this hole disappearing thing

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nc
@nc
13 Years

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Hello,

This is obviously my first post,

.. and mainly cause I see that this particular forum got plethora of scorpios around to hopefully help me shed the light on this disappearing phenomena you sometimes do??_ because I don't know what to make of it at the moment ??_ and I really need help, I don't know where else to turn 😢


The backstory (I'll make it short lol)-

I've been dating a scorpio for almost a year and a half now. I love him more then I have ever loved anyone.
It's been the best and most perfect year and a half of my life.
We got along great. So great, that the hole time there is been no arguments or disagreements at all??_ which, I never thought is even possible? I mean, of cause we have a difference of opinions at times, but we just agree to disagree?

We have seen each other 2-3 times a week this hole time, because we both work a lot, and while I can't get enough of him, I know that he/we both need space here and there to get everything done through the week. But we text or talk through the day too as well.

So yeah, everything been great??_ until little over a week ago??_ well, I sensed things go a bit odd about two weeks ago, and then 9 days ago he just "disappeared" in the sense that he is avoiding talking to me or seeing me O_o

He did sent a text saying that he wasn't doing well, and that he needs time to himself??_

And now it's been excruciating 9 days of silence 😢

I replied back, saying that I understand that he needs space, but I just want make sure that it's not something I did (or didn't do)

but he never replied??_

I'm going crazy here

I don't know what to make of it, and what to do about it 😢

I am very patient person in most aspects of life, but it literally tearing me apart not knowing if I'm the reason he is avoiding me or it's just his inner scorpio that keeps him away at the moment
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Rays Heart
@Rays Heart
17 Years1,000+ Posts

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I really doubt that it's about you, based on your post. He's probably going through changes on the inside and the energy can be confusing or even overwhelming. Scorpios can be very protective of their love ones and they'll protect you even from themselves, if they feel that the moment can get the best of them and hurt you in the process.

What makes you believe that it has to do with you? Anything out of the ordinary happened recently?
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nc
@nc
13 Years

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Posted by xxnightbynight
Posted by BigGirlPanties
*sigh*


Sorry you're hurting. I don't have the energy just now to share and besides Im not a scorp. But others will be along...in the mean time, search the threads here about scorpio disappearing. Its NOT about you....it is about him.

Hang in there....

xx



agreed. - The Scorp I've been dealing with disappears frequently and needs time to himself. - With Scorp in my moon I can understand this. - It's a "recharge" of batteries if you must. - Also I grew up with a Scorpio dad and he was always a loner. - He worked from home, but his office was always closed and he just preferred alone time. He also stayed up late on his computer, or fixing things around the house... this was all "his time" to himself. - He still does these things, I just no longer live with my parents so I don't see it anymore.

Alas, I'm a novice when it comes to all this... you're more of a veteran. You've been dating your guy for over a year. - That's way longer than me. - I suppose your guy just didn't have enough time to himself. How old are you, and he?? Maybe he's going through a growth period. - We all need time apart from people in order to understand OUR motives, and who WE are becoming as well. - Detachment is sometimes needed... and Scorpios are better at this than others.
click to expand





Thank you both for your replies!

Well, I'm 35 and he is going to be 38 this year

I know, what's causing this.
He just started a new job/career and it's not as fruitful as it should be and it will take time to get better.
Also, we now have completely opposite schedules, because of it.
Added by the frustration of another project he is putting all his effort into for it to succeed as well (this he doesn't say much about, but I just know it)
Plus, he got a bad flu right now for the past 3 days (I'm sure it's from exhaustion he is putting himself through)

I'm no stranger to scorpios, my mom is one, and few of my friends of many years??_ and this is different, the relationship thing I think

And, I'm afraid to loose him due to all this things piling up 😢

I don't want to come off as a needy one at all, but at the same time I can't just ignore it all, and pretend like nothing is going on and all peachy, because obviously it would not be true at all.

He got a very
Profile picture of nc
nc
@nc
13 Years

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Posted by Rays Heart
I really doubt that it's about you, based on your post. He's probably going through changes on the inside and the energy can be confusing or even overwhelming. Scorpios can be very protective of their love ones and they'll protect you even from themselves, if they feel that the moment can get the best of them and hurt you in the process.

