Any1 crave a person from the past only sometimes?

Hi,
I am taurus sun aquarius moon - not very clingy or attached to anyone but during certain days or weeks, I almost crave a certain someone from the past (like you would crave food after not eating for e.g 18 hours) and I just feel so down and full of regrets, lack of closure and almost not being able to breathe but at other times, I think about the person e.g. if they come up on my social media updates and I feel absolutely no care at all - like a "plenty more fish in the sea" mentality but other times, I just feel like a physical pain almost..... it shifts dramatically from having absolutely no care (no hate and no affection) about this particular person to caring way too much and feeling teary... 😢 & no particular triggers that affect this shift.

It's only that 1 person that I've ever thought of like that - never had anyone before or after him with that much effect on me - ever! I literally feel the same satisfaction talking to a new friend I just met compared to one that I've known 5 yrs e.g. people are very replaceable.. but with this particular person, it often pains a lot! :/

Posted by beautifuldiaster
I often indulge in nostalgic thoughts but I also wonder of they are even healthy.


Let's cut to the chase shall we? How long has it been since you two broke up?

Thank you for your post. That's comforting to know.. Well, it was never anything hugely "official" but I'm never one to get bothered or insecure about labels.. but yeah haven't had any contact for exactly 1 year and 1 month now...

😢
😢
😢

Posted by beautifuldiaster
Why do you choose the Taurus forum?

Because my sun sign is a taurus.. mostly, I feel I relate more to my aquarius moon and aries venus but definitely more taurus-y with regards to this.

Oh yeah.. definitely. I have never had anyone else have this effect on me either. Usually if someone cuts ties with me, aka a friend or my first ex I am like hmm.. okay bye. Even if they have been close to me for years. But me (Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon) have particular issues with my Ex. I still love him dearly, and sometimes I can put him out of my mind, but in reality he is still there, and I will deeply miss him. I even said I would start dating other people to him, because he said he didnt want me in his life anymore for no reason, but I never did see anyone else. I still -save- myself for him, even if its unhealthy I intend to do it.. And hopefully things fall back into place. Im not sure if its right, surely not, to think this way. But its just how it is for me.

I feel your pain. :/ I still break down. It has been almost 2 months since the break up.

My last break up I was over almost instantly. I never thought I could love someone so much. bah.

Sorry if my thoughts came off fuzzy. 😆 I dont see my ex on social media or anything though, that would be really hard. We haven't really been in contact much at all. Only to exchange things that were necessary, and I haven't seen him since beginning of July.

Do you want to like meet with that person again? :/

Its so hard having someone out of your life that was so valuable to you. 😢

Posted by whitedream
Sorry if my thoughts came off fuzzy. 😆 I dont see my ex on social media or anything though, that would be really hard. We haven't really been in contact much at all. Only to exchange things that were necessary, and I haven't seen him since beginning of July.

Do you want to like meet with that person again? :/

Its so hard having someone out of your life that was so valuable to you. 😢

Hi, thank you very much for your posts. You know, reading that, I can totally relate... it's even stranger because people tell me I'm like completely driven by logic and intellect (like the least emotional/romantic person in the world) for most matters except for this one thing where I just turn into a completely different person..

Mine was kinda like your situation regarding the ending too.. all fine for months and then it was LDR - which was still fine and then, BAM - cut off. He's done that before and come back pretending like nothing had happened (and I did not get annoyed at him for that as I was happy/relieved to have another chance at it).. it's even worse as we've never ever argued so there's basically zero closure.. although, I strongly resemble his ex (both physically and otherwise) and I did feel massively like I was his rebound at some points but still, so not fair... he has overly emotional and attached to many of his exes (even when he's ended things with them and he often shifts the blame on his exes for the breakups (bad sign, I know) or goes completely the other way and pities himself like an 8 year old kid..!

He was so in touch with his emotions, he would literally blush whenever he was with me, despite being very experienced with females in that way but in answer to your question, even though I crave the happiness of that connection, I'd really feel very sick and uncomfortable to meet him and I dread the possibility of ever bumping into him in the street or something... (although, I also dread the prospect of him potentially publicising new loves on social media - although, he never did with me and hasn't done so far with anyone else)..

Also, I noticed two other girls who were very "close to him" around that time have either deleted him or he's deleted them both from his Facebook so this is probably not the first time he's done this..


and you? Any clues as to why yours suddenly left? & judging by yo

Posted by beautifuldiaster

Posted by aj123

Posted by beautifuldiaster
I often indulge in nostalgic thoughts but I also wonder of they are even healthy.


