Help me understand how to handle conflict with my Taurus Man.

I'm a Sagittarius (30yr) women and have been with my Taurus (26yr) man for 6 months.

He recently told me (emotional explosion) that he loves me and expressed life building possibilities with me.

he has 2 best friends, in my personal opinion I don't see them to be benefiting friendships. they are very into partying and from my observation that's all they do as a common interest. I feel they are good people i just think they act responsible and are likely to suffer from their current life choices. i don't think he knows i think that though.

well one is a girl and one is a gay man. recently we went to a concert all together. we had a great time and him and i were very much affectionate for each other. but his girl-friend was really under the influence, she was doing some regrettable things and my protective Taurus went to rescue her, in that process she shifted and ended up kissing him, right in front of my face. my Taurus immediately looked at me with a face of apology. and i choose to brush it off because i A. trust him and B. did not feel threatened by her vs, me.

so just the other day my Taurus went to their Farwell party, which is basically a shit show that lasts all night, into the day from my understanding. (Note: our only major fights are caused by him participating in these events and basically blowing off our plans the next day or no communicating with me change of plans because he needs to recover, he will act like its not a big deal, i tell him how i felt about it want this to keep happening he says sorry and we let it go) This time around i knew what to expect so i made my own plans and didn't expect to hear from him until after recovery, no big deal.

well his gay friend posted a video on social media of my guy teasing him by unbuttoning his pants, showing hi limp bulge and his gay best friend reaching and then touching him before my guy backs off and the video ends. my Taurus is hot, and i know his gay best friend wants him, and my Taurus is secure with himself so i know that he likes the "your so hot" attention and teases his friend a little. im secure and from what iv seen up until this video i didn't make a big deal out of any of it. but to me this video crossed a weird line. i know longer look at it as a gay thing, i look at is as my boyfriend engage in sexual flirtation with a person that wants him (gender and friendship are a non factor) i feel cheated and i feel hurt because its so sexual.

i told him how i felt, i told him i feel disrespected, i told him its not about his friends, its about his actions and how they negatively effect me, i told him im hurt, i told him its weird, i told him that i don't deserve that, im not going to put up with it, i did say that i questioned his sexuality, i did say that i feel we might not want the same things, i told him i don't know what to think and i told him i need space.

he is amazing, he does make me feel amazing, he shows me so much affection, and i believe that he loves me by how thoughtful and caring he is with me aside from our conflicts. i do love him, and i don't want our relationship to be over. but all he said to me was that he's sorry that he made me feel like this and that he was just messing with his friend, he says he embarrassed and he just loves friends. (note: its not about his friends its about his actions) but he doesn't give me validation that he wont do this again, i feel like im not even in his thought process as someone to be effected by and i feel like he doesn't really care that sorry might just be an easy way to just end the conversation.



am i valid to be upset?

i told him i needed space to figure out how i feel but at the same time i think he needs to reach out to me to fight for me to stay, but will he?

how long should i give him the silent treatment?

do you think he would give up on me?

im really sad about this all because i don't like to be disrespected because then im in conflict with my head and my heart.

help me

They say most relationships end between 3 and 6 months maybe this is moment.

It reads like you don't like the person he is. You like the way he treats you and makes you feel but not so fond of him as an individual, his friends, his behaviour when he is with them. Two very different things. One is about you and how you feel, the other is about him and who he is.

To me that sounds like you need to find someone who can treat you great and make you feel amazing and is also someone you like as a person.

Has he told you that you two are In a committed relationship?

well his gay friend posted a video on social media of my guy teasing him by unbuttoning his pants, showing hi limp bulge and his gay best friend reaching and then touching him before my guy backs off and the video ends. my Taurus is hot, and i know his gay best friend wants him, and my Taurus is secure with himself so i know that he likes the "your so hot" attention and teases his friend a little. im secure and from what iv seen up until this video i didn't make a big deal out of any of it. but to me this video crossed a weird line. i know longer look at it as a gay thing, i look at is as my boyfriend engage in sexual flirtation with a person that wants him (gender and friendship are a non factor) i feel cheated and i feel hurt because its so sexual.

