationship. No body wants to grow older with out having that someone. Your guy is presenting himself as well as acting the same as my Scorpio. Quote for quote as to what you have said that he stated, appears to be the same recording in my situation. Its not that I am fighting for this relationship to happen nor do I want him to change. I must reconize my own strenghts that may hinder my relationships but yet I am one of the most loving and caring individuals that you can meet. I also have this tremdous stubborn streak as well and when heated, I really can blow. My thing is, why is it ok to act irrational at times, and when its done towards me, its not ok. Qbone is again so right as we both have to deal with our won emotional struggle. Qbone, has confirmed that its not the energy that we are wasting here, its the strength of our spirits that keep us a live and helps us understand the process. It true, you are not alone in this!!! So erase the word stupid from your thoughts ok.....Just be true to all that you are feeling, whether is good or bad.....
I knew when I hit upon this message board, it was a good thing.
So many good points here, so much to take in, but I have to be true to myself, regardless of my feelings.
At some point I'm going to see him; we are geographically too close not to.
Right now I'm avoiding him because I'm not in the right frame of mind, and I know it. I look straight ahead when he drives by.
His sister's family bought a swimming pool and I've supposedly been invited to go to the grand opening. I'm debating.
This second job is good for me. It's non-stop work; I don't have time to think about anything. My brain can actually shut down for about six hours.
So many good points here, so much to take in, but I have to be true to myself, regardless of my feelings.
At some point I'm going to see him; we are geographically too close not to.
Right now I'm avoiding him because I'm not in the right frame of mind, and I know it. I look straight ahead when he drives by.
His sister's family bought a swimming pool and I've supposedly been invited to go to the grand opening. I'm debating.
This second job is good for me. It's non-stop work; I don't have time to think about anything. My brain can actually shut down for about six hours.
Well, you are doing really good Ladydane. But I must ask you this? Why are you avoiding him? What could he possible do to you? Are you playing or are you serious? Remember," fear causes errors". I hope you are not making a mistake. Not with what you think he is feeling or how he may react, but trust your feelings to let go if thats what your heart is telling you to do. Please find your purpose in all of this. All of your actions, my be just that. He will not pay it any mind. Only because, he knows you and he knows you are trying to figure him out. If you want to put all your cards on the table, I suggest you let him make the next move. If you don't care, then continue...When or how can you get in the right frame of mind? when errors seem to be on the horizon. Please be careful..Its your heart not his..........
The next move is his, if he ever makes it. Fact is, he's much more scared of me than I could ever be of him. There were times when I would go to his house on impulse, and take him down. He never questioned my initiative; just that it was never reciprocated. But as soon as I would mention in the slightest any of my wants and desires, he balked.
Point is, I was not getting back what I was putting into it.
Impression is, I could have been any woman; it wouldn't have made any difference.
He has told me on several occasions that if he didn't care about me, if I wasn't the woman for him, he wouldn't be here. But within the statements is the clear message "it has to be on my terms".
I have told him that I could be and do anything he wants, and still be true to myself. But this is a paradox as he never tells me what he wants. I am supposed to figure this out without his input. He leaves me alone to be myself, and as soon as I act like my true self, he backs off. This is where I feel like I'm being played with.
All I have asked of him is to meet me in the middle. I've come to the conclusion that he cannot do this. But I realize that I'm a lot to take in sometimes.
So I'm avoiding him; or rather, I will make no moves toward him. He has to want me for who and what I am. I realize if I take him for what he is (if he's really being himself, and I doubt it) I will end up doing it all.
This is not fear. If you want to call it strategy, fine. I am a risk-taker, and I have lost before. This is not the first time. But this man has got to be able to trust somebody. I can't do any more without losing myself in the process.
I have to ask a question; is there such a thing as a man getting burned out on sex?
Crazy, huh. But I have to ask.
Point is, I was not getting back what I was putting into it.
Impression is, I could have been any woman; it wouldn't have made any difference.
He has told me on several occasions that if he didn't care about me, if I wasn't the woman for him, he wouldn't be here. But within the statements is the clear message "it has to be on my terms".
I have told him that I could be and do anything he wants, and still be true to myself. But this is a paradox as he never tells me what he wants. I am supposed to figure this out without his input. He leaves me alone to be myself, and as soon as I act like my true self, he backs off. This is where I feel like I'm being played with.
All I have asked of him is to meet me in the middle. I've come to the conclusion that he cannot do this. But I realize that I'm a lot to take in sometimes.
So I'm avoiding him; or rather, I will make no moves toward him. He has to want me for who and what I am. I realize if I take him for what he is (if he's really being himself, and I doubt it) I will end up doing it all.
This is not fear. If you want to call it strategy, fine. I am a risk-taker, and I have lost before. This is not the first time. But this man has got to be able to trust somebody. I can't do any more without losing myself in the process.