Let's cut to the chase shall we? How long has it been since you two broke up?

Thank you for your post. That's comforting to know.. Well, it was never anything hugely "official" but I'm never one to get bothered or insecure about labels.. but yeah haven't had any contact for exactly 1 year and 1 month now...

😢
😢
😢

It's been over two years for me.

It happens though. Why do you ask though? Are you thinking of reaching out? Do you want to move on?

click to expand

Thanks for the reply - he's always online so it seems so tempting to ask him WHY he suddenly stopped bothering esp. as it's free to msg people online so not even a cost issue from his end.. but fortunately, I always manage to stop myself from contacting him.. and yeah, it'd be so good if I finally get over him fully (i.e. have the "couldn't care less" mentality about him at all times - not just sometimes).. but most people barely touch the surface in terms of connection but with him = straight to the heart!!

Posted by beautifuldiaster
If it is of any constellation, I did try to reach out and with no response, many times.

I am glad though in a way.




We never get closure. It's a myth. It's something in our minds we just decide to do. It's about mental dexterity. And of course, time heals all... I say that and two years later here I am talking to you about it lol.

But instead you can view it as a blessing and not a curse.

You opened yourself up and allowed yourself to feel something. Everyone is so concerned with being prideful we forget to feel anything. We text instead of call, we hide instead of show up.


You are deserving and worthy of love and it will come again.

Thank you - the worst thing is the no closure.. if it was a situation where the couple constantly argue and have huge disagreements, it would make sense to separate but here, the worst thing is - no arguments, no problems, so I have no "bad times" to relate to him - only negative things are the things he has done behind my back or before he met me which he failed to mention - he has never ever been angry at me in person.. so no bad memories of him to dilute the good ones 😢 It's not even about faithfulness - I never ever felt jealous about him having many close female friends nor pressured for commitment..ever. I never wanted commitment but i never wanted this abrupt end with no real explanation either..partly the friendship aspect I also miss 😢

Why does it even have to be "all or nothing"? I wanted something causal but for longer rather than an intense period of too much affection and then ice cold nothing.

Posted by aj123
Hi,
I am taurus sun aquarius moon - not very clingy or attached to anyone but during certain days or weeks, I almost crave a certain someone from the past (like you would crave food after not eating for e.g 18 hours) and I just feel so down and full of regrets, lack of closure and almost not being able to breathe but at other times, I think about the person e.g. if they come up on my social media updates and I feel absolutely no care at all - like a "plenty more fish in the sea" mentality but other times, I just feel like a physical pain almost..... it shifts dramatically from having absolutely no care (no hate and no affection) about this particular person to caring way too much and feeling teary... 😢 & no particular triggers that affect this shift.

It's only that 1 person that I've ever thought of like that - never had anyone before or after him with that much effect on me - ever! I literally feel the same satisfaction talking to a new friend I just met compared to one that I've known 5 yrs e.g. people are very replaceable.. but with this particular person, it often pains a lot! :/

Yes! I have the same moon yay lol but yes. I'm experiencing that now. I want to reach out but I wint. They ended things and request not to be contacted but he still look at my snapchat -_-

Venus retrograde my dear!!

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/07/venus-retrograde-2015-relationship-karma-goes-full-frontal/

I am also rather cold hearted when it comes to these things. Usually when you have pushed all the buttons there are with me thats just it. And if you keep hurting me I just feel like there isn't anything else I can do and things go numb. Im rather loving person, but when it comes to actual relationships (not friends) I am quite callus. I put up a wall and won't let myself feel things for them. This guy managed to get through somehow lol.

This guy hurt me and I hurt him often. We always fell back together, and things just felt, right, amazing. I have never had that connection with someone. It was strong and intense and I still love him. He's a sagittarius. :/ What is your ex?

Sounds like you had a good chance to rekindle things in the future. Tbh. Especially since you never fought. My ex sounds a lot like yours. 😆 he didnt stay with nearly any as long as me. We were together almost 3 years, and his previous relationships he was in were only 1-2 months or so. How long were you together total? Has he tried contacting you or vice versa?

