trypanosoma
@trypanosoma
18 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 2
Scorpios and Love!
how long is a piece of string?
I'm afraid that I'll be the one that's emotionally drained since he admits to not being in love with me. I admire the honesty but I'm afraid of being in a happy relationship if he will continue to not open his guard to fall in love. You can love anyone, love a lamp, but falling in love is different.
I'm going to get slammed for this.
Okay, being that he'a scorpio male, if he says that he isn't in love with you, then he means just that. If you two are having sex and you are in love with him, chances are that he will hurt the hell out of you because you really want more emotionally.
So, he was honest with you, take it for what its worth and try breaking ties with him gradually -- if you don't, then you will fall deeper and deeper. If this happens, then it will be harder to say goodbye.
I'm going to get slammed for this.
Okay, being that he'a scorpio male, if he says that he isn't in love with you, then he means just that. If you two are having sex and you are in love with him, chances are that he will hurt the hell out of you because you really want more emotionally.
So, he was honest with you, take it for what its worth and try breaking ties with him gradually -- if you don't, then you will fall deeper and deeper. If this happens, then it will be harder to say goodbye.
"I made the mistake of telling him that I loved him in month 5 because I was so certain that he would say it back"
well it certainly was a mistake if you just said it to hear him say it back. scorpios find it hard to even say 'i love you too' which is the lamest way of saying the three words!
to be honest, i would be really upset if i was genuinely in love with someone who said they didn't feel the same way back. that's like the ultimate humiliation imo. too hurtful to come back from too but if he honestly feels that way, you have to decide if you can live with second best until he makes his mind up about you.
well it certainly was a mistake if you just said it to hear him say it back. scorpios find it hard to even say 'i love you too' which is the lamest way of saying the three words!
to be honest, i would be really upset if i was genuinely in love with someone who said they didn't feel the same way back. that's like the ultimate humiliation imo. too hurtful to come back from too but if he honestly feels that way, you have to decide if you can live with second best until he makes his mind up about you.
just beware that sometimes if you feel rejected by someone, it makes you want them more. then you are in dangerous territory because you will be in love with your idea of him rather than the reality.
Yeah, I don't think it's in the cards if it hasn't happened by now. I would try pulling back little by little, if he really wants you he'll be chasing your retreat. We all want what we can't have regardless of birth sign.
Well, I've never said it first, but if I did and the person didn't feel the same way, I'm out. It would seem like a big old waste of time to me.
When I told my Scorp man that I loved him, all I got was "WOW!" What the heck did that mean? LOL Later that night, I had a nightmare about him leaving me for another woman who he had gotten pregnant. I got up to shake off the dream and when I came back, he asked if I was ok. I said, yea and then asked him "You're not planning to knock up some other woman and leave me for her, are you?" He responded "not at this moment". (Don't they just piss you off at times?)
Anyway, I decided at that point that I had a couple options. I couldn't take the words back and even if I could, I didn't want to because I meant it. So I stayed true to myself and to my words and let the situation play out. Neither of us ever brought it up and I just continued to be exactly how I was before - even though I was dieing inside.
About two weeks later, I was cooking us dinner at my house and he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck and said "You are the best and you do know I love you, don't you?" I told him of course and that I loved him two. Longest 2 weeks of my life but I don't regret it one bit. I'm sure if I had let my insecurities take over and get all flaky, he would've run for the hills so fast. But staying true to myself AND my words, I honestly believed I gained his respect. Without their respect, they cannot love you.
So, if you really meant is, then stand behind your words. Worst case senario, even if he never does get to the "I Love You" you will have his repsect. If you said it just to hear it back, he probably knows that and that is a game to him and he cannot respect someone who plays games. In that case, you should get while the getting is good (before you really get hung up on him).
Anyway, I decided at that point that I had a couple options. I couldn't take the words back and even if I could, I didn't want to because I meant it. So I stayed true to myself and to my words and let the situation play out. Neither of us ever brought it up and I just continued to be exactly how I was before - even though I was dieing inside.
About two weeks later, I was cooking us dinner at my house and he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck and said "You are the best and you do know I love you, don't you?" I told him of course and that I loved him two. Longest 2 weeks of my life but I don't regret it one bit. I'm sure if I had let my insecurities take over and get all flaky, he would've run for the hills so fast. But staying true to myself AND my words, I honestly believed I gained his respect. Without their respect, they cannot love you.
So, if you really meant is, then stand behind your words. Worst case senario, even if he never does get to the "I Love You" you will have his repsect. If you said it just to hear it back, he probably knows that and that is a game to him and he cannot respect someone who plays games. In that case, you should get while the getting is good (before you really get hung up on him).
fumingli_scorp,
Like most of us, your VirGuy is an emotional retard. Scorps thrive on emotion. I can't tell you how many 1000's of times I've unintentionally offended / hurt / confused my Scorp because I JUST DON'T GET IT! I often have no clue what IT even is!
