Sign-ism

Serious inquiry here.

In terms of romantic interests, do you purposely avoid people of a certain astrological sign? Is sign "compatibility" a prerequisite of your dating criteria? To be clear, I am not talking about having a preference, but rather discriminating against specific signs.

It seems that such a practice would be comparable to discriminating against potential partners on the basis of skin color/religion/ethnicity/socioeconomic status. Afterall, a person cannot control the day on which they were born.


For example, for me to declare, "I don't date Virgos. Period." would be the equivalent of saying, "I don't date Canadian-Americans, period." Agree or disagree?

Zodiac signs affect personality. Race/culture/religion/socioeconomics may influence beliefs but they do not drive a personality.

I'm leery of Gemini men.

From experience, I stay away from Gems, Aquas, Leos, and Bulls (too much in common on the ones I met).
Scorp have given me a bad taste so far. Still open to them. (love being punished I guess).
The rest have not come across with on a very personal agenda.

I STRICTLY Befriend: Aquarians, Aries, Libras, Leos, Geminis & Saggs... (even if they suggest more than friendship..I SHUT them down.

I've never dated: A Pisces or Cancer
Flirted with and didn't proceed with: A Taurus (he had the SAME birthday as me, butted heads ALOT)
I've Dated: Scorpios,Capricorns, and a penny pinching Virgo(Smh)..

Agreed. It is a prejudice like any other.

I will never date another Gem women. The love of my life is a Gem & that off on relationship lasted for like 7 yrs. That is the only sign I would never date no matter who the women was. Weird I know.

Posted by seraph
I dunno, but Taur Sun, Scorp Moon, Gemini Merc and maybe Venus in Aries . . . sounds like trouble.


😉

Sounds like a GREAT combo to me..lol 😄

Hate to say it, but I tend to avoid Geminis and Aries women like the plague.

Posted by truecap
Zodiac signs affect personality. Race/culture/religion/socioeconomics may influence beliefs but they do not drive a personality.

You don't think someone's religion or upbringing influences their personality? How they treat people? Or how they approach relationships?

Posted by seraph
Nah. I'm more of an equal opportunity employer.

LOLOL!!

Okay, so do any of you *HAVE* to know someone's sign before they entertain the idea of dating them?


I never ask for anyone's sign or birthday. I just wait for it to come up in conversation. I'd hate to miss out on a great friendship/relationship based on an incorrect assumption.

Oh, and thank you all for answering honestly (seems like you did).

Posted by NovLady
Great topic!
I call this Astrological Prejudice and have discussed this with a girlfriend at length. She is anti-Gemini/Virgo due to personal experiences.

I use to have a bias. But, like any prejudice, education empowers.

Amen.

Posted by BullGem

Posted by ScorpSuperior
Okay, so do any of you *HAVE* to know someone's sign before they entertain the idea of dating them?


I never ask for anyone's sign or birthday. I just wait for it to come up in conversation. I'd hate to miss out on a great friendship/relationship based on an incorrect assumption.

same here, their birthday comes up later once I already know them. But most of the people I absolutely love are serious-minded, passionate and somewhat intense. 🙂

click to expand

Me too!

Posted by ScorpSuperior
Okay, so do any of you *HAVE* to know someone's sign before they entertain the idea of dating them?


I never ask for anyone's sign or birthday. I just wait for it to come up in conversation. I'd hate to miss out on a great friendship/relationship based on an incorrect assumption.

I try not to ask or bring up birthdays,I try to give ppl personality a chance to shine on their own without the filter. Sometimes the other party brings up their OWN sign..and brags LOUD and PROUD..(Like a LEO I once met.) I was immediately turned off...I just don't want to deal with headaches and/or unnecessary annoyances, that certain signs exhibit...SECURITY & Familiarity is key for the Bull. I'm DONE with experimenting. The guys I am attracted to have a SENSUALITY and smoldering intensity about them but are intellectual and are funny as well. If they cater and Pamper THIS Queen..They'd definitely have my attention.

You know what is kind of wierd?

Aside from one Scorp and one Cancer, the only other romantic interests I've had were Virgos. Any guy whose ever shown serious interest in me, dated me, or initiated a LTR with me...all Virgos. Yikes!

Posted by BullGem
I had one gemini boyfriend when I was in high school and that was a disaster. It was awful! And I had a thing with a pisces but we'd both decided that friendship was the best thing for us (he had serious issues to deal with).

The two signs I've had serious feelings for :Scorpio and Capricorn. Moon signs I really like : aries moon.

My bf is a cap moon. It's...so-so at times. 😛

me too, my serious relationships were mostly with Capricorns and Scorpios. My EX Capricorn that still loves me to this day, had an Aquarius Moon/Venus in Scorpio. I'm currently dealing with a Scorp.

Posted by ScorpSuperior
Okay, so do any of you *HAVE* to know someone's sign before they entertain the idea of dating them?


