Shaun
@Shaun1994
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 252 · Topics: 31
Scorpio and Love: Oh My Heart
Ignore him and go play Pokemon Go.
Posted by Shaun1994
Okay. So, the man who love is 19 right now and a Scorpio. We formed an extremelly strong friendship and I fell for him, not allowing myself to love until I had proof. And then I did--he was on the top of my Facebook chat list and I never spoke to him on Facebook or checked his profile a lot. That means he checked out my profile a lot.
However, he does not tell me how he feels, and I believe it is because he is not ready to come out of the closet yet. But we are getting much closer every time we see eachother in a subtle, intuitive, and unspoken way. And I sense how he feels (intuitive) they are.
Scorpio men don't tell women they love them (mature scorpios) unless they mean it ..... and please believe you have to be someone they have truly fallen for ........... seems like your still at a very early phase with scorpio ..... if he loves you he will show it through actions ... he doesn't have to verbally say he loves you ... although they will when they truly do ....... also he sense your fear and worry ... ya need to have a little more confidence in yourself ...
I love him, so I'm royally emotionally fucked if he doesn't. However, things are looking up.
emotionally*. Not tree trucked
Posted by EllycakesI'm with Elly, it's got enormous potential to crash and burn to become involved with someone who is still in the closet.
if he isn't talking to you about how he feels he either A) Does not have romantic feelings for you, be it because he straight or just doesn't see you romantically or B) He's not comfortable with himself and isn't capable of returning affection and intimacy openly.
Don't date straight men. Or men still in the closet when you aren't. There are never long term benefits to either.
Posted by ReincarnationYar, OP said his crush was dragging his feet maybe because he hasn't come out and I'm like....can't force that, and you shouldn't put yourself on hold for it.Posted by GenniePosted by EllycakesI'm with Elly, it's got enormous potential to crash and burn to become involved with someone who is still in the closet.
if he isn't talking to you about how he feels he either A) Does not have romantic feelings for you, be it because he straight or just doesn't see you romantically or B) He's not comfortable with himself and isn't capable of returning affection and intimacy openly.
Don't date straight men. Or men still in the closet when you aren't. There are never long term benefits to either.
Oh - it's a dude?
Didn't read all of OP.click to expand
Posted by ReincarnationPlutonian. Cancer Sun & Asc, Gemini Moon, Mars & Mercury, Scorpio Jup & Pluto, Uranus Neptune in Capricorn and Saturn in Pisces. Pluto corresponds with most of my planets.Posted by Shaun1994
I love him, so I'm royally emotionally fucked if he doesn't. However, things are looking up.
What's your sign?click to expand
Posted by GennieOh, it's too late for that. I'm head over heels, car without brakes, and stupidly in love with him. I've even tried to get him out of my head. I simply can't.Posted by ReincarnationYar, OP said his crush was dragging his feet maybe because he hasn't come out and I'm like....can't force that, and you shouldn't put yourself on hold for it.Posted by GenniePosted by EllycakesI'm with Elly, it's got enormous potential to crash and burn to become involved with someone who is still in the closet.
if he isn't talking to you about how he feels he either A) Does not have romantic feelings for you, be it because he straight or just doesn't see you romantically or B) He's not comfortable with himself and isn't capable of returning affection and intimacy openly.
Don't date straight men. Or men still in the closet when you aren't. There are never long term benefits to either.
Oh - it's a dude?
Didn't read all of OP.click to expand
Posted by Shaun1994Oh and my Venus is LeoPosted by ReincarnationPlutonian. Cancer Sun & Asc, Gemini Moon, Mars & Mercury, Scorpio Jup & Pluto, Uranus Neptune in Capricorn and Saturn in Pisces. Pluto corresponds with most of my planets.Posted by Shaun1994
I love him, so I'm royally emotionally fucked if he doesn't. However, things are looking up.
What's your sign?click to expand
Cancer Alert!
