How do I give my Taurus time when I can't live without him! Please Help

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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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This is my 1st time using this forum. Seeking advise from all Taurus & anyone who has experience with them. So I have been seeing a Taurus Man for the past 5months&2 days. Our relationship has been completely amazing at 1st sight we instantly clicked & for the first 4months never went a single day w/out texting all day & talking at least 3/4x a day but I started to see him pull away this past month. So just to give u a little background he is currently going through the final stages of his divorce it has taken some time to finalize this because he is very successful & theres a lot of money/property involved. I personally believe that he started to pull away bcuz he began to fall for me which was unexpected. He has told me that the divorce has been extremely hard for him & I have always been supportive & understanding. But no matter how hard we tried to take it slow we both have been on the fast track as far as feelings for each other goes. I told him that I love him about a month ago I did not plan to but I couldnt hold it in another second. He basically said that he can't control his feelings for me and that he has never experienced this before. So during a call about a week ago he broke down and cried to me and said that this is his first christmas without his son and without a family and i cried too since that conversation he has been so distant. I love this man, i love his flaws, love his smile, and love everything about him he is perfection to me.. He was flying to see me every 2weeks and flying me to where he is every 2weeks and now it has been 2 months since I have seen him... on our 5 month anniversary I sent him a heartfelt message which i always do each month and this was his response:

Morning babe hope this day finds everything goin well with u. i want u to know that you are the first real lady that has really taken my heart so fast with the blink of a eye. I mean when i thought i was really done with women for a long time u came along. u are a amazing woman. i love everything about u. I wouldnt change a thing. I really think its a future for me & u. I can almost say i think I Love U...WOW.. U have took me & my mind by storm & u told me when we met u would.. I just need a little time to close this chapter in my life that started 8 yrs ago.Thursday MARCH 17 will be that day..My heart is heavy & my mind is confused..i need this time really to just finish this out.. My son is a little confused also & i need to be there to help him get through this. U deserve the best baby.. i cant give that to u at this moment. I want to.. i really do.. u are so beautiful..smart..intelligent..sexy..loving..everything that i want in a lady.. but i am so confused & trying to get through this little time.. u dont deserve to go through me not talking to u and being like this till this end.. i can be yours after...i hope you understand.U are perfect for me but i dont want to mess up what can be here when this chapter is closed.. please understand..
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TaureanVirgo
@TaureanVirgo
12 Years

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Posted by TheCancerGirl
I just need advice on how i should handle this not talking to him for 70 days would in my mind seriously would be impossible. Do you guys think he is saying he wants to end all communication or that he just wants to slow down? I need some help from the mind of a Taurus right now because I don't know what to think.
He told you what he meant, and he means exactly what he says. Nothing more, nothing less. Stop being so self absorbed and give the man some space.
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
70 days is not much in terms of a lifetime. love him enough to give him what he needs. people in the armed forces go months and months without speaking to their loved ones.

you've got 70 days and if the relationship is as strong as you believe then it will be still be there at the end of march. although i have never been divorced, i can imagine it is a tough time when your marriage comes to an end. be understanding and be compassionate and your focus will change from "but how is this going to affect me?" to "i hope he is doing ok".

like tls mentioned, it seems mad you can't talk in 70 days. he might have said that when he was feeling particularly vulnerable. you might hear from him sooner than you think.
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by TheCancerGirl
That's exactly what I am saying that is just way too long I have never even went to full days without talking to him and I can't even see that he can go that long without talking to me when he usually calls and text multiple times a day.. The communication just slowed down but even then he at least called once a day or since text.. This is extremely hard for me
stop making it about you. he is ending his marriage. he is dealing with a whole range of emotions especially given there is a child involved and the separation that will take place. he's going to be worried about keeping contact with his kid, finances, co-parenting.

show him how much you love him by putting your needs on the back burner for now to focus on him and be the best partner you can be in his time of need. by adding your demands to his already full plate, he not only has deal with everything else, you are also making him responsible for your feelings. give him a break.
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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@busyeyes88 I will do just that.. I have 2 businesses to run myself.. I just invested a lot into our relationship I couldn't help it.. But I will get busy and focus on all that I have going on.. Thank you so much for the advice and I had no clie what I was getting myself into before because I had never had a Taurus before I thought this would be simple but it much more complex.. Not to mention he originally said he was divorced already in the beginning maybe I would've thought twice before but now it's too late.. I love him so I'll just have to learn about this thing you call patience
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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@jeane OMG I love everything about what you just said thank you so much and you are so right.. I see myself marrying this man and spending my life with him so 70 days should be nothing when you think of it like that.. I hope to hear from him as well he always calls and tells me how much he misses me so I couldn't believe he even thinks he can make it that long.. Thank you again
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by TheCancerGirl
@jeane OMG I love everything about what you just said thank you so much and you are so right.. I see myself marrying this man and spending my life with him so 70 days should be nothing when you think of it like that.. I hope to hear from him as well he always calls and tells me how much he misses me so I couldn't believe he even thinks he can make it that long.. Thank you again
you're welcome. sometimes it really is just giving your partner what they need at the time, no matter the sacrifice to you. to me, that is real love.
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by DonnaElvira77
oh my gaawwwd


