Talk to him, send him this link, or just bounce?

Sad - he proposed last week, had a ring and everything. I finally met his entire family. They flew out here and he took me to meet them as a surprise. And this week, distant, craziness. I'm tired. It hurts. I am feeling this song right now. I wonder if he'd "get" it if I sent him the link:

Evan, it's so funny you mention that, because JUST TODAY, my boss mentioned she has a gf who knows the author of that books and his first wife. And I thought, "Hmm, a guy who wrote a book on relationships had a FIRST wife? Wow ..."

So you'd suggest me going up to him and saying "Hey, stop taking me for granted, fucktard"? Or words of that nature?

Yes, I may be a cusper, but I do consider myself half-Aries. But his water puts out my fire a little and fertilizes my earth. Um. So to speak. The thing is I KNOW he loves me. I KNOW he wants us to spend our lives together. So that's what makes this so damn frustrating - having that knowledge but still getting the deep freeze.

He just called and he was cranky. 😢 I hate that, because it touches off my anger. If you don't really want to talk, then don't effing call, jeeeezus! I really do want to kick his teeth in.

"They are good at turning around the situation and somehow make it look as if youre to blame for it all."

LOL This is true, but Ann, they really just need their space. I mean, you've got the ring, met his family...NONE of this would have taken place if he didn't care a lot about you. But opening up has made him feel vulnerable and they don't like that. It's all about the power issue. Backing off is a way to manipulate the control back to his side a bit. Once he feels secure in the relationship, this won't happen...unless he's pissed off, of course. 😉

Sounds like he got cold feet. My ex boyfriend proposed to me, gave me a ring, made me call all my friends and my parents and tell them that we were engaged. The next night my friends wanted to take us out to celebrate. They spent a ton of money on champagne and started talking about the wedding and I could see my boyfriend starting to sweat like crazy the more they talked. We got home that night and he tried to turn it all around and say that he hadn't really proposed. That the ring was more like a promise ring. He basically took it all back and I was so embarrassed and humiliated. I could have killed him. I was so hurt. We were together for 5 years, engaged 3 times, but never did get married. He was the type that would not leave me or let me leave him, but he would never fully commit. That was 12 years ago and he found me on facebook yesterday and apologized for all of the misery he put me through and how many regrets that he had. I was completely over him and had completely stopped thinking about him and now the whole relationship is all flooding back to me like it was just yesterday.

I think you should just take Elena's advice. He is freaked out and he just needs to get used to the idea and what he has just gotten himself into. Give him enough space to see that he has made the right decision.

You are too rigid for this man .... bend a little, and he might bend with you. Afterall, that's what he asked for from you a month ago, Annbarrett .. and you refused to compromise, and decided to remain solidly in your box of expectations.


He obviously loves you, according to this testimony of him proposing marriage to you, and according to your other threads ... where it is clearly obvious that he was trying to communicate to you, his feelings about the you and the relationship, in which you wouldn't hear because of this "box" you're stuck in.

btw .. that is a Taurus trait, and not an Aries. So, though you claim to be on the cusp and you are (4/20) .... you're acting like a Bull and not a Ram. A Ram is open-minded.

In any event ... you'd be wise to "hear" him when he talks, if you want resolution to your relationship issues, instead of trying to dissect what his issue is in here with a bunch of strangers ..... because, according to your other posts, Ann, this man has been trying to communicate with you all along.

any relationship requres compromise. i'm sure you'll work it out at the end just take it easy. can 2 of you just sit down and talk about the relationship in positive terms instead of the difficulties right away. everything is hard but there might be solutions on how to solve problems and maybe you should look for those solutions. just don't go crazy over the whole wedding thing. it's so silly in a long run. ppl break up over what flowers to use in the wedding. at least you're getting proposed. my scorp told me that he loves me and in love with me but it's not in his plans to get married now. not sure if he ever plans. let's just say it didn't make me feel special.