Taurus hartbroken ovr Scorpio

I am 28 and Taurus he is 27 and Scorpio. Been talkin for 3 years but I became his girl (wifey) about a year ago and things been up and down, mainly his son's mom making trouble and drama but she been cutting it short lately and me and him have been getting even closer.

Then a month ago his best friend killed himself. This dude was his boy, His deaht came as a shock and my man took it hard but didn't show it that much at first. At the funeral and the repast he didn't cry or nothing and comforted his boy's mom and sisters. He didn't talk about it to me much until last week where everything went so right and so wrong. He came over and said he'd had a couple 40s which is not his usual drink an he said he'd been thinking about DeQuantrell (his boy) and that it was fucked up and he didn't know why Quan ain't come to him with his problems and he said he'd been praying trying to find and answer as to why a young boy with his whole life ahead of him would take his life. He was crying and I was holding him telling him it would be okay, just rocking him and letting him cry. We had sex later and it was beautiful, he kept tlling me I better not ever leave him and that he loved me and he wanted us to get married next year and have a baby by then or before that. He said I was so pretty and he was lucky to have me and he kept asking me to promise I wouldn't leave him and I did, I told him "Baby I love you, not going nowhere."

The next morning is when he started acting kinda new. Like e was snapping at me and just picking on little shit. He said he was tired and wanted to go home. He didn't call me that night and when I called him, he didn't pick up. He didn't call me for like 2 days and finally when he picked up he said he needed to be alone, that he didn't like that I saw him loking like a pussy crying and weak and all that shit. I told him it wasn't like that but he said he ain't want to talk about it and hung up on me. He still ain't calling me and now I'm hearing he messing with his son's mom. I know he go over there to spend time with his son, but I been hearing that they going out togehter like a little family and I been crying all week over this shit, I can't believe I was there for him and he begging me to always be his girl then he just stops like that and tries to get back with that stupid-ass bitch. Is this how Scropios act? I know they are secretive. Why would he share all that then drop me for his hoe ex who cheated? I am very hurt and confused.

oilofole: you are hurt and confused and so is he unfortunately. losing a friend at such a young age really shakes your universe to it's core and you can't be relied upon to be emotionally stable during such a time. he needs time and space and you need to make sure you don't get hurt any more. scorpios really don't like outbursts of their deepest emotions but sometimes, in the case of a bereavement, it's just too much to keep inside. he probably does feel weakened in your eyes and it won't pacify him any to know that you understand cos you aren't the issue. he will probably want to stay away from you until he's stronger and you can best show your love for him by giving him that space. don't beat yourself up though because this is HIS shit to deal with and not yours. just be there when he needs you. don't approach him, let him approach you.

i wouldn't worry about the ex so much either because she will represent a 'comfort zone' to him as presumably she knew the friend that died too. they probably know eachother very well too and she will naturally understand him better than you right now - and that is NOT a criticism, i'm just trying to say what i think is in his mind.

things like this act as a wake-up call to people. he is re-evaluating his whole life right now probably and he may not come out of the experience the same person. it's impossible to predict.

all the best anyway.

"now I'm hearing he messing with his son's mom. I know he go over there to spend time with his son, but I been hearing that they going out togehter like a little family"

^^^^^^^ hear-say.

"and tries to get back with that stupid-ass bitch .. drop me for his hoe ex who cheated?"

^^^^^^^ you allow yourself to emotionally react to hear-say, as if it is a truth.



Both of you are experiencing the same thing here ... he feels weakened from his friend leaving him, and puts this on you to convince him you'll never leave so he won't continue to experience being abandoned .. you feel upset about his emotional disturbance, and put blame on it being because you speculate that it's about him wanting another woman.

^^^^^^ Mis-directed accountibility for hurt feelings.


He is in need right now ... to want to be with people to whom makes him feel he has a purpose isn't unreasonable, since his friend didn't come to him for help = he probably feels useless. To want to spend time with his child, where he can feel like he has a purpose, is what he needs to feel like he matters. I know he matters to you, and this is why you told him what he wanted to hear .. but, until he heals, he's going to need to hear this and know this from ALL people who are in need of him ..... and his child will be his main source of getting this feeling in him secured. Just because he wants and NEEDS to spend time with his child doesn't mean he's having a relationship with the child's mother again.

He needs time to heal from this ... and you're focusing on your own feelings, rather than trying to understand how distressing his are at the moment.

Let him heal .. believe truths, not rumors.

the P has spoken 🙂

also, if they are going out 'like a little family' then that is a good thing for the child is it not? that's how parents who have split should behave in front of their kids.