You can't live your life in anticipation of a nebulous event, at least, not if you want a fulfilling and happy one.
You can't live your life in anticipation of a nebulous event, at least, not if you want a fulfilling and happy one.
Posted by GennieI agree with you. I told him I was in love wth him two days ago and that I would die for him. He said he was straight. So, if he is lying and still in the closet, that means he is willing to hurt me to protect himself from something that shouldn't be protected--which means I am done with him. And, if it is the truth, well, I'm still heartbroken.
Cancer Alert!
You can't live your life in anticipation of a nebulous event, at least, not if you want a fulfilling and happy one.
I still see him looking at me and he is very...nice to me. Ughhhh
ah man lol I cant believe I read all this....haha good luck Shaun 1994...that was crazy
Posted by Shaun1994Posted by GennieI agree with you. I told him I was in love wth him two days ago and that I would die for him. He said he was straight. So, if he is lying and still in the closet, that means he is willing to hurt me to protect himself from something that shouldn't be protected--which means I am done with him. And, if it is the truth, well, I'm still heartbroken.
Cancer Alert!
You can't live your life in anticipation of a nebulous event, at least, not if you want a fulfilling and happy one.
I still see him looking at me and he is very...nice to me. Ughhhhclick to expand
Unrequited infatuation sucks, but you know what buttercup? There's plenty of fish out there, one with your name on it, so treasure the good things about your friendship with this guy and go find that fish!
Posted by GenniePosted by Shaun1994Posted by GennieI agree with you. I told him I was in love wth him two days ago and that I would die for him. He said he was straight. So, if he is lying and still in the closet, that means he is willing to hurt me to protect himself from something that shouldn't be protected--which means I am done with him. And, if it is the truth, well, I'm still heartbroken.
Cancer Alert!
You can't live your life in anticipation of a nebulous event, at least, not if you want a fulfilling and happy one.
I still see him looking at me and he is very...nice to me. Ughhhh
Unrequited infatuation sucks, but you know what buttercup? There's plenty of fish out there, one with your name on it, so treasure the good things about your friendship with this guy and go find that fish!click to expand
You just called him buttercup?? Was that sarcasm? I dont think fish is what hes looking for lol 🙂
Posted by 13thI'm glad you enjoyed it 🙂. I'm not sure if it is my intuition or my hopeless hope that is making me think he is still in the closet
ah man lol I cant believe I read all this....haha good luck Shaun 1994...that was crazy
Posted by GennieI can never be friends with him. I feel far too strongly for him. It's too painful. I need him either out of my life or in it fully.Posted by Shaun1994Posted by GennieI agree with you. I told him I was in love wth him two days ago and that I would die for him. He said he was straight. So, if he is lying and still in the closet, that means he is willing to hurt me to protect himself from something that shouldn't be protected--which means I am done with him. And, if it is the truth, well, I'm still heartbroken.
Cancer Alert!
You can't live your life in anticipation of a nebulous event, at least, not if you want a fulfilling and happy one.
I still see him looking at me and he is very...nice to me. Ughhhh
Unrequited infatuation sucks, but you know what buttercup? There's plenty of fish out there, one with your name on it, so treasure the good things about your friendship with this guy and go find that fish!click to expand
But you're right. There will be someone--someone who I fall in love with harder than him. Thank you.
Posted by ImTheRamMy thoughts exactly. Damnit, I just want him to grow out of this.
"Okay. So, the man who love is 19..."
Let me fix that..
"Okay. So, the kid who love is 19..."
Seems like a simple thing...but it changes everything.
Carry on.
Posted by 13thPosted by GenniePosted by Shaun1994Posted by GennieI agree with you. I told him I was in love wth him two days ago and that I would die for him. He said he was straight. So, if he is lying and still in the closet, that means he is willing to hurt me to protect himself from something that shouldn't be protected--which means I am done with him. And, if it is the truth, well, I'm still heartbroken.