My ex only writes to `pay a bill` we both owe.. and wants to meet up for that. I am scared to see him because i know it will hurt me to see him and know he doesn't care. My ex publicized our relationship online often, but toward the end not so much. Sadly things fell apart. Do you want your ex back in the future? are you on good terms? :/

I couldn't read the rest of your message.

My ex `left` because he got jealous IMO. I was making friends and he became insecure. Trying to get more `attention` by `making me jealous.` I didnt respond. He got mad and said it wasn't working out for him, that he thought `I didnt want what he had to offer`. It killed me, but I agreed that he was making the right choice. Ive gone against him in the past and it just made things worse. So I left him alone. Gave him space. Waited for him to come back and yeah.. he didnt..Idk. Ironically I am sure he `assumed` I was cheating. But I never have. I have only been with one guy, and that is and was him.

I still want it to be that -one- guy. He was checking my social media often until a couple of weeks ago. But then I broke down, called, told him I missed him after seeing him checking in on me often. He told me he didnt want me in his life anymore, and that he was over everything. It was cold and harsh, he often says harsh things when he's mad. I figured that was it.. and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Then he deleted me off social media, and told me not to call or write him anymore. So I didnt. I couldn't believe it. 😭

I still can't. He said `I couldn't be friends` when every time he said its over, he always makes moves, is super happy to call me his `girlfriend`, and always begins the relationship over when he sees me. Last time we hung out and watched a movie after we broke up. And he grabbed my arm and pulled me to lay my head on his chest. Thats what kind of guy he is. Super sweet and loving..sigh. None of it adds up however you look at it. Checking in on me all that time, constantly. Then saying you want me out of your life? What even.

I tend to have a few nostalgic moments. But, they're always fleeting moments.

It never sticks for a certain period of time.

Life is about creating new memories and new experiences....and meeting new faces.

LMAO.

Blame it on the air placements (Aqua Rising, Gemini Moon).

Posted by bella_fish
Venus retrograde my dear!!

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/07/venus-retrograde-2015-relationship-karma-goes-full-frontal/

Yeah I heard about that - definitely has something to do with it, I suspect. Thanks for the link.

Posted by MagicPowas
Yes, this happens. It's called a twin flame. It's natural. Why don't you reach out. Bonds like that are not meant to be broken. You will realize this if you haven't already (this person will follow you into your next lifetime).

Thanks for the post. Haha that sounds very far fetched but I guess a lot of astrology is - but surely if a person has many lost loves, would they all follow them into the next lifetime?

Posted by Redbull
Not crave but there is that one situation from the past. Cut all contact many years ago I dont do social media or anything. Im in the not caring phase now but for a few months I was considering maybe going out of my way to "make peace" that would be the extent of it as anything else was ruined. But Im moving out of town school just started there and I only have foward concerns on my mind now I think i just needed that. I just put the peace vibes out into the universe and realized its not meant to go backwards and I probably dont want to go out of my way uncovering things when life is going good as it is.So I'll just move on. But I guess if you live long enough youll maybe run into one of these situations. Im an Aquarius moon too.

Thank you for the post. Yeah the "make peace" aspect of it is another reason but I would never want to have a formal, cliche exchange of words... none of that "it's me not you" "right person wrong time" and so on.. no contact would be better than any of that stuff.

Cool to see other aquarius moons with taurus sun on the forum :-)

Posted by whitedream
I couldn't read the rest of your message.

My ex `left` because he got jealous IMO. I was making friends and he became insecure. Trying to get more `attention` by `making me jealous.` I didnt respond. He got mad and said it wasn't working out for him, that he thought `I didnt want what he had to offer`. It killed me, but I agreed that he was making the right choice. Ive gone against him in the past and it just made things worse. So I left him alone. Gave him space. Waited for him to come back and yeah.. he didnt..Idk. Ironically I am sure he `assumed` I was cheating. But I never have. I have only been with one guy, and that is and was him.

I still want it to be that -one- guy. He was checking my social media often until a couple of weeks ago. But then I broke down, called, told him I missed him after seeing him checking in on me often. He told me he didnt want me in his life anymore, and that he was over everything. It was cold and harsh, he often says harsh things when he's mad. I figured that was it.. and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Then he deleted me off social media, and told me not to call or write him anymore. So I didnt. I couldn't believe it. 😭

I still can't. He said `I couldn't be friends` when every time he said its over, he always makes moves, is super happy to call me his `girlfriend`, and always begins the relationship over when he sees me. Last time we hung out and watched a movie after we broke up. And he grabbed my arm and pulled me to lay my head on his chest. Thats what kind of guy he is. Super sweet and loving..sigh. None of it adds up however you look at it. Checking in on me all that time, constantly. Then saying you want me out of your life? What even.

