From Grudge To Trust

Haven’t been on these boards in quite some time, nonetheless, here goes....

I’m Virgo Sun Cancer Moon Cancer Asc (I have 3 other Virgo placements in my chart). I met Taurus Sun (Gem moon) 6yrs ago when he and I both were in other relationships (he having probs in his & mine on way out the door) and both of us were honest with each other about it. For the next 2.5yrs we kept “us” on the low and saw each other frequently. He traveled alot with work helping to fulfill his Gem Moon & Gem Merc and my Mars Aquarius loves loose ties/freedom to experiment so we placed no conditions on one another. As we’re in our rhythm, after 2.5yrs one day he tells me he’s leaving his current relationship, buying a house, and wanted me to move in. I placed one condition...”I needed my own room to have my own space”. He agreed. I told him since he needed to air out from his previous relationship and I wasn’t gung-ho about jumping into a serious relationship that he & I shouldn’t attempt a serious one but that we could still sleep together like we normally would from time to time. We agreed both of us could date others but he knew how serious I was about not dating ppl with babies. We both made 2 prominent promises to one another...He wouldnt lie & never put me out behind another woman, and my promise to him was if that was the case then I would never leave him. Here is where it went immediately left ==> He LIED the 1st day I moved in, I found out about it, and immediately moved out just as quick as I moved in....this all happened within 10 days of me moving in. The LIE he told was a serious infraction as far as I was concerned and set the tone for what I would’ve been in for in the future with him knowing fully well we weren’t even in a serious relationship, so there was NO NEED to lie. The LIE was that he agreed to help me move from my apt into the home the 1st day of my move & was supposed to meet me at my apt that morning. He never did and I wasn’t able to get ahold of him til late that afternoon 4pm/5pm. He told me he had gotten sick the night before & spent the night at his parents & had been there all day trying to get better. Needless to say his mom accidently told the truth where he was a few days later when she came by the house to help me with some stuff. He was with another woman partying & sleeping around in a hotel. Then he invited the same woman with her 2yr old to the house that same week (mind u this was the 1st week of move-in with boxes & crap everywhere). I work from home so while working all I could hear was the 2yr old running around downstairs keeping up noise while they sat cozied up pretending like it was all ok. When I found out about the lie I immediately told him I was out...thankfully the way my bank account was setup...it made it possible for this exact situation. So I moved out & moved on to the next one on my bench. Now, none of this is to say I didn’t love him or care a great deal about him, because I very much so did....still do, and always told him so. Matter fact, he has same birthday, May 13th, as my 1st true love that unfortunately passed years & years ago. And I actually love him just as much, I just don’t care for feeling boxed in a situation where I’ve been lied to from day 1. So I left, moved out of state for a year and moved back, not letting him know I was back here for almost 2yrs. Sent him a cordial email after Thxgiving checkin in with him & wishing him all the best, he sent a mutual one in return. We talked by email going back & forth for hours and he asked was I in the area and I told him yes. He moves to TX for a new job same company in another month and I move back to west coast in 11 months. We then agreed to a lunch date prior to his leaving. But it didn’t go that way, he sent me an email last month Jan telling me want he REALLY wanted in a mere 5 words...Lol. I purposely didn’t respond right away and waited 24hrs before doing so. Then I put it off for another week & few days while he was still coming at me. I put it off because as bad as I wanted to be intimate with him my Cancer Moon & Cancer Asc KNEW going in it was going to be a “grudge/revenge” intimate type session...and he goes for hours. So thats exactly what it turned out to be! I literally had to go to my doctor a few days after because I thought something was wrong I was in so much pain...my ENTIRE body. (I’m only 5’2”...127lbs...a bit petite and had not had sex in 14 months), and even though he’s only about 5’10....175 - 180lbs, it may as well be Cirque De Soleil when we get together. It was always the one place we completely understood one another’s deep rooted emotions/feelings neither of us show very well outwardly. A week goes by and he hits me again the next weekend. As scared as I was I went anyway. We got lit and it was extremely polar opposite to the prior week. This time he made sure I understood he wanted to make love to every inch of my body. We got up the next day and since he loves talking after, we spent the next 5hrs laying around in bed just talking. Once again, he’s at the back end of yet another relationship...YESSSSS the same woman with the 2yr old, and admitted to me he’s stepped out with a couple other women. I treasure our friendship...always have...and just listened w/out trying to judge/criticize him, and just asked him questions. They are already in couples therapy because he wants just a “partnership” and she wants “marriage” if she moves to TX with him. He still lives in the current house that I moved out of and him & her have never physically moved in together. He tells me there are no plans yet of her moving to TX with him because they’re at this stalemate. She’s a Scorp and told him she thinks he’s sleeping around “again”. I told him maybe he & I shouldn’t see each other anymore so he can focus on his & her relationship. He was not hearing any of that. And because I’m in Finance/Acct, he asked me to help him with his retirement accounts, which I’m now in the process of doing. He never trusted me like that before knowing what I do, but now he is trusting me wholeheartedly with his all of his retirement accounts giving me all access to them & helping him manage his credit. I am overly cautious and haven’t moved any of his funds around yet because I understand the seriousness of managing others money, but that really caught me off guard. We now talk regularly, when before we never did this much, and the tone is much different, easier to deal with him. Just not sure whats changed with him even though both of us are on our way out of this area to separate places. Anybody guess—