text back 69 days and it's a deal! And if he can't tell you are joking lose all respect for him.

No text back 40 days and it's a deal...and ask him to buy you a countdown calender! Tell him you want to mark off everyday with a heart!

Why 70 days? Why not 71 days— lol

Or 67 ?? It's an auspicious number? 😉

Why 70 days?

He is just keeping you hanging around.

If he wanted you he would want you now. I am sorry but I don't see there is anything between you. Not in the way you feel.

It's a way of getting rid of you. And it's controlling.

He needs to get grip. He is the cling one. He can't cut you loose. His divorce is his issue. Meh.

I know you won't take my advice. But there you go. We cancers get attached easy etc and are driven by emotions I get that.
it' interesting you should say that. it could be a test...
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Posted by DonnaElvira77
This guy does not love you he is a gobshite. He will never love you. End it now.



Hi @donna so let me clarify he didn't say 70 days I just counted the days his divorce will be final in 70 days and he just asked for time to get finish with that situation and I'm all for advice if it will help me.. I honestly believe he does care deeply for me because he has shown me with his actions and not just his words I just had an issue with him pulling away
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Posted by Nevermore
Posted by TheCancerGirl
@jeane OMG I love everything about what you just said thank you so much and you are so right.. I see myself marrying this man and spending my life with him so 70 days should be nothing when you think of it like that.. I hope to hear from him as well he always calls and tells me how much he misses me so I couldn't believe he even thinks he can make it that long.. Thank you again

But you just know 5 months.. how can you be so sure to wanting married him already? Geez.. talkin about crazyness..
click to expand

I was stating that I can see that in our future not tomorrow .. I even asked him to give me 2 years before we talk about kids or marriage because I need time for that but I can see it all happening eventfully.. So let's not act like I'm saying I would go to the court house tomorrow because that's not the case
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Posted by jeane
Posted by DonnaElvira77
oh my gaawwwd


text back 69 days and it's a deal! And if he can't tell you are joking lose all respect for him.

No text back 40 days and it's a deal...and ask him to buy you a countdown calender! Tell him you want to mark off everyday with a heart!

Why 70 days? Why not 71 days— lol

Or 67 ?? It's an auspicious number? 😉

Why 70 days?

He is just keeping you hanging around.

If he wanted you he would want you now. I am sorry but I don't see there is anything between you. Not in the way you feel.

It's a way of getting rid of you. And it's controlling.

He needs to get grip. He is the cling one. He can't cut you loose. His divorce is his issue. Meh.

I know you won't take my advice. But there you go. We cancers get attached easy etc and are driven by emotions I get that.
it' interesting you should say that. it could be a test...
click to expand


@jeane could you explain what you mean about the test a little more ?
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
Posted by TheCancerGirl
@jeane could you explain what you mean about the test a little more ?
taurus are notorious for their tests. they like to test potential partners as part of their assessment to keep you. this 70 day silence, could be a test to see how you react, behave and respond to him. it will tell him a lot about your patience, devotion, loyalty, trustworthiness.

i'm not saying he is thinking like that but it's not out of the realm of possibility.
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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So here is my response to what he said if it matters

"Baby.. I would wait for as long as you needed me to.. You have no idea how much I actually care for you.. The way I feel could not diminish with the test of time.. When it's real it never goes away.. So with that being said I understand and I'm willing to do whatever it takes.. I just can't imagine being without you or not seeing you.. Those two things are incredibly hard for me.. All you have to do is tell me what it is that you need from me and it will be done.. If you needed to stop communication completely I would do that for you because I honestly love you that much and I want to make you happy.. I would probably go a little crazy from missing you so much but I want to put your needs before my wants.. Sometimes when you love someone you are tested and I promise you that no test will break what I feel for you.. "
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by jeane
Posted by TheCancerGirl
@jeane could you explain what you mean about the test a little more ?
taurus are notorious for their tests. they like to test potential partners as part of their assessment to keep you. this 70 day silence, could be a test to see how you react, behave and respond to him. it will tell him a lot about your patience, devotion, loyalty, trustworthiness.

i'm not saying he is thinking like that but it's not out of the realm of possibility.
click to expand

LOL...I am definitely a tester. But I would never do a 70 day test like this. That is kinda nutty.
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by TheCancerGirl
Posted by DonnaElvira77
This guy does not love you he is a gobshite. He will never love you. End it now.