I have to ask a question; is there such a thing as a man getting burned out on sex?
Crazy, huh. But I have to ask.
Ladydane, I really like the way you are handling yourself. You are being true to your feelings as well. This is a plus for you. When all is said and done, you will either gain the love of your heart, or walk away from this relationship knowing what love is all about as well knowing how to receive it. Stick to your guns, I admire you for that. Its not about him and you are showing that, yet you are learning the process. It takes a very strong woman to understand. Its not about losing, and thats what some are afraid of. Yet some never win because of the fear. Don't allow the fear to stop you from loving or caring. If he is not abusing you in someway, go for it. Some us of don't realize, that we have to get through our own emotional triangles in becoming emotional balance. It appears that you are willing to take the chance to find out. Good for you. He may not be the one, but he may be the one that may give you the chance to learn how more about who you are and where you are going in your future relationships. Once you get through this, you will not go into another relationship like this again. You will then have skills....lol...Be good....
Ladydane, check out the Aries board thread: Happiness or egotistical...You may find out that you are not alone. Thought it would interest you. Enjoy..
Lady dane...
Hope for the best but do prepare for the worst. To quote Oliver Cromwell, "Put your faith in God - but keep your powder dry."
After all these opinion of mine BS.... shared sensuous life is ultimately about " secured continuity" rather than blind passion, we all want to enjoy pleasure, seriousness, happiness, and adventure that comes from the shared life.
I am not surprised when you questioning this:
"I have to ask a question; is there such a thing as a man getting burned out on sex?
Crazy, huh. But I have to ask."
When mind is not ready to accept the consequences of shared life (bad or good), things like physical sex become obsolete and boring?. Fast?. Especially when we base our life upon physical pleasure, reminding you that, physical pleasures are NOT the reward of the co-operations in love relationship, if this is the case then people use this as an advantage for their superiority to control the others? and in many cases relationship will end?. painfully.
Sense of purpose is the main problem in relationship, why am I here?, what if..? Am I here to serve someone else's pleasure? Or what am I doing to myself? and internal questions like this makes us moving further to find the answers and consequently leap faster than our partner and if he/she is unaware of our private and personal "internal changes"?. this alone, will make "fog of doubts" and produce "paranoia" in him/her mind. After this, it is very simple to calculate the results of this kind of relationship..!
Anyways?.! Things that are not suppose to happen, already happened..! Done is done, but let the past stay as past ladydane.. tell you what..! "I am not sure you or anyone else will ever understand this", but try it.. open a bottle of wine and toast to your happiness and one toast to your ex partner happiness, and let things stays as PAST and don?t cling to it as a kind of "hope he will return"!, you have your OWN life in front of you with "unforeseen" adventures in every corner of it, but if you want to enjoy it you MUST force yourself to accept the challenge of the future by "let it go" or else you'll stay behind?! Please do remember what I've said once in Misc. Board, it?s a life lesson if you ever understand it, "you didn?t get it at that time" lets see if you "do" this time.
"All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningful in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense".
This is a magical sentence, who ever deny its power soon or later will experience a situation that force him/her to believe in it?? Profoundly!?always??!
In our lives, everything is illusion?. And as a human you will have ONLY two choices "deny the illusion or accept it and follow it".
Both choices have their own consequences and changing you inside out for the rest of your life for better or for worst.
I am not going to debate or lecture you about philosophical view of life, just reminding you things will change, bad become good and good become bad.. constantly, one must be totally crazy if ever polluting his/her heart and mind with this ever changing situations that lies beyond of our power.
LIFE MUST BE UNDRERSTOOD, NOT TO BE CONTROLLED?!
If you get this, you will never ever suffer again, not even a second..! save the innocence of your spirit.. the rest is everlasting "ebb and flow"?!
And you haven?t heard this from me?. All lies inside your head and heart, you just need a kick to bring it out?
🙂
Hope for the best but do prepare for the worst. To quote Oliver Cromwell, "Put your faith in God - but keep your powder dry."
After all these opinion of mine BS.... shared sensuous life is ultimately about " secured continuity" rather than blind passion, we all want to enjoy pleasure, seriousness, happiness, and adventure that comes from the shared life.
I am not surprised when you questioning this:
"I have to ask a question; is there such a thing as a man getting burned out on sex?
Crazy, huh. But I have to ask."
When mind is not ready to accept the consequences of shared life (bad or good), things like physical sex become obsolete and boring?. Fast?. Especially when we base our life upon physical pleasure, reminding you that, physical pleasures are NOT the reward of the co-operations in love relationship, if this is the case then people use this as an advantage for their superiority to control the others? and in many cases relationship will end?. painfully.