Cancer Alert!
You can't live your life in anticipation of a nebulous event, at least, not if you want a fulfilling and happy one.
I still see him looking at me and he is very...nice to me. Ughhhh
Unrequited infatuation sucks, but you know what buttercup? There's plenty of fish out there, one with your name on it, so treasure the good things about your friendship with this guy and go find that fish!
You just called him buttercup?? Was that sarcasm? I dont think fish is what hes looking for lol 🙂
click to expand
My bartender is Sweetie, my younger sib is Kitten, my dog is Furby, but really it's from "Build me up Buttercup"
Posted by 13thHer message was helpful. At least it soothes some pain--pain that will return in mere moments, but it still is a soothing hope in an emotional sea of blood red love.Posted by GenniePosted by Shaun1994Posted by GennieI agree with you. I told him I was in love wth him two days ago and that I would die for him. He said he was straight. So, if he is lying and still in the closet, that means he is willing to hurt me to protect himself from something that shouldn't be protected--which means I am done with him. And, if it is the truth, well, I'm still heartbroken.
Cancer Alert!
You can't live your life in anticipation of a nebulous event, at least, not if you want a fulfilling and happy one.
I still see him looking at me and he is very...nice to me. Ughhhh
Unrequited infatuation sucks, but you know what buttercup? There's plenty of fish out there, one with your name on it, so treasure the good things about your friendship with this guy and go find that fish!
You just called him buttercup?? Was that sarcasm? I dont think fish is what hes looking for lol 🙂
click to expand
Perhaps a fish will swim my way, but I am utterly drawn to scorpions.
Posted by Shaun1994Posted by 13thI'm glad you enjoyed it 🙂. I'm not sure if it is my intuition or my hopeless hope that is making me think he is still in the closet
ah man lol I cant believe I read all this....haha good luck Shaun 1994...that was crazyclick to expand
oh he is definitely in the closet, unless you literally look like a girl and he refuses to believe youre a guy.....Straight men dont have convos like that gay men
*convos like that with gay men
I just sent this text to him:
I don't regret saying what I said on the trip. It had to be said--I was going through camp, and before camp wondering and it was too much without knowing for certain. You know how I feel, and that's what's important. Whichever way our relationship progresses or regresses after this, I accept. I've learned that taking risks like the one I took telling you how I felt are needed if we are to move on without being bound by possibly unrequited love. I waited for some nebulous event to occur, hoping things would turn out a different way, but you have taught me what I value you most in a person, and I will look for that in others. Being gay and in love means you have to take risks to get what you want, or, in our case, what I needed to hear from your mouth. Knowing for certain that you weren't interested was very painful, but needed, because it is letting me begin the process of moving on from you. I understand that this message could make you uncomfortable, but it's important you know how I feel, and what I learned from this. I'm sure I'll learn more lessons as I get over you, and don't worry, I will not torment you with my feelings throughout camp. I just needed you to know all I wrote in this message. You don't have to respond to this of you don't wish to.
I don't regret saying what I said on the trip. It had to be said--I was going through camp, and before camp wondering and it was too much without knowing for certain. You know how I feel, and that's what's important. Whichever way our relationship progresses or regresses after this, I accept. I've learned that taking risks like the one I took telling you how I felt are needed if we are to move on without being bound by possibly unrequited love. I waited for some nebulous event to occur, hoping things would turn out a different way, but you have taught me what I value you most in a person, and I will look for that in others. Being gay and in love means you have to take risks to get what you want, or, in our case, what I needed to hear from your mouth. Knowing for certain that you weren't interested was very painful, but needed, because it is letting me begin the process of moving on from you. I understand that this message could make you uncomfortable, but it's important you know how I feel, and what I learned from this. I'm sure I'll learn more lessons as I get over you, and don't worry, I will not torment you with my feelings throughout camp. I just needed you to know all I wrote in this message. You don't have to respond to this of you don't wish to.
