For: classyleolady

classyleolady asked for help on 'How can I get my bull back?' She wrote:

Posted by classyleolady
Hi ALL,

I need your help to get my Taurus man back. My story: I fell madly in love with my Taurus man, I'm a Leo lady. We were together 5 months, he would call me daily and text a lot, almost daily. He would sometimes withdraw and be distant and I'd ask him if he wanted to break up and he said he had concerns about my spending. He ignored me until I showed up at his apt to talk. He said he did thought it was bad I asked for gas money from my mom or him, that I live at home, etc. Things were shaky. He said we would take it slow, but we are still bf/gf. A week after that, he was all over me physically, but did not give me a good night kiss. I got mad. I invited him on a date and he introduced me as his date not gf(so now I was pissed). What set me off was discovering he hung out with an ex of 5 years (who cheated on him) without telling me. It prompted me to break up with him on 9/14/12 and then I tried to take it back on 9/15/12 telling him I was mad at him for seeing her, he should not have done that to me. I tried calling him that Sunday, but he sent me an email saying You breaking up with me, bashing me on Facebook, now trying to get back together, has gotten me a little turned around, I need time. I gave him 2 weeks and NOTHING! I deleted him from my Facebook, changed my number because I was angry that he does not communicate and smooth things out. By the 3rd week, on 10/5/12, I went to his apartment to see if I could talk to him about getting back together and he stated that we are fine, I just have $ concerns with you that I like Neiman Marcus and how 10 years from now I'd want a "higher socio economic life style . I had told him I only LOVED HIM and didn't want anything else in the world but to be with him.

He let me in his apt, I watched tv while he took a shower, and when he got out I tried to make love to him. What made me mad was that he had previous dinner plans with friends and I wanted him to cancel them. He said he doesn't do that and he wants to spend time with this fat female friend because she's moving. I was PISSED OFF to say the least and he knows that. We were about to make love, but couldn't because of his plans. He said he has to protect his interests, that people say $ is important.That night I texted him that I loved him & sorry I hurt his trust and love over mon

... continued

Posted by classyleolady
Hi ALL,

That night I texted him that I loved him & sorry I hurt his trust and love over money, but NO REPLY!!!!

Next day we texted and I mentioned I wanted to get him these glasses and he said not to go out of my way. We havent talked since. Any HELP?THANx

Let me get this straight...

- He withdrew
- You ask for gas money
- You live with your Mom
- He is concerned with your spending
- He was all over you physically
- You got mad that he didn't give you a goodnight kiss after
- He wants to take it slow now
- He introduced as his date
- He saw his ex
- You broke up with him for a whole day
- You bashed him on facebook (what that the same day? )
- You gave him two weeks and then deleted everything
- You did some begging
- You tried to have sex with him
- He wouldn't cancel his plans for you
- His moving "fat female friend" ? (I hope you didn't say this to HIM)
- You were "PISSED OFF"
- You wrote him nice things that night
- You wanted to buy him a gift, but he said 'no'

So... you haven't spoken since... why are you surprised — I am Taurus... I would run too !!!

First... stop EVERYTHING you are doing ! You have pushed him away very far this time ! Right now... you don't have a chance ! BUT... You DO have 5 months of history with him which is to your advantage.

What is happening, is that you are not getting the results YOU want as quickly as YOU want them... in turn making YOU angry. Your ANGER, by the way... it is not serving you well... you must get it under control NOW !!!

You are not going to like what I am about to say... but you need to let him go... for now. Don't write, don't call, don't try to add him to facebook, don't go to his apartment, don't 'drive-by', don't even ask anyone about him... NOTHING for 6 weeks (mark your calendar) ! Until then, you must work on your anger management abilities... your allowing someone to live their life as they want to... your adaptability when something goes beyond your control.

He will probably contact you after some time has passed (within 6 weeks)... he doesn't expect you to disappear. I have the impression that you are always in his face in some way... but he can't miss you, if you are always around. Your actions as of late have put everything to question... not just money.