As a Taurus Sun, Gem Moon, myself,

Take this advice and RUN!

This is a tricky combination, because it's a contradicting combination. It's a mixture of wanting to be settled and wanting freedom at the same time....only on OUR terms.

As selfish as this may appear on the surface, he needs to roam and he needs to feel needed. 'Feeling needed' grounds him...and the need for freedom or 'purpose' completes him, if that makes any sense.

This pairing works on a more evolved Taurus who can navigate the contradicting elements in a more mature fashion without the games, lies and BS! Example, this pairing (Sun Taurus/Moon Gemini), can be philanthropists, activists, missionaries, writers, teachers, journalists, etc, and still have traditional families to come home to.

Your Taurus?

Not so much.

He isn't mature enough.

Don't be surprised if he's actually playing 'Daddy' to her two year old while partying with her mother at the same time. He may be attracted to that 'setup.'

You're a Virgo, the sign of service. A great trait to possess...however, an unfortunate trait to possess for the wrong person. Charge him for your services and keep it professional. There is no future. I hate to bearer of bad news. But I had to tell you the truth.

Posted by TaurusBull1977

As a Taurus Sun, Gem Moon, myself,

Take this advice and RUN!

This is a tricky combination, because it's a contradicting combination. It's a mixture of wanting to be settled and wanting freedom at the same time....only on OUR terms.

As selfish as this may appear on the surface, he needs to roam and he needs to feel needed. 'Feeling needed' grounds him...and the need for freedom or 'purpose' completes him, if that makes any sense.

This pairing works on a more evolved Taurus who can navigate the contradicting elements in a more mature fashion without the games, lies and BS! Example, this pairing (Sun Taurus/Moon Gemini), can be philanthropists, activists, missionaries, writers, teachers, journalists, etc, and still have traditional families to come home to.

Your Taurus?

Not so much.

He isn't mature enough.

Don't be surprised if he's actually playing 'Daddy' to her two year old while partying with her mother at the same time. He may be attracted to that 'setup.'

You're a Virgo, the sign of service. A great trait to possess...however, an unfortunate trait to possess for the wrong person. Charge him for your services and keep it professional. There is no future. I hate to bearer of bad news. But I had to tell you the truth.

Thx TaurusBull1977 for a bit of insight coming from a Taurus Sun/Gem Moon. That is definitely one of his biggest struggles...wanting stability/routine/settled and freedom to roam. Even though I have alot of Virgo placements, my Virgo aloofness & Mars Aquarius are very prominent and does not want to be tied down to one man for the rest of my life. I realized this aspect about myself in my early 30s when I noticed that everytime a male asked me for marriage, I would recollect whatever his weaknesses were in our relationship (big habit of Virgo constantly making mental notes of what needs to be fixed in a person) and use it against him to justify ending the relationship so I could be free once again. Hate to admit this but being honest, I frequently view my monogamous relationships as being “boxed in” if I notice its getting too serious too soon, which gives me great anxiety sometimes. So now I keep loose ties and no labels, which has made it easier for me to deal and be honest with whoever I’m dealing with....including him. He knows all of this about me.The area where my Cancer moon/Cancer rising helps is remaining friends with my ex’s because I always remember something good about dealing with my ex-partners.

I just didn’t know what changed with my Taurus Sun/Gem Moon because we’ve never gone down this path, especially after I know I hurt him by moving out 10 days after he asked me to live with him 3yrs ago. I sometimes think its payback for hurting him (just me and my Virgo overly cautiousness). And yes, he has also admitted to stepping in as a father figure to her daughter sometimes. I think because Taurus & Virgos tend to be common sense practical realists, there is no misunderstanding about a possible ‘romantic’ future. Both of us are off to different parts of the country, him Midwest next month and me Westcoast in 11 months. That’s not bad news....those are just the facts. Appreciate your input TaurusBull1977.