We've made it going on 3 years now because she knows I am emotionally clueless about 75% of the time, but trusts that my motivations are good - even if my expression is stupid, or inappropriate, or completely unreadable.
S + V is a tough relationship to get started.
I think your VG is trying to be honest with you about where he sees things: ...he is not in love with me but he 'really really... likes me'!!
Most of the time with us, LIKE turns into LOVE, but not overnight. Debra and I moved at lightning speed, but we'd known each other through work for several years, and we had a network of friends and coworkers helping us along. Otherwise, I might not have ever asked her out!
My advice: Pay more attention to how he behaves than what he says. The Truth will show itself.
"...are you in love with me now?"
Well—— Are ya...—??
Well—— Are ya...—??
Listen hon...you need to turn the situation to your advantage. Just cuz you spilled the beans need not mean you're toast. You just need to be strategic...not emotional....STRATEGIC !!!
"Like a scorp, I don't want to open myself more if there's a possibility of him hurting me because I said that I'm in love."
Yes...if you dont become strategic and decide to become emotional c'est fini. You are done ! And yes, you WILL become emotionally drained.
So you told him you're in love...great...so keep things moving and act like you never said it. Do you have any air in your chart that you can channel? Cuz hon, now's the time to become mysterious on him.
No sitting at home all teary-eyed waiting for him to get all mushy. Nuh uh...keep things moving.
"Like a scorp, I don't want to open myself more if there's a possibility of him hurting me because I said that I'm in love."
Yes...if you dont become strategic and decide to become emotional c'est fini. You are done ! And yes, you WILL become emotionally drained.
So you told him you're in love...great...so keep things moving and act like you never said it. Do you have any air in your chart that you can channel? Cuz hon, now's the time to become mysterious on him.
No sitting at home all teary-eyed waiting for him to get all mushy. Nuh uh...keep things moving.
"...(but, we all know, they ALWAYS come back)"
Hehe, wrong.
Hehe, wrong.
Hehe...RIGHT !!!
Whether it's to try and get in your pants again...or maybe try and get a little revenge...they come back.
Like I said before...they're like c0ckroaches. Cant get rid of em...
Whether it's to try and get in your pants again...or maybe try and get a little revenge...they come back.
Like I said before...they're like c0ckroaches. Cant get rid of em...
"fwiw, i don't think one will grow to be in love if it is not there in the first place."
Hmmmm...hon, think about that statement. How do two people who are purely friends suddenly fall in love? Cuz love grows. And then surface love deepens even further.
He's not gonna hang around with her for 7 months if he didnt know he could fall in love with her. They dont tend to stay that long...cuz they know straight away if you're potential or not. They just move like snails...taking forever to decide. And even if he WAS in love with her...he's not gonna say it.
It took Jason 10 years to tell me he was in love with me...haha. But the fact that he was with me pretty much said it all.
She just needs to be patient. That's all.
Hmmmm...hon, think about that statement. How do two people who are purely friends suddenly fall in love? Cuz love grows. And then surface love deepens even further.
He's not gonna hang around with her for 7 months if he didnt know he could fall in love with her. They dont tend to stay that long...cuz they know straight away if you're potential or not. They just move like snails...taking forever to decide. And even if he WAS in love with her...he's not gonna say it.
It took Jason 10 years to tell me he was in love with me...haha. But the fact that he was with me pretty much said it all.
She just needs to be patient. That's all.
"10 years? LOL!"
LOL...what can I say? We were too busy fighting.
I guess he couldnt figure where my feelings were at. I was erratic...but to be honest...so was he. I couldnt understand him...he couldnt understand me...and we couldnt understand why the hell we couldnt get away from each other.
LOL...what can I say? We were too busy fighting.
I guess he couldnt figure where my feelings were at. I was erratic...but to be honest...so was he. I couldnt understand him...he couldnt understand me...and we couldnt understand why the hell we couldnt get away from each other.
"there is a difference between *not* saying "i'm in love w/ you" and saying "i'm NOT in love with you"."
True.
But I dunno...she's saying he said he loves her...why isnt that enough? Why does she have to analyse it? I mean why does the in part have to be included?
When Jase uttered those words...I wasn't thinking "ok...did he say he loves me or that he's in love with me...cuz really if he just said he loves me does that really mean he loves me...or he's in love with me...." Ga !!!
True.
But I dunno...she's saying he said he loves her...why isnt that enough? Why does she have to analyse it? I mean why does the in part have to be included?
When Jase uttered those words...I wasn't thinking "ok...did he say he loves me or that he's in love with me...cuz really if he just said he loves me does that really mean he loves me...or he's in love with me...." Ga !!!
I honestly think that disclaimer was put in to protect himself. He wouldnt still be with her otherwise...but if she's gonna freak out cuz he said that...then so be it.
I'd just keep things moving and keep letting him do the work.
I'd just keep things moving and keep letting him do the work.
"Hehe...RIGHT !!!