I never ask for anyone's sign or birthday. I just wait for it to come up in conversation. I'd hate to miss out on a great friendship/relationship based on an incorrect assumption.

Really?? I would love to be able to do that. So far, I haven't been able to resist.

The same ignorance that drives any other prejudice is frighteningly evident in signism. lol Its apparant here, even amongst rather educated astro folk.

Sadly yes. It sucks. But im learning

I'm very cautious over Scorpio and Pisces males. Yes I know. Just cant trust them. One can treetrunk me over and the other can be so disloyal but in a sneaky way

Aquarius males too. We make great friends but lovers, no. Some of them do out of pocket things that turns me off.


The rest of the signs I'm still cautious but not too much lol

lol I know what ya mean about Pisces and Scorpio men.

Posted by MsPisces.
lol I know what ya mean about Pisces and Scorpio men.

lol im not trying to bash all the males. i know they are some great scorpio and pisces males but the ones i watch and experience with just makes me not want to trust them. Especially the Pisces males. They can be disloyal to you, but they dont want their lovers to do the same thing to them. if their lover flirted or slept with another person, they'll be so jealous and heartbroken. Such hypocrites! No thank you!

Posted by MsPisces.
The same ignorance that drives any other prejudice is frighteningly evident in signism. lol Its apparant here, even amongst rather educated astro folk.

Word.

No but I do have serious concerns about Scorpio women. I think after getting to understand astrology I have realized that the sun sign alone doesn't tell you enough. I am a Cancer sun but I have so much air and fire in my chart that I actually get along better with fire and air signs better than water or earth signs whether it is romantic or friendly relationships. I think shooting down someone based on just their sun sign doesn't seem right. That said I reserve a certain wariness of Scorpios.

i can pretty much handle any sun sign to a certain degree, but no air moons please. i dont even care if it is conjunct pluto at zero degrees and in the 8th house.

Posted by QUlETstorm
I wonder if it's because we are fixed in our nature, we're set in our ways. We find what works for us and we stick with it.

I can eat italian food for the rest of my life and be content. Yet I have no desire for chinese food, it's just not my thing.

And by you saying that learning this gives you a sense of wariness toward Scorpio females, well then I'd imagine you can understand my wariness toward a Gemini males fickle nature. It's all the same really.

Well I think it's a sense of discomfort rather than a fixed nature. I like to think I am open minded and willing to be reasoned with. Although I am wary of scorpio women that doesn't mean I would shut them down completely based on that factor alone without giving myself the opportunity to know the person. Similar to your food analogy just like food gives physical discomfort the wrong type of people can give you mental discomfort. But the wrong kind of people can belong to any sun sign...not necessarily just scorpio or gemini.

Posted by QUlETstorm
I agree! It's not the sign alone that turns me off.. it's the general personality traits OF those signs that turn me off. To break it down, Leo men in general are arrogant. I'm repulsed by arrogance. I think the only Leo that I've seen NOT be arrogant was President Obama, and even then, we only see what's on TV. He might be arrogant as hell behind the scenes. Gemini men are flirtatious and fickle. This is something else that discomforts me because I am insecure and possessive in nature. Those are MY flaws. Everyone has flaws... some you can live with, others you can live without.

Agreed, that said I also believe in the ability of nurture to overcome personality flaws. This is why I said although I will be wary I won't discount anyone just based on their sun sign. I don't argue the point that some traits are very hard to overcome. Self awareness and spiritual knowledge of oneself has a great ability to helps us slowly overcome our flaws.

Posted by QUlETstorm
I am a scorpio myself, yet I'm not attracted to scorpio men. It doesn't mean that I'm AGAINST my own sign.

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I want to clarify that I don't have any personally bad experiences with Scoripio women. However I have observed their paranoia of conspiracies against them and the need for retribution, these two aspects deeply bother me.

Posted by QUlETstorm
^ I can understand why. Another reason why a scorpio man and myself wouldn't work. There are certainly aspects of myself that I don't even like.

The paranoia that almost everyone I love will betray me at some point haunts me. Definitely not something that I or any other scorp would be proud of.

I have close friends, Cancer M/Scorp F couple, he spends like half his time reassuring her that he is there to protect her against all "her enemies". No matter how much you love a person, that takes a lot of energy.

@ Mellymel, that's a fine way of putting it, perhaps that imbalance or exaggeration is what makes us mentally uncomfortable with a particular sign. That would also suppose that more evolved individuals of any sign should be agreeable in a relationship.

Posted by QUlETstorm

I agree. I don't know how deep you are into astrology, or if you know about moon signs or the role that they play.. but I am a scorp female with a cancer moon. I once dated a cancer sun male with a scorp moon... the roles were reversed. Every time I paid him a compliment or said I missed him/was thinking about him, he accused me of being insincere, and even went as far as to say he bet I say that to all the men. I was offended for obvious reasons. LOL I stuck around for a few months, I really liked the guy and my cancer moon tried to reassure him that my feelings were genuine. But you are right, it is definitely draining and so that obviously didn't work out.