Sense of purpose is the main problem in relationship, why am I here?, what if..? Am I here to serve someone else's pleasure? Or what am I doing to myself? and internal questions like this makes us moving further to find the answers and consequently leap faster than our partner and if he/she is unaware of our private and personal "internal changes"?. this alone, will make "fog of doubts" and produce "paranoia" in him/her mind. After this, it is very simple to calculate the results of this kind of relationship..!
Anyways?.! Things that are not suppose to happen, already happened..! Done is done, but let the past stay as past ladydane.. tell you what..! "I am not sure you or anyone else will ever understand this", but try it.. open a bottle of wine and toast to your happiness and one toast to your ex partner happiness, and let things stays as PAST and don?t cling to it as a kind of "hope he will return"!, you have your OWN life in front of you with "unforeseen" adventures in every corner of it, but if you want to enjoy it you MUST force yourself to accept the challenge of the future by "let it go" or else you'll stay behind?! Please do remember what I've said once in Misc. Board, it?s a life lesson if you ever understand it, "you didn?t get it at that time" lets see if you "do" this time.
"All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningful in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense".
This is a magical sentence, who ever deny its power soon or later will experience a situation that force him/her to believe in it?? Profoundly!?always??!
In our lives, everything is illusion?. And as a human you will have ONLY two choices "deny the illusion or accept it and follow it".
Both choices have their own consequences and changing you inside out for the rest of your life for better or for worst.
I am not going to debate or lecture you about philosophical view of life, just reminding you things will change, bad become good and good become bad.. constantly, one must be totally crazy if ever polluting his/her heart and mind with this ever changing situations that lies beyond of our power.
LIFE MUST BE UNDRERSTOOD, NOT TO BE CONTROLLED?!
If you get this, you will never ever suffer again, not even a second..! save the innocence of your spirit.. the rest is everlasting "ebb and flow"?!
And you haven?t heard this from me?. All lies inside your head and heart, you just need a kick to bring it out?
🙂
was that BS of mine helpfull..??
Qbone, you or anyone else can call it what you want? You are the realist male/man that I have had the change to converse with. I was always told, there will be many males that you will meet in one's life time.Yet you will only come across a real man if you still have a hand to count on. Keep it flowing, you have my respect. Intellectually of course.......
Yeah callmemsram
This realistic vision of mine... comes with a huge cost..! I suffer a huge sadness every second? and every time I get in to this mood?. It makes my soul CRY like hell, because I'd never understood "fully" why this happen to human being "especially to whom that are HONEST with themselves".
I hate dishonesty/betrayal and gamers, and yet? everyday I have to deal with that one way or another.
My feeling gets hurt? really... Whether its mine or another friend's affair.
I hope that my "realistic vision" does not hurt anybody's feeling?.I really do? I just wanted to share what I know (by experience) to anyone that can hear.
This realistic vision of mine... comes with a huge cost..! I suffer a huge sadness every second? and every time I get in to this mood?. It makes my soul CRY like hell, because I'd never understood "fully" why this happen to human being "especially to whom that are HONEST with themselves".
I hate dishonesty/betrayal and gamers, and yet? everyday I have to deal with that one way or another.
My feeling gets hurt? really... Whether its mine or another friend's affair.
I hope that my "realistic vision" does not hurt anybody's feeling?.I really do? I just wanted to share what I know (by experience) to anyone that can hear.
It's getting easier.
Thanks Qbone...but you may have to kick me in the pants a couple more times before this sinks in.
I can move on, even if it means compartmentalizing my feelings until enough time passes to emotionally deal with it.
My grandmother says get out in the public. I see the rationale here.
I told him once; I plan my life and live my life with every intention of having someone to share it with. He plans his life and lives his life with every intention of having only himself in it. He did not disagree with this. This man has fears that are beyond my ability to repair, or in some cases, understand.
I have to get past the point that there could have been something I could have done. The one thing I did wrong was that I jumped the gun too soon, but looking back, it would not have mattered at what time I jumped the gun. It had to be on his terms.
I'll do your toast, to myself, to him, to the others I love, to the good influences in my life as well as the bad, to past, present, and future, and to the hope that one day, someone will walk into my life who can meet me on that level, and not be afraid of it. In the meantime, I can be of service to others, as well as myself.
If I fall from this, somebody remind me.
Thanks Qbone...but you may have to kick me in the pants a couple more times before this sinks in.
I can move on, even if it means compartmentalizing my feelings until enough time passes to emotionally deal with it.
My grandmother says get out in the public. I see the rationale here.
I told him once; I plan my life and live my life with every intention of having someone to share it with. He plans his life and lives his life with every intention of having only himself in it. He did not disagree with this. This man has fears that are beyond my ability to repair, or in some cases, understand.
I have to get past the point that there could have been something I could have done. The one thing I did wrong was that I jumped the gun too soon, but looking back, it would not have mattered at what time I jumped the gun. It had to be on his terms.
