Taurus Secret Family

Sixteen years ago, I was in (what I thought was) a committed relationship with a Taurus. While I was pregnant (with twins) he cheated and left. Over the years we have been in pretty constant contact. While we never got back together and moved to other countries and so never saw each other, we have never gone more then a few months without speaking and sometimes speak every day via email.

However, he has never contributed to his kids care, sent cards or letters, or had contact at all. I knew that he had a child with his first wife, and knew that he had two more children with two subsequent relationships. But was under the impression that he flaked on all of these relationships too.

Today, one of our children "met" one of his other children on facebook. She told my son that she had pictures of the children from the other two relationships, but that her father had told her that he had no contact with me, no pictures or info about our kids, and didn't even know their names.

I am crushed and really confused. I have sent pictures several times a year, he has had contact with my kids via email. He has said for the last 16 years that I am "the one that got away" and that he wished that we could live closer and make this work. But apparently we are the "secret" family since he is telling the rest of the world that he has no contact and doesn't even know his children's names.

Why would a Taurus keep us a secret while acknowledging his other kids and failed relationships?

So he had three kids with two different women and you were under the impression he had flaked on those but then went on to give him two more kids?

I might have read that wrong.

Anyway, I think there is a simple answer to you question...

It's because he's a cunt!

Š

No, he had one child with his first wife. I had twins. Then he had two more children with two different women since we split.

I know he is a bleep.

My question is, why would someone keep his relationship and contact with one family secret? If he kept all of the children separate, that would make more sense. But why maintain contact with me for over 15 years, while telling others that he has no contact? Why would he acknowledge some of his kids but not ours? There has never been a paternity issue, he signed the birth certificates, etc.

I know Taurus can be secret keepers. I guess Im trying to figure out why.

He isn't in the same country as any of his children.

So I could see if he kept all of us separate, as in didn't acknowledge any of the children. But he apparently has told his daughter about the other kids and even provided pictures, but pretends like he doesn't even know our boys names.

Kill him , kill him with fire

Burn the bridge. See the light again in that dark past of your life. Stop contacting all of that pain. Bury it. get back on life.

I don't know why.. but if that happens to me. I don't swear to this earth but just leave them in the grave. I won't have to open the wounds again.
enough for my family and no.. I'd better be alone than dealing an ass*hole*.

LOL - you think this dude being a Taurus is going to give you some kind of clue as to why he keeps your family a secret? Or that other Taurus folks can help solve this mystery?

Where is his Venus? We can always blame that, if its in Aries....

Posted by Curiousram

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
LOL - you think this dude being a Taurus is going to give you some kind of clue as to why he keeps your family a secret? Or that other Taurus folks can help solve this mystery?

Where is his Venus? We can always blame that, if its in Aries....

LMAO.

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Excellent plan! Ž

People are strange. They do strange thing and depict strange behaviour. Sometimes there isn't even a reason for it. It's just who and how they are.

I left him as soon as I found out he cheated and went through a difficult pregnancy myself. I have never pursued him or even considered him for financial or emotional support. I knew it would be impossible. It is only his constant emails and apologizing over the years and his "I want to be a positive force in my kids lives" that has kept me even answering his contact. I never wanted to be that woman who denied their kids a relationship with their father because of my personal feelings.

But that positive contact never came, excuses, only excuses.

Now to find out that we were a secret.... I came here I guess to try and get some insight. Of course I am upset because I have had this constant thorn in my side for 16 years. My son, now finds that it isn't that he has no contact with any of his kids like I assumed, in fact has contact with all of his kids except my boys. He is looking to me for answers and frankly I don't have any.

If my ex wanted to disappear and actually have no contact, no pictures, no anything, he could have easily accomplished this. But to pursue me so intently for so many years while pretending that he had no contact, it is baffling to me.

Thanks for everyone's input.

