Scorpios and self-respect

Reading a post on another thread about how you need to not put up with a Scorpio's behavior (when it's bad, of course) and have some self-respect--how do you all feel about that? A Scorpio I dated for only a couple of months ended things with me two weeks ago over what he said was a lie and I say was a misunderstanding, and while at first I was really hurt (I'm a Cancer) and wanted him to change his mind, the more time goes by, the more I think he may have done me a favor. I really felt like we clicked, but I think that if someone really likes you, they wouldn't cut you off, even if they ARE a Scorpio. I've been obsessively reading these boards trying to figure him out, but in the long run, I think I shouldn't be trying to excuse his cold-heartedness. I think if he liked me even half as much as he pretended to (and wow, did he come on strong, wanting to see me everyday and saying he never wants to see a woman everyday, saying my lie "broke his heart," etc.), he'd want to work through this rather than cut me out of his life completely. Scorpio or not.

Of course, if Scorpios really do always come back, watch him come back after I've decided he treated me horribly and doesn't deserve me...LOL...

I think they only come back if they like you,,,,because from what I read,if they are done, they are done...

every scorpio is different, remember. you have to look at them as a person rather than them as their sign.

thats because a cancer and a scorp is still a person and a person.
only with me it's more like a person and a God

I had told my ex-boyfriend we couldn't hang out anymore (because it bothered this Scorpio), and I told the Scorpio that. But a few days later, my ex called and was really unhappy and wanting to talk, so I told the Scorpio I might go talk to him because I didn't like hurting him but I wouldn't go if that upset him, and the Scorpio got really angry and said that I clearly didn't want to stop spending time with my ex and I lied about telling him we couldn't see each other anymore. I didn't go see the ex, and I apologized a trillion times for even considering it (which I admit was a stupid idea, but I hated hurting someone who had been so close to me for five years), but he said it was a huge deal and that I may as well have slept with him again, which to me is a major overreaction--especially because this guy had told me when I did talk to the ex that doing so put a lot of pressure on us. I was getting mixed messages galore.

Cancerchic, do not go after him. Give him space. The more you go after him the more he will pull apart. If it something very silly from YOUR point of view but NOT from HIS (as can be expected in the case of a scorp), then try to talk to him after a reasonable gap. If he still does not come or open up, then just forget it .....if that is possible for YOU.

is it me? or are all the other scorpios lately being really overdramatic.
ITS YOUR EX! tell your new scorp that means he won.

I know--I did tell him he "won," that I've never gotten rid of the ex for another guy before, but apparently he thought I meant I told the ex we couldn't have any contact again, ever, when what I meant was I told him we couldn't see each other or talk/e-mail regularly anymore. Anyway, when it first happened, I tried to make things better and talk about it, and that was a mistake. He told me he just wanted time but I didn't give it to him, and now he doesn't see things the same way. So it sounds pretty final to me...which is unfortunate, but I guess I'd rather not be with someone who could cut me off that easily anyway. I'd always feel like an ax was hanging over my head.

Yeah, I actually don't think he's coming back. And that's why I'm thinking if I had any self-respect, I wouldn't care--because I made a sacrifice for him and made it clear I wanted to please him, but he still just wrote me off for something that he blew up in his mind. This happened too early on for there to be any "love" feelings involved, which I guess is why he was able to cut me out so easily. It boggles my mind how someone can be so harsh, but I guess this was just a lesson learned on my part (not to let down my guard and trust someone so early even when they're saying how much they like me).

I like your style AB....no frills, no bullshit type of woman. Have to respect that. AB is right about what she said in a previous post....We (women) need to stop being so damn weak.

Yes,,,but there is line that has to be drawn...

LOL...(:

You draw the line when you've had enough...When you have tried your best and its still not working

I agree--I want to work on being "harder." I tend to give too many people--men and women--second chances, and sometimes it's just not worth it. And I do choose the wrong men. This one had "red flag" written all over him (saying he doesn't believe relationships ever work out, that he'd rather write a woman off early on than hope things will change, that he's broken up with a woman because she gained weight, etc.), but I still found myself getting involved. I need to listen to myself more instead of enjoying the attention...

The only reason he might come back is that he said most of his relationships have been off-and-on, and I can certainly see why if he explodes over these little things. I'm trying to tell myself that if he does come back, I need to tell him to go away again...so thanks for the encouragement...that's the kind of thing I need to hear...I don't think it will be an issue, but you never know.

Word up...Fa real doe

I hate to admit you're right, Aprilbaby, but you so are...I wanted to believe I was special with this guy and either he didn't mean those things or he just hadn't met someone like me before. I'd like to think I wasn't a complete fool--he did tell me it was different with me constantly by saying that he "never" spends so much time with a woman, and he "never" calls a woman so often, and he "never" pursues a woman this much, and he "never" lets a woman be in control but I'm totally in control. He made a big deal over inviting me to this annual thing he does with his friends, saying he has only invited one other woman, etc. I fell for all of it. I don't know if it was just lines and he was playing me, or if he meant it and maybe the thing with my ex scared him into thinking I'd get back with him and hurt him (that sounds awfully naive and self-indulgent to me), or what, but it doesn't matter...Next time, I will try to listen to my gut--and what the next guy says--more.

"was it a case of trying to 'have your Cake and eat it' (that phrase always looks silly to me,of course you want to eat your own cake)—"


"I think it was termed by someone who thought matyrdom was in or something of that sort and thought everyone else had to feel it too."

I started a thread about does scorpio want his cake and eat it too?. I first heard this phrase from my great gandmother, which is nothing more than selfishness. One example, a cheating spouse be it man or woman cheating for many many years is nothing more than someone wanting their cake and eat it too.