I understand what yall are saying and I am trying not to make this all about me. I know i can't really understand what it is he is going thru right now, but it's just that he has shut me out totally. He says he wants to be alone and then is with her. Yes, his son is involved but he is staying overt here. When he was with me, he would just have his son over at his moms house, but his sister says he been staying with his sons mother for about two weeks now and she has no reason to lie. She said his sons mom is looking at this as the thing that gets them back together because yes she knew Quan and they all grew up in the same neighborhood and she is probably as heatbroken as my man is, I can understand that, but it hurts me that he can shut me out like that. It's just how I feel.

It has to hurt .. if it didn't, you'd be dead.


Just try and put focus on something else, instead of letting this overwhelm your emotions to the point of being an emotional wreck, which will prompt you to ONLY consider the worse-case-scenerio for his need to be with family members at this time.

You know .. no matter what happens in his life, from the date of his son's birth forward .. this ex IS HIS family, regardless.

And you really don't know if what you said is the truth or not either because this ...

"his sister says he been staying with his sons mother for about two weeks now and she has no reason to lie. She said his sons mom is looking at this as the thing that gets them back together"

... is what has been interpreted by the sister = 3rd party assessment.


You don't know that to be true .. you know this is what the sister thinks. And perhaps the sister heard this from the ex's mouth, who knows .. but, again, this family time, from the ex's perspective and her motives ... are NOT coming from him, and what he believes.


My suggestion to you is to write him a long letter, and tell him how you feel about this. However, I wouldn't include anything about him being with his ex, and your opinion of her being a ho ... because then you won't accomplish giving him true insight into how you are feeling about him, and your relationship .. instead, you would put him in defensive mode, by creating an oppposition = will mis-direct your feelings about the relationship, and aim towards being jealous of another woman.


Seek the truth .. then react.

Being a Taurus, you cannot understand how intensely a Scorpio feels about trust ... nobody who is not a Scorpio can fully grasp this.

It is the ultimate .. their whole life-force that drives them.

So, you have to try to put into your head how devastating a blow it comes to a Scorpio when a dear friend doesn't TRUST him enough to come to him during a crisis.

I don't believe you have a clear understanding of how paramount this is to him that his friend killed himself .... because your focus is on your own feelings. I understand that you are hurting, and of course, you have feelings .... but, if you could fully and truly grasp the depth that this goes inside of a Scorpio .. then you would be able to start to comprehend how he NEEDS .. NEEDS .. NEEDS ... to secure a feeling of trust with all of his people.

Not just you.

This is why he went over the top the night before about you proclaiming to him and promising him that you won't leave him.

Now .. he NEEDS to have this security with all his people.

And if you are going to love a Scorpio .. for real, truly and honestly, and compeletely ... then you have to accept this of him, and let him gain his people back to him, so they will trust him, believe in him, and not forsake him.

What his friend did .. wasn't just a loss .. it was a betrayal of trust, Oil .. trust in him for this friend not seeking him out to help him.

This isn't a minor episode in his life .. it's huge.

Thank you P-angle I will do that. I am not good at writing letters though I will try because maybe I can get my feelings out on paper. I am praying hard, too. Yes my mans sis told me his sons mom told her that they were meant to be and that he was tripping over her being with another dude and that he needed to get over that and forgive her.

Roxanne I agree the child should not see his mom and dad arguing and this and that at all. I liked that my man was being a MAN and spending time with his son without any drama or mess. I always said he should spend as much time as he could with his son and also get along with his sons mom who was doing the hard job of raising him.

P-angel that was very deep what you said about trust. I want to print that out and read again and again. I do understand and then I don't maybe it's like you said cause I'm a taurus. I trust him so much, would nevr lie or cheat on him. He told me once he always would have love for his sons mom because she was the mother of his child but that when she cheated on him the trust was gone and without trust you can't have love. That stuck with me a lot and I do a lot to show that I can be trusted. I see what you mean that i na way by Quan taking his own life and not seeking out my man or any of his friends (it was a shock to everybody) my man sees that in a betrayla in some ways though he understand Quan must have been in so much pain to want to end it that way. I love him and I know he loves me just I want to help but I guess he just needs my understanding more.

I really apreciate peoples thoughts. I feel better now. 🙂

oilofole: sometimes the fact that a scorpio trusts someone is enough to make it harder to open up to them. it's hard to explain but for you to understand what he's going through, he has to explain his thoughts and feelings about his friend's death which are very confused at the moment but with his ex, he doesn't need to say a word.

it's like forcing something horrible from your mind while still keeping it in your heart.