listen to him.
Why won't he take me out!?
1. Sounds like he's using that line as an excuse. If he's never experienced you saying/doing certain things around other guys in public, then he has no real logical basis for assuming something that's never been done/doesn't exist.
2. He may not want to be seen with you in public. There could be 100 reasons why being with you in public might bother him (he's cheating, he's not yet ready to publicly acknowledge that he's taken, he has something to hide, etc.) I'd be willing to bet that HE'S the 1 whose really engaging in unappropriate behavior behind closed doors & just using that line as a cop out to cover up for what HE'S really doing when he's out in public.
3. He's very insecure & has no shame in it. He doesn't trust your judgement around males. He figures that if he can keep you in the house & away from the male population, he'll feel better & his sense of security or control over you won't be so threatened.
4. He may be a different person when he's out with his boys & if him being "different" involves him engaging in inappropriate behavior OR him doing something that you would NOT be ok with persay you were around, it's alot safer for him to prevent you from seeing "that side" of him
5. He's controlling
6. He's controlling
7. Did I mention he's insecure & controlling?!?
2. He may not want to be seen with you in public. There could be 100 reasons why being with you in public might bother him (he's cheating, he's not yet ready to publicly acknowledge that he's taken, he has something to hide, etc.) I'd be willing to bet that HE'S the 1 whose really engaging in unappropriate behavior behind closed doors & just using that line as a cop out to cover up for what HE'S really doing when he's out in public.
3. He's very insecure & has no shame in it. He doesn't trust your judgement around males. He figures that if he can keep you in the house & away from the male population, he'll feel better & his sense of security or control over you won't be so threatened.
4. He may be a different person when he's out with his boys & if him being "different" involves him engaging in inappropriate behavior OR him doing something that you would NOT be ok with persay you were around, it's alot safer for him to prevent you from seeing "that side" of him
5. He's controlling
6. He's controlling
7. Did I mention he's insecure & controlling?!?
Posted by SassyVirgo
Stop asking him to take you out and go out with your friends instead. This will make him wonder if have changed your focus and he will start asking you out.
OBVIOUSLY you've never dated a Scorpio.
He would not ask her out if she did that;
THROW her out - yes
FOLLOW her out - yes
i say listen to him because of exactly what Kyrsennee wrote. theyre insecure and controlling. youll go out with him and his friends. you will be overly friendly trying to make a good impression or whatever his crazy ass mind comes up with. he may or may not show his anger and insecurity. youll be lucky if he does. youll be lucky if he "checks" you in public. youll have a clue in whats about to come next. hell on earth.
he will get you back for your "friendliness" and any of his friends(yes, his own friends are not immune to his sting). he wont bring any more people around you (yes, scorpios are even worried about girl on girl...anybody who takes away your attention from him).
and he will not let go of it.
OR
your not the girlfriend type and not worthy to be taken out with his friends.
**lets hope its the first one. but either way you lose. dont sweat it. go out with your friends, have your own social life. the more fun you have, the more he will be interested in hanging out with you.
he will get you back for your "friendliness" and any of his friends(yes, his own friends are not immune to his sting). he wont bring any more people around you (yes, scorpios are even worried about girl on girl...anybody who takes away your attention from him).
and he will not let go of it.
OR
your not the girlfriend type and not worthy to be taken out with his friends.
**lets hope its the first one. but either way you lose. dont sweat it. go out with your friends, have your own social life. the more fun you have, the more he will be interested in hanging out with you.
Posted by SassyVirgoPosted by scorpiopicsPosted by SassyVirgo
Stop asking him to take you out and go out with your friends instead. This will make him wonder if have changed your focus and he will start asking you out.
OBVIOUSLY you've never dated a Scorpio.
He would not ask her out if she did that;
THROW her out - yes
FOLLOW her out - yes
I'm currently dating a Scorpio and feeding him attention DOES NOT work.click to expand
especially from a virgo. gees louise. virgos can CONSUME people, including scorpios. then you wonder why scorpios grow distant and uninterested. but virgos will always be somewhat "safe" to a scorpio. kinda like home base.
Posted by fatal1234
... asked if I could go out with him and his friends
... replied saying that I'm to nice to guys.
... I asked him if he meant I was easy
... if a guy came up to talk to me
... I maybe nice but I know how to say no.
... He said giving them the time to even say no ...
... He didn't know if he would be cool with that.
... an aqua girl who enjoys a good time.
The answer is right there ^^^^^^
It's not about being controlling ... that is always Krys counsel because she has trust and entitlment issues that she projects.