STRAIGHT MEN DON'T DO THIS! I HAVE NO GAY MALE FRIENDS, not that I have anything against homosexuals, it's just birds of a feather flock together. If I were you, I wouldn't have sex without a condom, and I think you are refusing to accept the obvious. The silent treatment is not going to change his desire for men. It's just been six months and a man who loved you wouldn't behave like this. Leave this bisexual man alone and find someone else. It's just been six months it should be easy to shake.

very interesting, I will reflect.

I don't see where I insinuated that I don't like the person he is. I do like who he is, he has a lot of qualities I respect in a person, I have a child and although they don't spend a lot of time together yet I believe he would be a great partner in that area for both me and my son. but communication is just very hard as he keeps things in and I am very expressive. also I don't think he puts a lot of thought into his actions or he may be influenced by other in specific environments which is a known weakness to some extent and he might not really recognize these things about him like I do as a person who studies our compatibility so that I can compromise out differences.

I asked him point blank if he is bi sexual and he said no. that he is just messing around with his friend and that he was drunk and didn't realize the extent of his actions. he seems sorry. but I know Taurus are very anti conflict and pleasing so feel insecure that he might say whatever he thinks I need to hear but im not sure he would because I also trust he is an honest man.

I gave him a lot of "outs" in the conversation to let me know if a committed relationship with me was really want he wanted or if he would be better independent. he's a relationship jumper and I just don't want him to feel trapped because break ups are never easy., he told me that he does love me and he does want to see where this goes even though the fear of the unknown is a factor.

I don't know what to think. although this occurred, I feel like he is a pretty masculine man. his sister is gay and we participate in a very PLUR environment (Peace, love, unity, respect - rave scene) so its not uncommon for us to be surrounded and meet and befriend a lot of different types of people, so having gay friend is not weird to me as I know a lot of straight men that accept friends sexual preference. I hate to stereotype because I know its hard to tell but i feel he's pretty masculine, he chased me down when we first met and he encouraged us getting to know each other before we committed. the gay thing is weird, and yes hard for me to believe to be true, I'm basically just very aware of a possible issue and I am now just hoping its not going to be a pattern.

I just want to know how to handle conflict

Posted by Goodtimes
well his gay friend posted a video on social media of my guy teasing him by unbuttoning his pants, showing hi limp bulge and his gay best friend reaching and then touching him before my guy backs off and the video ends. my Taurus is hot, and i know his gay best friend wants him, and my Taurus is secure with himself so i know that he likes the "your so hot" attention and teases his friend a little. im secure and from what iv seen up until this video i didn't make a big deal out of any of it. but to me this video crossed a weird line. i know longer look at it as a gay thing, i look at is as my boyfriend engage in sexual flirtation with a person that wants him (gender and friendship are a non factor) i feel cheated and i feel hurt because its so sexual.

STRAIGHT MEN DON'T DO THIS! I HAVE NO GAY MALE FRIENDS, not that I have anything against homosexuals, it's just birds of a feather flock together. If I were you, I wouldn't have sex without a condom, and I think you are refusing to accept the obvious. The silent treatment is not going to change his desire for men. It's just been six months and a man who loved you wouldn't behave like this. Leave this bisexual man alone and find someone else. It's just been six months it should be easy to shake.

well, i think it's perfectly alright to have gay friends but if they are best friends and act funny like op described, i'd immediately drop him

Posted by TheSagLady
I'd ditch him from the moment the friend kissed him.. drunk or not.. idgaf

You are who you surround yourself with.. note that.

This is actually the common mistake people make in a relationship.. accepting intolerable things in the beginning expecting them to change. They wont. Or they may seem they have changed and then sneak behind you.