So... calm down... relax... it is time for you to play the love-game. You always seem to be violently throwing your cards at his face ! Stop showing him your cards now... place your bet.

David13-here, here! BRAVO guidance mister. 🙂

I'm very surprised you even dare to write that whole story and then ask US what you're doing wrong.
How do you not see this as a huge tantrum by a "grownup"?

You push him away when you don't get what you want, you pull him back all needy and when he doesn't give in immediately, you start yelling and acting like a child again. Jesus Christ, get a grip! Some people really do live a separate life from reality in their head, where everything they wand and demand is constantly supplied.

1) You cannot go around insulting his friends and expect everything to be fine. Would you be if someone called your best friend a nasty word?
2) You're having serious anger issues so you better learn to vent your frustration another way
3) Never use sex as a bargaining tool, especially out of selfish reasons just to get back together. Sex isn't the glue that'll magically fix everything, it's icing on the solid relationship cake. The sooner you see this, the sooner you'll see what you did wrong.
4) You give him hell for not treating you right or contacting you back, but then when he actually agrees to see you, you suddenly want him to drop everything he has planned? How about you get in line like the rest of the world when it comes to lovers & friends. You cannot pop up out of the blue & expect them to drop everything for you.
5) Bulls are future oriented. If he says he has a problem with your spending habits, and taking into account you're taking money from others to pay for your bills + live at home, how about you cut on the spending and start thinking about your future? You can't stay at home forever if you want to get together with this guy, he's clearly saying you are nowhere near mentally ready to date him. He needs security and you to have a level head -perhaps even the prospect of living together at some point- but can you honestly say you're at that point in your life where you can choose to jump in with him? Not too reliant on others to fix problems & bills for you?
6) When a man withdraws -regardless of their zodiac sign- we want some quiet/private time. This has nothing to do with you most of the time, but we need to get our priorities and thoughts straight. If you see this downtime as a reason to ask him if he wants to break up, how insecure are you about your relationship then? Has he ever given you the idea that he's cheating on you or wants to break up, other than this illusion in your head? You're creating drama in so many ways possible yet you d

Posted by Ormas

6) When a man withdraws -regardless of their zodiac sign- we want some quiet/private time. This has nothing to do with you most of the time, but we need to get our priorities and thoughts straight. If you see this downtime as a reason to ask him if he wants to break up, how insecure are you about your relationship then? Has he ever given you the idea that he's cheating on you or wants to break up, other than this illusion in your head? You're creating drama in so many ways possible yet you d

d... don't ? dig ? doubt ? damned ?!! 😢 The suspense is killing me !!!

Always leave them hanging for more.

I said "You're creating drama in so many ways possible yet you don't even want see it as a possible explanation for his behavior". Drama in this amount is bad for everything and everyone.

Thank you ! I was afraid I might lose sleep tonight !

Oh my goodness we have emotions all over the board here. Not good when it comes to us Taurus focks! We need stability and security. David your advise rocks!!

I am not trying to be rude at all here but your name is classy leo lady but with the actions that you have shown your man you are not acting like a classy lady you are being implosive emotional and rude. It's time to get your head back in the game and be the classy lady that you know you are. I know as a women that when you really like a guy emotions can run hard and be all over the place but honestly no man or taurus likes that. I would say do not contact him let him be the one contacting you. Honestly I think that there is a very good chance you will hear from him. Keep things short and sweet and don't be emotional. Take this time to get your emotions under control. A good way of doing this would be to talk to your girlfriend (I have 2 gfs that call me when they are emotional over their guys and I talk them down off the ledge) or vent here and let us talk sence into you before you go emotional on this guy. And last but not least listen to Davids and Ormas advice it is very very good!!! I think you can turn this situation around but you are going to have to stop what you are doing and literally do the opposite of it which is going to be hard at first but you can do it!

I am a Taurus woman, I am rubbish at relationships, but I do know you cannot force people to do what you want, let him go is the best way.....