It's not a matter of whether you can say 'no' to a come-on or not ... it's the matter of him not liking the getting here .... the, you giving them the time to get to a 'no'
"He said giving them the time to even say no" ...
A lot of girls flirt, and think they are just being nice ... but, from the guys perspective, your very actions lead them to think they are being signalled to hit on you.
For the fact that you are able to say "no" isn't what he means ... he's talking about you being nice to the guys in such a way that the guys believe you are signallling to them for them to hit on you.
Posted by fatal1234
I would understand if I showed past behavior that made him un easy but we have NEVER gone out together. It's always just me and him doing something or at his place with his close friends.
Others have mis-read this to mean that he hasn't witnessed any interaction with you and his friends .. let me quote a sentence again, in part .....
" .... at his place with his close friends"
At his place you were referencing with his close friends .. the first part of your sentence doesn't say that at all. It says just you and him doing something.
" ... just me and him doing something ..."
You have led people in here to believe falsely according to what you actually wrote, or perhaps they mis-read ... he has seen how you interact with people = men.
And when asked about this, he says ..... "giving them the time to even say no" ...
In other words .. you give men signals that you are trying to get them to ask you. And though he can handle it at home, in a club, he is saying he couldn't handle that. He didn't say no to you, he explained to you that he can't handle it, and tried to tell you the exact reason why, in which you never got. Apparantly nobody in here did either.
"He didn't know if he would be cool with that" ... is what you said, he said.
What should you do?
Listen ... because you apparantly never comprehended what he said to you.
Then second, once you let the meaning of what he told you completely sink in, you should stop flirting with his friends. You should stop the being nice, as you call it, to the point of giving them hints to even ask you, for you to say "no".
Once he sees you can talk to men without giving those implications ... maybe he will be cool with going to bars with you.
Listen ... because you apparantly never comprehended what he said to you.
Then second, once you let the meaning of what he told you completely sink in, you should stop flirting with his friends. You should stop the being nice, as you call it, to the point of giving them hints to even ask you, for you to say "no".
Once he sees you can talk to men without giving those implications ... maybe he will be cool with going to bars with you.
your devotion can be consuming
I have to add that something isn't on the up and up. If a Scorp likes you, they want to tell the world about you, show you off to all their friends. Doesn't sound like this Mr. Scorp.
Posted by SassyVirgo
We are the one that are usually devoted and being taken granted for.
What a crock of shit ... you aren't taken for granted because you're a Virgo. If it happens then it's because you haven't the balls to say "no".
I think I remember answering this post on the relationships board. Maybe not. In any case, Fatal, do you two go out anywhere? Forget about with friends. Do you two go on dates; dinner, movies, museums, amusement parks? Anything?
If the answer to the above is yes, I would say that he either does have some issues with control and being insecure or somehow, some way you have demonstrated behavior or have said comments that have given him the perception that you would sit and and listen to some guys whole song and dance before saying "no". For example, when a woman is not interested in a man, there are some women who are "nice" and will entertain the man's advances before saying no. If only for 2 minutes, she will sit there and listen. Other women, will give a look that tells the man off the bat, "dont think about it." Or, they will say something that cuts his whole rap to a close almost immediately. Maybe he thinks your the first kind of woman.
If he does not want to go anywhere with you at all, then I would think that something is seriously wrong and maybe he is not as commited or into the relationship as you are. Men by nature like to take the women out and allow family and friends to meet them unless they have a dysfunctional family or something. Lol. Otherwise, even homebodies will want folks to know you're his woman. He might not take you out a lot but he definitely would not be dead set against it.
Let's not forget, scorps like to show off to an extent. In most cases, if they have something they are proud of and not trying to hide, others will know about. Lol.
If the answer to the above is yes, I would say that he either does have some issues with control and being insecure or somehow, some way you have demonstrated behavior or have said comments that have given him the perception that you would sit and and listen to some guys whole song and dance before saying "no". For example, when a woman is not interested in a man, there are some women who are "nice" and will entertain the man's advances before saying no. If only for 2 minutes, she will sit there and listen. Other women, will give a look that tells the man off the bat, "dont think about it." Or, they will say something that cuts his whole rap to a close almost immediately. Maybe he thinks your the first kind of woman.
If he does not want to go anywhere with you at all, then I would think that something is seriously wrong and maybe he is not as commited or into the relationship as you are. Men by nature like to take the women out and allow family and friends to meet them unless they have a dysfunctional family or something. Lol. Otherwise, even homebodies will want folks to know you're his woman. He might not take you out a lot but he definitely would not be dead set against it.