Thanks a lot for sharing your story. To be honest, yours seems to be a break-up due to his insecurity rather than either of you losing interest so it seems more repairable as he's bound to have the same pattern of thoughts in other relationships too so it really wasn't anything that YOU did.. I think that strong insecurity can make people's behaviour very hostile.

Although there was a lot of insecurity in mine too (from him) as he was just over 10 years older than me (so in his thirthies) but he'd make it seem like he was 60 or something.. he'd always say I'd get bored of him and how the bigger the age differe

Posted by TaurusBull1977
I tend to have a few nostalgic moments. But, they're always fleeting moments.

It never sticks for a certain period of time.

Life is about creating new memories and new experiences....and meeting new faces.

LMAO.

Blame it on the air placements (Aqua Rising, Gemini Moon).

Yeah it is definitely a fleeting moment but wish it would fleet quicker lol

Thanks for your post.

Posted by busyeyes88
Whitedream, you are hijacking the OPs thread!! You have your story on the sag board. This is the taurus board and the OP is here for advice!!

Haha thank you but no problem really - it's kinda comforting to hear about other people who have been through similar but thanks 😄

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by aj123
Why does it even have to be "all or nothing"? I wanted something causal but for longer rather than an intense period of too much affection and then ice cold nothing.

What sun sign was he? He sounds like a Sag or aqua or libra?

Why is he still on yr social media? Why not just amputate?

click to expand

Thank you for posting. 🙂
His sun sign is gemini but he has a cancer moon (so very flighty, gets bored easily and talkative = gemini) but also insecure, very needy, protective and sensitive too = an odd combination.

Haha yeah I know most people would remove such people from their social media but I didn't as
1) we've never ever had any angry words or arguments
2) he is the only one I've ever had that link with so it seems strange to remove such a big part of my history almost (although for him, he's had incredibly long relationships and been with quite a few women so probably nothing major to him).

I know in the long run it would be better just to delete him, but I can't bring myself to do so - I'll probably crave even more than knowing he's "out of reach"

Posted by whitedream
I couldn't read the rest of your message.

My ex `left` because he got jealous IMO. I was making friends and he became insecure. Trying to get more `attention` by `making me jealous.` I didnt respond. He got mad and said it m and pulled me to lay my head on his chest. Thats what kind of guy he is. Super sweet and loving..sigh. None of it adds up however you look at it. Checking in on me all that time, constantly. Then saying you want me out of your life? What even.

continued: he'd always say I'd get bored of him and how the bigger the age difference, the quicker the relationship has ended for him and how he's such an old man, etc. He always made it seem like I was the most special person ever.. not even in that macho, charming flirty way but more emotionally, sensitively and insecurely.

Before when I got cut off - I was just saying you look very cool in your profile pic - almost ethereal 🙂 (trust DXP to cut off the nicest part of my post).
Really strange your sag was a jealous type - normally they are the least jealous type - based on personal experience and astrology but maybe he has a more emotional moon, venus or mars sign as those all play major roles.

Hopefully, I'm not out of line for chiming in, but I'm a Taurus Mars and Rising and YES...I constantly crave people from my past. It's weird, because it's not like I actually want them, want them. It's almost like I wish I could go back to that place in time when everything was good. I think it's that Taurus/Scorp axis where those shared traits come into play. Taurus like Scorpio have a VERY hard time letting go. The motivation is different, but resulting energy is the same. I have to admit that once a person makes themselves "mine" in some sort of way...I can let go, easier than most, but on some level...a part of me always wants them back.

For instance, I've been thinking of my Aries ex on some level. Weird. I definitely DON'T want him back, but when things between us were good...OMG...it was amazing or at least it felt amazing and that was the closest relationship experience that I had to what I actually need and want. Meaning, like...I enjoy my freedom and independence, but it was VERY nice to have someone to "go home to". I'm not sure that I miss it. Like, I don't go home and feel lonely or like I'm missing something once I get there, but I miss that "going home to my man" feeling and then arriving and being like, "Hey Babe...how was your day?" It was very steady, which is what earth energy craves and I'm excited to experience that again with the RIGHT person in the future. I'm not rushing though. lol