Hi @donna so let me clarify he didn't say 70 days I just counted the days his divorce will be final in 70 days and he just asked for time to get finish with that situation
click to expand

Ok - so you made up the 70 day thing. We're reading this thinking he said he literally can't talk to you for 70 days, which makes him sound crazy.

So basically, it just seems he's going to have less regular communication with you, while he's settling his divorce. Not that big of a deal. Just express how attached you are and how hard it will be for you, and try to come up with something that works for you both. If he cares, I'm sure he'll make some effort to touch base, even if the time is more minimal.
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Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Posted by TheCancerGirl
I just need advice on how i should handle this not talking to him for 70 days would in my mind seriously would be impossible. Do you guys think he is saying he wants to end all communication or that he just wants to slow down? I need some help from the mind of a Taurus right now because I don't know what to think.
Just be cooool, and feel it out as you go.

This really is a tough one, but shit's getting real and he's worried about his kid.

I think it's significant that he gave you THE DATE.

And no, I don't think it will be 70 days with no communication... I just think that

maybe his kid said or did something that made him feel like crap, and he's

having to get a handle (emotionally) on what's happening.

Understand, you can't stop the decision he makes, but you can ruin it by being

all suffocating, and trying to micromanage the situation.

You've got to have faith, beh beh.

🙂
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pisceanloves
@pisceanloves
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1548 · Posts: 2885 · Topics: 35
Posted by TheCancerGirl
I just need advice on how i should handle this not talking to him for 70 days would in my mind seriously would be impossible. Do you guys think he is saying he wants to end all communication or that he just wants to slow down? I need some help from the mind of a Taurus right now because I don't know what to think.
Have no idea about taurean people but I would give that time.. He doesn't ask too much, I guess he just wants to slow down. Don't be scared and give him a time. Divorcing isn't easy process and especially with somebody you loved once. Either way you can't do anything. Just don't text him even a word until hes coming back to you. Good luck.
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 121 · Topics: 4
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by TheCancerGirl
Posted by DonnaElvira77
This guy does not love you he is a gobshite. He will never love you. End it now.



Hi @donna so let me clarify he didn't say 70 days I just counted the days his divorce will be final in 70 days and he just asked for time to get finish with that situation
Ok - so you made up the 70 day thing. We're reading this thinking he said he literally can't talk to you for 70 days, which makes him sound crazy.

So basically, it just seems he's going to have less regular communication with you, while he's settling his divorce. Not that big of a deal. Just express how attached you are and how hard it will be for you, and try to come up with something that works for you both. If he cares, I'm sure he'll make some effort to touch base, even if the time is more minimal.
click to expand

So when I wrote the original post I ran out of characters so I couldn't explain it all but in a nutshell I copied and past his text at the top.. And he said the divorce was final March 17 which is 70 days from now.. I posted his text verbatim because I really didn't know how to take it at all.. We have never went very long without talking so I don't really see how he could even last that long.. But thank you because I was afraid to even ask him I don't know how Taurus are when they get this way because this is our first experience where he has requested any space at all from me So thank you
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Posted by Montgomery
Posted by TheCancerGirl
I just need advice on how i should handle this not talking to him for 70 days would in my mind seriously would be impossible. Do you guys think he is saying he wants to end all communication or that he just wants to slow down? I need some help from the mind of a Taurus right now because I don't know what to think.
Just be cooool, and feel it out as you go.

This really is a tough one, but shit's getting real and he's worried about his kid.

I think it's significant that he gave you THE DATE.

And no, I don't think it will be 70 days with no communication... I just think that

maybe his kid said or did something that made him feel like crap, and he's

having to get a handle (emotionally) on what's happening.

Understand, you can't stop the decision he makes, but you can ruin it by being

all suffocating, and trying to micromanage the situation.

You've got to have faith, beh beh.