Sounds like my moms first husband, worthless piece of shit by all accounts, unfortunately it took my mom four kids before she wised up and left his ass. but for the next forty or so years he acted like none of them , my mom or siblings even existed. Never paid child support, never called, wrote anything. However in the past year all the sudden he's tried contacting all my siblings, and wants to play the role of father. Three have written him off entirely, one holds out hope.

This may be my Virgo moon talking, but I've often given my mom shit for what she ever saw in that dude he was such a fucking goofball. He used to wear mismatching socks, mismatching outfits and had hair longer than most women I've met. He was Aquarius, I believe and has this carefree attitude about him and nothing could phase him. Probably explains why when my Sister was being delivered, he was off fucking some teenage slut who was still in high school. LOL

Mom's response has long been "It was the 70's, and shit happens". Typical Capricorn. Gah!

Busyeyes88 - Thank you. I have always told my boys that their father and I didn't work out, he lives far away, and some people take a long time to grow up. He has never been in their lives at all and I left it at that. I maintained contact I guess because I hoped that one day he would grow up and could be a positive person.

This all blew up when one of the boys asked if I had any contact (I have never revealed to my kids that we have been in email contact for years simply because I didn't want to put my kids through the "here today gone tomorrow" and failed promises). I emailed the ex, said that the boys had started to ask about him and would he welcome an email from them. He was very excited, told me all sorts about where he was in his life and how he had finally grown up and understood all that he did wrong.

He then prceeded to send a very vicious email to my son which was essentially "I don't know what you want from me, I don't know you, and I am not interested in having a relationship with you."

I had choice words and then blocked his email address and have not had contact since.

My son (probably in anger) reached out to his father's first child on facebook (without my knowledge) and they have developed a friendship. She has nothing to do with her father for exactly the reasons that I didn't want the boys to be attached.....lots of lies and failed promises. But the last revelation, that he has pursued a relationship with all of his children except mine is the final sting.

He is looking to me for answers that I don't have.

I am not suggesting that because he is a Taurus that he would act this way. He acts this way because he an immature jerk.

I understand that Taurus like to keep things close to their chest. I was wondering, from a Taurus perspective, why someone would keep something of this magnitude secret.

Posted by Binota

Seriously, you are just sitting here wondering why you are in secret family although YOU made your own decision of never pursued him or even financial/emotional support? That was super selfish of you even though it's also his children to be finances with.

It's your own stupid mistakes for letting your sons wondering why he never got contact with. Geez I feel even more sorry for your children than you.

click to expand

Actually, he is British, ran off to Australia to avoid paying child support and I returned to the US. So it wasn't that I made a decision, as much as their was no decision to make. The US courts don't pursue in Australia, the UK courts claim to pursue but don't, and I didn't have the money to move to Australia to pursue him.

My contact from him has been one or two sentence "how are you doing today" type things. But they have been coming for 15 years.

My children have never really asked about him until the last few months. I told them that he lived far away and that was that. So they have never considered him a part of their lives. They weren't sitting around wondering anything until he claimed he wanted to email them and then delivered a bomb in their laps.

@AriesSunshine...

This topic isn't applicable to astrology. Most Bulls that I know are wonderful fathers. Great providers, and quite overly protective of their children. They believe in raising their children to be self sufficient, obedient, well-mannered and disciplined.

However, the mystery behind this Bull's desire to shield his illegitimate children from his nuclear family is not the issue,but...

Your need to keep communication lines open with him supersedes his lack of devotion to his children is what concerns me.

Quite self-centered, on your part, and quite negligent on his part.

He's feeding your ego instead of feeding his children.

There is no big Taurus mystery. The Venus placement is irrelevant. A Bull is a Bull.
Despite the natal placements, the core traditional values remain the same.

You're either linked to a responsible one or a selfish one.

My guess, you got the latter.

Most [not all] Bulls are private people.

But a secret this big?

I will have to agree with Busyeyes,

...Not of this magnitude.

We're too conventional to abandon our responsibilities (if you're referring to the astrological description of a Bull).

I hope this answers your question.

Thanks TaurusBull1977 and everyone else.