Let's not forget, scorps like to show off to an extent. In most cases, if they have something they are proud of and not trying to hide, others will know about. Lol.
Posted by SassyVirgoPosted by P-AngelPosted by SassyVirgo
We are the one that are usually devoted and being taken granted for.
What a crock of shit ... you aren't taken for granted because you're a Virgo. If it happens then it's because you haven't the balls to say "no".
I say no to things that I DON'T want to do. I do nice things for him because I want to, not because he demanded.
Can I ask you a questions? You diss Virgo a lot on the Virgo board and on some of my previous post. If you really dislike Virgo that much, how can you be married to one? Cos you don't have the balls to say "divorce"?click to expand
Don't confuse being real, and honest with dislike .. which most seems to common of your kind. And you will obviously associate that with disliking you because of being a Virgo.
It seems that Virgo's are incapable of looking to where one is pointing, and can only focus on the finger.
Look at this statement in here, your answer to this is by agreeing with me, and not being able to even comprehend what you're saying. That is the truth of it .. if you think that speaking the truth is dissing you, then perhaps you need to stop looking at my finger and start looking to where I'm pointing.
Note: Thank you, Scorpio .. you know who you are.
Posted by SassyVirgo
We are the one that are usually devoted and being taken granted for.
You say that ^^^^^^^ and I respond by saying the below, which is the truth. A person isn't being taken for granted if they can't tell a person "no".
Posted by P-Angel
What a crock of shit ... you aren't taken for granted because you're a Virgo. If it happens then it's because you haven't the balls to say "no".
And this is your answer?
If you want to do it, then the other isn't taking you for anything that is at their own advantage.
Posted by SassyVirgo
I say no to things that I DON'T want to do. I do nice things for him because I want to, not because he demanded.
click to expand
If you do nice things for a person then you can't say they take you for granted when it's your choice to do it.
It's a very simple concept. I am pointing this out to you ... so, what are you going to do?
Look at my finger?
I've been married to a Virgo for 28 years, happily.
And guess what? He actually gets the difference between talking about a characteristic, and being a characteristic.
Kudos to me for picking someone who is consciously aware.
And guess what? He actually gets the difference between talking about a characteristic, and being a characteristic.
Kudos to me for picking someone who is consciously aware.
Posted by SassyVirgo
We are the one that are usually devoted and being taken granted for.
You can pretty much be guaranteed that anytime you talk bullshit, like the above, I'm going to tell you you're full of shit.
And second, I'm not the one who associated it with Virgo first, you are .... when you said 'we', to mean Virgo people, generally speaking.
When people say shit like that, they make fools out of themselves .... because if you're going to talk about Virgos, generally, then you can't bitch because someone else does.
If I have something to say to a person, then I will no matter what sign they are ... but, Virgo's and Geminis take things so personally, that they think it's only them. Doens't matter who you are, if I have something to say I will.
If you wnat to take that personally, then go right ahead ...
..... suffer as you wish, because you will regardless.
Posted by SassyVirgo
We are the one that are usually devoted and being taken granted for.
Just because someone tells you the truth, doens't mean they hate ... you are always going to find yourself feeling abused if you cannot handle honesty.
And btw, you aren't devoted, by virtue of the second half of your sentence ... because with great devotion, requires great sacrifice ... and if you feel taken for granted, then you never meant to sacrifice, you only meant to martyr.
Have a good life and I hope one day you find the wisdom to actually get it
fatal, it's not up to him. Take your power back. This guy is insecure. You may think this is endearing, but unless you know how to handle this, you will be the one with regrets.
Lol.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by fatal1234
I would understand if I showed past behavior that made him un easy but we have NEVER gone out together. It's always just me and him doing something or at his place with his close friends.
In other words .. you give men signals that you are trying to get them to ask you. And though he can handle it at home, in a club, he is saying he couldn't handle that. He didn't say no to you, he explained to you that he can't handle it, and tried to tell you the exact reason why, in which you never got. Apparantly nobody in here did either.
"He didn't know if he would be cool with that" ... is what you said, he said.click to expand
I see this too ^^^^...he doesn't want to get into a position where he might have to defend your honor, maybe even with a good friend. I went out on a date last year with a man,and after our date, he said, "You are dangerous." And I said "why?". He responded, "Because I see how men react to you, they watch you all the time." I was floored. He said I am the kind of woman that trouble starts over. Now I did not get offended by his statement. But it made me think. Do I unintentionally smile or walk in a way that men think I am "signalling"? Who knows. But this is what he means. So I would be happy with how things are for now.
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