🙂
click to expand

Yes I agree the most with your statement I know how much he loves his son and he did tell me that he son express that he was sad about the whole situation.. So he may have said some and I have seen myself how his sons unhappiness impacts him.. What does your gut tell you about him giving me the date— That is my biggest dilemma I didn't know if he was saying no contact at all or he's saying just take a step back until then .. It just really confused me.. I have a lot of faith in us because we make each other so happy we have never had an argument or even been mad at each other in 5 months so I believe we are compatible
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Posted by pisceanloves
Posted by TheCancerGirl
I just need advice on how i should handle this not talking to him for 70 days would in my mind seriously would be impossible. Do you guys think he is saying he wants to end all communication or that he just wants to slow down? I need some help from the mind of a Taurus right now because I don't know what to think.
Have no idea about taurean people but I would give that time.. He doesn't ask too much, I guess he just wants to slow down. Don't be scared and give him a time. Divorcing isn't easy process and especially with somebody you loved once. Either way you can't do anything. Just don't text him even a word until hes coming back to you. Good luck.
click to expand

Not texting him a word is definitely going to be hard.. He is currently my best friend but if it's what he wants I will do whatever it takes
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Posted by Nevermore
Posted by LadyNeptune
Give him what he asks for, some space to finish putting the past in the past.

If your overwhelmed with emotion I'd suggest writing him letters. Don't send them! Just write. Pour out all your emotion onto the page.

Maybe one day in the near future you'll give them to him to read.

I like that idea.
click to expand

I love this idea as well I always feel a relief when I can't get things off my chest so I will definitely be taking this advice
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Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Posted by TheCancerGirl
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by TheCancerGirl
I just need advice on how i should handle this not talking to him for 70 days would in my mind seriously would be impossible. Do you guys think he is saying he wants to end all communication or that he just wants to slow down? I need some help from the mind of a Taurus right now because I don't know what to think.
Just be cooool, and feel it out as you go.

This really is a tough one, but shit's getting real and he's worried about his kid.

I think it's significant that he gave you THE DATE.

And no, I don't think it will be 70 days with no communication... I just think that

maybe his kid said or did something that made him feel like crap, and he's

having to get a handle (emotionally) on what's happening.

Understand, you can't stop the decision he makes, but you can ruin it by being

all suffocating, and trying to micromanage the situation.

You've got to have faith, beh beh.

🙂
Yes I agree the most with your statement I know how much he loves his son and he did tell me that he son express that he was sad about the whole situation.. So he may have said some and I have seen myself how his sons unhappiness impacts him.. What does your gut tell you about him giving me the date— That is my biggest dilemma I didn't know if he was saying no contact at all or he's saying just take a step back until then .. It just really confused me.. I have a lot of faith in us because we make each other so happy we have never had an argument or even been mad at each other in 5 months so I believe we are compatible
click to expand

The date?

He wasn't vague... he wanted you to have assurance

and you just don't see that very often.

It really (to me) sounds like he is not interested in losing you,

so much as he's trying to do right by his kid, and wants you

to know what to expect.

I think Taurus and Cancer can be a great match... just be cool,

and lean into it, and be an adult about it-- it's going to be alright.


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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Thank you so much for your words they have helped me tremendously I think out of every comment here yours have been the most powerful to me.. In my heart I felt it but I needed to make sure I was understanding him correctly.. We are perfect together and I do not want to loose him I am willing to wait for him and I will just have to be strong because he is worth it.. Putting my big girl panties on right now !!!
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berrywiddle
@berrywiddle
9 YearsAquarius

Comments: 4 · Posts: 87 · Topics: 7
GIVE HIM IS SPACE. If it's one thing I know about a Taurus man, they do not sugarcoat or play games. He is telling you that it's you he wants, so respect his space. Do not contact him. If you keep trying to contact him, he will not take you serious. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you can survive 70 days without him, I GUARANTEE he will be yours. Take it from me, I messed up with a Taurus, tried to read between the lines, when it was straight forward and beautiful, but I was over thinking and it let to our demise. Don't let this happen to you. Taurus men are the greatest, in my experience. And I've dated all signs except a Leo. And I would love to settle down with a Taurus man, my Taurus man, but it's wishful thinking.
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Posted by berrywiddle
GIVE HIM IS SPACE. If it's one thing I know about a Taurus man, they do not sugarcoat or play games. He is telling you that it's you he wants, so respect his space. Do not contact him. If you keep trying to contact him, he will not take you serious. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you can survive 70 days without him, I GUARANTEE he will be yours. Take it from me, I messed up with a Taurus, tried to read between the lines, when it was straight forward and beautiful, but I was over thinking and it let to our demise. Don't let this happen to you. Taurus men are the greatest, in my experience. And I've dated all signs except a Leo. And I would love to settle down with a Taurus man, my Taurus man, but it's wishful thinking.
It's great to know that I am not the only person who has experienced this.. Only on day 3 and it feels like 300 haha but if I can make it 3 days I can wait this thing out. I will do whatever it takes.. Thank you @berrywidddle
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Okay so I won't contact him.. When I think back he has said he was divorced several times because I think in his mind it's already done and I've only seen him bring it up as going thru a divorce when something happens for example his son being sad about have to go from on parent to another or his ex spending $ 10,000 on a card they shared without his consent.. These two things happened and I saw him get emotional about them.. I do think that he is worth it because I have never felt this way I have been with all types of men but none like him.. He makes me so happy i even love his flaws.. I have seen his temper and I have been able to calm him I know that everything won't always be this perfect but if he will be loyal to me and love only me it is definitely worth it..
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Wow thank you I will do just that I will stay as busy as I can I want to respect him and his decisions so I will occupy my time and focus on living life I must admit I never knew how emotionally dependend I become so quickly but I can do this.. I feel good knowing that he told me that after all of this is done we will be together and also that he can see a future for us.. Those words hold a lot of power to me.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