I'll do your toast, to myself, to him, to the others I love, to the good influences in my life as well as the bad, to past, present, and future, and to the hope that one day, someone will walk into my life who can meet me on that level, and not be afraid of it. In the meantime, I can be of service to others, as well as myself.
If I fall from this, somebody remind me.
I'll do care about.. ladydane... no matter what..... keep your beautiful spirit UP?its all we've got.. need to be realised first?🙂
Kick ONE lady....
I... we? love you anyway.... share it with US..! Show it all.. At the end you get this scary Qbone anyway? what do you going lose..??
I... we? love you anyway.... share it with US..! Show it all.. At the end you get this scary Qbone anyway? what do you going lose..??
What I have gained from here is...inspirational.
My daughter and a few friends cleaned up my house this week on the condition that I take them to the Olive Garden for supper tonight. Girls night out, with teenagers. God help me.
A copy of Desiderata hangs in my bathroom. I'll just keep reading it.
My daughter and a few friends cleaned up my house this week on the condition that I take them to the Olive Garden for supper tonight. Girls night out, with teenagers. God help me.
A copy of Desiderata hangs in my bathroom. I'll just keep reading it.
Coolness
I love teens and their never ending energies.....send them over here ..my home also need re-constructions lady... hehe
I'll promises an unforgettable weekend as reward?!
😉
I love teens and their never ending energies.....send them over here ..my home also need re-constructions lady... hehe
I'll promises an unforgettable weekend as reward?!
😉
These girls were up all night cleaning out my daughter's closet. There are bags of trash all over the living room floor. Supper was funny. The waiter was the hit of the evening. I love a good waiter.
One of the girls is a niece of my guy. Found out that he misses me, thinks I'm mad at him, and talks about the things we used to do all the time. I told her to tell him that I miss him too, but I don't know what to do about it. I left it at that.
My ex has the kids for the weekend, so I will be by myself. I am working Saturday and Sunday so I have something to do.
I need my backbone. I know it's here somewhere. I'll pick up that bottle of wine after work today.
One of the girls is a niece of my guy. Found out that he misses me, thinks I'm mad at him, and talks about the things we used to do all the time. I told her to tell him that I miss him too, but I don't know what to do about it. I left it at that.
My ex has the kids for the weekend, so I will be by myself. I am working Saturday and Sunday so I have something to do.
I need my backbone. I know it's here somewhere. I'll pick up that bottle of wine after work today.
Ya'll are not going to believe this.
I called him at work today. Just to see what kind of response I would get.
Let me preface this by saying a lot of the things I told him before I had put in a letter because I know he hates confrontations.
He never got the letter. Apparently someone had pulled it from his mailbox. This kind of theft happens every now and then where we live.
From his perspective, all this has been nothing but the silent treatment from me. He has thought all this time that he had lost me. All the things he said that Sunday night four weeks ago stemmed from that point alone. He thought I was fixing to leave him, so he thought I had just used him for a while.
From the sound of his voice over the phone around noon until about 9:00 last night, he has been the most attentive, caring, passionate man since the beginning. He literally blew me away, and I let him.
Up to this point it's all been 'you don't know me; you don't know what I think'. Now it's 'maybe we don't know each other well enough, we need to work on this'.
I broke the silence, and I found out why he said the things he said. He found out that I'm somewhat of a challenge, and that I was not using him. Some things were hashed out last night and some understandings were made.
Where we go from here is anybody's guess, but I'll still drink a toast to him. He definitely does not want to give up. That came through loud and clear.
Talk about a turnaround.
I called him at work today. Just to see what kind of response I would get.
Let me preface this by saying a lot of the things I told him before I had put in a letter because I know he hates confrontations.
He never got the letter. Apparently someone had pulled it from his mailbox. This kind of theft happens every now and then where we live.
From his perspective, all this has been nothing but the silent treatment from me. He has thought all this time that he had lost me. All the things he said that Sunday night four weeks ago stemmed from that point alone. He thought I was fixing to leave him, so he thought I had just used him for a while.
From the sound of his voice over the phone around noon until about 9:00 last night, he has been the most attentive, caring, passionate man since the beginning. He literally blew me away, and I let him.
Up to this point it's all been 'you don't know me; you don't know what I think'. Now it's 'maybe we don't know each other well enough, we need to work on this'.
I broke the silence, and I found out why he said the things he said. He found out that I'm somewhat of a challenge, and that I was not using him. Some things were hashed out last night and some understandings were made.
Where we go from here is anybody's guess, but I'll still drink a toast to him. He definitely does not want to give up. That came through loud and clear.
Talk about a turnaround.
Ladydane this post is sunshine. Each word refelcts the glow on your face. I am so happy for you. Hope this leads to what you wish for. Scorpio and cancer is a fantastic pairing especially so if the male is cancer and female a scorpio. Personal experience😉
Thumbs Up to you Lady
Thumbs Up to you Lady
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