I wouldn't claim to be an expert but I do my best to follow the basics of astrology. I understand the role of Sun, moon and the other personal planets. I think the scorpio sun can be softened to an extent by a Cancer/Pisces/Libra moon etc. On the other hand it can turn even more virulent in combination with certain other moon signs. I have also noted something strange, some people display the personality of their moon sign a lot more than their sun, I don't really get it. I am a Cancer with an Aquarian moon and a lot of people have told me that I display an aquarian personality rather than that of Cancer. My understanding was that the Sun being the most powerful celestial body has the most impact on our personality and that the moon and rising only balance it out. But I do find sometimes that this isn't true. You have any explanation on that?

Well I feel like I don't fit into this discussion based on the prejudices displayed to people with air suns and air moons...

I have both my sun, moon, and ascendant in Aquarius...

Yet I feel like I connect the best with water signs... Well I dunno I like them the best anyways...

I do have a lot of water placements but my chart is kinda evenly dispersed across all elements, although I think I only have one earth placement.

I wouldn't date someone based purely of a sign... that's sorta bonkers!

NOT all Scorpios are the same just like NOT all Aquarians are the same. I can see why you wouldn't be attracted to someone who coldly calculates something all the time with out taking their emotions into consideration but that can be argued at the other extreme too... when someone only factors their emotions or how they feel to make a decision without using their brain at all I'm certain everyone would agree that's retarded.

I usually use sign knowledge of someone to help me understand them better... and not make me shut them out. Like seraph I'm an equal opportunist... as long as you've struck my fancy so far.

Posted by QUlETstorm
I am by no means an expert either! LOL But I wholeheartedly agree with what you're saying. My cancer moon definitely makes me softer around the edges. I have also evolved quite a bit though.. In my early 20's, I was a typical scorp. Vengeful, mistrusting, scorned.. all that negative stuff. Lol. I do still have my insecurities but since I joined these boards back in 2008 and researched my own chart, I have definitely learned more about myself. I've learned that there's a huge difference between insecurity & "intuition" which is a word that scorpio women LOVE to throw around. I do believe in intuition, but I also know that sometimes we get a little too far into our own heads, and find these worst case scenarios and it just snow-balls from there. I have learned to regulate those habits. I'm still a work in progress, but I've come quite a long way.

I seem to attract a lot of scorpio moons. And scorpio moons can probably be great in their own way... but when paired with my delicate cancer moon, I am easily hurt and/or pissed off. LOL Don't get me wrong, I am as feisty as another scorpio chick. But I am also extremely sensitive. People with scorpio moons seem to provoke my uglier side.. their blows tend to be a lot lower than the average. (speaking from experience only) This is just something I've observed. I've met 3 different men of different sun signs, but they each had a scorpio moon. I felt strongly for each of them, but each of them also had the greatest potential and likelihood to hurt me. It was weird...

My current boyfriend is a capricorn and he also has a cancer moon. He is careful with me and my feelings. It helps.

Thanks for that insight. I guess the moon is a lot more influential than I thought!

Posted by QUlETstorm
As far as my experience with Aquarius men, they also make really good friends when they're not trying to get in your pants. LOL My cancer sister was recently just used by two aquarius men within a 6 month period. She's going through a divorce and is vulnerable and going through some sort of phase... I feel that the aquarius men were either totally oblivious to her vulnerable state, or they used it to their advantage by making her believe that they were her "best friend" and then using her and discarding her like a paper plate.

I have aquarian male friends and they would hump a pony if you dressed it up in a skirt. It's hard to always say that they are trying to trick or are oblivious, I have seen them do both. An aquarian doesn't see sex as a big deal, that's probably another big reason.

Posted by QUlETstorm
Yeah, it's definitely most dominant in me anyway. My midheaven is also in Cancer though.. I wonder if that intensifies it. Don't know much about what Midheaven means.

I have sun and midheaven in Cancer too! However I have aqua moon and Libra rising.

Posted by MellyMel

then again, being a more evolved individual might mean recognizing that there are certain people/behaviors that you are not okay with.. and being okay with that fact. Not trying to force a square peg into a round hole, just for the sake of trying to see if you can make it fit.

Going back to the food analogy; eating dairy if you're lactose-intolerant. You know you shouldn't or can't, but you do it anyway, just to *confirm* that you can't.

With dairy product it applies to all, since the basic ingredients are the same. People are individuals and just because a few behave badly shouldn't result in a adverse position against all those of that sun sign.

I have an inherent tendency to avoid people with certain personalities. Not necessarily because of past experiences, but because... something about them just doesn't *feel* right.

I don't really pay attention to signs (Sun, Moon or whatever). At least not until I get to know them better and I start getting curious. I don't use that information to discriminate, though.