What makes you believe that it has to do with you? Anything out of the ordinary happened recently?



I hope my post above might answer some of that

My sense tells me that it's probably exactly what's happening.
But at the same time, my other sense is questioning, why would he not reply back all this days to at least assure me that it's not me? And that's what concerns me the most??_ I mean, he has to know that that hurt? Or does he?

And the part of me just really wants to be there??_

And no between us nothing out of ordinary happened, but too much happening (or not happening) on his end
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nc
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13 Years

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Posted by xxnightbynight
what is your sign, love? - you sound very ... unsure of yourself.



I am a gemini.
And I am very sure of myself.

I'm not the most typical one there is though or as described in that sign usually , but some traits are there. Traits that some might see as "unsure" are merely me taking apart every possibility of everything I can think of pertaining to any situation at hand.
By "not typical" I mean, that I am mostly a loner, with a very small handful of friends I know I can trust. I keep most things to myself. I don't like big crowds. I concentrate on projects one at the time, and I finish each one of them. I work in artistic field, that requires a lot of patience on both ends - people and time and in life in general. And I have been told by many people I have a lot of it. And I know I have. I am very loyal in every way and sense to my bf and to people I care about. I don't flirt with others. And I know that he doesn't have any doubts in that department what so ever. I hide nothing from him. But just as any gemini I am not an open book.


I'm just not sure of the hole scorpio thing, and this moods as this is a hole other whirl pool I'm not used to.

And the gemini in me, wants to "fix things" I guess
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Rays Heart
@Rays Heart
17 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by nc
Posted by Rays Heart
... he should get more comfortable with letting you in during tough times. I'm very familiar to his position in my own life and it's quite something to go through...



This!

He is not comfortable yet in letting me in to see him during tough times thing??_ sigh

click to expand




Exactly and limited his conversation with you not wanting to engage into a conversation that will bring you in.
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nc
@nc
13 Years

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Posted by xxnightbynight
most women want to fix men... no matter what their sign. it's in our dna :-0

hehee! No, I don't want to fix him at all, I love him just as is ??_specially, since I believe that none of us can't fix somebody else unless they themselves want to



Umm, on a very different subject

How does one know in which moon they are? ??_I'm clueless here, I see those references here and there, and all I know I'm a gemini??_ and there is no moon attached lol

Posted by xxnightbynight
With Scorp in my moon I can understand this
click to expand

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nc
@nc
13 Years

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Posted by xxnightbynight
Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like fix him, as in he's broken... or you're un-happy with the way he is as a person. - I don't have a way with words when it comes to explaining what I mean. - But that isn't what I meant at all. lol

You can look at your full natal chart. There are different sites. http://alabe.com/freechart/



No, no I didn't take it as that, I knew what you meant!

And thank you for the link! that was educational 🙂




Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
i haven't read the thread yet but i will. i just wanted to say....it's WHOLE...not HOLE. sorry. sounds like people disappear into holes...like in alice in wonderland, lol.

anyway....reading now.
click to expand





Thank you for correcting/explanation!
English is not my first language, so here and there I place approximate words into abstract places lol
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nc
@nc
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 9 · Topics: 1
Posted by IntriguedScorp
I don't think this has anything to do with you at all--unless you are not telling us something. However, I don't know about the other Scorps but I have found myself in a situation where I disappeared (avoided) for a day or two too long and then I compounded my guilt because I knew I should've made contact sooner which then made me avoid longer because now I didn't know how to get back in without a)apologizing --but for what and how? or b)having to post-rationalize which felt a little like lying.

It can be a vicious cycle.




There is really not much more to the detail here.

And it is a very good point, and I am taking it into consideration for sure so that he doesn't feels that way later for too long. And so I have sent couple of messages here and there (to which there's been no replies), just to let him know that I'm here for him and that I love him??_ and I also made a quick stop to drop of some chicken soup at his house as soon as I learned that he had a cold.

So at this point I think I made enough points to leave the open door I think? I almost feel that any more than this would be too much also.

Which leaves me with just waiting from here on??_


Thank you everyone for your replies, it did helped me a lot so far!