Whether it's to try and get in your pants again...or maybe try and get a little revenge...they come back.
Like I said before...they're like c0ckroaches. Cant get rid of em..."
Oh, my bad, we're talking about exes begging for booty calls, yep like cockroaches. I thought we were talking about Scorps always coming back; only if invited and only for sex until the next meal comes along...
Whether it's to try and get in your pants again...or maybe try and get a little revenge...they come back.
Like I said before...they're like c0ckroaches. Cant get rid of em..."
Oh, my bad, we're talking about exes begging for booty calls, yep like cockroaches. I thought we were talking about Scorps always coming back; only if invited and only for sex until the next meal comes along...
lol @ m&mgem
Does that ring a familiar bell?
Does that ring a familiar bell?
"an intuitive person should know whether he/she is in love with another in weeks even days not months. whether to say it or make it known is another story."
That's true sagigoat. I really didnt need Jase to tell me he loved me or was in love or however many ways you can say that damn thing.
Even through the fights his eyes said it all. Although there was a time I really felt bad...lol...but I swear he can be an ass sometimes. Anyway...during one of our multitude of arguments...(this was before we got married)...he stormed out of my apartment one night...with me in tow screaming at him....hahaha. the neighbours must have thought we were NUTS!
He walked to his car then turned and came back at me furious. Said nothing. Walked back to his car...then came back...lol...and then he goes "I dont understand why you do this to me"
And then I realised that he was crying. I was like...uh oh...crap !!! I couldnt NOT hug him and say sorry. Awwwwww...
That's true sagigoat. I really didnt need Jase to tell me he loved me or was in love or however many ways you can say that damn thing.
Even through the fights his eyes said it all. Although there was a time I really felt bad...lol...but I swear he can be an ass sometimes. Anyway...during one of our multitude of arguments...(this was before we got married)...he stormed out of my apartment one night...with me in tow screaming at him....hahaha. the neighbours must have thought we were NUTS!
He walked to his car then turned and came back at me furious. Said nothing. Walked back to his car...then came back...lol...and then he goes "I dont understand why you do this to me"
And then I realised that he was crying. I was like...uh oh...crap !!! I couldnt NOT hug him and say sorry. Awwwwww...
"I like that Newbie"
Cositas de la vida, no se puede prevenir 😉
Cositas de la vida, no se puede prevenir 😉
LOL @ 'Chickenroaches.'
I LOVE this filter!!!! 🙂
I LOVE this filter!!!! 🙂
'I'd immediately withdraw my feelings for him...'
Sagigoat, could you BOTTLE that ability and sell it to - erm, Virgos, for example— 😉
Sagigoat, could you BOTTLE that ability and sell it to - erm, Virgos, for example— 😉
To the original question. Shockingly a scorp guy told me he loved me first, even when I knew it must be impossible for him to do so, so soon. Again, they sometimes get so emotional and seem to mix love with lust. I think that was the case in my situation, but if he says he loves you but not in love with you he definitely means just that.
QS: ...they sometimes get so emotional and seem to mix love with lust.
I've seen this with my younger Scorp Brother - get so caught up in the momentarily intense feelings that he calls lust love. But the morning after, comes the hangover...
Yeah some Scorps can get caught up in the moment and say I love you to soon.
It's only been 7 months. Stop asking him questions like that so soon.
7 months is nothing. At least he was honest.
It's only been 7 months. Stop asking him questions like that so soon.
7 months is nothing. At least he was honest.
This whole, I love you but am not in love with you is a load of ol' bollox.....I would save yourself and get out of it...he's having his cake and eating it..from the very little i've read of this...
I was kind of surprised to read how many people would throw the relationship out the window if the guy couldn't/wouldn't say he was "in love" just because you did. How many people actually reach the same stage of a relationship at exactly the same time? I'd venture to guess not many. To the original poster: He said he loves you, if his actions show that then why end things? If you did I'd pose the question, Do you really love him? Isn't love suppose to be patient? Isn't it suppose to be unconditional. It would seem that if you chose to end the relationship because he couldn't honestly say I'm in love with you, you'd be putting conditions on your love for him & that's not real love. I've recently went through this same situation in my life & come to the conclusion that if I'm in such a hurry to rush to the next stage, I'm missing out on all the good parts of this stage. Enjoy your time with him, I know no one wants to waste time on something that may not work out BUT if you enjoy the moments of today...How could you say that was wasted time? even if it doesn't work out 🙂
Great questions, CanTaur!!
I think people these days are much less patient than in the past, and that hurts many potential relationships.
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I'm afraid that I'll be the one that's emotionally drained since he admits to not being in love with me. I admire the honesty but I'm afraid of being in a happy relationship if he will continue to not open his guard to fall in love. You can love anyone, love a lamp, but falling in love is different. Like a scorp, I don't want to open myself more if there's a possibility of him hurting me because I said that I'm in love.
Thanks everyone!