Best Way to Help

I just need advice on this.

Thank you. I'm not sure the exact story of how it ended. I won't be bringing it up anytime soon.

It took me years to get over my ex. And people tried to help me too. But the truth is, she has to want to move on in order for it to happen ? Until she's ready and willing to make an effort to stop caring about him, it's never going to happen.

The only thing you can do is encourage her to stop stalking him, bring her out places, and try to meet new guys. Try to get her on a dating app too. Maybe if she does meet someone that interests her a lot, she'll focus her attention on him

Thank you. I will try. She's a total catch. She really doesn't seem to want to let him go. The last person to suggest a dating website to her ended up getting cut out of her life.

From what I've seen, everything has to be her idea; it can't be my idea for her to move on. It isn't like with a fire sign, like an Aries, where, if you plant certain seeds eventually they somewhat follow the path and life changes. She's very "I have to be the one that makes decisions for myself!" in her attitude.

Hopefully an amazing new guy walks in and helps her get over the old one.

Do you know any guys she might like? Perhaps introduce them in a very subtle way. If she perhaps find she likes them without any pushing on your part then she may start to get herself out.

You can't push. You can't try and convince. Like you said, it has to be her idea. The clever thing on your part is to get her to a healthy place without showing your work behind the scenes.

Other than that, be her friend, keep telling her what an amazing person she is and be there to support her.

Posted by Carpediem2525
Thank you Jeane. I had tried to think of a guy that might be a good fit for her, but she has a list of requirements. If I can think of one though, that might be a good way to go about it. Thanks!

Even if the guy was perfect and met every

requirement, she'd probably find another

reason to shoot him down, if she's this bad.

How long have you been friends?

Seems strange she wouldn't talk about the

'reason' he left in an effort to change

something, to speed up the dream reunion.

How frustrating though, for you... things like

this kind of annoy me.

Posted by Carpediem2525
Thank you Jeane. I had tried to think of a guy that might be a good fit for her, but she has a list of requirements. If I can think of one though, that might be a good way to go about it. Thanks!

It's just a thought. Bear in mind, it will be a very long process. Don't introduce him as potential love interest but do it a friend, someone she should know, purely platonic.

If she senses any manipulation by you, she'll dig her heels in.

She's not ready to date anyone else. She needs to stay away from dating sites and men. If she joins a dating site then she's going to be one of those people who clogs it up and who shouldn't be on there because clearly she's not over her ex. What type of date do you think she will be? What do you think she can offer another man while still being attached (in her head/heart) to another man? She's already dealing with one heart ache. She doesn't need more heart ache from dating and being rejected by others or falling into a situation or relationship when she's not ready.

My fella is a Taurus and he had a bad break up about ten years or so ago. I didn't know him then but he described it took him years to get over it. Maybe four or five years or more. Wallowing in his pity. Wondering what had happened. He knew it was over and didn't want her back (she was fucked up, lived her life like a particular film with Kirsten Dunst in it) but it took him years to really feel better. Their relationship wasn't that long to warrant that length of grieving but each to their own. I don't think you can push a Taurus as you already know. If it takes her another five years then that's her choice.

If someone comes along that could, as a friend, aid her in the health process, I would absolutely introduce them.

I don't know how long it will take for her to heal, but I'm glad your guy found you 🙂

Healing process **

Posted by Carpediem2525
If someone comes along that could, as a friend, aid her in the health process, I would absolutely introduce them.

I don't know how long it will take for her to heal, but I'm glad your guy found you 🙂

If this was to me, ohmygod that's so nice of you to say!

If it wasn't....never mind....



My partner's previous relationship was a marriage. When I met him he was not ready to let go and still had hopes he could put things back together. It had been years since the split and subsequent divorce but he felt like he had failed.

Then I came along. Friends for a while, then more than that. I know at the start of our relationship he still harboured feelings of a lost family. Now? No way. But it took him seeing an alternate life to get him moving.

I think had he not met someone else (not specifically me) he would still be in the same place.

You can get them to budge it just has to be done little by little.