Scorpio Woman Ups & Downs - Periods of Ignoring

Hi guys,

A follow up on the scorpio woman I'm seeing. I've been experiencing the rollercoaster of dating her in the last few months. I've learnt a lot about both of us in that time and sense that we can have something special together. What I have noticed is her tendency to get really close and then have moments of retracting. I can appreciate why and value those periods. But am keen to understand how best to handle them.

We tend to have great periods of talking and messaging every day, where she initiates most of the contact. And then this follows with a period of less contact. Which I understand and is part of letting things breathe. These quieter periods have also occured after we have a deep connection of more profound conversation. Case in point, last weekend we both spoke about how we both wanted a relationship (in general) and her mind started to go all over the place (her words). Since then she's been harder to get a hold of. She's ignored a couple of calls and messages. Mid-week she said she was going to call me, but didn't. Again, I understand that she's processing things in these periods. We both need them to live our own lives as well.

However, I'm a little unsure how to handle the ocassions of being ignored. I sense no malice behind it and that she genuinely is working through her feelings. What is the best way to hande this from my side? Leave things for a few days when "ignored" and then re-connect?

Thanks!

Sure why not do a few things on your own and if it is meant to be then this space you take would either help or make it easier to move on or try to work it out and communicate with each other. But take the time to relax and do your own as she may need that too. Sometimes being attached to the hip all time makes a need for space .

Posted by Ernestos80
What is the best way to hande this from my side? Leave things for a few days when "ignored" and then re-connect?

Thanks!

I can't really instruct you on how to handle your feelings and I am a little confused about what the problem is. Not trying to dismiss your concerns, I simply mean you've stated you know there is no malice behind her distance, you also stated you know her silence is about her need to process her feelings. Finally, you've suggested that she somewhat communicates what is happening for her (e.g. over analyzing), so what more is there to do other than to decide if you can either accept that she is the type of person what needs space to sort things out or you can't. You won't be changing her behaviour any time soon, so you need to sort out what you can handle and what you can't.

You could inform her that her distance is bothering you, but I truly don't see that changing very much. Scorps need breathing room to process information and feelings. If she has an air moon it may even be more about distancing herself from the feelings all together.

What you can do is express to her that the way that she "communicates" that she needs space isn't working for you*. Let her know ignoring your messages and calls are not acceptable to you and you would at least like the courtesy of letting you know she needs space and you'll gladly give it. No one likes to be ignored and I'm sure she knows this, but sometimes you need to inform people of your limits and boundaries.

*this only work if you're in committed relationship. If not, stay in your lane or a Scorp will push you back there.

Posted by PhoenixRising
this only work if you're in committed relationship. If not, stay in your lane or a Scorp will push you back there.

I don't want to change her nor would I ever expect to. Any changes in her come from her and I'll be here to support her. I can more than handle the fact that she needs space sometimes. I have been doing for months. I sense the in and out of the dyanmic. I'm a Cancer and a Scorpio rising, so I have that instinct myself.

As for bringing it up, we're not in that place yet. Last time we spoke we both said we wanted to be in relationship generally and her mind then started to wander. Since then there's been some distance and "ignoring". I feel we can sense there's a strong draw towards us being together. From my side I do have a part of me that wants to honestly and kindly say that I'm happy to give space when needed for either of us, but that I feel there are better ways of achieving that without ignoring. However, I sense your point of that not being the right time given we're not in a full relationship yet. I think I just have that slight inner conflict of wanting to be honest with her and saying the above, but sensing your point, i.e. it's too soon and won't change anything. Time to breathe and remember to keep patient.

Thanks 🙂

Okay, well Infinite8 is married to a Crab, so she may be able to help you with the language that her Crab uses to approach difficult topics that sits well with her.

Please keep in mind other things outside of her Sun sign will influence what approach will work for her. Her chart specs and the reason you two have only "talked in general" about being in a relationship are also things to consider. I have a lot of Scorp energy with certain placements that can make me quite distant, rebellious and stubborn if a relationship isnt firmly developed. That may not be the case for her.

So are you dating or just very close friends that care for each other? Why are you only discussing the topic of being in a relationship in a general way? I'm only asking because these factors will influence how you can approach the subject with her.

I still have to fall back to personal freedom. Meaning, you have to decided if the way she handles things works for you at this stage. If not, don't settle.

Posted by Infinite8
...If I am not 100% comfortable with someone and I immediately know they like me, and they want a serious commitment and get married right away. I had a tendency to not want it in return. It felt forced. Like the person wanted the idea more than they wanted the real me.

Getting to know the REAL person was more important to me that wanting full commitment right away...I wanted to feel comfortable enough to make the decision on my own with out it being forced upon me...There is no way you an go further if there is no flow, trust and friendship.

+1

Posted by Infinite8
I'm confused @Ernestos80 , so... you aren't official with her yet?

The approach that I liked about my husband was that his energy felt "friendly" from the get-go. He would always ask me out in a group setting... so, it allowed me to observe him in his natural habitat and how he was with his friends and in turn really learn to trust him.

He was always persistent to have me around and when in group settings... he would single me out and spend time with me and connect. Honestly, the process felt so natural that I felt comfortable enough to love and respect him. It put me in a position where I never wanted to hurt him and I really cared for him.

I personally don't like forced situations. If I am not 100% comfortable with someone and I immediately know they like me, and they want a serious commitment and get married right away... I had a tendency to not want it in return. It felt forced. Like the person wanted the idea more than they wanted the real me.

Getting to know the REAL person was more important to me that wanting full commitment right away. I wanted to feel comfortable enough to make the decision on my own with out it being forced upon me. My husband managed to make me feel like he wasn't going to push me into anything.

I'm thinking your girl is feeling forced somehow. Maybe she sees desperation in your eyes or hears it in your voice? There is a lack of flow in both of you as well that doesn't seem promising. There is no way you could go further if there is no flow, trust and friendship. She needs to feel more comfortable before she moves forward, I think.

We're not in the same city, so haven't seen each other for a few months. Thanks for the insight on how your husband attracted you. Everything was an intense whirlwind when we started dating for both of us. We slowed it down once we'd been together for a while as then things became more real in terms of being in a relationship and I feel she has needed the time to process that and yes trust. However, she has outright said that she trusts me and that she's addicted to me. The flow is more fluid than I may make it seem. She contacts me as much as I do her. She has also initiated conversations around seeing each other or more "deep topics" such as saying she'd "want to be with me forever". I sense it's more about her seeing those things in me more and more to back up what she's saying and also what she's "not saying".

what you call ignoring
is her tending to herself.
branch out from what you
think it is, and see if for what
it really is.

scorpios do need time to self.
i am married and i still need my
solitude. thankfully, i have a bull
who understands and gives me this.
he does not take offense or worries.
when i am ready, i come back to him.
it is never a long period, i just need a
short time to regather and regain myself.
back up and give her the personal time.