Posted by 13thWhat do you think about the text I sent him? It's in the message above.Posted by Shaun1994Posted by 13thI'm glad you enjoyed it 🙂. I'm not sure if it is my intuition or my hopeless hope that is making me think he is still in the closet
ah man lol I cant believe I read all this....haha good luck Shaun 1994...that was crazy
oh he is definitely in the closet, unless you literally look like a girl and he refuses to believe youre a guy.....Straight men dont have convos like that gay men
click to expand
Posted by GennieYor face...again?Posted by ReincarnationYar, OP said his crush was dragging his feet maybe because he hasn't come out and I'm like....can't force that, and you shouldn't put yourself on hold for it.Posted by GenniePosted by EllycakesI'm with Elly, it's got enormous potential to crash and burn to become involved with someone who is still in the closet.
if he isn't talking to you about how he feels he either A) Does not have romantic feelings for you, be it because he straight or just doesn't see you romantically or B) He's not comfortable with himself and isn't capable of returning affection and intimacy openly.
Don't date straight men. Or men still in the closet when you aren't. There are never long term benefits to either.
Oh - it's a dude?
Didn't read all of OP.click to expand
Posted by GemitatiHmm?Posted by GennieYor face...again?Posted by ReincarnationYar, OP said his crush was dragging his feet maybe because he hasn't come out and I'm like....can't force that, and you shouldn't put yourself on hold for it.Posted by GenniePosted by EllycakesI'm with Elly, it's got enormous potential to crash and burn to become involved with someone who is still in the closet.
if he isn't talking to you about how he feels he either A) Does not have romantic feelings for you, be it because he straight or just doesn't see you romantically or B) He's not comfortable with himself and isn't capable of returning affection and intimacy openly.
Don't date straight men. Or men still in the closet when you aren't. There are never long term benefits to either.
Oh - it's a dude?
Didn't read all of OP.click to expand
Posted by EllycakesBtw Elly, your words on this post have been the main thing helping me get over him in a cerebral sense. So thank you.Posted by Shaun1994Loving without limits is a good thing. But don't waste it on the unavailable.Posted by GennieOh, it's too late for that. I'm head over heels, car without brakes, and stupidly in love with him. I've even tried to get him out of my head. I simply can't.Posted by ReincarnationYar, OP said his crush was dragging his feet maybe because he hasn't come out and I'm like....can't force that, and you shouldn't put yourself on hold for it.Posted by GenniePosted by EllycakesI'm with Elly, it's got enormous potential to crash and burn to become involved with someone who is still in the closet.
if he isn't talking to you about how he feels he either A) Does not have romantic feelings for you, be it because he straight or just doesn't see you romantically or B) He's not comfortable with himself and isn't capable of returning affection and intimacy openly.
Don't date straight men. Or men still in the closet when you aren't. There are never long term benefits to either.
Oh - it's a dude?
Didn't read all of OP.
It might seem like you can't get him out of your head. But that's simply because your emotions and mental energy are so fixated on him.click to expand
Posted by EllycakesI'm glad you empathize. I hope I find someone who love just as, if not more strongly than do him--and who returns that love.Posted by Shaun1994Your welcome dear. 🙂Posted by EllycakesBtw Elly, your words on this post have been the main thing helping me get over him in a cerebral sense. So thank you.Posted by Shaun1994Loving without limits is a good thing. But don't waste it on the unavailable.Posted by GennieOh, it's too late for that. I'm head over heels, car without brakes, and stupidly in love with him. I've even tried to get him out of my head. I simply can't.Posted by ReincarnationYar, OP said his crush was dragging his feet maybe because he hasn't come out and I'm like....can't force that, and you shouldn't put yourself on hold for it.Posted by GenniePosted by EllycakesI'm with Elly, it's got enormous potential to crash and burn to become involved with someone who is still in the closet.
if he isn't talking to you about how he feels he either A) Does not have romantic feelings for you, be it because he straight or just doesn't see you romantically or B) He's not comfortable with himself and isn't capable of returning affection and intimacy openly.