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So, people have to actually tell you that to wait means wait?

People have to actually tell you that if he wants to talk to you before then, then he will?

people have to actually tell you that if you really do love them, then a couple months time isn't excessive?

people have to actually tell you that if you really do love him, then you have to be understanding?



Like, all of those things escape your brain? ..... and you have to actually be guided to think rationally?



Poor guy, you're kind of a dumbass, aren't you?
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by P-Angel

So, people have to actually tell you that to wait means wait?

People have to actually tell you that if he wants to talk to you before then, then he will?

people have to actually tell you that if you really do love them, then a couple months time isn't excessive?

people have to actually tell you that if you really do love him, then you have to be understanding?



Like, all of those things escape your brain? ..... and you have to actually be guided to think rationally?



Poor guy, you're kind of a dumbass, aren't you?
Just ignore her. Perpetually negative about everything. Click on her name and read a few pages of her posts if you want a good laugh. Every 2nd or 3rd post is labeling someone an idiot, a cunt, trash, etc.

.
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 121 · Topics: 4
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by P-Angel

So, people have to actually tell you that to wait means wait?

People have to actually tell you that if he wants to talk to you before then, then he will?

people have to actually tell you that if you really do love them, then a couple months time isn't excessive?

people have to actually tell you that if you really do love him, then you have to be understanding?



Like, all of those things escape your brain? ..... and you have to actually be guided to think rationally?



Poor guy, you're kind of a dumbass, aren't you?
Just ignore her. Perpetually negative about everything. Click on her name and read a few pages of her posts if you want a good laugh. Every 2nd or 3rd post is labeling someone an idiot, a cunt, trash, etc.

.
click to expand

You are so right.. Why do people have to be so negative this issue was huge to me because I really love him and I want to make sure I handle it the right way.. I want use to work..
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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When I tell you I am ðŸ'¯ percent a cancer there is no in between with me I am definitely true to my sign.. I know there is no such thing as perfect but just like he said in his message to me he is prefect for me.. I said it earlier I actually like his flaws I see them and I appreciate the beauty of it all.. I know eventually we will fight and disagree but up until we haven't.. I'm doing a lot of work on myself because I know it has to be done to make us work.
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TheCancerGirl
@TheCancerGirl
9 Years

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Well he treats me like a queen. And he's my King. He makes sure I've never wanted for anything.. He's met my family and I've talked to his parents.. We have traveled together and we make each other happy so... Call it what you want I don't really care about your statements all I care about is him and our happiness.. I'm not a jealous person I never felt threatened about his ex I left a 4 year relationship myself .. All I am concerned with is being there for him during this time the way I should be I'm sorry if you don't have a person who cares that much about you to put in work to make sure the relationship last!
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685

It just absolutely amazes me at how stupid people really are.

You filled in the crack while he was rebounding from a marriage, and now the divorce is almost upon him, so he bails on you and gives you a sob story ..... and you sit there, along with all of these other fools who are supporting you, in complete ignorance to the fact t hat while he was with you, he was doing so to forget someone else ... NOT because of you, and your qualities.


You have no clue of that, even as you lived it ... what a fucking dumbass.


she's a rebound ..... that's why he's bailing out ..... does a person have to skywrite that across the sky for it to sink in


He doesn't love you ... and you're so self absorbed, only recognizing how YOU feel, that you're blind to the reality right in front of your face.


I would say that you'd grow out of the when you grow up, but, you're a Cancer, so .............................
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