Why are u giving him the silent treatment anyway? Just say what you want to say and leave it at that. His actions will either be your green light or your closure. As simple as that.

You're 30, dont waste your time.

?

the guy sounds like a college kid. unless op you have 10 years to waste, leave

ok so its sounds like you guys think that this is something i should walk away from him. but whoa that's like pretty 0 to 100. shouldn't i observe for it to be a consistent thing? or are you all saying one and done?

its true that the entire situation makes me really uncomfortable and today im still pretty sad about it because im no longer feeling secure in the relationship

-will i move past it?

-the next time he is out without me will i trust him?

-or will i be the crazy insecure girl, who, what when where?

i haven't really gotten to that point yet to know.

i want to note that although they are all really good friends. its a friendship from high school that just reconnected as of a year ago. and as long as iv been with him he doesn't really casually talk or hang out with them unless its in a party related environment. i haven't really heard him every really hanging out with them otherwise, but i don't really ask either so its unknown.

am i making excuses. i suppose i just want you to see how im seeing this issue.

also this was a single issue occurring at a Farwell party so basically both those people just moved 3 states away. so there is that bit of comfort knowing that those type of influences aren't really a big concern for me anymore.

also ill note he did just graduate college and he is a bit of a hot nerd, so he is still immature, i feel like he is in a place of figuring things out for himself.

am i making excuses? or am i just sharing how i see it?



im going to be seeing him tonight and based off all the things i have said i need to be prepared with how he is going to respond.

do Taurus hide thing?

do they usually say things they don't mean?

do they often say sorry and not mean it?

if they say sorry do the work ok correcting it or not repeating?

i thought Taurus are loyal and reliable... so when they make a mistake should i hold it to them so hard, hard enough to end it.

Posted by Goodtimes


STRAIGHT MEN DON'T DO THIS! I HAVE NO GAY MALE FRIENDS, not that I have anything against homosexuals, it's just birds of a feather flock together. If I were you, I wouldn't have sex without a condom, and I think you are refusing to accept the obvious. The silent treatment is not going to change his desire for men. It's just been six months and a man who loved you wouldn't behave like this. Leave this bisexual man alone and find someone else. It's just been six months it should be easy to shake.

I agree 100%

I have a close male friend who is gay, invited me to a gay bar.

But he's a gay male...not a gay female...the threat isn't there.

Something tells me this wasn't the first time his gay BFF made a move.

It was just caught on camera which was why he backed off.

I think he's Bi...not gay.

Something tells me the female friend can get it too.

Posted by sagittariusxo


i want to note that although they are all really good friends. its a friendship from high school that just reconnected as of a year ago. and as long as iv been with him he doesn't really casually talk or hang out with them unless its in a party related environment. i haven't really heard him every really hanging out with them otherwise, but i don't really ask either so its unknown.

am i making excuses. i suppose i just want you to see how im seeing this issue.

It's about boundaries and lines being crossed.

Lets just say they were all HS friends and your Taurus didn't want to end the friendship because of his BFF's sexual orientation....

How would you explain the flirting on BOTH sides?

Contrary to popular belief, most gay men don't just flirt or put the moves on heteros simply because they're hot.

They 'feel' out the conversation 1st. At least that was what I was told.

Your man gave him the gold star to reach for his crotch, which is EXACTLY why he did it.

There is a lot of pent up energy from years of flirting.

...and yet the BFF still wasn't punched in the face.

If you are feeling this way and he is not doing anything to make you feel confident that it won't happen again, that is a red flag. Basically, you know how you feel, and you have a right to your feelings, no matter what others think of the situation. It seems like this issue is only going to snowball in the future. As you say, it is weird and you don't understand it. It seems that he needs to grow up a little bit and but you higher on his priority list. Friends are important, but are they more important to him than you are? Maybe that is a question he needs to ask himself. If you continue to be uncomfortable, perhaps you should consider stepping away. You will come back together one day if it's meant to happen.