Don't date straight men. Or men still in the closet when you aren't. There are never long term benefits to either.
Oh - it's a dude?
Didn't read all of OP.
It might seem like you can't get him out of your head. But that's simply because your emotions and mental energy are so fixated on him.
We've all been there. I think heartbreak is a universal experience almost. Nothing feels more crushing than loving someone who doesn't love you back or can't in the way you need. However knowing you'll make it through and find love again makes it easier.click to expand
So after j told him I loved him, he has either been stealthily sexual with me or just oblivious.
For example, to lift himself off a hammock he grabbed my right thigh. And, today, I was sitting at a table and he squeezed between two tables and fully drove his crotch into my shoulder and upper arm.
Now, as a straight guy, wouldn't he want to not drive his crotch, even accidentally into the gay guy who confessed his love for him?
So, once again, I am confused.
For example, to lift himself off a hammock he grabbed my right thigh. And, today, I was sitting at a table and he squeezed between two tables and fully drove his crotch into my shoulder and upper arm.
Now, as a straight guy, wouldn't he want to not drive his crotch, even accidentally into the gay guy who confessed his love for him?
So, once again, I am confused.
Posted by Shaun1994I think this guy is kinda a jerk I mean you have been so brave and put yourself out there and then he acts like this?!
So after j told him I loved him, he has either been stealthily sexual with me or just oblivious.
For example, to lift himself off a hammock he grabbed my right thigh. And, today, I was sitting at a table and he squeezed between two tables and fully drove his crotch into my shoulder and upper arm.
Now, as a straight guy, wouldn't he want to not drive his crotch, even accidentally into the gay guy who confessed his love for him?
So, once again, I am confused.
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Last year k told him I loved him as a friend (even tho I loved him as much more) and he said "why did you have to add as a friend".
Then, on Facebook, we speak and begin talking about stuff in general and the question comes up who I think is hot in camp and I said it is about H personality and tj yen listed a group of people including him (just to be safe and not outright tell him how I felt). And then I told him I loved him again on Facebook and he said "me too". In one Facebook convo he asked: "how does one come out of the closet"
Fast forward to camp this summer. Things start off rocky. Sometimes he is very sweet to me and other times he lashes out--especially when I offer him aid or ask him if he is okay (I am very intuitive and empathetic).
Anyways, I asked him why he does that, and, being the Scorpio he is, he says he feels I follow him (which I didn't). I think he just wanted to distance himself from me because I was investigating too hard. Anyways, I become passive aggressive the next few days and ignore him for two reasons: one, I want to see if he notices or cares that I was hurt and to see if he would take initiative in the situation.
He doesn't, so I call him over for a talk. I told him he made me cry a bit and asked where or friendship was at. I told him I though of him as a best friend even tho I think of him as so much more and he said I was just a friend. I asked why he told me a secret he told no one else and he said it was because I shared personal stuff prior to camp and always opened up to him.
Anyways, I thought for a bit and came to the realization that I needed to tell him how I felt. And so, I did. I told him I still loved him and reminded him of the times we said we loved eachother (to which can he claimed he doesn't remember)
Anyways, the day after our relationship improved tremendously. We talked more.
Now, I catch him looking at me and I look at him, and there is this underlying intense romantic/sexual tension every time we are together.
However, he does not tell me how he feels, and I believe it is because he is not ready to come out of the closet yet. But we are getting much closer every time we see eachother in a subtle, intuitive, and unspoken way. And I sense he feels it too.
Every time our eyes meet, I see this sort of lost boy, shimmering look or this deep intense and almost vast gaze. Yesterday he tried to watch me through the reflection of a window and I caught him doing so and he turned away immeadiately.
The point is: even tho I saw everything above, I have my doubts and am so afraid of hoping for no reason just to have those hopes crushed.