Why do the things my scorp does scream of cheating

We live together but keep our money seperate. He makes killer money! However, he is always bouncing his checking account and getting disconnection notices. I've asked other people about this and they all tell me either he has a drug habit or another woman. We live together too. I know he don't do drugs. But now I'm starting to believe all these things people tell me and all signs say he's leading a double life.

Then we almost broke up because we were arguing a lot and he changed his mind a day later saying he felt guilty about trying to leave me. Does he stay with me out of guilt? I'm so lost.

Can anyone here help me? I need advice...

Posted by ellessque
I've asked other people about this and they all tell me either he has a drug habit or another woman.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Why would you ask "other people"?

Why wouldn't you ask him directly?

The worst thing for any relationship is allowing other people to be in it with you.

I do ask him, he says he's not sure why his bank account bounces everything and that he is paying the bills, and he can't understand why they send him disconnect notices. He brings home over $ 900 per week after taxes. So I do the math in my head and it makes no sense to me. And the reason I asked for advice is we do keep our money seperate and I'm tryin not to be a control freak in the relationship. The last time I was with someone, I was in charge of paying for the bills so I knew exactly where it all went.

You are right I should not involve anyone in my business. But I dont want to ruin this one and need advice

that does sound a lot like him, waiting until the last second. The lights got shut off once already. So it cost him an extra $ 75 to turn them off. We are suppose to be buying a house and I dont think that will happen. We were suppose to go to Mexico with our friends but he could not come up with his half. And had to cancel another planned trip. So in a sense, it is dipping into my money because we can't do the things we planned because of him.

well the other things that concern me is he goes out with the guys he works with, the work, they drink, and who knows what else. We talk just before he goes out and then sometimes I can't get a hold of him until noon the next day. He says he is just sleeping. he doesn't sleep like that when he is home with me.

I dont know, maybe I'm blowing it way out of proportion, and elle is right, I need to leave people out of it. People also yell me how complicated scorpios are too. He played a few games at first but now seems normal haha

Posted by MellyMel
*We* might not be able to do the things you both planned, but *you* can do the things you both planned.. without him. He might re-evaluate the state of his finances after being left home once or twice.

It is absolutely his decision when and how to spend his money. Just as it is absolutely your decision on when and how to spend yours. You canceling trips and losing your money just because he can't come up with his is just going to build resentment, IMO.

Thats the part I fear, resentment. I'm already building it. And you know what, that is great advice! I'll go somewhere without him one time. It will kill me as I love doing things with him, we have so much fun! But if that will put the fire under him to see even though we keep our money seperate, we are a team.

In the mean time, as long as the lights stay on...I'll try my hardest to not worry about it.

Posted by ellessque
I'm going to be extremely honest with you.....

It seems to me you are looking for excuses because you are unhappy with him and his actions.

Being unhappy is okay to admit to being, but at some point you need to do something about it instead of creating this huge list of all the things he does wrong.

If I were living with someone that I had a discussion with about our future and they were not being responsible and working towards that vision, I would be unhappy too.

I would definately start to evaluate if this is what I really need.

The vacation plans alone would annoy the fuck out of me so much so, that I probably would have went to Mexico by myself.

Perhaps you need to look within to see if this relationship is really fulfilling your needs or if you are just simply buying time with him simply because he's there and it's gotten comfortable.

thank you for being brutaly honest with me. I think I am unhappy. I think him being gone so much is hard on me. I already go to alot of things alone and without him, so when the stuff we plan we can't do I get even more sad. I do want to be with him. He is my best friend. I guess i need to figure out how to occpy myself and be happy while he is away at work and not be like this